How to Talk to a Woman - LBJ talks to Jackie Kennedy

Lyndon G. Johnson (LBJ) pushed through a lot of important legislation. If you listen to his tapes, which are available on youtube.com you will get an idea of behind-the-scenes, and what a great persuader he was.

And if you listen to his conversation with Jackie Kennedy, gentlemen, you will see how he was able to "seduce" people to do what he wanted. He was just "flirting" - he mentions his wife, mother, sister. But these are the things most women tell me they want to hear. And especially that you have time for your lady.

Look here.

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Matters

This could be the most important article your read this year about emotional intelligence, love, relationships, dating, and success.

What the science of human nature can teach us: newyorker.com

Need to interview people over 50 who are dating

We are preparing to write the most extensively researched book on Dating After 50 yet. This is a very complicated issue - dating after 50 - and we intend to interview 100s more people about what works and what doesn't, what they mean when they say "blah blah", how to tell who just wants sex v. who wants marriage v. some sort of relationship but no committment. We all wish people would wear labels!

We've already intereviewed 100s of men and women, but we will continue gathering data until time off publication. This is not a fabricated book about what we think, or wish, or imagine it's like. We are gathering HARD DATA so you can finally get some information about what really workss -- and what doesn't.

We will show you exactly how to interpret it when a man says, "LTR not necessary" or "my wife used to beat me," or "Let's start as friends and see what develops."

Email me NOW is you are willing to be interviewed, anonymously or otherwise - sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Losing Your Composure

Here it is again, in some advice about dating men. This is about the emotional intelligence competency of self-awareness.

Yes, it's bad enough to lose your composure, but it's really bad to lose your composure and have no idea why. This particularly comes up in pressure situations such as job interviews, relationships discussions, and dating.

If you find yourself losing your composure
too often, letting your emotions take over and
regretting it too often after the fact... and
you're starting to recognize that not all of
what you're doing and choosing to do with a man
is totally CONSCIOUS... then it's time you took
the time and the steps to take care of what's
going on INSIDE YOU first.

If you'd like to increase your COMPOSURE, you need to increase the emotional intelligence competency of self-awareness. Let me coach you. Call me at 817-734-1471 or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc and let's get started now. I am a certified EQ (emotional intelligence) coach.

The Erotic Love Letter

Bright Star - first love burns brightest? "Together they rode a wave of romantic obsession."

As someone who coaches people of all ages, and is also a Dating Coach, I would like to say that maybe the last love burns even brighter. Perhaps like a star moving on?

From a kids' astronomy site:

There are several different kinds of stars in the sky. Some are very big. A couple have been found that are 100 to 200 times bigger than the sun. At the end of their lives these large stars can stretch themselves out past the orbit of the planet Uranus.

If you are an older person in love, and feel like you are stretching out past the orbit of the planet Uranus, think of this compared to Keats writing that he felt he was "dissolving."

Keats agreed to teach Fanny Brawne poetry ... and a love affair began. The movie critics have noted that while it is "only words," the movie is "incredibly erotic."

They're having a contest for love letters. I love it because (1) you can enter a hand-written love letter OR (2) a tweet.

Enter and win! Love and win! If you're afraid to love, feel like you're holding back, have a commitment-thing, or just need dating coaching, email me - sdunn@susandunn.cc. I specialized in helping singles over 40 find their True Love. I coach by email, phone, and in my office in the D.C. area.

Finding your Soulmate

I am often asked about soulmates.

This is a question that is often asked psychics and astrologers too, as we all quest for love. To a coach, a person might ask for a "soul mate" or "someone who is perfect for me."

I think Skye's discussion about soul-mates is good. She recommends this instead of looking for a Soul-mate:

Change your definition of soulmate. Call to yourself someone who is open and real. Call to yourself someone who is genuine and capable of love on a real everyday level in a real everyday world where people get up and go to work and pay bills. Call to yourself someone who knows how to show and express their love without manipulation and head games. Call forth a forever kind of love. Call forth a best friend that you can sit with in your rocking chair on the front porch when you are too old to make love anymore. Call someone who loves you enough to kick you in the butt when you are screwing up. Call forth someone who will shout from the rooftop when you are deserving of praise too. Call forth someone who is a loyal and faithful lover willing to learn and grow with you behind closed doors. Leave the rest to fate. Don’t define them.

