Goleman Asks (and Answers) Why Aren't We All Good Samaritans?

If we are automatically wired to help other people, how come we don't more often, or even all the time? Daniel Goleman asks, and answers, this question in this video -- interesting that someone sent me this after the wonderful GOOD SAMARITAN experience I had recently. (Actually I have had them v. often, and I try and return the favors.)

Listen to Daniel Goleman, who wrote "Emotional Intelligence," on the topic of Good Samaritan-ism in his video, "Why Aren't We All Good Samaritans"?

He mentions doing research on marriage in the NY Times, and finding a woman, Alice, who had a simple Dating Test: From the moment they were together, how long did it take the guy to ask her a question using the word "you." The man she married did is almost immediately. Word!

Goleman mentions coining a word for when the person you are talking to suddenly whips out their blackberry or cell phone, totally ignoring you. Since the word is a poor choice, rather easily miscontrued, I will just point you to Daniel Goleman's blog.

Emotional Intelligence is Good for Your Health

HEALTH: PSYCHOLOGY; Researchers Add Sounds of Silence To the Growing List of Health Risks - New York Times

This article was written in 1988 by Daniel Goleman for the N. Y. Times, and still we are only beginning to deal with the idea of emotional intelligence, wellness and social support.

It's important to note that if you cannot connect with people emotionally, you can be isolated and lonely in a room full of people.

It is hard to ignore data like this. It makes a very compelling case for developing your emotional intelligence.

From the article:

Being cut off from friendships and one's family doubles a person's chances of sickness or death ...

Although social scientists have long known there was a strong association between loneliness and illness, it was unclear until recent studies which was the cause and which the effect.

But the new studies, summarized in the current issue of Science magazine, show that a lack of social relationships in and of itself heightens people's susceptibility to illness.

''The data shows that people who are isolated but healthy are twice as likely to die over the period of a decade or so as are others in the same health,'' said James House, a sociologist at the Institute of Social Research at University of Michigan, a co-author of the report.

The report, co-written by two other researchers ... summarizes studies ... on the effects isolation has on health that have been done over the last two decades. In the studies, more than 37,000 people were assessed over periods of up to 12 years.

... ''It's the 10 to 20 percent of people who say they have nobody with whom they can share their private feelings, or who have close contact with others less than once a week, who are at most risk,'' Dr. House said.

More Risky Than Smoking

In adding to the list of factors that put people at an increased risk for disease, the report said social isolation ''is as significant to mortality rates as smoking, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity and lack of physical exercise.''

''In fact, when age is adjusted for, social isolation is as great or greater a mortality risk than smoking,'' it added.

While smoking makes a person about 1.6 times more likely to develop illnesses of all kinds, social isolation makes a person twice as likely to become sick, the researchers said.
''After controlling for the effects of physical health, socioeconomic status, smoking, alcohol, exercise, obesity, race, life satisfaction and health care, the studies found that those with few or weak social ties were twice as likely to die as were those with strong ties,'' Dr. House said. '

Isolation is more devastating to men than to women ...

The comforting effect of another person's presence has been shown to lower not just heart rate and blood pressure but also the secretion of fatty acids that can block arteries.

Effect in Brain Theorized

One theory of why the presence of another person might help suggests that there is an effect in the brain from social contact. The theory holds that social contact inhibits activity in the posterior hypothalmic zone of the brain, lowering the rate of secretion of acetylcholine, cortisol and catecholamines, chemicals that trigger more rapid breathing, a quickened heartbeat and other physiological signs of stress.

Signs of Stress: The Body Reacts

Social isolation can have a broad range of physiological effects, notably on the brain and the cardiovascular system, among other major organs. Loneliness seems to lower the effectiveness of the immune system while increasing stress on the heart. One theory holds that social relationships can lower the rate of secretion of certain brain chemicals that cause rapid breathing, a quickened heartbeat and similar signs of stress.

To read the full article, follow the link above.

IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS SUFFERING FROM ISOLATION, coaching is a great route for them to take. It is contact with another person who has their interests at heart. It is just as effective by phone and email, from an experienced and knowledgeable coach. Emotional Intelligence coaching helps us learn the social skills that keep us from being isolated.

Note the effects on MEN.

Take the EQ Course, email me for coaching, sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Daniel Kobialka Talks about Emotional Intelligence

The Emotional Intelligence of Music: A Note for the Back-to-Schoolers

"Music to Motivate, Accelerate and Support Learning" is the article appearing on the website of reknowned violinist Daniel Kobialka: Daniel Kobialka Music

And a fitting topic it is, as we approach the beginning of another school year, though it's all the same to us lifetime learners. (We know it contributes to the emotional intelligence competency of resilience.)

