Text messaging while driving

It's a scary thought to me to find out that 7 states have already banned text messaging while driving. I guess I was naive. It seems like such an incredibly stupid thing to do, I never thought someone would do it.

According to the Dallas Morning News, 7 states, as well as the District of Columbia, have enacted laws that prohibit text messaging for all drivers. They are Alaska, California, Connecticut, Louisiana, Minnesota, New Jersey and West Virginia.

I am just thrilled to know that as I drive the commute to downtown Dallas, aka NASCAR, someone might actually be txt msging while they're driving.

Putting Things in Perspective

Just to keep things in perspective:

President, Leadership, Emotional Intelligence

President Barack Obama will soon begin a process that is part of leadership -- disappointing people. Because the constituency is deeply divided, and because he needs more support to push his legislation through, he will have to win over some of those who voted against him (build a broader political base) and in so-doing, will lose some of those who voted for him.

And because he now has to 'put feet' to his idealistic promises he will do the same - disappoint many.

What will he do and how will he do it?

Or course I'm concerned about the election. Who isn't. Whichever way you voted we have some monumnetal work to be done.

So I've been reading.

I went back to LBJ, who pushed some major US-changing legislation through - to say the least. Many reading this blog may not have lived through "integration" or have an inkling what it meant at the time. I remember my husband and I pondering a trip from N. C. to Florida, and being afraid to drive that route at the time.

At any rate, about leadership, from an article on LBJ:

He was fond of quoting Sam Rayburn as saying that ''A man who can't size up another person when he walks in the room had better be in another profession.'' No one could do that better than Johnson. His greatest gifts of leadership - the ability to understand, persuade and subdue - depended on connections and relationships that existed on a human scale.

The part we seem to forget, in our negotiations, is the "subdue" part. Big emotional intelligence thing there. It could be re-phrased as the flip side of "don't leave them wounded."

To continue:

''I always believed,'' he once said, ''that as long as I could take someone into a room with me I could make him my friend. And that included anybody, even Nikita Khrushchev. From the start of my Presidency, I believed that if I handled him right he would go along with me. Deep down, hidden way below, he too wanted what was good, but every now and then this terrible urge for world domination would get into him and take control and then he'd go off on some crazy jag, like putting those missiles in Cuba. I saw all that in him and knew I could cope with it so long as he and I were in the same room.''

Later, as the enigmatic Ho Chi Minh loosed forces that threatened to destroy him, he would remark: ''If only I could get Ho in a room with me, I'm sure we could work things out.''

And then:

It was true that there were few who could totally resist the influence of Lyndon Johnson's personal presence.

''I can't stand the bastard,'' Robert Kennedy once told me after a private meeting with the President, ''but he's the most formidable human being I've ever met.''

From Dick Goodwin's President Lyndon Johnson: The War Within .

What will happen now is we will see if he can be a leader as well as someone who can win an election.

May God bless him in his endeavors, and the U. S. as well.

How to Have a Peaceful, Meaningful Christmas

My article, "Post Holiday Blues" is featured in an ebook you may want to read. It's called HOLIDAY BLUES GUIDE, by Barbara Kilikevicius, written "for all who seek solace during the Christmas season."

Post Holiday Blues
By, Susan Dunn, MA

“You gotta pay the price,” one of my clients is always telling me. She’s referring to what is a law of physics, and also the way things work – what goes up must come down.

The higher your Christmas, the more exciting, chaotic and tumultuous, the more likely you’ll be tumbling down just as far. Why? According to sychoneuroimmunologist (big word meaning the effect of brain and emotions on health, i.e., immunology), Paul Pearsall, Ph.D., our smart bodies want to establish equilibrium. Picture a graph on a midline. The midline is calm, routine. We can get very happy
and go up; or very unhappy and go down. Therefore, if our emotions go way up, there will come a time when our inner wisdom brings us down low, so we settle back into that middle space.

Does this mean if you have a terrible grief or depression, you can expect to be that happy at some time in the future? I’ve seen it happen. It’s a tenet of Emotional Intelligence that if you don’t fully experience one emotion, you stuff down ALL emotions. In other words, if you face grief and go through it, not around it, you will carve out a space to be filled with happiness. If you don’t, you shut down, and
become numb, in which case you don’t feel the bad, but you also don’t feel the good, and greatly limit your experience of life.

