Thursday, June 29, 2006

How to Say the Truth

Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders, than from the arguments of its opposers. – William Penn, 1644-1718, English Born Founder of the Colony of Pennsylvania Good words from one of our forefathers.

Emotional Intelligence is about understanding and using emotion, in yourself and others. Emotion gives us information, in its raw form. We then think through it. We want to reach a logical conclusion, make the best decision, and choose the wisest course of action.

When you have a truth to deliver, consider using a soft tone of voice. Emotion motivates and convinces, but only in its moderation. It is especially effective when the general tone is that of respect for the other, caring about them, and curiosity for their position and concerns.

We like to consider ourselves Thinking Beings, and when aroused by the emotion of someone's heated appeal, we will feel "yes," then think we're being "too emotional."

"I 'm a Thinking Being," that left-brain says, and so I must resist this emotional appeal and not say 'yes' as a knee-jerk reaction." Then the logical thing to do , we surmise, is to say "no" or to wait. We want to think it over, just to show we're a Thinking Being, and can't be pushed around.

Confusing? Well, that's what too much emotion engenders.

Consider making your appeal with "just enough" emotion. Try a metaphor, a story, or something more subtle. Your audience will appreciate it, and be more inclined to agree and go along with you.

The women screaming and pointing her finger, and the male chest-pounding are not effective. You become the "show," and your words and reasoning are lost.

Develop your Emotional Intelligence with The EQ Foundation Course.


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"Uncanny. You were right on. Thank you so much. Your reading made it crystal clear. He called! I'm so glad I had a reading and took your advice. -- SD in San Diego

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