"Call to yourself," is good. It's about the Law of Attraction.

But let's talk for a minute about making lists when you are dating or looking for "the right woman/man."

Many coaches want their clients to make a list of what they want in a mate, who they're looking for. I recommend it too, but probably not in the way you might think.

I think having a list works well for values, lifestyle, intelligence and some basics (like good grooming, which I think we all would want, wouldn't we?). Also things like wanting kids or not wanting kids -- issues around which there isn't a compromise -- it's a "yes" or a "no." But the trouble comes when you get too specific, especially about PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

For instance here's a list I got from Amy:

I want a man who's:
Medium height
30 years old
Brown hair
Brown eyes
Curly hair
Muscular build, like a weight lifter or professional athlete
Medium complexion

Well, I think this leaves a lot to be desired. What if "Amy" met a man who was blond that had all the important things that Skye talks about above? What if she met a man who was 31 or 32?

Physical characteristics may cause initial attraction, but, as we coaches say, "That's not love, that's something else."

And as far as physical characteristics go, here's an interesting point. According to studies, the one that applies the most -- get ready for this -- is the person's third finger.

Go figure.

One of Life's Most Emotional Events: The First Date

DATING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE


Dating and Emotional Intelligence.

An article on arxlove.com caught my eye. It was titled Emotional Intelligence and Dating and it has some good advice.

The writer talks about the first date. Lets say you met online, then did the email, then moved to telephone, and now it's time to meet him or her in person, for the very first date.

Of course it's an easy time for a flareup of nerves. (Think of it as excitement, not fear, LOL). In fact many of my clients call me just before they leave for a last-minute pump up and it's for sure I'd include the point they make in this article:

"...having higher levels of self awareness and the assurance to take charge of things and correcting yourself before the situation attacks you. THIS is what is called being emotionally intelligent."

You can work yourself up into a case of nerves, or something can happen that makes you upset, or both! I can think of any number of things, I'm sure you can too! A run in the pantyhose, knocking your drink over, spilling salad oil on your sill blouse, forgetting your cell phone and that's how you were to locate each other on the Riverwalk, getting caught in traffic and being late. One of my clients broke the heel of her shoe as she entered the restaurant. Another client's boss kept him late in a meeting and he was a sweaty mess by the time he got to the rendezvou.

So you must know how to recover from these things so that you can make the best self-presentation and give this very important First Date a real chance. In the article the scenario is that she was held up in traffic and late. This was the recommendation:

"In such situations, if you are disturbed by something mentally before meeting your date, it is important to gather yourself and collect your thoughts before facing him. Talk to yourself or take a few deep breaths so that you calm down. Even if he seems a bit annoyed when you meet him, your personality should be such that your assurance and warmth as a person just leaves him awe of you. Giving a genuine smile and a warm hug would have completely distracted him and within no time, your conversation would have hit the pleasant grounds!"

Yes, it's about handling your emotions under stress. And what's more stressful than a first date??!!?? Let me help you with coaching. It's no joke that you make a great showing because The First Date is crucial.

It's also important how you handle your emotions AFTER the first date. Yes, it's sad when there isn't any chemistry there, but it's almost worse when you hit it off! You're head is spimning and you do something like leave your purse on the table, try and exit through the wrong door, babble incoherently, reach to give her a kiss and miss your mark, or, like one client told me happened when the guy she met really fell for her -- he drove off the wrong way down the street and she drove past as a cop was giving him a ticket! Talk about embarassing.

For dating coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc or call me at 817-741-7223. Coaching by phone, email, IM or in person (in the Dallas area).

P.S. If you're the kind who starts to babble and say things you wish you weren't let me coach you on some opening lines, conversation starters and other ways to get a leash on it and make a great impression!