So, if you’re having a “down” period now what do you do? First of all, accept it. You can last it out. To speed it on its way:

1. Get active. Exercise an extra hour. It creates physical energy, it clears the mind, and flushes out toxic emotions. Do it especially if you don’t feel like it.

2. If you’re an introvert you may prefer meditation, yoga or Tai Chi.

3. Clean your house from top to bottom, doing the physical work yourself. Do it like a ritual, that is, with meaning. This is to get rid of the yuch, and make room for the sunshine. This is a tradition in many cultures at the New Year for a reason – because of what we’re all going through right now! Throw stuff out, sweep toward the doors, vacuum then take the bag out and dump it in the garbage, wash the furniture with something like Murphy’s soap.

4. Accept quiet times and go with the flow. Curl up by the fire and read good books. Coddle yourself with extra long baths with special lotions. Get your nails done. Get massages. Fix yourself a warm breakfast. It’s kind of a hibernating time anyway.

5. Jump-start your thinking brain. Start a new course. If you’re an extrovert, go to community ed classes. If you’re an introvert, enjoy yourself on the Internet with distance learning courses and take teleclasses.

6. Start a new intellectual project at work and at home. Start a new physical project at home - build a greenhouse, paint the spare bedroom.

7. Start anything new – new health club, new piano lessons, coaching, fencing lessons, new hairstyle, new friendship, new career.

8. If you live in an area where this is high allergy-time (such as Texas), make adjustments to your diet, because it’s cumulative - pollen PLUS diet PLUS dust and mold inside your house. Clean your air ducts.

9. Laugh. One simple exercise is to put a pencil in your teeth crosswise. This makes the muscles of your face into a smile, and this helps our bodies. It gives us the same great relief a good laugh does.

10. Don’t fight it. There is no need to appear “Miss Congeniality” when you aren’t feeling that way. It’s okay to be in a quiet place. Also, because this is the peak of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), get more sunshine. Exercise outside. Take a Caribbean cruise. When the sun crosses the bed in the spare bedroom, go lie down and soak up the rays.

Change is the only thing that stays constant, so know that your mood will eventually find its place. If you are seriously depressed, check with your personal health care professional.

Susan Dunn, M.A. (http://www.susandunn.cc/), individual coaching, coach
certification program, ebooks and seminars for mindful living and success.

Please contact me for coaching during this time! It's one of my specialties. sdunn@susandunn.cc . Coaching by email, phone and in person. Payment accepted by personal check, credit card, or PayPal.

Barbara writes in the introduction:
, emotional

My original intent was to add a small subchapter in my book A Mindful Christmas ~ How to Create a Meaningful, Peaceful Holiday. After hearing from many experts I decided to put together this free guide for anyone that needs some relief now. If you suffer from the holiday blues or know someone that does then this guide is for you. Please feel free to print this out or send anyone our way via the website http://www.amindfulchristmas.com to
download a free copy of this ebook themselves.

May it be a peaceful and meaningful season for you and yours. Let me help you if I can.

Susan

FOR CHRISTMAS MUSIC SELECTIONS THAT SOOTHE, AND USING THE POWER OF MUSIC TO MAKE YOUR HOLIDAYS PEACEFUL AND MEANINGFUL, VISIT CLUB VIVO PER LEI - I live for music.

Ithaca and a Journey of Emotional Intelligence

Sean Connery and "Ithaca" and a Journey with Emotional Intelligence



Let me help you on your journey to Ithaca, and help you not set the Cyclops and wild Poseidon up in front of you.

The beauty of this story is why we study Myths - Greek, Roman, Hindu ... because one day in your life, you will need them. I offer a beautiful Internet course on Myths, available for $49.99. Email me to order.

For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Job Traning: Smile and Greet People

SMILE AND GREET THE CUSTOMER

I can't think of any store I go into these days where the staff or "customer service representatives" have not been trained to smile and greet the customer immediately and pleasantly - or else "get written up."

It is politically correct to smile these days. Nearly everyone does, in public.

Just one thought from the venerable Maya Angelou:

If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be
surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at
total strangers."

- Maya Angelou

It is part of your personal power, emotional intelligence, to be able to manage your emotions and use them for win-win outcomes. For emotional intelligence coaching, or to become a certified emotional intelligence coach, email me for information at sdunn@susandunn.cc or visit my website, www.susandunn.cc .

