Emotional Intelligence with The EQ Coach

The peaceful moment
A BLOGGER WRITES about a moment of emotional intelligence:

Before the Storm
Sitting in my car watching the sun rise, I’m calm. I just finished a workout at the gym and found a quiet spot on a quiet road to pull over and enjoy my breakfast-to-go. This may be my last opportunity to feel this way for a while.

On Saturday, I leave for Italy; then one day after returning, board another plane for Malaysia. Frantically preparing for two weeks away from my home & office is all I’ll be doing once I pull away from this calm spot. So I linger - chewing on my bagel - and enjoy the last few moments of quiet before a firestorm of activity kicks in.

This struck me as such a great example of emotional intelligence. This is someone who really knows themselves, and their feelings. And good vacabulary, i.e., he might have said "before the nightmare begins" or "before I go nuts," or dramatic things like that, be shows remarkable restraint in this writing.

These are feelings we can all relate too - the frenetic energy of travel and being away from homw, especially for business.

But how many of us have the emotional intelligence to find a quiet moment and pull over the the side of the road and rest.

Well, I did the other day. I'd been in the car seemingly all day. Well, a drive, then a 3-hour appointment, then an hour's drive, and I arrived at the destination early. It was mid-afternoon, and I've never really wanted to give up my preschooler's afternoon nap, so I pulled off the road to grab 40 winks. Except in this case, I pulled into a large and empty church parking lot, because I thought I'd be safe there. I was way over by the dumpster, and there were just a couple cars way over on the other side.

I laid back the car seat, opened the windows, and leaned back to relax. Several minutes later there was a knock on the window. Some man was concerned about the daycare there and not wanting the children to ... you know. The knock on the window scared me and took away all the good effects of the rest.

So - remember - it's emotional intelligence but alsological/intellectual intelligence, i.e., next time I won't choose a church parking lot!

And back to our friend, above. I feel sure he handled the travel well. He sounds like that kinda guy.

Call Susan Dunn the Emotional Intelligence Coach for help in increasing your emotional intelligence. I offer online courses, email support, phone coaching, and in addition, I train and certify coaches internationally. Don't wait. Do it now. Before the firestorm of activity begins. Again. sdunn@susandunn.cc or 817-734-1471.

Travel - toil, torture

"Travel" derives from travail, French for "arduous toil." Exactly. Travel is work. Trace the etymology bacak even further and you find the Latin word for "torture." ("The Traveling Curmudgeon")

I don't know about you, but I love a wry sense of humor and a good turn of phrase.

Someone gave me the book, "The Traveling Curmudgeon," before I left for Europe, and I have just laughed and laughed at it. It leaves no stone unturned, and treats so well, the inevitable "surprises" and "disasters" of travel. In fact the preface says it is designed to "explode the myth that travel is some sort of cultural hygiene necessary for mental or spiritual health." "It will liberate you," it says "from the tyranny of the travel / industrial complex."

I travel because I love to. I take the good with the bad. And I love some places other people hate, and everyone hates some place. That having been said, I give you the following. My endeavor is to be impartial, so don't send me cards and letters. The most important thing you must have for travel, as for life, is a sense of humor:

1. "America is a country no one should go to for the first time." (Jawajarlal Nehru)
2. "America: The land of the naive and the home of the literal." (Gore Vidal)
3. "Belgium: Northern Ireland run by the Swiss." (Mark Lawson)
4. "Boston: Clear out 800,000 people and preserve it as a museum piece." (Frank Lloyd Wright)
5. "Brazil has money that inflates like a dead dog in the hot sun." (Clive James)
6. (This one will surprise you, if you know his poem) "Here is the difference between Dante, Milton and me. They wrote about hell and never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years and years." (Carl Sandburg)
7. "Realizing that they will never be a world power, the Cypriots have decided to be a world nuisance." (George Mikes)
8. "To define Dallas is to add a whole new humongous dimension to bad." (Molly Ivins)
9. "Dallas reminds me of Hungary." (Karl Lagerfeld)
10. "Delhi is the capital of the losing streak. It is the metropolis of the crossed wire, the missed appointment, the puncture, the wrong number." (Jan Morris)
11. La Jolla: "Nothing but a climate and a lot of meaningless chi-chi." (Raymond Chandler.
12. New York: "If a day goes by and I haven't been slain, I'm happy." (Carol Leifer)
13. Philadelphia: "A metropolis sometimes known as the City of Brotherly Love but more accurately as the City of the Bleak November Afternoon." (S. J. Perelman)
14. Russia: "I never think I'm going to get out of Russia Something about the airport says, 'We are closed for no reason all of a sudden. Try again ... someday.'"
15. "[Seattle is] surrounded by the soft, the gray, and the moist, as if it is being digested by an oyster." (Tom Robbins)
16. "A nation of brilliant failures, the Irish, who are too poetical to be poets." (Max Beerbohm)
17. "No onew can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute." (Paul Gallico)
18. "The German people are an orderly, vain, deeply sentimental, and rather insensitive people. They seem to feel at their best when they are singing in chorus, saluting, or obeying orders." (H. G. Wells)
19. "Eat lettuce in Mexico only if sterilized by a blowtorch." (Benjamin Kean)
20. "Nebraska is proof that Hell is full, and the dead walk the Earth." (Liz Winston)