Do you find dating impossible??

I specialize in helping men and women over 40 find their dream partner.

The Top 10 Ways to Succeed at Internet Dating

1. Hire a dating coach.

He or she can save you literally years in the learning curve. Imagine the experience of listening to hundreds of people dating online (and traditional).

2. Choose a name that describes but isn't offensive, aggressive or too sex-oriented.

Brightgirl is good. Boner69 is not. HappyguyinMA is good. Hotgirl is not. (Taken from actual websites.)

3. Keep your emails short and to the point.

This indicates you're interested in dating, not writing.

4. Don't answer flirts and winks

and don't expect yours to be answered. When you're ready to get serious you'll do it right.

5. Move it quickly from email to phone to real date.

Times a-wasting.

6. Up your rejection quotient.

All good sales people know that when the rejections go up, you're about to score. Don't give up, just keep at it.

7. Get a good photo.

It should be current, tasteful and clear. Guys, don't go in the bathroom take off your shirt and hold your cell phone up in front of the mirror. (Yes, there are many like that on the net.) Close up shots with nature backgrounds, or interesting locations (hotel lobby) seem to work best.

8. Change your profile weekly.

This brings you to the attention of searchers; that's just the way the sites work.

9. Investigate different sites.

There's something out there for every interest group, nationality, etc. Read through the profiles and see if it's got the kind of people on it you're interested in.

10. Reveal enough, not too much. We all like a little mystery. (Gals, guys especially like the mystery!)

There are sites that are free, and sites you pay for. Basically speaking, you get what you pay for.



EMAIL ME FOR DATING COACHING - sdunn@susandunn.cc or call me at 817-741-7223. I have coached hundreds of people, internationally. I also train and certify other coaches, so come and learn from the coach who teaches the other coaches.





INTERNET DATING A SPECIALITY. It's the way to go in today's dating world. Let me show you the ropes. I have specific rules that work. Many examples, lots of experience. I can save you time, energy and money.





It's an investment in your future.

Dating Online?

Dating coaching can save you a lot of time, because you can learn from the mistakes of others. So why not email me (sdunn@susandunn.cc) or give me a call - 817-741-7223 and invest in some dating coaching NOW. I coach both men and women ... so imagine all the experience you can learn from.

Article of interest ... Queensland University finds "online daters lack caution"

From the article:

"The social disinhibition that online interactions allow means some people are carried away by their feelings and don't use their heads as they would in normal social situations when meeting people."

Dr Bambling said has seen people in counselling regarding the
consequences of making emotional investments in people they had been emailing after meeting them on line.

"They often become quickly emotionally involved and invest in the other person before meeting. After meeting they move too fast because an emotional relationship actually started when they began interacting online before meeting, in which time they build up a fantasy view of the other person," he said.

"When they do meet, often the other person is not always what they had imagined but if they are already emotionally invested they go out anyway.
______________

This is why I recommend you move quickly from email, to phone, to a Real Date. It saves a lot of time in the long run. It saves you from throwing good money after bad, so-to-speak.

Want to know more? Get in touch with me when you're ready for some serious dating, with serious results.

How To Decide Who to Marry

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

Well, here's what some kids had to say.

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan , age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen , age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille , age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick , age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori , age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette , age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin , age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -- Craig , age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.-- Pam , age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - - Curt , age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -- Howard , age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita , age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. -- Ricky , age 10

Dating for Shy Guys

Dating for Shy Guys

"Language is a behavior potentially under our control," says the article, "and a powerful loop. Its how we act upon the world, and how the world acts upon us. Its how we express our thoughts and feelings, and it also influences our thoughts and feelings. This includes what we say to ourselves as well as what others say to us. Barring physical force, language is how we get what we want."

Some of the Tips:
1. Manage your self-talk about women.
2. Manage your self-talk about dating.
3. Manage your language when you're out.
4. Overgeneralization.
5. Polarized Thinking.