Susan Dunn EQ Coach

There are lots of Susan Dunns. Two of them are famous. One is an opera star and the other writes history books. I'm the one who is an EQ (Emotional Intelligence) and Personal Life Coach.

On her blog, Carol Ross put the following quote from Susan Dunn, the historian, which caught my eye, it being election eve:

"[O]nly tolerance for opposition and conflict can guarantee the survival of political freedom."
--Susan Dunn, in the introduction to The Social Contract and the First and Second Discourses by Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Without tolerance for opposition and conflict, we would not have a democracy after all, we would have a dictatorship or autocracy.

Ross adds that what's out there is also within us. We often have conflicts, and this is how we learn, make decisions, use good judgment, get balaced, grow, and get resolution. Many decisions are made through conflict - I want to move/I want to stay here; I want to change jobs/I'm afraid to change jobs; I want Mary but I also want Sue; I want to get an A and I don't want to study.

Some of our biggest conflicts occur when our "brains" are fighting each other. Let's say your reptilian brain wants you to eat that steak and hot fudge sundae, saying it's hungry ... and your neocortex tells you that if you want to continue losing weight you cannot do that.

What's interesting is that on her blog, Ross mentions her coach a lot. Hooray for coaches and coaching! Yes coaches help people. I'm proud to be a part of the profession.

If Emotional Intelligence Improves SAT Scores How Do You Learn It?

Emotional Intelligence Makes The Grade is the title of the article, featured on medicalnewstoday, and other medical news' sites. To read the whole article, go here.

According to a study presented at The British Psychological Society's Education Section Annual Conference, students' emotional intelligence (which they define as "the ability to identify, assess, and manage your own and others' emotions") was measured, and then compared to their English and Science scores on the SAT and later on the GCSE.

Findings:

A significant relationship was found between boys' emotional intelligence and
their SAT and GCSE English scores, with boys with higher emotional intelligence
scores doing better in these exams.

While for girls, a relationship between emotional intelligence and their SAT
Science scores was discovered; girls with higher emotional intelligence scores
did better in this exam.

Dr Pamela Qualter, from the University of Central Lancashire, said: "...our
results suggest that emotional intelligence is another key predictor of academic
success. "

One implication of this research is that opportunities to develop students'
emotional intelligence could be a way to improve their educational
achievement.

Resources for improving your (or your child's emotional intelligene):

• Take The EQ (Emotional Intelligence) Course(tm)
• For best results, combine it with individual Emotional Intelligence with Susan Dunn, M.A., The EQ Coach
• Read How to Develop Your Child's Emotional Intelligence

To learn more about emotional intelligence and how to learn it, email me to schedule a free phone consultation - sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Perspective

From the emailbag:

The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he went inside and told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.

Undaunted, she went outside, and in a few minutes, she returned with the lens in her hand.

"How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked.

"We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for$150."

When you increase your emotional intelligence it changes your perspective.

To subscribe to one of my free ezines, go here:
www.susandunn.cc/subscribe.htm

Perspective

Do You Need a Reason to Travel?

Better Health by Traveling
by Jerry Waxman

From today's mailbag, all the way from Israel. Appropos ... Nancy, Hale and I are heading for the Caribbean at yet another stressful time -- the holidays. December 18-22, I'm gettin' outa here!

From the article:

Everywhere you go, whenever you turn on the television, you see and hear reminders that "These are troubled times." Are these messages useful?

The number one remedy: Do some traveling

If you look around, you'll see that stores are still open, and people are still going about their daily routines. And that's how things should be. Part of the routine must include taking a vacation

We may not have much control over how our leaders handle the economy. But we do control how we react. Just because everybody says there is an economic crisis does not mean we have to have a personal crisis.

The best reactions to an economic crisis are either:
1. Find ways to make more money, or
2. Take a vacation, or
3. Both

Excerpts:

A vacation reduces stress. That is the greatest value of a vacation.

Scientists have shown that workers are more productive after a break from routine. Not only laborers, but also managers, executives, and creative professionals notice a surge in productivity after they take a vacation.

The best thing we can do is take a break. Get away for a while.

Everybody around the world ought to take a vacation together. That would not only reduce everybody's stress, it might solve all the world's problems.

