Friday, March 31, 2006

Children's Proverbs

CHILDREN'S PROVERBS

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you. eNJOY!

Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader.

Never underestimate the power of...termites.

You can lead a horse to water but...how?

Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.

No news is... impossible.

A miss is as good as a... Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new... math.

If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.

Love all, trust... me.

The pen is mightier than the... pigs.

An idle mind is... the best way to relax.

Where there's smoke there's... pollution.

A penny saved is... not much.

Don't put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.

None are so blind as... Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.

You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.

When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way!

Thursday, March 30, 2006

For Your Man's Health


IF YOU LOVE HIM, THERE ARE THREE THINGS YOU CAN DO:
1. Arbonne shaving cream -- what he puts on his face gets absorbed into his bloodstream.
2. Arbonne Prostate Formula
3. Arbonne Heart Formula

"Prostate formula?" said one of my clients, "I'd crumble it up and sprinkle it on his cereal if I had to. It's that important to me."

Emotional intelligence has the magic "I" word in it ... Yes, it's good to be intelligent about your emotions. No, "emotions" are not a replacement for "intelligence."

What IS "intelligence"? Many things, of course, but here is one definition: Your memory is your intelligence.

If you are aging and have noticed that, along with the need for drugstore bifocals, you also can't remember what you walked into the living room for (whereas you used to be able to), you may be suffering the "inevitable" short-term memory decline that comes with age.

Is it "inevitable"? You know what they say. There are only two things in life that are inevitable.

However, you can expect a bit of it (or more), you won't miss it as much as you thought you might (it makes us more forgiving), and there are some things you can do toi exacerbate the symptoms.

1. Stay in top physical health. Exercise, eat right, and take supplements. ARBONNE has some great ones. The latest advice is that the less you eat, the longer you'll live, so why not try the Arbonne Figure 8 Weight Loss products while you're at it. "I live on Chews," said one of my clients. "Every time I think I have to eat something, I pop in a Chews. Works great."

2. Keep things organized. This means cleaning out junk, and "a place for everything and everything in its place." If you don't, you may spend an hour every morning searching for the car keys, and even missing some important engagements because you can't 'remember' that you put them on the bathroom counter last night when you came in.

3. Go back to college days when you were first learning how to get organized. Get a big calendar and put everything on it. Use a daytimer if you prefer. Just something you can't lose. :-) Remember to calendar the big things (property taxes and annual checkups) as well as the smaller things (nails done, Botox treatment). If you like computers and are around one a lot, buy a great software like imanage or something.

4. Get creative about getting help, i.e., download an alarm on your computer. Use it. Set it and you won't forget to go pick up the dog because you got involved on the Internet.

5. Learn Yoga. It helps stimulate the brain and nervous system and peps you up. It is designed to help you remain rational and calm and improves your circulation. Try Dharana to keep your focus and still the rambling brain syndrome. Try Dyana to get the focus inward; even more calming.

6. Work on flexiblity and sense-awareness. Do NOT get stuck in rut. GO to work a different way, make new friends, learn a new hobby. Be more attentive with your senses - TUNE IN to the birds singing, the flowers on the walk as you leave the library, the smell of the bakery as you walk past.

7. One of the best things you can do is to learn something totally new. One of my clients has just started being a paralegal ... at the age of 60. Another took up motorcycling. The most important thing is to get completely out of your realm of experience. This forms new brain paths, and you will need as many as you can muster if you should have a stroke or other illness.

8. Take supplements for obvious weakening areas - like prostate and heart. Also a good general one for your immune system, like the DefenseBuilder.

9. Learn to cope as best you can, don't be a perfectionist, and don't worry about it unduly; that never helps and will cloud your mind more, making you even more forgetful. As one of my clients said, "I don't have a steel -trap memory any more, but I probably had more than was necessary to begin with. I'm not as good as I used to be, but I'm still above-average. I take my time, use crutches (like carrying a small notebook with me), and keep my sense of humor.

10. Get plenty of sleep. A tired brain won't function as well.

Are You Commitment Shy?

IS SHE RUNNING FROM YOU? ARE YOU RUNNING FROM HIM?

Is there anything scarier or more exciting than falling in love? Yup! Committment. Many of us can go up to the line, but then something holds us back. This is energy-draining, hard no the other, waste of potential ... and there's a better way.

This is especially likely when there's been a loss -- a divorce, the death of a spouse or someone you love, or a particularly devastating rejection.

However ... we want you to GO FORWARD. There is risk any time we love. There is no guarantee it will be returned. But the point is to open your heart, not harden it, and to love.

GET A **COMPATIBILITY REPORT AND FIND OUT IF IT WILL LAST. CLICK HERE: http://www.webstrategies.cc/PsychicSemiramis.htm

I often coach about relationships, and from time-to-time find someone who's really operating from the "fear of committment." Usually there are two prongs to this -- fear of engulfment, and fear of abandonment. Often the two unite and it ends up being a real chase, exhausting, unrewarding, such a waste of time, and -- worst of all -- reinforces that pattern. (You know we like to BUST those BAD BRAIN LINKS in Emotional Intelligence.)

Read our guest article for more examples, and then see solutions below. (Why go through this? Learn to identify it in others.)

"Fear of Commitment"

In my counseling work, I often work with clients who have a deep fear of commitment. These individuals generally say that they want to be in a loving relationship, yet they keep picking "the wrong people."

Susan, 38, sought my help because she was in two relationships at the same time. This didn't feel right to her, so she knew that she had to make a choice. Yet she could not seem to decide which relationship was right for her.

Susan had been in a relationship with Shawn for two years. Shawn, 43, was a delightful man, fun loving and sweet. However, Shawn would emotionally disappear for long periods of time, and he was clear that he did not want children - which was very important to Susan. In addition, Shawn was always living on the edge financially.

Then Susan met Calvin, who was totally different than Shawn. Calvin stayed emotionally present, had a job he loved and made very good money, and wanted to have children. Susan was very attracted to Calvin and in her heart she knew that he was a much better choice for her than Shawn. Yet she could not seem to let go of Shawn.

As we explored the situation, it became apparent that Susan couldn't let go of Shawn because she was terrified of
commitment. With Shawn there was no chance of being in a committed relationship - he was not really available. Yet Susan felt "safe" with Shawn. Safe from what? Susan discovered that she was terrified of really being in love, which was a possibility with Calvin but not with Shawn. In her mind, being in love meant losing her freedom. When she thought of being with Calvin, she felt like she couldn't breathe. Her concept of a loving relationship was that, "You are together all the time. I couldn't just go and be with my friends or take a vacation with a friend. Commitment means giving up freedom."

No wonder she felt safe with Shawn! As long as Susan felt she had to give herself up to be in a loving relationship, she would not be able to make a commitment.

Douglas, 34, another client of mine, has the exact same problem. When he is in a relationship, he is a very "nice guy." He tends to try to please his partner because, in his mind, taking care of himself and doing the things he wants to do is selfish. Yet, in giving himself up to his partner, he ends up resenting her and ending the relationship. Like Susan, he is operating under the false belief that he has to give up his personal freedom to be in a loving relationship.
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Both Susan and Douglas have a major false belief that is causing their fear of commitment: that loving another person
means doing what that person wants instead of staying true to themselves and taking loving care of themselves. They both have a false definition of selfish. They think they are being selfish if they take care of themselves instead of care-take their partners. I offered them this definition of selfish:

Selfish is when you expect someone else to give themselves up for you - to not do what they want to do and instead do what you want them to do. Selfish is when you do not support others in taking loving care of themselves and instead expect them to take care of you.

Giving yourself up is a form of control. You want to control how the other person feels about you by doing what they want you to do. When you do what another person wants you to do from love and caring, with no agenda to get their approval, you feel wonderful. But when you give yourself up from fear of your partner's anger or withdrawal, you will feel trapped and resentful. To be in a committed relationship, your first commitment needs to be to yourself - to your truth, integrity and freedom.