For the rest of the article, go here: the oryal beatty

Clues He's Interested in You

I've been chosen ATTRACT YOUR DREAM PARTNER for a major website. In the mailbag every day are questions -- Does he like me? What does this mean? Why does she do this?

One of the most confusing thing people do (both men and women), when they are interested in someone, is to ignore them. This is treating you differently and special, if you think about it. Sometimes you're at a meeting or party, and the guy that's been flirting with you all of a sudden just goes blank, and it's like he isn't there.

It is Sign #3 in this person's article:

Sign #3: He ignores you at odd times: If he is unsure about how you feel about him, he may actually try ignoring you at certain times. He may be nervous about what to say, or he could be afraid that you will catch a glimpse in his eyes of how he really feels about you.

I think it is also a natural reaction, for men, especially - when they aren't sure of themselves and what they're doing, they do nothing.

More from this article:

Are you actively flirting with a guy you see frequently buthaving trouble knowing for sure whether he might want to get together? It can be frustrating not knowing whether he may feel the same way as you do. Wouldn't it be great to be able to read his mind? While that may not be possible, there are a number of telltale signs that he is probably very interested.

Here are 7 of those signs: Sign #1: He uses your name often when he speaks to you: If helikes you, your name is literally music to his ears and he willwant to say it often. It makes him feel good to say your name.

Sign #2: He tends to brush up against or touch you: Those little innocent brushes in the hallway or light touches on theshoulder at your desk are not by accident. They are ways of being closer to you and are a prelude to more intimate physicaltouching.

For the rest of the article go HERE.

About The Author: Want to bring that special person back into your life? Here is a guide that has helped many others like you to fall in love again: http://www.Earth-Matters.com/

Susan is a Dating Coaching, with specialty on the latest, and Internet dating. For a free mini-session, email her at sdunn@susandunn.cc and mention this offer.

Getting coaching for yourself is one of the most important things you will ever do!

About to give up on dating? Now there's help.

Dating and about to give up?? Now there's help. DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN written by an expert.

There's nothing like experience. I've heard the same things over and over, so I know what works and what doesn't in the dating arena. In interviewed hundreds of women in order to produce a manual that can help.

Let me make this easy for you.

Don't give up! Now there's help.

DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN*by Susan Dunn, MA
Attract Your Ideal Partner (and keep him) Expert

Are you trying to date and getting sick of the runaround? I serve as Attract Your Dream Partner EXPERT for a major website. I know what you you're going through. That's why I wrote this book. I consistently get rated "beat of the best" and have 10s in all categories - advice knowledge, expertise, promptness and courtesy.

Now let me share with you what I've found out. Order DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN - newly revised using information gathered from my experience helping women find, attract and keep the man of their dreams.

*special section on Internet dating -- the odds are in your favor, ladies, when you date on the Internet -- provided you know what you're doing. We show you how.

Coaching available as well, mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc . It really helps.

What personal life coaching can do for you

Susan Dunn Personal Coaching

When you're ready for Dunn personal coaching, you're ready to make some serious changes in your life. Coaching isn't just for pro sports figures, and CEOs making 6 figures -- it's for anyone who wants success, in professional or personal life.

With Susan Dunn Personal Life Coaching you can make the strides you've been eager to. Now is the time. But just like sports training and working out, you have to have the right equipment and the right team backing you all the way. That's why there's Susan Dunn's Personal Life coaching.


You can achieve more than you thought possible when you have the right combination going for you. It's like a body makeover, you'll discover muscles you never had and build strength where you really need it. It doesn't matter where you live, we have coached clients worldwide (just to name a few - India Singapore, all over the US, Scotland, Wales, the UK, Malaysia, the Phillipines, China and more).


WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT


A clear path and strategy
Importan feedback
The support and resources you need
Email support at your finger tips, Internet and phone
No contract
Unlike trying to do this on your own, you get the feedback that makes the difference
You might not be a celebrity -- yet -- but you can treat yourself like one.
You don't have to waste your time in traffic - enjoy all the benefits from the privacy of your own home of office

Sign up now. Call for a personal consultation to see if Personal Life Coaching with Susan Dunn is for you. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc or call (817) 734-1471.