Travel for health, for the health of your family, and for the good of your country and the world.

DID I NEED A REASON? Besides, it's the emotionally intelligent thing to do.

Thanksgiving Day Etiquette

THANKSGIVING DAY ETIQUETTE
(I'm repeating here one of my most requested articles. Yes. Emotional intelligence is about etiquette.

The days of dining by plucking fruit from trees and roasting small animals over the fire, eating with fingers, and perhaps fighting with others over the scraps are long gone. Or are they?

More and more we swing our car through the drive-in, grab our food from the window, and proceed to eat with our fingers, so perhaps you need a brush-up on the basics of formal - shall we say "civilized" dining - before the great Thanksgiving feast.

Rules of civilized dining evolved because, according to Margaret Visser ("Rituals of Dinner"), "animals are slaughtered and consumed, the guest-host relationship is ... a complicated interweaving of the imposition of obligation and the suspension of hostility, and the ordinary table knife is related to actual weapons of war."

Utensils were to be handled delicately, so as not to alarm. For instance, the knife was not to be held in the fist, like a weapon, nor pointed threateningly at anyone, and conversation was to be gentle, not provocative.

Now for a review of the basics on how to be the consummate Thanksgiving guest.

1. Respect time.

Arrive on time with a smile on your face and plan to have a good time. Leave on time. If it hasn't been stated, you will have to use your EQ--your intuition. Watch the host.hostess for subtle cues - the more formal the occasion, the more subtle the cues, i.e., changing position in his chair, sighing, and talking about "what a big day we have tomorrow." As you say you must leave, expect protesting, and expect to leave anyway. It's a "formality."

As our visits in the homes of others become more rare, the #1 complaint of hostesses seems to be that the guests won't go home. One woman told me her guests arrived at noon and had to be jettisoned, finally, at 10 p.m. That's not a get-together, that's an ordeal.

2. Wear your uniform. Do your job.

Yes, as the guest you have responsibilities. Dress appropriately and festively, and prepare to make it a happy occasion. Note "make." It doesn't just happen; those in attendance must make it happen. Eat, drink and behave in moderation - and be merry. Leave your problems behind for the day. Focus on what it is -- a day of GRATITUDE.

3. When summoned, obey the summons.

As a long-time PR person, you can't imagine how we appreciate the "leader type" who, when we say, "It's time to take you seats," heads for the dining room and beckons her friends to come along; and when the hostess says, "Shall we retire to the living room for coffee," does the same.

4. Observe protocol.

Age before rank. "Special" people would be the great-grandmother, then if you've invited your boss, or there's a guest of honor. The most special person "sitteth on the right hand" of the host and hostess, who are seated at opposite ends of the table. If there are not place cards, it's appropriate to ask, "Where would you like us to sit?"

5. Once seated, stay awake!

Look to your hostess to lead. At this meal even the most unsuspecting people will say a grace, for instance. The hostess will indicate when to start passing things, and when she starts to eat, you may eat. Facilitate the meal for others - start passing the shared items, the salt and pepper (both go together), the butter, the cranberry sauce, and the gravy.

6. The passing of things.

If your plates are served, then when someone asks for the salt, pick up both the salt and pepper and place them down beside the person next to you. They are not passed hand-to-hand, and only the requesting party may use them. Inefficient? Manners are not about efficiency.

7. Make conversation.

It's an active thing! At a smaller seating, there may be one general conversation; in a larger group, talk with the people across from you and on either side of you. If you're conversation-challenged, work with your coach and come up with a list of conversation-starters, i.e., Did you see that great special on PBS last night? What are your plans for Christmas this year? How was the traffic at the airport? What football team are you rooting for? Start training your children young. Help them come up with a list of things to talk about. They'll love it and feel included.

Your hostess will appreciate if you keep the conversation going, spend some time with the shy people or the octogenarian, and help with awkward silences. At formal dinners, businesses lunches and other dining occasions traditionally when the food is served, everyone starts eating and there's a silence. Someone needs to "break the ice." Plan for this and be prepared with a confident and cheery, "It sure gets quiet when the food comes," or "Marcella, where did you find fresh arugula this time of year?"

8. What about all those utensils and glasses?

The general rule is work from the outside in. Go here to review: http://www.cuisinenet.com/digest/custom/etiquette/manners_intro.shtml

9. Beginnings and endings.

The napkin. When you're seated, place your napkin in your lap. When you're finished, place your utensils on your plate; don't push it away. Place your napkin loosely to the side of your plate.