Learning to take loving care of yourself is the key to healing a fear of commitment. When you are taking loving care of yourself, you will be filled with love and you will have much love to share with your partner!

About The Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You" and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions.
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Remedies?

EQ Coaching & EQ Alive! Program - www.susandunn.cc/resiliency.htm
Master coach and trainer Susan Dunn will design program and coaching to fit your needs. Phone coaching available via skype (free phone).

**Compatibility Report - www.webstrategies.cc/PsychicSemiramis.htm

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Do You Hate Cell Phones?

Probably like many people, I have a love-hate relationship with the cell phone. Having been around long before they came into existence, I remember not being able to use the home phone at all when my husband, a doctor, was on-call.

I was appreciative for it this week when my computer hard-drive crashed and I had to go to Kinkos ... I could use my cell to call the ipowerweb tech for help with this and that.

HOWEVER, socially it's an abomination. It's just plain rude to pay attention your cell phone instead of the person right in front of you.

If you agree, enjoy this video:

In Little Ways

His name was Jim Tarr, but most of us knew him only as RRATJ.

He and I connected on the Internet, on one of those Internet dating sites. We lived in the same town and both of us were single and looking. We met for a nice dinner date and never met again. However, he began sending me those emails that go around, you know -- jokes, stories, photos. His list began to grow, and so did mine. When I missed a day or two, people would ask me "Isn't there anything from rratj today?"

There was political stuff too. No question about where rratj stood on things. Lots of photos of car crashes and charging bulls, and hunting scenes, too. Guy stuff, I called it, and sent it happily on to the "guys" on my list, of which there are many.

I introduced him to videos and we had a lot of fun with those, too.

Every now and then I'd blog something from rratj, and so would TheIntrovertzCoach, who's on my list, on her popular blog for introverts, that gets hundreds of hits daily.

RRATJ and I went through a couple of Christmas seasons together, the hurricane, the election of the Pope, Iraq, Bush ...

Jim was retired and had a lot of time on his hands, so he was always finding interesting and entertaining things for us. I'm very busy, but every now and then I'd realize the inequity, kick myself into action, and get busy finding things to generate myself. I produce several ezines, so I always had material but my things were more serious and inspirationl. Sometimes I'd create something pretty around a piece of poetry or some quotes. It was a relaxing diversion for me.

One thing rratj especially liked was my "Wisdom of the World in Proverbs." (To order an email copy, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc/)

About 8 months ago, rratj found himself a bride. We were all happy for him. He'd been single (and lonely, I think), for many, many years. At the time I met him, he'd come back to his "roots" (Texas Hill Country)and I was glad he'd found someone special to share the rest of his life with.

The morning of March 28th, I got an email from one of the other people on rratj's list. He informed us all that Jim Tarr ("RRATJ" he said) had passed on, the night of March 27th, apparently from a heart attack.

He will be missed.

Funny how much difference the little things in life can make. Usually I stay 'caught up' on everything, with everyone, but I realize now I never thanked rratj for the daily contact. He was kinda gruff, via email, and the only notes I'd get from him, he fussed about what he perceived to be my political persuasions, or told me for the 10th time how to save pictures so he could see them. (He didn't know how to push that button at the top of the email). That was about it.

But it was enough.

RIP, Jim Tarr.

And ... pass this on to 10 friends before midnight tonight and your true love will ...

Solar Eclipse March 29

We will all be watching as the time of the solar eclipse approaches, a major astronomical events. You can track it further, here:
http://sunearth.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse/SEmono/TSE2006/TSE2006.html

This will be an emotional time, regardless of what effects you think the eclipse may have in your life.

Some think these events effect our lives personally, and others don't/ If you do not, you will be around people who do, so they will have an emotional reaction you will need to deal with. If you do, and someone around you doesn't, you will need to be aware of that.

In other words, there may be disagreement, differing opinions about fundamental beliefs and ways of looking at things. How will you deal with this?

That's EQ!

We all suspect and have inklings. There is some scientific evidence, for instance about the tides -- oysters taken to tanks in the MidWest [USA] continue to react to tides that are thousands of miles away ... and all the women in an office, after time, start having their periods at the same time. (Major PMS problems!??)

What does your intuition tell you? Observe your reactions as the hype about the eclipse esalates, and take note. Emotional intelligence begins with self-awareness.
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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Pandemic ... Bird Flu ... Are you Prepared?

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QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR EMPLOYER BEFORE A BIRD FLU EPIDEMIC

Bird flu? Have you heard of it? You have probably been hearing more about it in the news lately. What is it and why should you be worried about it? Avian influenza affects poultry and wild game birds. It has been mainly in Southeast Asia but is
spreading to other countries.

Since 2003 160 people worldwide have become ill and about 82 have died. It is deadly to poultry and can be lethal in humans as well. The people who have contacted bird flu have been in close contact with infected birds. At this time it is not transmitted by human-to-human contact. But scientists fear, and health experts agree, that it is only a matter of time that the virus will change into a form that can be easily passed from person to person. When that happens there will be an increased risk of a worldwide pandemic.

We will not have immunity to this form of the flu and it can be deadly. It may be similar to the 1918 flu that killed 40-50 million people around the world. If it starts to spread, life as we know it will change. Millions will become ill and millions will die around the world. This flu could last for months at a time and up to three years. More than likely schools and businesses would be closed, public events canceled, transportation shut down and travel severely limited. Meaning your only choice is to stay home with your family.

Your business or company may have anywhere from 30-60% of the employees out sick, or out to take care of ill family members.

A bird flu pandemic could last for weeks or months at a time. You may be out of work for several months. You may want to start taking some measures now so you are prepared for being out of work and loss of income.
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THE COMING PLAGUE, Laurie Garrett. Click HERE to order.
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You need to ask your employer how they will be handling a pandemic crisis. What will their policies be? How are they going to provide a healthy work environment so that it will minimize the spread of the flu? How is your health insurance? Does it need to be updated? Will they offer additional sick time or paid leave of absence? Can you get a wage or salary advance or partial advance? Who will fill in for you, if you
are out sick or need to stay home with family members who are ill? Are your co-workers crossed trained? What happens if you need to stay home with your children because schools are closed? Can your business run with 50% of employees out sick?
What happens if the business needs to shut down completely? How do they plan on communicating with employees who are at home? Are there options for working at home? What if you need to leave the area to go somewhere safer? Will you have a job when
you return? These are the type of questions you need to start asking today before a bird flu pandemic.

You will want to make copies of your employment agreements, health and life insurance policies and other employee documents including investment plans, stock options and other benefits. If we enter a pandemic and you need to stay home and be out of work for several months, you may want to consider tapping into any investment plans to find available cash to carry you through. A global influenza pandemic will have catastrophic consequences worldwide that will affect your business, career, investments, home, family and community. Stay informed about the bird flu and start planning for a possible pandemic.

About The Author: To stay up to date on avian influenza, bird flu and the h5n1 virus visit The Bird Flu Index. Find links to bird flu websites, blogs, forums, official medical and government sites and full information about how the bird flu could turn into a global pandemic
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Stay informed about the bird flu and start planning for a possible pandemic by learning more about your health. Take the EQ Alive! Program to learn how your emotions effect your immune system, and how to manage them. Take a good nutraceutical to start bolstering your immune system. We recommend Arbonne's DEFENSE BUILDER.
THE PURPLE DEATH, by Purple Death, David Getz. Click HERE to order.
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THE ECLIPSE ... what does it mean to you? Contact Semiramis for a reading. $25 for email reading, $50 for phone reading.

Eclipses bring beginnings and endings. This on is in Aries, so likely some great beginnings coming up for you.

Be ready. Get a reading from Semiramis. Contact here at semiramis.appiamo@hotmail.com or go to www.webstrategies.cc/PsychicSemiramis.htm.