Susan's website is: http://www.susandunn.cc/ .


Susan's company provides personal life coaching - career and personal life, emotional intelligence, resilience, wholeness, wellness, balance, parenting -- worldwide, at your convenience. Give it a try.

Dating Success Manual for Women

At last there's help.











DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN*
by Susan Dunn, MA
Attract Your Ideal Partner (and keep him) Expert



Are you trying to date and getting sick of the runaround? I serve as Attract Your Dream Partner EXPERT for a major website. I know what you're going through because I've listened to hundreds of women trying to figure out what they're doing wrong who were ready to give up. This ebook provides the guidance you need to make a success of it.


There's nothing like experience. I've heard the same things over and over, so I know what does not work, and what does work. Let me make it easy for you.


Don't give up! Now there's help.


Order DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN - newly revised using information gathered from my experience helping women find, attract and keep the man of their dreams.



*special section on Internet dating -- the odds are in your favor, ladies, when you date on the Internet -- provided you know what you're doing. We show you how.

Susan is Attract your dream mate expert for a major website. She is consistently ratef "best of the best" with 10s in all cetegories. She has interviewed hundreds of woman in order to create this book so you can really get help.

Prince William and Kate Together Again?

Prince William, girlfriend reunited? - omg

Emotional Intelligence is about setting appropriate limits and the Royal House of Windsor has always been good at showing us how to do this.

In this case, we'd love to know if WIlliam and Kate and back together again, but William's offical spokeswoman declined comment.

"We don't discuss William's private life," she said. "It's a matter for him." She also remained anonymouse. in line with policy.

The couple appears to be getting back together, with what the article called a series of casual dates.

Want to know how to navigate dating after divorce. Order MIDLIFE DATING SURVIVAL MANUAL FOR WOMEN. Appropriate for anyone dating after divorce.
___________________________________________________________________
Lost love? Want to know what's happening? Contact Master Psychic Semiramis,
semiramis/appiamo@hotmail.com . Semiramis reunites couples. "She'll be expecting you."

We're Just Friends but I Want More

CHECK OUT MY LATEST TOP TEN, www.topten.org

As an Attract Your Ideal Man coach, and expert for a major website, most of the questions I get fall into one of several predicatable groups. One of them is similiar to this letter.

Dear Susan:

We've been friends for years. I'm 30 and he's 35. I think we have a great relationship - lots of laughs and good times and we get along great. The trouble is I've fallen in love with him. I've never said anything. I want more. What can I do? Hint? Flirt more? I don't want to ruin the friendship, but I'm in love with this man. Please help.

Signed: Confused

Dear Confused:

If there's one truth in this world it is this: If the man wants "more" in a relationship, he will go for it -- no matter his age, "shyness," your situation, your attitude, your marital state, the nature of your current 'relationship,' or anything else.

I don't know if you are male or female, it doesn't matter, but this situation you describe takes place in offices all across the nation every day -- she's in love with her boss (or co-worker) and doesn't know...she thinks he does nothing because it's work, he's married, blah blah ...
________________________________________
Since I get to hear from so many people, here's how it works and these happen to be true stories with names changed, except for the last two.

1. 1. Mary wanted a divorce.

She went to Tom, a married divorce lawyer for professional help. Tom said, within 10 mins. and to her utter surprise: "I'm referring you to someone else because I want to date you."

2. Shereen was seeing a psychologist for whatever (in one of those states where you can 'date' a client once they aren't your client).

In the third session he told her he was terminating the therapy and referring her to another psycholigist because he wanted go have an intimate relationship with her. (He is the ethical type.)

3. Nancy had been in love with her boss, Larry, for 3 months, but #1, he was married, and #2, she needed her job and the policy manual said ...

In the 4th month, Larry asked her out on a date with direct innuendo. Nancy said "What about my job?" Larry said, "What about your job?"