10. Odds 'n' Ends

Sit upward in your chair; don't lean back. Don't rest your elbows on the table. It's permissible to lean forward slightly and rest part of your upper arm on the table. If you take medication, do it discretely and neither mention it nor notice it in others. Something in your mouth you don't want? The way in is the way out. Spit the olive pit into your palm and place it on your plate. Deposit the turkey bone back on the fork and place in on your plate.

What can you eat with your fingers? Artichokes, plain asparagus, bacon, bread, cookies, corn on the cob, chips, French Fries, hors' d'oeuvres, sandwiches, small fruits, berries, and cubed cheese. When in doubt, wait and see what your hostess does.

And ... while it's important children learn etiquette, it's also important they enjoy themselves. The gravy will come out of the shirt when you wash it - or plan clothes where it doesn't matter so much.

P.S. Be sure and thank the host and hostess when you leave! It's hard work.

Want a quick review? Call or email me with questions and mini-session. sdunn@susandunn.cc, 817-741-7223.

What works when nothing else works?

Video on Emotional Intelligence
David Rakel M.D.

What we pay attention to, grows.



What heals? Love.
What do you say? See clip from Little Miss Sunshine.
2nd biggest cause of heart disease - stress. An emotion that is physical.
Touching that which gives life meaning.
Job of doctor - to help you define your absolute.

Spirit is the life
Touch hearts as well as minds
Love what you teach. The topic doesn't matter as much as your passion and love.

Good stuff!

What Good is Anger?

What Good is Anger?

It motivates ... it gives us information ... it can keep us safe ...





To take the most sophisticated ANGER MANAGEMENT COURSE available, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for information about The EQ Course/Anger Management.

Only if you're serious about stopping this behavior that undermines your relationships, your self-esteem, your health, and your success in life.

The Presidency and Emotional Intelligence

Is the emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) of the president important? This is an important question to consider as the election approaches.

From the Cherry Hill Courier Post:

It seems to me that this election has caused several political divides that have changed into a consensus due to recent events. The issue is the fact that the public more than ever is not just looking for leadership in a broad sense, they are looking into the emotional intelligence of a leader. Will this new president provide a stable administration based as much on common sense as well as real knowledge about broad-based issues affecting our economy and our place in the world? This seems to be an awesome task for our candidates to live up to, so this has changed much of the criteria for the job. Moreover, since our country has had an economic disaster within a short period of time, people are looking to a visionary leader who can solve the problems in the here and now, as well as for future generations. Some people are realizing the presidency needs to be filled by someone who is more of a strategist than a politician.

From Community editorial board members on America's political divide. To read the whole article, go here.

Email me for programs, coaching and Internet courses on emotional intelligence (EQ).

How to Create Something Grand

From today's emailbag. As we approach the dead of winter, think about what might make a spring like this for you. The woman who did this, tells us how. And what a gift to the world.

The Daffodil Principle

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, 'Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over.'

I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead 'I will come next Tuesday', I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

'Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!'

My daughter smiled calmly and said, 'We drive in this all the time, Mother.'

'Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!' I assured her.

'But first we're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks,' Carolyn said. 'I'll drive. I'm used to this.'

'Carolyn,' I said sternly, 'Please turn around.'

'It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience.'

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, 'Daffodil Garden.'

We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.

It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

'Who did this?' I asked Carolyn.

'Just one woman,' Carolyn answered. 'She lives on the property. That's her home.' Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.

On the patio, we saw a poster headlined:

'Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking'

1. '50,000 bulbs

2. 'One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain.'
3. 'Began in 1958.'

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience.

I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.

That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time--often just one baby-step at time--and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world . .

'It makes me sad in a way,' I admitted to Carolyn. 'What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!'

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. 'Start tomorrow,' she said.

She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, 'How can I put this to use today?'

Use the Daffodil Principle.

Stop waiting .
Until your car or home is paid off

Until you get a new car or home

Until your kids leave the house Until you go back to school

Until you finish school

Until you clean the house

Until you organize the garage

Until you clean off your desk

Until you lose 10 lbs.

Until you gain 10 lbs.