Monday, March 27, 2006

emotional intelligence course really works


FROM THE MAILBAG -- AN APPRECIATIVE CONSUMER OF THE EQ ALIVE! PROGRAM AND EQ FOUNDATION COURSE

FROM C. H. HOWEY, TRAINING COORDINATOR, STELCO INTEGRATED STEEL BUSINESS, ONTARIO

"As a middle manager, parent and spouse – I thoroughly enjoyed Susan’s course. It was my first experience taking an on-line course with a coach/teacher. Much, much more successful then any of my other on-line courses.

"We’ve all been taught the importance of emotional intelligence, even it wasn’t called that. Some of the quotes that come to mind were:

· Attitude determines altitude.
· Leadership drives performance.
· If we can dream it, we can do it.
· I can

"Not having any formal exposure to emotional intelligence, but having an interest in the issues of leadership, stress, wellness and performance, I found Susan’s course on emotional intelligence very relevant with issues we all face today. I enjoyed the exposure to new ideas, as a manager when does one hear of “soothing”, “resilience” or the “limbic” brain?

"And reminders of other skills like optimism, creativity, self-awareness and empathy. Some issues like “endeavoring” to always speak well of people or not to speak at all, caused me rethink my behaviour.

"I’ve enjoyed as well seeing the topics covered come up in the local paper as key principles for business leaders – issues like optimism, humor, self-awareness and an appreciation art.

"Probably the greatest part of the course is the emphasis on optimism, the engine that drives EQ, through perseverance, passion and purpose. The result – performance.
EQ also ties into wellness, as a manager, I first started to pay attention to stress when the public health nurse commented that “85% of doctors visits are related to stress” ( I asked her twice to make sure the quote was right!). It’s not much of a stretch to use the same percentage with health care costs and absenteeism.

Evidence continues to mount that North America is under a serious wellness crisis, in Canada the four leading causes of doctors visits for adults are; hypertension, depression, diabetes and anxiety. Estimates place the cost impact of stress at in excess of 150 billion dollars – greater than the profit of the entire Fortune 500 combined.

"An interesting part of the course was the recent research by Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman that showed that happiness came not for hedonic pursuit of pleasure, but from helping others. Interesting for me was to see this match the information I gathered last year “Although not published anywhere, those people who volunteer are more likely to report being very satisfied with their life and more likely to describe their health as excellent or very good compared to non-volunteers.”

"The skills taught in Susan’s course are skills we all need – managers, parents, teachers and students...[and] are the steps towards a life filled with passion, love and joy."

Want to find out more about the impact of emotional intelligence check out:
www.eiconsortium.com, Susan’s site www.susandunn.cc or www.essisystems.com (While you're there, take the EQ-Map. Find out where your stress points are.
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The EQ Foundation Course and EQ Alive! Programs are online, distance learning with email and telephone support optional. Coaching also offered. We have years of experience teaching and training online. Give us a call at 210-496-0678, or mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Currently training and coaching in India, Malaysia and Singapore in conjunction with Orane Opportunities Unlimited.
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85% OF DOCTOR VISITS ARE STRESS-RELATED? Definitely a call to develop your Emotional Intelligence. In the meantime, give your body a break with Arbonne's DefenseBuilder. It supports your immune system, which your health. Shop safely online with me at MyArbonne with this health-conscious, conscious company, manufacturing in the US.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Emotional Intelligence

It could be your anger ... your ego ... your rigidity ... your solipcism ... your lack of ability to use metaphor ... being locked in left- or right-brain mode only ... your intimidating syle that turns people off ...

THE BAD NEWS IS, IT'S YOURS AND IT'S ATTACHED TO YOU
THE GOOD NEWS IS, UNLIKE THIS LITTLE GIRL YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOURS AND MAKE IT GO AWAY. EQ coaching works. Give it a try!

GO HERE: http://www.metacafe.com/play/80443/me_and_my_shadow.asx?

Are You Compatible? Will Your Love Last?

NEW FROM SEMIRAMIS

You Love Each Other ... Will It Last?



It's so hard to tell. This time you'd really like to be sure. Or maybe you'd just like to know more about the dynamics of your relationship.

The Numerology can be very helpful because all you need is the full name of each person at birth and their birthdate. This information is usually easy to come by.

THIS SPECIAL REPORT IS COMPUTER GENERATED BUT THE BEST OF ITS KIND I HAVE SEEN AND WELL WORTH THE PRICE, $35. I RECOMMEND IT AND WISH TO HAVE IT AVAILABLE HERE AS A RESOURCE FOR MY CLIENTS WHO ARE COST CONSCIOUS, WHO ARE NOT READY YET TO INVEST IN A FULL TELEPHONE READING ($50) OR ASTROLOGICAL CHART INTERPRETATION ($135) OR WHO CAN'T GET BIRTH TIMES FOR EITHER INDIVIDUAL.

Love, infatuation and passion deepen over time but also reveal other traits in the other person that we may not like or that cause friction. This is part of it and so you must be prepared for this and know how to deal with it. The purpose of this report is effective damage control which is why it appealed to me as being of considerable value.

The report may seem slightly more critical than most. Its purpose is to illuminate negative characteristics that need to be recognized and dealt with lest they cause serious or irreversible damage later on to preserve what can be a marvelous relationship. A little bruised ego while reading the report is considered a small price to pay for improving the overall chances of lasting love down the line.

This ten to fifteen page report, delivered to you via email attachment within a few minutes of placing your order, reveals ...

Your Life Paths and Compatability
The Life Path gives a broad outline of the opportunities, challenges and lessons you will encounter separately and together in this lifetime.


Your Personal Self Expression and Compatability
Personal Self Expression and Creativity or "Destiny" refers to your physical and mental constitutions and the orientation or goal of your lives.


Your Heart's Desire
Heart's Desire refers to is the "inner you" of each of you. It shows your underlying urges and true motivations.


Your Personal Compatability
Personal Compatability reveals what you see in each partner when you take a closer look.

Your Personal Year 2006 and 2007
A short forecast of the next 24 months for each of you.

CLICK HERE to pay $35 via paypal. Then please send both full names and both birthdates to me @ semiramis.appiamo@hotmail.com. Women should use their full maiden name at birth. Please feel free to contact me with any questions or to arrange payment by check instead.

FOR EMAIL READING, $25, CLICK HERE. When I receive your payment, I will email you to commence your reading.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Proverbs from Around the World

Proverbs are full of wisdom. When we hear them from different countries, and different times, we can't help but notice that there are certain things true about life, and human nature, across time and space.

Enjoy this series from my "World Wisdom in Proverbs."









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Sunday, March 19, 2006

Are you an Introvert?

FRANZ LISZT the famous composer

He was known for his flamboyance, the first pianist to go "solo" for an entire concert to audience, In his lifetime, he achieved fame similar to what a rock star enjoys today. However, he eventually happily retired to the country where he lived as a monk.

WAS HE AN INTROVERT?

It's highly likely; many artists are.

Here are two of his quotes:

"Art is Heaven on earth, to which one never appeals in vain when faced with the oppressions of this world."

"I calmly persist in staying stubbornly in my corner, and just work at becoming more and more misunderstood."

If you're an introvert, it can feel like swimming upstream. Indeed introverts are in the minority, and so it's a fight to establish the ways of the Introvert as legitimate lifestyles.

For instance, when the extrovert gets upset about something, he or she "acts out", i.e., goes out drinking or carousing, bangs on the desk, picks a fight, dumps his romantic partner, or gets a speeding ticket. The introvert is more likely to curl up on the couch under a blanket ... and is therefore labeled "depressed."

Does this make sense?

No. It's just a different coping style.

TheIntrovertzCoach can help. Nancy Fenn is the nation's leading expert on introversion. Check out THE BLOG - http://nancyfenn.blogspot.com . This blog is getting thousands of hits a day. Immensely popular from the time Nancy put it up. Find out why!