4. Alicia is happily married.

She also can't stand a certain male client who had done some clumsy flirting. She ignored him. She managed to be away when she knew he was coming, assigned her part of the contract to her partner, wouldn't answer the phone if she knew it was he. Alicia had given him no encouragement, in fact quite the opposite. He tracked down her home phone number and asked her out.

5. Dr. John, an Ob.Gyn, put the move on Sandra during a physical exam.

He then left his wife of 25 years, and put his practice into jeopardy.

6. Samantha and Ted had been great friends for a year.

Samantha liked it that way. Ted wasn't her type. She had her eye on Roberto. Samantha and Ted went to the movies on Sunday nights. One Sunday night, to her complete surprise and horror, he reached over and touched her breast and then tried to plant a kiss on her.

7. Tiphany was a high-powered executive.

She hired Frank to be her secretary, file clerk and go-pher. The distance between their ages, rank, education, income and everything else was truly unsurmountable - from the outside, anyway. However, the first time she asked Frank to drive her to the airport, and they were, therefore, out of the office, he put the move on her.

8. Bill CLinton, married and the president of the United States of America, had an intern ...

9. The heir to the throne of England fell in love with a commoner. To marry her, he would have to abdicate the throne.

He did.

IN SUM: Unethical or ethical, disgusting or classy, appropriate or walking the line, interested in marriage or just sex, men don't let the grass grow under their feet when they want to "date" a woman. They aren't shy about it (no matter how timid they appear in other situations); they don’t care if they have a fiduciary relationship with her; they don’t care about anyone’s marital state; they don’t care about the policy manual; and they don’t care whether they and the woman are currently "friends", work colleagues, in direct work competition, or anything else. They could care less about "hints," "encouragement," or "flirting."

THAT'S WHY WE SOMETIMES CALL THEM "CLUELESS", BTW.

If he wanted something different with you, you would know it because he would take action.

(Incidentally, I have also heard from women who did take action with a guy like the one you describe, and got the guy to marry them, and down the line it doesn't work out. If he'd been interested and male, he would've taken action. If he didn't, but gave in, the woman is some kind of consolation prize, duty, last resort or something else you don't ever want to be.)

WORD: When a man wants something, he takes action and you don’t have to do a thing except defend yourself if you don’t want it.

Enjoy the friendship and attract another male who's interested in you that way. You'll know it by how he acts.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About the Submitter
This piece was submitted by Susan Dunn, Dating Coach, MA, Clinical Psychology, Founding Member of Coachville, Professional Coach - Dating, Life, Career, EQ, who can be reached at sdunn@susandunn.cc, or visited on the web at www.susandunn.cc.

Susan Dunn wants you to know that she offers individual coaching, Internet courses, ebooks and seminars. She serves as attract your ideal man on a major website, and has been a frequent lecturer on cruises. She also trains and certifies coaches worldwide in a long-distance, affordable, effective program. Email her for more information.

Shy Guys Can Get the Girl

My articles are appearing today on these sites:

Step-Parenting Problems at the Holidays: Article: "Step-Parenting Problems at the Holidays," by Susan Dunn, MA, Professional Life Coach Dear EQ Coach: My husband...Parenting problems - http://masterofyourblog.com/blogs/parenting-problems/

Criminal El Paso County RecordsBy boceqomedir: Article, "How Shy Guys Can Succeed," by Susan Dunn, MA, THE EQ COACH. I coach men how to succeed with women. We offer complete services to prepare you to meet, ...gebisuwip - http://gebisuwip.blogspot.com/index.html

Personal Coaching Offers, Susan Dunn MA. Personal career emotional and executive coaching nationwide. Jobs Home Job Search MI Grand Rapids Target Target Stores ...Blog dot com - http://dotcom.blogsome.com

Destructive Natural AgentBy markh: Article,
Planting New Seeds for Your Life in the Spring," by Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, GLOBAL EQ. Herb Garden - http://freeblogs.blogs-4-free.com/HerbGarden.blog

"Shy Guys Can,"
by Susan Dunn.