Until you get married Until you get a divorce

Until you have kids

Until the kids go to school

Until you retire

Until summer Until spring

Until winter

Until fall

Until you die...

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So . . .
Work like you don't need money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like no one's watching.

Use Emotional Intelligence to Win in the Stock Market

USE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TO WIN IN THE STOCK MARKET

Emotional Intelligence helps you play the stock market and win.

From Business Day -- "Street Dogs: The winning traits of market wizards" -- to read the whole article go here: Business Day - News Worth Knowing

Fenton-O’Creevy, who studied 118 professional traders for several European investment banks, found that successful traders tend to be emotionally stable introverts who are open to new experiences.

Trading coach Brett Steenbarger says his study of 64 traders demonstrates ... “one important lesson: success in trading is related to the ability to stay consistent and plan-driven."

Consultants at Market Psychology Consulting, a US firm that coaches market traders, found that the following characteristics produce superior results:

n Low emotional reactivity: Emotional stability is considered crucial, especially during periods of market turbulence. In one study [they] measured traders’ heart rate, blood pressure, and skin conductance while trading and found that more experienced traders had less physiological reactivity to information surprises.

n Low illusion of control and a belief in the occurrence of chance events.

n Low overconfidence: Referring to a misappraisal of one’s foresight, talent, and abilities as being better than they really are.

n High Self-discipline: As it relates to how we manage our impulses. Self-disciplined people are better able to control and channel their impulses towards goals.

n Self-awareness: In the sense of an enhanced consciousness of one’s own physical and emotional state. Additionally, self-aware individuals often have logical reasoning behind their choices and behaviour. Self-awareness is also one of the key traits of individuals who have high emotional intelligence.

If you would like to increase your self-awareness and emotional intelligence, and WIN, email me for coaching, sdunn@susandunn.cc. Take THE EQ COURSE for better emotional intelligence, stability and self-awareness.

Eat Right - Avoid These Foods over the Holidays (or ever)

Emotional Intelligence is about wellness - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

I just got back from a cruise to New England and Canada on the Norwegian Majesty. Eating on a cruise, it isn't easy to control your calorie intake, but I did okay. Even making it through the Midnight Chocolate Buffet. Only gained a pound or two, and it's already off.

As the holidays approach, lets take a look at the physical. LifeScript has provided us with the list of the 10 Worst Foods you can eat. We are cautioned again about how many Americans are overweight or obese. Go here to read more.

1. Chips

One ounce of potato chips has 152 calories and 10 grams of fat (3 grams of which are artery-clogging saturated fat). If you munch on a one-ounce handful three times a week, in one year you will have added 23,400 calories to your diet and about seven pounds to your waistline. And remember, that’s just one small handful – much less than most adults snack on at a time.

2. Non-Dairy Topping

3. Doughnuts

4. Fettuccine Alfredo (that's a no-brainer)

5. Sausages

6. Fried Chicken

7. Imitation Cheese in a Can

8. French Fries

9. Spongy White Bread ("You might as well eat a candy bar," they say.)

10. Fried Wontons

They suggest the tried and true - if you want to lose weight just take in less calories. Here is their link for you to test how calorie-conscious you are.

How Halloween Evolved

HALLOWEEN History - Diversity in action

Halloween began as an ancient Celtic ceremony called Sawhain. It was the Celts' major celebration, a festival of the dead but also the beginning of winter.

It was time for them to harvest their crops and store them, and round up the cattle and sheep and move them in closer. They believed at this time the ghosts of the dead mingled with the living. I think this is archetypal (in our bones) because things are dying this time of year. Plants are dying, leaves fall off the trees ...

Others think it was the harvest, why keep it to yourself, invite all your ancestors and dearly departed to join in.

Sawhain was exactly 6 weeks after the Autumnal Equinox and 6 weeks before the Winter Solstice. In other words, right in between the two.

Now here's how one tradition developed. It was New Year's, a new beginning. Cold, too, so they'd have a fire. Someone from each household would be sent to collect embers from the community fire for the fire in their own home. The easiest way to carry home the coals was in a hollowed out turnip, sometimes with a carved face on it to scare away evil spirits.

Why some of the traditions?

This is from bigchill.net:

Apples ... Find out the identity of a future spouse by cutting an apple in half around the middle and eating half the apple in front of a mirror at midnight on Halloween. Your intended's face will appear.