The EQ Alive! Program can really help introverts understand how they are, and what works. Email for info - sdunn@susandunn.cc .

To experience the "heaven on earth" that is music join CLUB VIVO PER LEI/I LIVE FOR MUSIC. Like-minded friends are waiting to welcome you!
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WORKING WITH A BUNCH OF MONKEYS?

Watch the video: http://www.devilducky.com/media/25620 for some loving inter species fun. Then again, you really might recognize a co-worker in there.

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Permex Causes Obsessive Gambling & Pleasure Seeking

DRUGS CAUSE COMPULSIVE GAMBLING?


I started to title this "drugs cause compulsive gambling" and then I realized how silly that sounded. More precisely, this is about the latest news that some people who have been taking drugs for Parkinson's disease (such as Permex), which are called "dopamine-agonists" (they effect our levels of dopamine) claim the drugs have caused them to be engage in compulsive sex and gambling.

People are starting to sue the drug manufacturers, of course; so far they've been denied a class action claim. The stories, however, are sobering.

One woman, for instance, who was prescribed the drug to stop restless leg syndrome," ended up on 40x her original dose (which tends to be necessary), and ran through hundreds of thousands of dollars gambling. Several people cited contemplating suicide as they watched themselves proceeding to trash their lives.

Especially disheartening were some of the antidotes - - the psychologist who tells you to "make a list" of self-sabotaging behaviors; or the psychiatrist who suggest you're self-sabotaging to test your husband's love. And they failed to quote the self-help guru/coach who said, "If you keep on doin' what ya been doin'..."

Aren't we all getting a little tired of this?

Buried on down in the article on msn is this incredible statement:

[quote]
"There is decent biochemical plausibility that chemical changes can lead to impulsivity and acts like pathologic gambling," said Duke University psychiatrist P. Murali Doraiswamy, co-author of ...[an]analysis, published in Archives of Neurology.

"It is certainly plausible that gambling can be a side effect of a drug that excessively stimulates limbic-system dopamine," Doraiswamy said.

Question of free will? [the article continues]

The notion that brain chemicals play a powerful -- but hidden -- role in human behavior is at odds with American convictions about free will and choice. Kanuch and other patients said they spent years believing they were responsible for their actions, only to find that the impulse for self-destructive behaviors vanished once they stopped taking a drug. [end quote]

This last paragraph is seriously misleading. Just for starters, to feel the impulse for self-destructive (or other-destructive) behaviors does not remove the responsiblity from a person for their own behavior. To have an impulse to do something is not a mandate to do it, or the person who invited me to lunch the other day and then spent half their time on their cell phone would be dead, or mangled, instead of simply someone I choose not to have lunch with again, unless the behavior changes.

One of the things people enjoy the most when they take the EQ Alive! Program is a deeper understanding of emotions -- where they come from, what's "automatic" (beyond free will?), what's acquired, and the strong role "chemicals" play in the process. And it is emotions that motivate most behaviors.

Consider, for instance, what we have learned about alcholism. Alcoholism (the ingesting of A CHEMICAL, A DRUG, if you will) was long considered to be a character defect. We now know that the line of causation goes the other way; it isn't caused by a character defect; instead, it often (though not always) causes one. The "not always" is what's important here ... and the reason there's no class action.

If you've taken any prescription drugs (or the street kind), or listened to or lived with someone who does, you will not have a big "ah hah" moment over this article. All drugs have side-effects, and some of them are major. People on anti-depressants, who have now turned away from the drugs and psychologists and turned instead to coaching, tell me 'all I did was sit there. No motivation. I felt good, I guess, but what had happened to my life by the end of that year, from neglect and disinterest, wasn't "good"." (Sounds like reports of marijuana, yes?) People on diet pills report bizarre behavior or desires, depending upon the strength of their so-called 'will power.' So do people on steroids. So do, for that matter, women who are PMSing.

Dr. Vaillant, a leading national expert on alcoholism, has said that getting off alcohol is not a matter of will power. Addiction resides in the reptilian brain and, as he says, "Alligators don't come when called."

Alcoholics who manage to kick the habit often say they don't know how they did it. In fact, they often attribute it to "by the grace of God." (See my ebook, "Alcoholism and EQ: The 14th Step". Why not a 13th step for AAers, 12-steppers ... because they tell me the 13th step is a predictable roust of promiscuous sex, usually with other AA members ... an attempt to replace those feel-good chemicals, or, more precisely, an attempt to combat the release (or re-appearance) of those feel-bad chemicals the alcohol had been "treating" (numbing). Does getting off alcohol CAUSE promiscuity? No of course not. But it changes things (like the brain chemistry), and can lead to ... or make it easier to ... and this is more likely to occur in the uninformed and unmindful.

Studying emotional intelligence helps you get a better grip on what these random chemicals do to you and your emotions, and how this relates to your behavior. Whether they're prescribed, present in the foods you eat, or in the products you put on your skin and face (see ARBONNE for SAFE skin-care products and supplements), in a bottle, or something you get off the street, all drugs have side-effects, and anything absorbed into your body or ingested, is going to make a difference. Actually they don't have "side-effects," they do what they do. "Side-effect" is spin-doctoring. It means "it is ALSO going to do this." It's a tradeoff.

When the woman in the article got off the drugs, her restless leg syndrome returned with a vengeance, but it was a no-brainer for her.

Interesting term there, "no-brainer." It's difficult to live the good life without emotional intelligence (EQ). It starts with self-awareness -- an understanding of how you operate, what your 3 brains do, why when you get nervous (in your head) you get diarrhea (in your gut); why when you lose a loved one you may end up in the ER with symptoms mimicking a heart - attack or even die "of a broken heart."

It needs to be said that there are people on Permex and other Parkinson's disease drugs who don't gamble or surf porn sites compulsively. Why not? Does one have more 'will power' than another? Yes, or maybe a different "rheostat". Some of us are more sensitive than others; some of us have more education about emotions than others; some of are more likely to "act in" than to "act out". Explanations for individual behavior are usually complex, and always unique.

What sends one person into a rage might go unnoticed by another. The same anger that makes Fred hit someone, might make Alice laugh, and might make Anthony so enraged, he knew he needed to take a time out, count to ten, tap his temples, get away, breathe deeply, meditate, listen to Rachmaninov, or whatever else he's learned (LEARNED) to do to manage his emotions.

Consider the man in counseling for battering his wife who claimed, "I couldn't help yself. If she'd made you that angry you would've hit her too," to which the therapist replied, "if Mike Tyson made you that angry would you have hit him?"

The wife-batterer then had to admit he was making choices, because another question to ask is, "Then why didn't you kill her?"

He CHOSE (1) TO act in some way upon his feelings - to react not respond; (2) NOT to leave, (3) NOT to take a verbal strategy, (4) TO hit her, and (5) NOT to kill her.

Emotional intellience is a fascinating study with tremendous potential for bettering your life.

Let's play "What if?"

IF you have had studied EQ, been put on Permex, and started feeling compulsions, would you have been able to stop yourself? Who's to say, but I think it is more likely you would have noticed the changes, and that's the beginning. There is something to be said for anticipation. Because you become more aware of how "you" operate, and better at understanding what to some people is a random "feeling" or "mood," you are less likely to operate in robot-mode, as if you (the "thinking and decision-making you") were not part of the equation, but rather a "body" propelled by "feelings" and helpless in their wake. That "I don't know what came over me" feeling. Or "that wasn't like me, I don't know what happened." Or "the devil made me do it."

You may have noticed the CHANGE in the way that Fred now can say "My thoughts are starting to speed up, my hands are sweating -- and here's the important part -- if I don't do something now, I will do something I will regret, like hurt myself or someone else, I know this from experience, and I know the signals, and what to do. And so ...