Anne and I know a shy guy -- her brother. He isn't the best-looking rooster in the barnyard, but he always seems to have lots of chicks pecking around him.Whatu is the attraction? The mystery, I think. He doesn't say much so women fill in the blanks. Also I think it's refreshing; a relief from the knuckle-dragging Neanderthals out there. They like the challenge of getting him to open up. And, yes, they even ask him out, but he's the three-date strikeout king.Being shy can work for you at first, but it won't get you what you want in the long run.

Women want a man to be confident and assertive. Then they can be a woman! If you don't step up to the plate, you'll bring out the "mother" in them and be relegated to the friends' category. You�ll have lots of female companionship, but no romance.

So keep in mind a little boy you've seen recently, and avoid doing the things that little boys do with their moms -- they ask permission, they worry about pleasing her, they never take initiative, they aren't spontaneous, they don't know what they want, and they expect to be taken care of.Y

ou don't need any of that, so make sure you aren't giving the wrong impression. Dating is frustrating to everyone. I coach men and women both, around emotional intelligence, dating and relationships, and I hear the same thing from both sexes. It's frustration, rejection, confusion, and mystery until it works out, and it will. No one knows what's going on, so just hang in there.

Men that have a lot of bravado are just covering it up. No one likes to strike out, but everyone does. If you don't step up to the plate and take a swing, you can't get a home run. It's as simple as that. It gets easier with time, your odds improve as you practice, and the reward is definitely worth it. Eventually you'll see a ball coming over the plate you know is a home run, and you can hit it out of the park.

Here are some tips:
1. Monitor your self-talk. Keep it positive and affirming. Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to a buddy you wanted to encourage.

2. Monitor the self-talk of other guys. If it's one thing guys lie about, it's their prowess with women. Every man's in there taking his knocks just like you are.

3. Your emotions don't have to stop you in your tracks. You can be nervous and keep going. You can be worried about rejection and still take a risk. This is like a workout, building character muscle, aka tolerance for frustration.

4. Start from the inside out. What are you shy about? Make a list of all you have to offer and believe it. If there''s something you need to work on, get some coaching and take care of it. Otherwise, take pride in who you are and stay centered. Not all the women will like you, but you need all the women. You just need HER.

5. Practice where it'�s safe. Being outgoing is something you can try with the person next to you in the grocery line. Talk to strangers. Watch outgoing people and see what specific behaviors they do -- the eye contact, the tone of voice, the posture, the conversation-starters. It isn't a mystery, it's a set of skills, like a tennis serve.

6. If she asks you out first, that's fine, but you must take charge or you're going to be moved into the "just friends" category. Take over and be spontaneous. Don't ask her what she wants to do or where she wants to go. Plan something any woman would enjoy and expect her to go along. Use your gut feelings.

7. Don't try and please her all the time. This gets annoying with time. Just be you and go! Any healthy woman will squawk if she doesn't like something. Otherwise, assume all is well and carry on.

8. Have an opinion and express it.

9. Talk as well as listen. There's nothing more attractive than someone who gives us their undivided attention, but take your share of it, otherwise she'�ll see you as a doormat and lose interest. Set your ipod alarm if need be -- it's time for you to talk!

10. Kiss her when you feel like it. It's easier to get forgiveness than permission. She'll let you know when she's ready. Go with your gut.11. Nobody gets to be on a pedestal. Whether you�re worshiping at her feet, or your own, get down to earth. You're two real people, not actors in a movie. You are not there to judge each other's "date" performance, you're there to enjoy one another and have a good time. Know your stance/alignment and stance/takeoff so you're positioned right, and you can't lose. No matter what happens with her, you will have had a good time, and that's how you build confidence.

12. Practice. The only way you can get a hole-in-one is to take that bucket of balls out to the shooting range and hit balls for two hours.Shyness is a combination of innate personality, and insecurity. Your personality�s great. Insecurity isn�t. You get confidence by training, so get a coach. It�s not just for sports any more. They�ll put you through the drill and pretty soon you�ll be scoring like a star quarterback. Only where it really counts - your love life.