Cakes and sweets are also essential. Ghosts are especially benevolent towards children and everyone knows that the best way to lure children to the table is with sweet stuff. Combine the cakes and the apples with apple tarts or warming apple crumble or caramel apples.

Anyway, the Celts were celbrating Sawhain and then the Christian missionaries arrived to convert them to Christianity. In one of the sanest edicts I've read, Pope Gregory I issued an edict that it was to be done this way: the missionaries should not obliterate the native religion, but rather use it. If they found the Celts worshipped a tree, they should not cut it down, but rather consecrate it to Christ, and let the worship continue. Christian holidays were also set to coincide with local holy days. All Saints Day was assigned November 1st and meant to substitute for Sawhain, but still it continued. Jack Santino says, “The powerful symbolism of the traveling dead was too strong, and perhaps too basic to the human psyche, to be satisfied with the new, more abstract Catholic feast honoring saints.”

The Church tried again in the 8th century, naming November 2nd as All Soul’s Day, but Sawhain continued, and with time, All Hallows Eve (the night before) became Hallowe’en. People began to dress in costume to seek gifts of food and drink, which had originally been set out to appease spirits, and to masquerade as spirits, and our traditions of Halloween evolved.

There’s a lesson in multiculturalism here; a way to change culture and blend beliefs and traditions. “Worship” was the constant in the equation, and dealing with dark spirits, which they kept and modified. The new was accommodated without changing the old too much. Remember this when you’re changing a household or office custom. It's an emotionally intelligent way to do things.

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LOVE POEM OF ALL

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LOVE POEM OF ALL

This is the most beautiful love poem I've ever read. I got it from Nancy Fenn's blog. Check out her blog HERE. It's the hottest blog on the net.

You've no idea how hard I've looked for a gift to bring You.
Nothing seemed right.
What's the point of bringing gold to the gold mine, or water to the Ocean?
Everything I came up with was like taking spices to the Orient.
It's no good giving you my heart and soul because you already have these.
So - I've brought you a mirror.
Look at yourself and remember me.

--Jalaluddin Rumi

The Top 10 Dumbest Things Heard on the Cruise Ship

The Top 10 Dumbest Things Heard on the Cruise Ship

We were at the disembarkation meeting - a sure crowd pleaser - on the Norwegian Majesty, and the cruise director wanted to start off giving us a good laugh. So he told us the top 10 things they'd been asked on the cruise ship by passengers.

Get ready ...

10. Will I get wet on the SCUBA excursion?

9. How far above sea level are we?

8. Do these stairs go up or down?

7. Will this elevator take me to the front of the ship?

6. What floor is Deck 7 on?

5. What time is the midnight buffet?

4. What do you do with the ice sculptures after they melt?

3. Does the crew sleep on the ship? (The cruise director couldn't help himself on this one. He added, "No, we air vac them in every morning at 5 am for your breakfast, because it's cheaper that way.")

#2 and #1 - I can't remember ... and could I make one up? No way on earth.

10 Important Safety Tips for Halloween

HALLOWEEN SAFETY ALERT from the EQ Coach: Four times more children are killed in pedestrian/automobile accidents on Halloween night than on any other night of the year.

10 Important Safety Tips for Halloween
by Susan Dunn, MA, Professional Coach

Halloween is an exciting night for children and a
busy time for their parents. With such
excitement, it's easy for children to forget
basic safety rules.

When emotions are running high, it's a good time
to remember to "use your head." Plan ahead and
plan to have a safe Halloween. Raise safety
awareness with your family before the festivities
begin. We do the right thing, but we don't always
explain it to children. As you place a saucer
under each tea light, or "stop, look and listen"
at street corners and in parking lots, tell your
child why. They don't always connect the dots
unless you point it out.

HERE ARE SOME HALLOWEEN
SAFETY TIPS TO KEEP IN MIND:

1. Stay sober and alert

It's amazing how many family Halloween
celebrations involve adults drinking. It's
impossible to monitor children's safety or your
own when you've had too much to drink, so don't.

2. Avoid cuts and burns when decorating

Carving the pumpkin, placing luminaria in the
driveway, and hanging spooky skeletons all
present opportunities for injury. If you're
decorating with candles, observe fires safety.
Have a good fire extinguisher handy and make sure
everyone knows where it is.