On Kobialka's website: "I found years ago that music creates a healing environment. I find Kobialka's to be the best available." -Dr. Bernie Siegel.

Kobialka admits that as he prepares to write about music and learning, he is thinking about emotional intelligence.

From the article:

One concept that keeps popping up in articles and books about the subject, is how music can strengthen emotional intelligence. Daniel Goleman wrote a book on the subject in 1995, and since then there's been quite a buzz around the ideas. In fact, when the Harvard Business Review published an article on emotional intelligence two years ago, it attracted more readers than any other article published in HBR in the last 40 years! **Now that's buzz!

Although, like other "pop concepts" there has been considerable malignment, the idea has firm roots in science. Basically, there is scientific acceptance that there are cognitive (relating to thinking and the brain) and non-cognitive (everything else) intelligences. ... If we define success as a person's ability to act purposefully, think rationally, and deal effectively with his environment, then we immediately realize that how he, his coworkers, and his boss feel also impact the results he is able to achieve.

Kobialka lists some of the emotional intelligence competencies, noting how they inter-relate. He concludes:

"You can see how music that stimulates attention, calms anxiety, tempers over-exuberance, and creates happiness would also motivate, support and accelerate learning."

For more about music and emotional intelligence, see www.susandunn.cc/vivoperlei.htm. Now a coincidence that it is dedicated to a physician and healer, Dr. John J. Alifano, a pianist and composer.

**Get with the buzz - though as you can tell, this is far from the fad du jour. Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks to learn more about emotional intelligence and "ace the EQ exam." 817-734-1471, sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Everyone's Talking about Emotional Intelligence

A SAFER PLACE by fernety (with permission)

Posts - Discussions of a BlondeVixen

Her friends are bouncing from one work drama to another, so she's reading Goleman to learn more about emotional intelligence. It's the BUZZ WORD in MANAGEMENT she says. Emotional intelligence ... the buzz word in management.

What took them so long?

Of course it's best to actively learn emotional intelligence, which you can through my Internet course, with or without coaching to accompany. The more, the better, though. You can really accelerate your learning curve.

We spend 8, 10, 12 hours a day at work ... 5, 6 days a week.

Won't it be nice when everyone knows EQ??

Take THE COURSE.

MBA programs avoid emotional intelligence or treat it like a weapon

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS

FROM SUSAN DUNN
THE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE COACH

817-741-7223

Emotional Intelligence in the news. Emotional Intelligence works and articles such as these explain the components and competencies, and show how its effective use in coaching, and in establishing an emotional intelligence culture in your organization can move the bottom line.

Performance improvement specialist Rossmore acquired by Arup Consultant News - UK... are nowhere near enough. All the things taught in MBA programmes either avoid emotional intelligence or treat it as a weapon.”. ...

FROM THE ARTICLE: “Many management people are frightened of behaviour,” [a Rossmore official] says. “In the UK we still have relatively few emotionally intelligent people in senior positions—it’s getting better but there are nowhere near enough. All the things taught in MBA programmes either avoid emotional intelligence or treat it as a weapon.”

While Rossmore deals with “soft” or people issues, the approach doesn’t mean shying away from tough decisions or creating real results. “As part of our diagnosis you might find people who need to move and we’re not afraid to do that,” he says. “Our sold [sic] purpose is to improve the business by getting people harnessed to the organisation’s objectives. For every £1 the clients spend with us they save £33, and a lot our stuff is unmeasurable—the true test is the bottom line.”

The 3 Parts of our BrainsBy Matt Perelstein The Limbic System: The emotional center that creates feelings but is not conscious ... Othello - The Heart: The Feeling intelligence. Lives in the emotions, ... Hamlet - The Head: The Reasoning Intelligence, living in the head and in an ...Emotional Intelligence beats... - http://2gethelp.blogs.com/takingcontrol/

TED2007: Icons, geniuses and mavericks (seriously) By Bruno Giussani ... singer Paul Simon (as in Simon & Garfunkel); economist Edward de Bono; "Emotional Intelligence" author Daniel Coleman; "Lost" creator JJ Abrams; "Sims" creator Will Wright; Jeff Skoll of Participant Productions ("Good night, ...Lunch over IP - http://giussani.typepad.com/loip/