And my favorite - so broadly-applicable:

Long before I visited Sweden for the first time, I had built up a composite portrait of the average Swede. He was withdrawn and spasmodic, reserved on the surface but explosive beneath it, veering between troughs of depression and fits of abandon. He was a pacifist, a socialist, an alcoholic and a hiker. He swam nude and attempted to commit suidice during the long winters. Like many other popular misconceptions (e.g., that the French are greedy and the Spanish stoic), this turned out to be fairly close to the truth." (Kenneth Tynan)

In England, everything is permitted unless it's forbidden.
In Germany, everything is forbidden unless it's permitted.
In Italy, everything is permitted even if it's forbidden.

The book is "The Traveling Curmudgeon," by Jon Winokur

Do You Need a Reason to Travel?

Better Health by Traveling
by Jerry Waxman

From today's mailbag, all the way from Israel. Appropos ... Nancy, Hale and I are heading for the Caribbean at yet another stressful time -- the holidays. December 18-22, I'm gettin' outa here!

From the article:

Everywhere you go, whenever you turn on the television, you see and hear reminders that "These are troubled times." Are these messages useful?

The number one remedy: Do some traveling

If you look around, you'll see that stores are still open, and people are still going about their daily routines. And that's how things should be. Part of the routine must include taking a vacation

We may not have much control over how our leaders handle the economy. But we do control how we react. Just because everybody says there is an economic crisis does not mean we have to have a personal crisis.

The best reactions to an economic crisis are either:
1. Find ways to make more money, or
2. Take a vacation, or
3. Both

Excerpts:

A vacation reduces stress. That is the greatest value of a vacation.

Scientists have shown that workers are more productive after a break from routine. Not only laborers, but also managers, executives, and creative professionals notice a surge in productivity after they take a vacation.

The best thing we can do is take a break. Get away for a while.

Everybody around the world ought to take a vacation together. That would not only reduce everybody's stress, it might solve all the world's problems.

Travel for health, for the health of your family, and for the good of your country and the world.

DID I NEED A REASON? Besides, it's the emotionally intelligent thing to do.

Make Your Copper Canyon Train Trip Easier

I just got back from this Copper Canyon train trip. It is truly a trip you don't want to miss. Barranca del Cobre, that is! P.S. One of the hotel owners told us that Stephen Hawking had taken the train trip.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR TRIP TO COPPER CANYON MEXICO EASIER

You’ve probably heard about the train trip through Copper Canyon in Mexico. The Chihuahua Pacifico, “El Chepe” for short, is the only passenger train in Mexico. It winds its way through the Copper Canyon system which is bigger than the Grand Canyon in the US. It is increasingly becoming a tourist magnet. On our train ride, there were tourists from the US, France, Italy, Germany, and Mexico.

You can fly to El Paso and then drive to the city of Chihuahua, spend the night there and then board the train early in the morning, like 5:30 a.m. Don’t worry, you can get a hot breakfast on board. There’s a dining car and also a bar. The Copper Canyon train runs between Ojinaga (north) and Los Mochis, in the state of Sinaloa, near the Sea of Cortez, but passenger service begins in Chihuahua City.

Your Copper Canyon train trip will take you from sea level to more than 8,000 feet as the train cuts its way through the Sierra Madre Mountains. Reports vary (and we didn’t count) but there are over 75 tunnels, and over 30 bridges. The views are spectacular, covering all types of terrain – farmland, Indian dwellings, hills, canyons, rivers, springs, waterfalls – you’ll see it all. You can stand between cars for a better view, fresh air, and great photographs. This is truly a photographer’s dream trip, but great for hikers and outdoor enthusiasts as well. The train always stops at the town of Divisadero so passengers can get out and see the view. As the name would suggest, Divisadero is at a dividing point between the Atlantic and Pacific watershed. You can see down three of the canyons: Cobre (copper), Urique, and Tarahumara. You’ll also want to do some souvenir shopping. The Tarahumara Indians sell their crafts and there are also food stands.