In studying emotional intelligence, we KNOW that brain chemicals play a powerful role in human behavior. It's not "hidden", nor is the fact "hidden" that "chemical changes can lead to impulsivity." In fact, that's precisely what some "chemical changes" are designed to do -- the fight or flight syndrome, for instance.

To get more information about the EQ Alive! Program, visit my website, or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . I've worked with 100s of people who have realized immediate benefits in their lives. Join us!
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Saturday, March 18, 2006


Emotional Intelligence is not a contest between emotions v. thinking where there's a "winner". It's the interface between the two. The more we learn about emotions and managing them, the more we can choose what's the thing to do at the time, with the best results.

From a blog . . ."Does the Heart Just Pump Blood?" She struggles with the fact that she "knows better" than to take a dive when she sees her ex, but, alas the heart doesn't always listen. The heart has reasons of its own ...

A very pathetic thing to happen.....When u say ex u mean you have moved on in life , left your past in the past , ur living in the 'now', ur so sure nothing from the past can pin ur nerve and then suddenly boom one shot of him/her and ur hoplessly thinking again...................

A coupla years ago i had written an article for my college magazine , it was in my last teen yrs....i compared the heart and head to the horzin at the sea. Its like the Sun and Sea seen to meet at the horizn but they actually don't . We think that the mind and the heart work together ...but actually the function of the heart is just to pump blood and it has nothing to do with what happens in the right side of ur brain.......it was applaueded...

Years later of u asked me about the heartache on the sight of an ex i would say 'my heart is dumb'...Can never figure out why the right part of the brain stops functioning just with one moment....i mean where is all the rantionalization , the positive thinking, the more to life , morality , year of working on moving on , self esteeem fundas go in the one silly moment of indulgence.....

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We can REASON all we like about how we FEEL, and it won't change how we feel. That has to come from another level. In fact if we attempt to "argue" with our feelings, we will only give them power.

We know from research these days that the heart "doesn't just pump blood," it is intimately connected to our feelings. People actually do die of "broken hearts", and show up in the ER after traumatic events with symptoms very like a heart attack, although otherwise, their hearts are quite healthy. In fact ER doctors have given this syndrome a name, as it's not uncommon.

Emotions effect us physiologically, which is another GOOD REASON TO STUDY EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. Take the EQ ALIVE! PROGRAM and learn more. For information, mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc . This program will be individualized to meet your personal needs.

Friday, March 17, 2006

St. Patricks Day

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY
Let's celebrate the Irish

IRISH BLESSINGS
May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be ever at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
And the rain fall softly on your fields
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

IN TIMES OF SORROW

May you see God's light on the path ahead
When the road you walk is dark.
May you always hear,
Even in your hour of sorrow,
The gentle singing of the lark.
When times are hard may hardness
Never turn your heart to stone,
May you always remember
when the shadows fall - -
You do not walk alone.

IRISH PROVERBS

1. People live in each other's shelter.
2. A lock is better than suspicion.
3. A friend's eye is a good mirror.
4. The light heart lives long.
5. It is better to exist unknown to the law.
6. The mills of God grind slowly, but they grind finely.
7. Even a small thorn causes festering.
8. Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die.
9. The wearer best knows where the show pinches.
10. He who gets a name for early-rising can stay abed till noon.
11. There is no luck where there is no discipline.
12. It's not a matter of upper and lower class, but of being up a while and down a while.
13. You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
14. Three diseases without shame: Love, itch and thirst.
15. You must live with a person to know a person. If you want to know me, come live with me.
16. What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.
17. Your feet will bring you to where your heart is.
18. A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.

QUOTES ABOUT THE IRISH

There is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
- Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)

Ireland is rich in literature that understands a soul's yearnings, and dancing that understands a happy heart. - Maggie Jackson

I'm troubled, I'm disatisfied. I'm Irish. - Mariane Moore

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

The Irish would've conquered the world were it not for liquor. - Unknown

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Edna O'Brien

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is. Not even the Irish.

The Irish ignore anything that can't drink or punch.

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.

The British are not happy unless they are miserable, the Irish are not at peace unless they are at war, and the Scots are not at home unless they are abroad. - George Orwell

IRISH TOAST

May your glass be ever full,
May the roof over your head be always strong,
And may you be in heaven
Half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

IRISH CURSE

May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope.


MAY THE LUCK OF THE IRISH BE WITH YOU!
=====================
Here's to my Irish Dad

==========================
CELEBRATE ST. PATRICK'S DAY WITH A READING.
Do you have the luck of the Irish? Find out more about it with a St. Patrick's Day reading with SEMIRAMIS. $25 for an email reading. Email her at semiramis.appiamo@hotmail.com . She'll do the Celtic cross for you.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

The Most Beautiful Love Poem There Is

This is the most beautiful love poem I've ever read. I got it from The IntrovertzCoach. Check out her blog HERE. It's the hottest blog on the net.



You've no idea how hard I've looked for a gift to bring You.
Nothing seemed right.

What's the point of bringing gold to the gold mine, or water to the Ocean?
Everything I came up with was like taking spices to the Orient.

It's no good giving you my heart and soul because you already have these.

So - I've brought you a mirror.

Look at yourself and remember me.

--Jalaluddin Rumi

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Intuition

CAN YOU READ BETWEEN THE LINES??


Some people who come to study Emotional Intelligence, take courses with me, or have coaching, are very left-brained. They generally need to work on things like creativity, intuition, flexiblity, and seeing the big picture. (Are you? Take THE EQ-MAP and find out.)

The coaches I train also want to know how to "teach" these competencies.

Here's an exercise that can help you learn or teach those right-brained things. The goal is to become balanced and acquire "whole brain thinking." This means that you have developed both sides of the neocortex, and flexed and strengthened the corpus callosum which connects them, which, in turn, gives you a wider variety of behaviors to choose from in any situation.

The person with more tools in their kit - - the one who is the most flexible - - will "win" in any interchange. If you see things only one way, you have only one way of dealing with them, and someone with more EQ can dance you all over the dance floor. It has nothing to do with intellect, BTW. The best person for the job never gets chosen. The person who gets the promotion isn't the smartest or most skilled. The "Winner" is almost always the person with the highest EQ.

EXERCISE

Choose a symbol that represents you. Do it randomly.
Go HERE, the symbols site. Click about halfway down where it says "Check out a random symbol". When you click on it, 'ask' for a symbol about you. The one that's chosen for you won't be an accident. "There are no coincidences."

When you get your symbol, figure out what it has to do with you. If you haven't a clue, just start talking (writing) about what's there, and what it makes you think of.

You may actually feel your brain "stretch" when you attempt to do this.

If you know someone whose intuitive, who knows you fairly well, show them the symbol and ask them how it represents you. You can learn from this as well.

MY SYMBOL

I drew the symbol for the crucible:

They define it as: "a sign for crucible, or melting pot, used in old chemistry. A crucible was a small but strong bowl in which metals could be melted. A crucible can also be drawn as a cross.

It general terms, crucible means "a severe test" or "a place or situation in which concentrated forces interact to cause or influence change or development."

I thought this was fitting, since I'm a coach. I often act as a catalyst for change in people. allowing them to change, develop or transform.

I also thought of some times I'd gone through that were like crucibles, and also some relationships. Deep, difficult, and/or intense, where I was transformed.

Now go find your symbol. Let me know what you get. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Healthy Hearts

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE . . . IT'S ABOUT YOUR HEALTH

Here it is again - - isolation is worse on your health and life than, say some studies, high blood pressure, smoking, obesity, and other poor lifestyle practices. They often lead to them as well.

Emotional Intelligence teaches you the lifeskills that lead to a healthy life and the ablility to establish and maintain connection. They make a good life better.

Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for information on the various EQ Alive! programs I offer - - for your wellness - - and check out my website.
___________________________________________

MENDING A BROKEN HEART
BY Kathy Paauw

"Love wasn't put in your heart to stay. Love isn't love until you give it away." - Michael W. Smith

Heart disease is one of the leading killers in America. You probably know that lowering cholesterol and blood pressure can reduce cardiac risk factors. But did you know that the risk of dying within six months of a heart attack are four times greater for people who are depressed and lonely?

Valentine's Day 2006 marked the 25th anniversary of my father's death. When people ask how he died at such an early age (he was 47), I usually say that he died of a
broken heart. I attribute my father's heart disease to the high stress he was under, as well an unwillingness to honor his own needs for self-care. (His diet was terrible and he did not exercise much.) In addition, my parents had just divorced and my father was very lonely.

It's ironic that my father died of a heart attack on February 14 -- the day that we plaster hearts all over everything as a way to recognize those we love. His parting gift to me and my siblings was a homemade valentine . a hand-written note scrawled on the back of a used envelope found at his hospital bedside in the Intensive
Care Unit. Apparently he sensed that his hours were numbered, and in his heavily-medicated state, he was able to leave us with his final wishes that we experience love, joy, and peace.

Dr. Dean Ornish, a Clinical Professor of Medicine at UCSF and author of the book, Love and Survival, tells us that "medicine today focuses primarily on drugs and surgery, genes and germs, microbes and molecules. Yet love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well. Connections with other people affect not only the quality of our lives but also our survival. Study after study finds that people who feel lonely are many times more likely to get cardiovascular disease than those who have a strong sense of connection and community."

Lonely people are also much more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors, taking refuge in food, drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. They have nobody else to live for. But even those who eat right, exercise, and avoid smoking and other risk factors, are at greater risk for premature death. There's a lot that medical experts don't completely understand, although several recent studies have found that
the protective effects of love have a profound effect on heart health. Understanding the connection between how we live and how long we live can help us to make better choices.

Ornish suggests that "instead of viewing the time we spend with friends and family as luxuries, we can see that these relationships are among the most powerful determinants of our well-being and survival. We are hard-wired to help each other. Science is documenting the healing values of love, intimacy, community, compassion, forgiveness, altruism and service - values that are part of almost all
spiritual traditions as well as many secular ones."

Last November in my article, Connecting With Each Other, I shared how lonely and isolated I had become due to several life events that converged at the same time. I received some very heartfelt responses from a number of subscribers to this ezine. Several subscribers - people I've never met or even spoken with - offered support. I was deeply touched by the caring and concern that was represented in the responses I received.

I am amazed at how little effort it takes to motivate, uplift, and make a difference in my own life and in the lives of others by the simple gesture of sending or receiving a note of appreciation or encouragement. And in doing so, I feel more connected.

We all want to be acknowledged for our contributions in this world - to know that our lives matter in some way -- and we all want to be treated with respect - at home and at work.

A Gallup Poll conducted in 2004 reported that 65% of Americans received NO praise or recognition in the workplace in 2003. The US Department of Labor reports that the number one reason people leave organizations is that they don't feel appreciated. Their contributions are not acknowledged. Gallup's study of nearly 5 million employees reveals that increasing the recognition and praise in an organization can lead to lower turnover, higher customer loyalty and satisfaction scores, and increases in overall productivity.

When was the last time you shared expressions of appreciation and admiration with those you work and live with? Here are a few ideas of ways you can reach out:

- Pick up the phone and call - thank someone for a good deed, or just express how much you appreciate them. - Send a hand-written note. It does not need to be long. It's the thought that counts. - Invite someone out to a "just because" lunch. - Compliment someone for something you appreciate about them. - Do something you know they would appreciate, without being asked to do it.

Where are relationships on your list of priorities? Rediscovering the wisdom of love and compassion may help us survive at a time when our hurting world so badly needs it.

About the Author:

Wouldn't you love to stumble upon a secret library of ideas to help you de-clutter your life so you can focus on what's most important? Kathy Paauw offers simple, yet powerful ideas, on how to manage your time, space, and thoughts for a more productive and fulfilling life. Visit her website at http://www.orgcoach.net .
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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Relax

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TODAY'S MESSAGE:

"I'm convinced that we can write and live our own scripts more than most people will acknowledge. I also know the price that must be paid. It's a real struggle to do it. It requires visualization and affirmation. It involves living a life of integrity, starting with making and keeping promises, until the whole human personality, the senses, the thinking, the feeling, and the intuition are ultimately integrated and harmonized." - Stephen Covey

You have to relax to get there, to balance the whole personality, senses, thinking, feeling and intuition. You also need to learn the skills involved. The EQ Alive! Program can take you there. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc . Learn more HERE.
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Monday, March 13, 2006


IS THIS "BLACK" OR "GUS"? YOU BE THE JUDGE.

This VIDEO is very funny and very enchanting.

It's also a great example of emotional intelligence.

There they are on the nightly news in a sophisticated metropolitan area, and our reporter has made a huge faux pas. Of all the ways his co-anchor could have handled it, I'm sure he chose the one with the highest EQ.

Enjoy!

It's spring down here in south Texas! When I pulled into the driveway today, I was surprised to see that my lawn is green. It comes so suddenly here, and so early. I grew up in the MidWest, and I miss the seasons. In fact I took a friend of mine to lunch the other day, who lives in Pennsylvania, but winters here, and she said, "How do you ever know what season it is? Or what month? Do you have to stop and think?"

I do. You just don't have that "feel" you do in a place with seasons. When she asked, I had to stop and figure out what month it was. It makes for a sense of "timelessness." We know it's Halloween because of the things we see inside (decorations), not the things we see and feel outside - - the weather.

When my friend asked me that question, I realized I'd never asked a native Texas about this phenomenon ... and I'm not sure how to ask it.

This shades right into "multiculturalism" and how different people can be. I would like to know what their experience is like, and will have to find the right words, the right questions.

I guess I'll ask, "Do you always know what month it is?" and then, "How?" All the time I'll be thinking of a wonderful life experience I've had, that they haven't.

My "northern" friends and I get particularly misty-eyed when we talk about fall . . . the smells, the feel, the special slant of the sun's rays.

We all have unique experiences like this, that leave an imprint almost in our cells. We do this with emotions as well. Things we hook up that no one else would, things we expect to happen that someone else wouldn't, and vice versa.

When I ask someone a question, I expect the other person to be delighted to answer, and to want to teach me what they know. I'm always (still) so surprised when they show no interest, or give an offhand response, or don't know how to teach, or show. My parents were great "teachers", so that's what I expect.

I've been around quite a few years, and I still have that expectation, and still get that "twinge" when it doesn't occur, like "something's not right here." Like fall's supposed to be here, and it isn't.

That's a deep limbic connection for me, strong because it was formed in childhood. Despite numerous experiences to the contrary (sadly), I still expect that if I ask someone politely to explain something to me, or show me how to do something, they won't just do it, but they'll enjoy doing it. That's a nice expectation I have. I have others that aren't pleasant, don't you?

One of my clients was the oldest daughter in a large family She does not expect to be given any help. As a kid, her mom was always busy with the younger ones. She was told to take care of it for herself, OR to help the younger ones. She's carried that over into the workplace, with predictable results. She does too much without recognition, she spend time helping others without asking for it in return, so she's resentful, and she fails to "bother" her boss, even when it's quite justified.

In EQ, we fiddle with those connections. Sometimes we have "hook ups" that don't work for us, like the child who was bit by a dog and thinks all dogs bite, so unless there's some intervention, they'll never go near a dog again, and think what they'll miss.

Take the EQ Alive! Program and find out more about your connections and feelings, how they work, how they can be changed or strengthened, how to manage your emotions for a better emotional lifestyle, and what the benefits to yourself and others would be.

Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information or visit me on the web at www.susandunn.cc .