3. Observe ladder safety regulations

According to the NASD, accidents involving
ladders cause an estimated 300 death a year in
the US, and 130,000 injuries requiring medical
attention. Go here to read about how to use a
ladder properly.

4. Make sure "treats" aren't "tricks"

Many people these days choose to go to fairs or
private parties instead of trick or treating for
safety reasons. If your child is going trick or
treating, go with them. Make it a rule that
nothing is to be eaten until it's first been
inspected by you.

5. Caution your child about strangers and dogs

Keep your children with you and remind them to
avoid people and dogs they don't know. Many
people are taking their dog companions out in
costume these days, and even the most gentle of
family pets can do something unexpected with all
the excitement.

6. Accidental falls is the number one cause of
injuries on Halloween night (National Safety
Council).

Choose your child's costume with this in mind.
Hem up the hemlines. If you choose a mask, choose
one that doesn't obstruct sight. Stay sober and
observe safety rules when decorating.

7. Four times more children are killed in
pedestrian/automobile accidents on Halloween
night than on any other night of the year.

The CDC suggests these factors make it a high
risk: short stature, inability to react quickly
enough to avoid a car or evaluate a potential
traffic threat, lack of impulse control, and all
the exciting distractions.

8. The holiday syndrome

The excitement, more candy, more parties, less
sleep, less nutritious food, and getting off
schedule all mean less attentiveness and also
possibly illness. Keep routines as normal as you
can. Add to the above, a visit from Granny who
has heart pills in her purse, and you have the
recipe for a tragedy. Pay attention!


9. Choose safe and sensible costumes

Choose fire retardant costumes that allow
children free movement and good visibility. Be
careful about accessories. Even toy knives and
swords can cause harm. Give each child a
flashlight.


10. Set a good example

Show that you care about safety and make it a top
priority.



(c)Susan Dunn, www.susandunn.cc,
mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .
Susan is the author of "Developing
Your Child's EQ" and other ebooks, available at
www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html.
She offers individual coaching, Internet courses,
and seminars for your personal and professional
development. She trains and certifies coaches
(no residency requirement). Email for information.

Acadia National Forest, Bar Harbor Maine, an EQ Tale of Trial by Fire

Bar Harbor Maine
Acadia National Forest - an EQ Tale of Trial by Fire


"Rustification" it was called, when the very wealthy came to Bar Harbor Maine and Maine's Mount Desert Island, a little under 200 air miles Boston, to spend their summers. One of these was the philanthropist John D. Rockefeller, Jr., who contributed along with many other people (including the tens of thousands of volunteers who care for it today), to developing and preserving Acadia National Park.


At 47,000 acres, Acadia National Park it's one of our smallest, yet one of the most visited. From these photos, you will see why.

MAP OF ACADIA NATIONAL FOREST
From our cruise to Bar Harbor (and beyond)

Map of Acadia, Map created by en:User:Aude


At first, the forest looked like this (evergreens), though it included the granite ledges of the Schoodic Peninsula across Frenchman Bay, and a number of smaller offshore islands, notably Isle au Haut in the Gulf of Maine. But Mount Desert is where most of it is. It contained more than 20 lakes and ponds, and an extensive network of gravel carriage trails, 17 granite bridges, and two gate lodges, thanks to the Rockefellers, most of which is there today.

Here is what it looked like back then:



Or perhaps even a tree of color here and there, like this:

THE GREAT MAINE FIRE OF 1947

Then, on October 17, 1847 a fire broke out, during a dry year, that destroyed much of Maine's forests, including 10,000 acres of Acadia National Park. Now here's the miracle. As is nature's way, the regrowth, allowed to occur naturally, included a host of maples and other colored trees, changing the appearance entirely, and for the better, most of us would say.

If you have gone through a "trial by fire" and find yourself to be, shall we say, more colorful, more enriched, more beautiful, you can relate to this, for this is what we see today, "after the great fire."





Our trip to Bar Harbor included a tour of the Acadia National Forest, ending in a lobster bake at Bar Harbor Inn.

Having grown up in the Mid West, the sights and scents and sounds of fall are manna to my soul.

All hail the Maine Lobster!

Our New England/Canada Fall Foliage Cruise on NCL's the Norwegian Majesty was a spetacular success. Next time we visit Saint John, Bay of Fundy. Stay tuned.