The Copper Canyon railroad was begun in the late 19th century but because of various problems, not completed until 1961. The entire trip takes around 15 hours. Worried about disorder? There’s a military guy with a machine gun on board, because I guess there used to be robberies. Well not any more!
Since this is not a sleeper train, you can stay in hotels along the way where you may find trail rides, hiking, a van trip down the canyon, ATMs, local music, sights (like balancing rock), missions, food and shopping.

Google “Copper Canyon” images and take a look at the photos. If this whets your appetite, here are some tips to make your trip easier:

1. Southwest Airlines flies to El Paso. That’s a no-brainer. We spent the night there, and then our guide drove us across the border to Chihuahua the next day.

2. Be sure you have a valid passport.

3. Use My Power Mall. For instance, when I clicked “Travel”, Southwest Airlines was right next to a place that provides quick passports, and you get a rebate on both. Then there were stores for buying the necessary vacation clothes, and then click over to a drugstore where you can get some Imodium.

4. Yeah, it’s a good idea to take something for turista, just in case. While you’re on My Power Mall you can also check for tours and accommodations. Wyndham is on there, Hyatt, Marriot. Heck, BritRail Tours is even on there – 1000s of “stores” to choose from, rebates on all of them.

5. You’ll also need some special clothes for your trip, available at discount from 1000s of merchants through My Power Mall as well. Specifically we recommend:

a. A hat or head covering, sunglasses, and good sunscreen. Think of it like skiing in Colorado. High altitude.

b. Comfortable casual clothes, jeans, shorts, t-shirts are fine. The temperature can vary. Bring layers. Of course there is air-conditioning on the train. In one hotel, we turned the heat on at night.

c. A backpack or something you can put over your shoulder to put all your things in like purse, passport and camera.

d. Film or batteries for the camera. Trust me – you’ll take hundreds of photos and never tire.

e. Shoes for horseback riding, hiking and the ATV.

f. Something for rain. There were sort of tropical showers in the afternoons and evenings when we were there.

g. Bathing suit. Some of the hotels have hot tubs and pools. Check before you go. You may also want to take a dip in some of the beautiful rivers.

6. Dress clothes optional. Our tour included two really nice restaurants. So if you like to dress up, go ahead. The one we ate at in the town of Chihuahua, it was Sunday afternoon and the families there were dressed. (It was also one of the single best meals I’ve ever had.)

7. Any special equipment for your laptop, cell phone etc. you can do some quick comparison shopping and get a good deal here. Everywhere we stayed had computer connection, but not always a computer. What was nice was the ones that did have computers and Internet let you get on the Internet without charge. They don’t do that on a cruise now, do they?

8. Check with your cell provider before you go about coverage. There were blackouts for us.

9. A guide. He can handle the luggage, the tickets, the lines, the local culture, the language and currency, getting through customs, and they know where the good places and the good water are. In the towns where we stopped, there was always a place to buy the things we needed or wanted, like bottled water. Hey! I needed a pony tail holder. They even had that! And at the local versions of Stop ‘n’ Go’s, we fell in love with Cremas.

10. Get insurance – if you’re driving in Mexico, and also check your health insurance to see if you’re covered in Mexico.

11. One last thing and you can get this on My Power Mall too -- Toilet paper. Yeah, you’ll see a lot of the locals getting on the train with a roll of TP. The restrooms were well-stocked (and clean), but it seems to be a tradition.

12. Lastly, enrich your experience by learning before you go. On LEARNING TROVE you can find videos about Mexico, and also introductory Spanish. If you’re taking kids with you, this will really add to their experience. Comprende? Actually one of the hidden bonuses about this trip is that your kids may see the Milky Way for the first time in their lives. There’s a great educational video about the Milky Way on Learning Trove. Just go HERE and enter “Milky Way.” It may be the first time you have seen the Milky Way in many years, without realizing it. The stars at night are very visible. Great learning experience for the kids.

I’d heard a lot about the Copper Canyon train ride. It’s one of those trips that exceeded my expectations. It helps to be well-prepared, so I hope these tips help you.

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Etiquette

Emotional Intelligence covers it all -- nonverbal, multicultural, etiquette.

Here's how it's done in Prague!