Sunday, March 12, 2006



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I spend a great deal of time in the winter on products to deal with dry skin and chafing. We don't have the chilling winters of the midwest and east coast but we have our driest weather and my skin soaks up products to restore moisture.

Like most sensitive people, I've spent hundreds of dollars trying one product after another because the chemicals AND aromas used wind me up with an allergic reaction which I then have to counteract with Claritin or aspirin. One year I tried all the Bert's Bees products and my eyes were itchy and red for days!

I thought I would go back to basics and tried Vaseline on my lips. They swelled up like a balloon.

Since using Arbonne products, for the first time I can ever remember, I use the tube or dispenser all the way down to the very bottom, having already ordered the replacement to have on hand ... not to miss a day. I have finally found products which produce no redness, no irritation, no tearing up, no burning ... and no allergic respiratory reaction to the chemicals.

I like to think of the time and money I'm saving having finally found a whole LINE that works for me. And they work together synergistically.

Yesterday I actually went through my hall cupboard and threw out -- one after another -- old scrubs, lotions, moisturizers and massage products -- some of which I had paid a fortune for but ALL of which had inflamed or irritated my eyes or breathing. NO MORE! And no more time and $$ wasted.

How about you? Could you benefit from simplifying that area of your life?

My last discovery -- the one I want to share with you today is for chapped lips. Product #1817 is just fabulous!! This year has been so dry, that my lips got really chapped. I'm so glad I tried Arbonne's Lip Ointment because it will also make good preventive care. It looks like lip gloss after it is applied and I know I'm not adding more chemicals to my blood stream, a special concern so near to the mouth, a receptor and breeding ground for bacteria and ingested elements par excellence.

Try the Lip Ointment. You will just love it! And such a cute little container to carry around with you.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Lovers' Quarrel ... in Winter


Poetry is part of the EQ Alive! program, because, at its best, it's distilled emotion. It's a natural venue for expressing the most intense feelings. Many people, in fact, who have suffered a tragedy turn to writing poetry.

And so do lovers!

Here is a poem by Robert Browning about a man home alone on a wintry day whose lover has left him.

This is a complicated poem as to language. It almost mirrors the frame of mind of someone home alone missing their lover who has gone away. He talks of things that aren't clear. I'm "an English major" and I really don't know what some of it means, and I don't get the references. But isn't this like a man in love who's been abandoned? The things he talks about are memories between the two of them, and not meant to be clear to us. They're hints, and his misery keeps him from articulating clearly anyway. We never have words, really, for the deepest pains and joys.

Then something pierces through the fog for the reader. We know all about "when we loved each the other so" and the joys of Stanza IV. We laugh a lot when we are in love, and do not need a cause. He misses her so ...

We hope his lady love does forgive him, again, and return on this wintry day and he can have her evermore.


A LOVERS' QUARREL
Robert Browning

I.

Oh, what a dawn of day!
How the March sun feels like May!
All is blue again
After last night's rain,
And the South dries the hawthorn-spray.
Only, my Love's away!
I'd as lief that the blue were grey,

II.

Runnels, which rillets swell,
Must be dancing down the dell,
With a foaming head
On the beryl bed
Paven smooth as a hermit's cell;
Each with a tale to tell,
Could my Love but attend as well.

III.

Dearest, three months ago!
When we lived blocked-up with snow,---
When the wind would edge
In and in his wedge,
In, as far as the point could go---
Not to our ingle, though,
Where we loved each the other so!

IV.

Laughs with so little cause!
We devised games out of straws.
We would try and trace
One another's face
In the ash, as an artist draws;
Free on each other's flaws,
How we chattered like two church daws!

V.

What's in the `Times''?---a scold
At the Emperor deep and cold;
He has taken a bride
To his gruesome side,
That's as fair as himself is bold:
There they sit ermine-stoled,
And she powders her hair with gold.

VI.

Fancy the Pampas' sheen!
Miles and miles of gold and green
Where the sunflowers blow
In a solid glow,
And---to break now and then the screen---
Black neck and eyeballs keen,
Up a wild horse leaps between!

VII.

Try, will our table turn?
Lay your hands there light, and yearn
Till the yearning slips
Thro' the finger-tips
In a fire which a few discern,
And a very few feel burn,
And the rest, they may live and learn!

VIII.

Then we would up and pace,
For a change, about the place,
Each with arm o'er neck:
'Tis our quarter-deck,
We are seamen in woeful case.
Help in the ocean-space!
Or, if no help, we'll embrace.

IX.

See, how she looks now, dressed
In a sledging-cap and vest!
'Tis a huge fur cloak---
Like a reindeer's yoke
Falls the lappet along the breast:
Sleeves for her arms to rest,
Or to hang, as my Love likes best.

X.

Teach me to flirt a fan
As the Spanish ladies can,
Or I tint your lip
With a burnt stick's tip
And you turn into such a man!
Just the two spots that span
Half the bill of the young male swan.

XI.

Dearest, three months ago
When the mesmerizer Snow
With his hand's first sweep
Put the earth to sleep:
'Twas a time when the heart could show
All---how was earth to know,
'Neath the mute hand's to-and-fro?

XII.

Dearest, three months ago
When we loved each other so,
Lived and loved the same
Till an evening came
When a shaft from the devil's bow
Pierced to our ingle-glow,
And the friends were friend and foe!

XIII.

Not from the heart beneath---
'Twas a bubble born of breath,
Neither sneer nor vaunt,
Nor reproach nor taunt.
See a word, how it severeth!
Oh, power of life and death
In the tongue, as the Preacher saith!

XIV.

Woman, and will you cast
For a word, quite off at last
Me, your own, your You,---
Since, as truth is true,
I was You all the happy past---
Me do you leave aghast
With the memories We amassed?

XV.

Love, if you knew the light
That your soul casts in my sight,
How I look to you
For the pure and true
And the beauteous and the right,---
Bear with a moment's spite
When a mere mote threats the white!

XVI.

What of a hasty word?
Is the fleshly heart not stirred
By a worm's pin-prick
Where its roots are quick?
See the eye, by a fly's foot blurred---
Ear, when a straw is heard
Scratch the brain's coat of curd!

XVII.

Foul be the world or fair
More or less, how can I care?
'Tis the world the same
For my praise or blame,
And endurance is easy there.
Wrong in the one thing rare---
Oh, it is hard to bear!

XVIII.

Here's the spring back or close,
When the almond-blossom blows:
We shall have the word
In a minor third
There is none but the cuckoo knows:
Heaps of the guelder-rose!
I must bear with it, I suppose.

XIX.

Could but November come,
Were the noisy birds struck dumb
At the warning slash
Of his driver's-lash---
I would laugh like the valiant Thumb
Facing the castle glum
And the giant's fee-faw-fum!

XX.

Then, were the world well stripped
Of the gear wherein equipped
We can stand apart,
Heart dispense with heart
In the sun, with the flowers unnipped,---
Oh, the world's hangings ripped,
We were both in a bare-walled crypt!

XXI.

Each in the crypt would cry
``But one freezes here! and why?
``When a heart, as chill,
``At my own would thrill
``Back to life, and its fires out-fly?
``Heart, shall we live or die?
``The rest. . . . settle by-and-by!''

XXII.

So, she'd efface the score,
And forgive me as before.
It is twelve o'clock:
I shall hear her knock
In the worst of a storm's uproar,
I shall pull her through the door,
I shall have her for evermore!

Take The EQ-Map and see how you're doing. Then sign up for the EQ Alive! Program. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information on this Internet/distance learning course. IQ gets you through school. EQ gets you through life.

Graphics by www.clipart.com.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Dana is Gone

TRAGEDY ON TOP OF TRAGEDY
This week we said good bye to a woman and wife of incredible courage, Dana, who gave up her entertainment career to help her husband, Christopher, paralyzed for 10 years.

Dana died of lung cancer at the age of 44.

"Dana will always be remembered for her passion, strength and ceaseless courage that became her hallmark," according to Kathy Lewis, president of the Christopher Reeve foundation, in a statement posted on its website. "Along with her husband Christopher, she faced adversity with grace and determination, bringing hope to millions around the world."

Christopher died in 2004, and Dana followed close behind. Our prayers are with the children and family.
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All too often we see this happen when someone experiences a tragedy or a succession of difficult life events which compound the stress. I fact, the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale was developed some years ago with this in mind. Death of a spouse was rated 100 points, and other events included divorce, death of family member, loss of job and so forth.

Amazingly outdated for 2006, it remains a classic. If you added up the relative stress values of the different major life events (both "good" and "bad") -- known as "Life Change Units (LCUs)" -- a score of 250 or more is considered high. However, for someone less resilient, 150 would be overwhelming.

What's important is that the test was developed to test disease susceptibility.

With a score of 150 or less, you have a 37% chance of becoming seriously ill. With a score between 150-300, it jumps to 51%. Over 300, there's an 80% chance of serious illness in the next two years.

Why do I say outdated? Take a look. One item, "working more than 40 hours a week" -- isn't this commonplace now? Not that it isn't stressful ... It also doesn't list death of an adolescent child, considered by some psychologists to be the biggest stressor of all, or terrorism, blending families, or bankruptcy.

What does remain is that stress and emotions effect our immune system, which is our health.** As a coach, I work with people continually to addres theconnection. Studying emotional intelligence and developing your EQ helps. Taking an immune system supplement, like Arbonne's DefenseBuilder, working to keep your social support network strong, massage, meditation, prayer, and practicing the competencies of emotional intelligence are some of the things you can do when faced with a tragedy or accumulation of stressors.

Just being able to call your coach can be comfort and support, and your coach can help in other areas, and give you health options.

As the stressors build up -- marriage, divorce, a new baby, a new job, losing your job, moving in with your in-laws, sending a child off to college -- consider taking the EQ Alive! Program and getting some coaching. Part of WELLNESS is preparing ahead. Preventive medicine. Adversity strikes. Bad things happen to good people. Do what you can to bolster your resilience, and resilience is an EQ comptency.

To take the EQ Alive course (on the Internet), mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .

** 5 minutes of anger suppresses your immune system for up to 6 hours.
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Donations can be made in memory of Dana to the Christopher Reeve Foundation, 636 Morris Turnpike, Short Hills, New Jersey 07078 or online at www.ChristopherReeve.org.
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ARBONNE: Take care of yourself NOW. Order Arbonne's DefenseBuilder or Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement HERE. Shop safely online with me at MyArbonne.

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Wednesday, March 08, 2006

PEOPLE ARE AS UNIQUE AS SNOWFLAKES ... NO TWO ARE ALIKE.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE is the preferred method for preparing today's workplace. It is broader than a seminar on "diversity" or "sexual harassment,' yet prepares for both and many other situations. Ask us about our program options.

MULTICULTURALISM

Multiculturalism is a reality in the US and for those of us who do business globally. The US has more legal immigrants yearly than all the other countries in the world combined. (However, multiculturalism is a worldwide phenomenon these days.)

Also there are vast cultural differences among "native" Americans living in the US for several generations, as you know if you've done business with a New Yorker (better be quick!)or bi'ness with a Texan (better stand at a 90% angle to your male companion). Culture is neither ethnic nor racial. It is learned and each culture is different. Treat everyone like a unique individual, as you would like to be treated, don't get hung up on stereotypes, and develop your emotional intelligence so you can be more intuitive about how to communicate with, negotiate with, and provide services and products for people from cultural backgrounds other than your own.

SOUTH TEXAS TWO-STEP

In South Texas, if you're talking to a male, he will stand at a 90% angle to you.

If you move to reorient, a "dance" will begin. This is a markedly non-intimate position (macho), and often the eyes are cast down at the floor or out across the floor, not at the other party.

South Texans generally say "Pleased to know you," while Mid Westerners say, "Pleased to meet you" or "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

More from San Antonio, Texas – in a strictly social setting, it’s not customary to shake hands with women. In society, there’s the haute hug – two women will parody a hug with no part of their body touching, just tapping each other on the back. Often with an older, respected person, or to express affection with respect, you shake hands, then cover their and your hands with your left hand, patting or stroking while maintaining eye contact.

MOST CULTURES OF THE WORLD DON’T GREET BY SHAKING HANDS

People from Asian cultures bow in greeting, but the bows are different.

People from Cambodia and Laos bow with their hands in the prayer position in front of the chest. In Japan, the depth of the bow signifies the level of respect for the other party.

Many Koreans prefer bowing and if they shake hands, the right hand is supported at the wrist by the left hand to show respect.

Thais bow with palms together about chest-high with their fingers outstretched. And, there are exceptions. The Taiwanese usually nod the head in recognition rather than bow.

HUGGING AND KISSING

Native Hawaiians hug each other, exchanging breaths in a custom called “aha.” Mexicans use the abrazo (hug).

If your Cuban male client kisses you on the cheek, you know you've made the short list. Immigrant men from the Middle East often shake hands with a slight nod or bow and then exchange kisses on both cheeks. They don’t shake hands with women, or introduce the woman they’re with. Men in Eastern Europe, Portugal, Spain and Italy will often kiss male friends on the cheek.

THE SALAAM

Pakistanis greet with salaam, the equivalent of our "hello" – bowing with the palm of the right hand on the forehead.

POSTURE HAS MEANING

Ready to settle in with your Middle Eastern client? As an American, you’re likely most comfortable sitting back in your chair and crossing your legs. Well, don't! In the Middle East, one of the most insulting things you can do is sit with your legs crossed so the bottom of your foot is pointed in the other person's direction. The foot is the dirtiest part of the body and the sole of the shoe is the dirtiest of the low. To show someone the bottom of your foot means you're looking for a fight!

WHEN IS A HANDSHAKE NOT A HANDSHAKE?

Even hand-shaking cultures such as England, France, Germany, Italy and the US do it differently.

Brits prefer a brief but firm handshake. The French prefer a light grip while sharing one gentle single shake that is quickly withdrawn. Germans will give a very firm handshake -- just one "pump" then quick withdrawal. More than one shake with Germans or French is considered aggressive. Italians will shake hands and then hug friends or kiss them on both cheeks. In many southern US states, it is not customary to shake hands with women.

WHEN YOU ASSUME YOU MAKE AN A**-out of U and ME

Bear in mind the other person may be trying to accommodate to your culture, so don't assume they will use their traditional greeting.

For example, if you start first, for instance bowing, and then see a hand extended for a shake, and switch to that, the other person will then have switched to a bow and this becomes awkward. For many cultures such "awkwardness" will kill the deal early on.


DISTANCE HAS MEANING TOO

Different cultures have different preferred distances for interacting. If someone moves in closer than you’re accustomed to, or comfortable with, stay the ground, because if you automatically draw back the other person can be offended.

The Chinese tend to stand closer than Americans because of the crowded spaces in China. Middle Easterners typically stand barely a foot away. They operate on the principle “I want to feel your breath on my face.” The more formal Japanese tend to bow at about 3’ away, and then step back another foot. Don’t advance into their space if you want to build relationship. India has some complex rules of distance because of the caste system, so hold back and observe what the other person plans to do. Germans are perhaps the most guarded of their personal space.

THE CRITICAL FIRST MOVE IN RELATIONSHIP IS THE GREETING SO DON’T BOTCH IT

Begin with a polite word or two, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Taekwondo, it's such a pleasure to finally meet," and then wait to see what happens. When they make their move, mirror it, by bowing, shaking hands, giving the abrazo, or nothing! Use your intuition! When in doubt, err on the side of conservatism.

For coaching in this area, call me at 210-496-0678, or mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .