Wednesday, May 31, 2006

What's New in Emotional Intelligence


If this ebook is for you, you'll know it. It's about the bullfight, Zen, bulls, bulls***, and other constructs in the fight of your life. A beautifully illustrated piece, with stories, metaphors, and things you need to know. $11.99. Click HERE to order. Susan's ebooks are beautifully illustrated as that adds so much to the message and your experience. She pays a lot for graphics. It's something you won't find too often and you know what they say ... a picture is worth 1000 words.

WE'RE BABYING YOU AT CLUB VIVO PER LEI / I LIVE FOR MUSIC. There's always something new going on. Right now we're learning about the Tango and its music and preparing the summer display. (Memorial Day is still up there.) There are plenty of places for you to contribute, and we hope you will. Have a memory about music (Dad listening to Sunday at the Met on Sundays? your first piano teacher? ) Let us know. Join Club Vivo (it's free) and you'll get a weekly ezine. Our honoree is Dr. John J. Alifano, composer, pianist and physician.

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE? We have the ebook for you. Because you need to tread carefully. "Where Angels Fear to Tread" - order HERE. Practical instruction about bullying, mobbing, intimidators, temper tamtrums, the alpha male. the witch, the backstabber, and more. Just $9.99.

We know it's rough out there and wanted to help. Taking a slightly different slant, of course, from the usual "difficult people" book.

Read this now and save yourself some grief, presure, stress and even getting fired.

WHAT'S OUR NEWEST BABY? India! In partnership with Orane Unlimited, in New Delhi, we are now positioned to bring our EQ program to you in India. Starting next month. the EQ Alive! Program, Internet courses, ebooks, CDs.

If you've dialed India lately to get computer help, you know what a job these people have and how much EQ is takes. More and more business is being outsourced to India all the time, and the economy is projected to "boom" for some time to come. We'll be hiring extra coaches, so let me know if you're interested. If you're reading this from India, email for information on these programs. All long-distance, some available on-site and locally. More to come. .

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Fill in your favorite professions. Let's try nurse and doctor for this one. There are so many possiblities.

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. Descending a bit farther, she shouted, "Excuse me, can you help. I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I do not know where I am."

The man replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40/41 degrees latitude, north and 19.60 degrees west, longitude."

"You must be a nurse," said the balloonist.

"I am," the prof replied. "How did you know?"

"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I am still lost. Frankly you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The man below responded, "You must be a doctor."

"I am," she replied, "but how did you know?"

"Well," replied the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problem. The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now -- somehow -- it is my fault."

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Uh Oh


McDonald's hash browns are one of my favorite things in the world. In fact, I think you can't beat a McDonald's Big Breakfast and I get one every now and then. The good news is that it doesn't contain one of their muffins.


"It may be fast and convenient to stop at McDonald's for breakfast on your way to work, but this may make you think twice: Eat two McMuffins and two hash browns for breakfast and your arteries will remain inflamed until lunchtime, HealthDayNews reports of a new study from the State University of New York at Buffalo. [suny]

Why worry about inflammation of the arteries? This is a direct pathway to atherosclerosis and heart disease.

The specific breakfast cited by the SUNY Buffalo researchers is a McDonald's Egg McMuffin, a Sausage McMuffin, and two orders of hash browns. Total calories: 930.
... Eat this and within an hour, it will trigger inflammation, says study co-author Dr. Paresh Dandona. What's more that inflammation continues for three or four hours longer.

Most of us are well aware that high-fat, high-carbohydrate meals raise our cholesterol levels and send our blood sugar rates soaring. That puts us at greater risk for diabetes and cardiovascular disease. But now nutritionists are aware there is a third danger: inflammation of the blood vessels. The fats and carbohydrate sugars appear to release "free radical" molecules within the blood cells, which in turn trigger the inflammation, reports HealthDayNews.

For the rest of the article, go HERE.

It ends telling us that the culprits aren't the egg or the sausage, it's the has browns, the cooking oil, and the muffins!

(Published in the April issue of the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.)

Monday, May 29, 2006

How the Macarena Got Started

The 12th Monkey Theory in Action.
This may be how your office mail system got started! Dude.

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Won't You Be My Neighbor

"Feelings are mentionable and manageable." - Fred Rogers
"I'm supposed to be a pretty tough guy and this is the first time I've had goose bumps today." - Senator Pastore

Or click here:

Who's tougher than the US Senate? Fred Rogers. What a class act.

In this rare clip from 1969, Fred comes before the Senate hearing committee on funding for the newly developed Corporation for Public Broadcasting, headed by Senator Orlando Pastore from Rhode Island. Nixon had proposed cutting the budget in half, due to Vietnam spending.

Senator Pastore: “Alright Rogers, you got the floor.”

Mister Rogers: "I like you just the way you are."

Senator Pastore:
“I think it’s wonderful …
I think it’s wonderful …
Looks like you just landed 20 million dollars.”
P. S.
“What do you do with the mad that you feel?
When you feel so mad you could bite
When the whole wide world
Seems oh so wrong
And nothing you do seems very right . . ."

Photo is copyrighted, from wikipedia, and considered to be used under the doctrine of fair use.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Memorial Day


One of the things we all dislike about psychology and psychologists is terms like "vulnerable to loss." Who, pray tell me, is not "vulnerable to loss"?

It is devastating to lose someone who made your world a better place. Or something that did, like a career or a special house.

This Memorial Day Weekend, I am saying goodbye to something I treasured. It is time to say goodbye.

The hardest part is to give up hope. To say, "There is nothing more I can do."

THE STRUGGLE. Death is final -- Pluto was the only god to whom there was no altar. There's nothing more you can do. When it's parting on the mortal plane, one is left to try and comprehend the incomprehensible. And then, once you're resigned, you must grieve it. Grieving is hard work, and it takes time.


There's a story behind this beautiful and heart-rending video. The song is Con Te Partiro sung by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman.

Henry Maske was retiring as light-heavyweight boxing champion of German, and he was a national hero of rare stature. Not only was he a winner, he was a man of character who had won the hearts of the people.

When he had a match, he always chose a song for his entrance. To most Germans, art and music are a part of the fiber of their lives.

Sarah Brightman was a friend of Maske's and knew of his retirement. One day while dining out, she heard Bocelli's song Con Te Partiro playing on the Muzak and knew it was the song for Maske's Farewell Match. It was time for him to say goodbye.

She recorded it with Bocellli, with the London Symphony Orchestra, it was played at Maske's farewell match, and the rest is history.

For those of you who are curious, Maske lost on points to the US contender.

Join us at Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music (named for another song of Bocelli's) to enrich your experience of music. You can sign up on the website to receive our weekly ezine. We welcome you, and your contributions. Tell us about your musical memories (ragu on the back burner, bubbling, as Sunday afternoon at the Met comes on the air ...), take the surveys, send us articles, let us know what you want to learn more about.

FOR COACHING, CALL 210-496-0678.
DOES HE LOVE ME? WHAT CAN I DO? Semiramis' specialty is lost relationships. Where is he? Why doesn't he call? Does she love me? Will we marry? What should I do? These are questions she can answer for you. For a reading, email her at Email reading, $50. Phone reading, $80. Mention this blog for a 10% discount.

Words Fail Me, but I Hope You Got Some Today!

I am revising my ebook "Restitution: A Woman's Work at Midlife". When my sister sent me this video, I was writing the part about "isolation."

"The splendid isolation" so lauded by psychologists and others in the West, is actually one of the highest health risks. It is worse for your health than obesity, high blood pressure, and smoking combined.

Personally I'm glad it's now called "co-sleeping" and scared little girls don't have to cry themselves to sleep upstairs alone in dark, scary new houses, but can crawl in bed with whoever's available and willing.

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Saturday, May 27, 2006

The True Meaning of Memorial Day

Please, let me love you till the end ...

Friday, May 26, 2006

Memorial Day Tribute

Click HERE to hear Ave Maria, sung at John Kennedy's funeral.


Click HERE to hearJohn F. Kennedy's Inaugural Address: Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.

by John J. Alifano, Jr. (7th grade, age 12)

This is a sacred date
when we commemorate
our dear ones who are no more,
but are remembered as before.

On each Memorial Day
we keep from work and play
to pay homage instead
to our ever gallant dead.

Our brave soldiers who fought
for the freedom they brought
made our country so great
that no one will under-rate.

So let's give flowers and thanks
to our heros in all the ranks
who fought for justice and peace,
may our love for them never cease.

In the photo, John-John Kennedy salutes his father's casket as he is laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery on the morning of John-John's 3rd birthday.


Bach-Gounod's Ave Maria with Mario Lanza and Boys' Choir.
If video doesn't show, go here:

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Barbaro's Injury. Prado's Concentration.

Jockey tries to steady Barbaro after his injury in the Preakness.

We are all waiting to see the outcome of Barbaro's injury and hoping for the best.

It's always about a 50-50 chance when a race horse breaks a leg. I remember an article I read in Time many years ago about a horse that had broken its leg and died shortly thereafter, despite good care. The horse wouldn't stay still. It kept thrashing around, re-breaking places in the leg.

What made him such a great runner was what killed him, the editorial said. The will to win. The spirit.

Without a neocortex, the horse can't understand "intellectually" that it must keep still. Of course some people, too, even with the aid of a neocortex can't understand what's best for them, or aren't willing to do it. They get swept away by the emotion. As we say, "You can't reason OUT of someone what hasn't been reasoned INTO them."

I don't know too much about horses or racing, but one article I read about Barbaro said the he was smart. That he stopped, while some horses will continue running with the leg broken, which shatters the bones, drives splinters up into tissue, and exponentially complicates the injury.

In watching the reruns, it seemed to me that Edgar Prado, Barbaro's jockey (who modestly refers to himself as 'only a passenger') had reined the horse in immediately.

Prado is known for his concentration, which is often mistaken for anger. In fact he looked angry during the post-race interview. It would be understandable if he were. Anyway, since my facial expression during intense concentration is often misinterpreted in the same way, I commisserate. And I have learned, like Prado, to explain it to others.

Prado, from Peru, and one of 12 children, rarely shows his feelings, writers say; that his face remains expressionless whether he wins or loses.

"I'm not a very emotional person," Prado says. "I like to keep it nice and quiet. That's the way I've always been."

I would think this sort of focus (an EQ competency) would be crucial for Prado's job, which is more dangerous than most people realize. The pressures are immense around something like the Triple Crown. All the things Prado has to keep in mind, including the wellbeing of the horse, and the millions riding on the outcome. What goes on out there once the race begins is what has given us the phrase "jockeying for position" -- and this with hundreds of pounds of moving horse under you and all around you to control (manage) as well. One strategy for winning is to push other horses out of the optimal position, while others want to do the same to you.

Prado humbly credits others for wins -- the owners, the trainers, and especially the horse itseld.

The interviews with Prado after the race were about what you would expect. The same focus and concentration.

It's always so sickening when something like this happens. Being in the wrong place ... just a dip in the track, a rock ... it doesn't take much.

We await the outcome.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Music Effects our Emotions


"Our experience of art shares the special characteristic of taking us out of our selves. When we are absorbed in a work of art we are entirely forgetful of our selves. Time seems to have stopped. It is literally the case that we as perceiving subjects are no longer in time or space. All the arts except music are representational ..." Bryan Magee, The Tristan Chord

From today's mailbag:

From B. G. , in Tampa: "Thank you for Club Vivo Per Lei. What a beautiful site. Music soothes and inspires me. I turn to music when nothing else can console me. When we were divorcing, I played the piano night and day. I hadn't played in years. Music works when words don't. "

From T. T. in Bozeman, Montana: "If I were dying, I would want to hear music. When I've had to go to the hospital, I take my favorite music with me and tune out. There aren't many noises in a hospital you would want to hear. I tune out from the pain of the world and tune into the celestial spheres. I am transported. I guess it's why some people drink and take drugs."

From Kiran in New Delhi: "You need some Indian music on your website."
THERE IS SOME INDICATION that music can affect levels of various hormones such as cortisol (arousal and stress), testosterone (aggression and arousal), and oxytocin (nurtuting behaviors), as well as releasing endorphins (natural opiates).

RESEARCHERS AT THE University of Muenster's Institute of Experimental Audiology in German have shown that intensive practice of an instrument leads to discernible enlargement of parts of the cerebral cortex, the layer or gray matter most closely assocaited with higher brain function.

THE ABILITY TO ENJOY MUSIC and react to it, is deeply embedded in the biology of the nervous system, participants at the "Biological Foundations of Music" agreed. Different parts of the brain light up whether it's listening to music, playing an instrument, or whether the song has words or not.

Join Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music and learn more. Watch some of the great videos. Listen to some of the selections. Send us your music memories.

The EQ Alive! Program is the only one we know of that includes music and the arts, which are known to be essential to emotonal intelligence.

To become a certified coach, go HERE.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Memorial Day Tribute

See our MEMORIAL DAY TRIBUTE on Club Vivo Per Lei/I Live for Music, dedicated to Dr. John J. Alifano, a veteran of Vietnam.

A physician, accomplished pianist and composer, Dr. Alifano has practiced internal medicine for over 40 years and understands the healing benefits of music.

Read more about it on Club Vivo - - and please join. It's fr**. Sign up on the website and you'll receive a weekly ezine. Browse the site and enjoy yourself.

Our MEMORIAL DAY TRIBUTE includes images, photographs, videos and music to help you process the emotions.

In war there are no unwounded soldiers ... and there is no one who hasn't been to war. Veteran, active service-person, or the person in the cubby next to you at the office, everyone you meet has fought, or is fighting a hard battle. "Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something."

We celebrate the personal courage and committment of those who served, who gave their lives that others might live, and for those left behind, who grieve.

There is no song or music more consonant with grief than Dido's Lament, from Henry Purcell's opera, Dido and Aeneas. Click HERE to see video of Jessye Norman singing Dido's Lament.

For the parents who lost children, and the children who lost parents, those who lost sweethearts and spouses, and those who lost their moorings, and the many Vietnam veterans who live in homeless shelters, suffering still ...

-Napoleon Bonaparte

Click HERE to hear The Caissons Go Rolling Along


MY DAD (1919 - 1981), Artillery Officer, WWII

"The Guns, Thank God, The Guns. . .
- Rudyard Kipling

About the artillery ...

"Artillery adds dignity, to what would otherwise be an ugly brawl"- Frederick the Great, King of Germany, 1740 to 1786

"Ultima ratio regnum." (The final argument of kings) - Inscription on French cannons, by order of Louis XIV, King of France

"The artillery was my strongest tool. Often it was my only reserve .... I repeatedly said it was more a matter of the infantry supporting the artillery than the artillery supporting the infantry.... I wish I knew the countless times that positions were taken or held due solely to TOT's ...." Major General R. 0. BartonCommanding US 4th Infantry Division World War II (Reminiscing with his division artillery commander)

"The thanks of the infantry, in my opinion, must be treasured more by every artilleryman than all decorations and citations. " - Colonel Georg Bruchmuller, Imperial German Army Artillery Officer and Father of Modern Fire Support

"If you don't have enough artillery, quit."-General Richard Cavasos

"The speed, accuracy and devastating power of American Artillery won confidence and admiration from the troops it supported and inspired fear and respect in their enemy." -Gen Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Do not forget your dogs of war, your big guns, which are the most-to- be respected arguments of the rights of kings." -Frederick the Great

"Artillery conquers and infantry occupies." -J.F.C. Fuller

"Too much praise cannot be bestowed on those who managed my artillery" - General Andrew Jackson after the Battle of New Orleans, 1815

"The Guns, Thank God, The Guns. . .- Rudyard Kipling

In many situations that seemed desperate, the artillery has been a most vital factor.Gen Douglas MacArthur

The harder the fighting and the longer the war, the more the infantry, and in fact all the arms, lean on the gunners.Field Marshal Montgomery

"Nothing is more destructive than the charge of artillery on a crowd." -Napoleon Bonaparte

"The best generals are those who have served in the artillery." -Napoleon Bonaparte

"Leave the Artillerymen alone, they are an obstinate lot. . ." -Napoleon Bonaparte

"I do not have to tell you who won the war. You know, the artillery did." -Gen George S. Patton

"Artillery is the god of war." -Stalin

Thanks, Dad.
Thanks, John.
Thanks to you all.

Emotional Intelligence is like the artillery ... walk softly and carry a big gun. When you have EQ, you can walk softly, because you have more confidence in handling yourself and in handling your emotions and those of others. It adds dignity to what would otherwise be a brawl.

At work or at home, we often must influence, direct and lead others. To do this, we must convince, and it's important to remember that you cannot reason OUR of someone what was not reasoned IN to them in the first place.

Like it or not, it's all about emotions.

Start developing your EQ today with the award-winning EQ Alive! Program, personal coaching, business coaching, Internet courses and ebooks. You'll become a better leader, more resilient, enjoy better health, understand others better, be able to motivate yourself and others, focus, remain rational, hook in to your "gut feelings" better, and reclaim your personal power.

Clients call it "the missing piece."

Order my new ebook -- RE[de]FINE YOURSELF. How do you know someone's successful? What makes charisma, class, refinement? How do we all recognize a "gentleman" or a "lady"? And what is success? Certainly it is not money, because money can't buy class. Nothing can buy class. What is it that gives someone that special air? The room gets quiet ... all eyes turn ...

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Monday, May 22, 2006


Ride of the Valkyries, Richard Wagner's Birthday

What an exciting day today is. Richard Wagner's Birthday.

Just watch the excitement as James Levine lead the Berlin Philhamonic in Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries. POW!

Nothing like it.

If video doesn't show, go HERE - . Cast of thousands. Watch the horns.

Read about Wagner, learn more about the magic of music. Join Club Vivo per Lei.

Wagner was the only opera composer to write both the words and the music himself.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Tina Turner and Mick Jagger and Emotional Intelligence

Folks, watch Tina give her Personal Power away.

If this video doesn't show, go here:

Now, granted coming up against Mick Jagger is no small feat, but if there's anyone that has the same energy and charisma, it's Tina. And Tina gave Mick dancing lessons you'll recall.

It's disconcerting to watch her sidle up to him, look at his constantly. Mick's a consummate pro of course - always knows where the camera is and where the audience is. Watch him GO! She's left to follow in his slip stream.


If you're a woman, most women are weaker in this competency than men. Learn what to do about it.

If you're a man who cares about his woman - wife, partner, employer, or daughter - let me help you. Others are watching and if you upstage the woman on the program with you, you will lose all the women in the audience. (Females are more perceptive and THEY WILL NOTICE.)

And your daughter? Dads are CRUCIAL in the self-respect of their daughter.

Email me - and get started now.

It's YOUR Personal Power. Name it, claim it, aim it.

I'm here to help you.

Memorial Day

Check out the EQ BLOG in INDIA


"In war there are no unwounded soldiers." _Narosky

Listen to Missa in Tempore Bellli (Mass in the Time of War), by Franz Josef "Papa" Haydn


Henry Purcell composed Dido and Aeneas in 1681. As you know, opera composers have librettists who write the words, except for Richard Wagner who did both. The story is decided upon. Then the librettist hands the composer the words. As we discuss below, in regards to Turandot, the words are sometimes scant, but by the time the opera composer is through with them ...

Here are the words given to Purcell for Dido’s Lament.

The story first: Aeneas was a hero on a voyage. He met Dido, the Queen, when he landed on her island and they had a torrid love affair. Now Dido has found out that Aeneas is going to leave, as all mythical heroes do, and she is talking to her maid, Belinda. She says:

Thy hand, Belinda, darkness shades me.
On thy bosom let me rest.
More I would, but death invades me.
Death is now a welcome guest.
When I am laid in earth, may my wrongs create
No trouble in thy breast.
Remember me, but ah!
Forget my fate.

These are the words, and yet the lament, a primitive aria, lasts a long time. Dido sings them over and over.

How so?

The role of the music.


(Like each of us who must say goodbye to our Best Beloved, knowing we shall never see them again,)

Has little to say ...

... But much to feel.

That is one reason why we have music.
AND NOW, FOR THE VETERANS OF OUR WARS, especially Ray Garrett, Ray Garrett, Jr., John Trimble Hale, John Trimble Hale, Jr., Samuel Chester Dunn, I, and Samuel Chester Dunn, II, all deceased; and our Honoree, John James Alifano, Jr. ... very much alive & well ..

... My Loved Ones Who Have Served.

How about yours?

"SILENCE," by Edgar Lee Masters

I have known the silence of the stars and of the sea,
And the silence of the city when it pauses,
And the silence of a man and a maid,
And the silence for which music alone finds the word,
And the silence of the woods before the winds of spring begin,
And the silence of the sick
When their eyes roam around the room.

And I ask: For the depths, Of what use is language?
A beast of the field moans a few times
When death takes its young.
And we are voiceless in the presence of realities – We cannot speak.

A curious boy asks an old soldier
Sitting in front of the grocery store,
“How did you lose your leg?”
And the old solder is struck with silence,
Or his mind flies away
Because he cannot concentrate it on ‘Nam.

It comes back jocosely
And he says “A bear bit it off,”
and the boy wonders, while the old soldier
Dumbly, feebly, lives over
The flashes of guns, the coursing of blood from the young,
The shrieks of the slain,
And himself lying on the ground,
And the hospital surgeons,
the knives And the long days in bed.

But if he could describe it all
He would be a composer
…But if he were a composer there would be deeper
Which he could not describe.

There is silence.
There is the silence of a great hatred,
And the silence of a great love,
And the silence of a deep peace of mind,
And the silence of an embittered friendship.
There is the silence of a spiritual crisis,
Through which your soul, exquisitely tortured,
Comes with vision which cannot be uttered
Into a realm of higher life.
And the silence of the gods who understand each
Other without speech.

There is the silence of defeat,
There is the silence of those unjustly punished;
And the silence of the dying whose hand
Suddenly grips yours.

There is the silence between father and son,
When the father cannot explain his life
Even though he be misunderstood for it.

There is the silence that comes between husband and wife.
There is the silence of those who have failed;
And the vast silence that coversBroken nations and vanquished leaders.
There is the silence of Lincoln,
Thinking of the poverty of his youth.
And the silence of Napoleon
After Waterloo.

And the silence of Jeanne d’Arc
Saying amid the flames, “Blessed Jesus”
–Revealing in two words all sorrow, all hope.

And there is the silence of age,
Too full of wisdom for the tongue to utter it
In words intelligible to those who have not lived
The great range of life

And there is the silence of the dead.
If we who are in life cannot speak
Of profound experiences,
Why do you marvel that the dead
Do not tell you of death?

Their silence shall be interpreted
As we approach them.



And that is why there is music. Military marches to inspire soldiers, and help them keep time and do their marches and drills right. Masses, for prayer, especially "in times of wars."The military is a microcosm. The Air Force, for instance, has an orchester, a string quarter, a symphony, someone who can play Taps, a Celtic quarter for entertaining, a group that visits nursing homes, a rock band.

And out at Ft. Sam, someone plays the piano on Sundays for the buffet, and soldiers walks aounr with Walkmen.

We need our music for where there can only be silence.

Ulysses S. Grant,: "I never advocated war except as a means to peace."

His worthy adversary, Robert E. Lee: "It is well that war is so terrible , or we should get too fond of it."

General Dwight David Eisenhauer: "I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity."

PLATO: "The war is only over for the dead."

FENELON: "All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers."

CHURCHILL: "When you're going through hell, keep going.

AND FOR THE MOTHERS: "Oh, let's say 75 would be a good lifespan ... maybe 80 ... no one would ever want to outlive their child..." ~Garrison Keillor
Thank a service person who served. One-on-one. Doesn't matter if you weren't there.

I had the privilege of touring Ft. Sam Houston, here in San Antonio, 2 years ago with a friend who has returned, 40 years later, to the place where he had training before being shipped to Vietnam, leaving behind a wife and baby.

It was a weekend, and so we were often the only ones in a museum or room. The service person on duty would strike up a conversation and then, when they heard, that John had served in Vietnam, they would thank him. With all the military spir and polish, but one human being to another.


Friday, May 19, 2006

Immigration - an Emotionally Loaded Subject


The immigration legislation has stirred up a hornet's nest. We have known the cost of illegal aliens to "us," just as we know the cost of all the other benefits today that are so liberally spread around. It's painful, so we don't talk about it much ... and now we are.

It's a great country, the US. Probably the best place to live on earth.

  • Everyone's teen, these days, get braces, thanks to the corporate dental plan, a quasi-health thing that's mostly cosmetic. Yes there are jaw problems, etc., but one rarely dies of crooked teeth;
  • Liver transplant ... even if you drink like a fish? Not a problem. Free clinics ... corporate health insurance;
  • Coronary bypass? At the drop of a hat. Even a new heart and new lungs. Available in ways we couldn't have even conceived of 25 years ago.
  • Child disabled? "Special needs?" Ethnic minority? Roll out the special school bus that pulls up to their door, special classrooms and equipment, more teachers and aides per capita, therapy, counseling, far more personal attention than yours and mine, if they're "normal," or "gifted" but aren't ADHD, in a wheelchair, emotionally disturbed, speech-delayed, brain-damaged, Native American ... the list goes on.
  • And while it isn't adequate, once you're a "senior" there's a break in the medicine and doctor bills and surgery, although it isn't enough, and it becomes most of the monthly income, it is available.
  • Public housing, group homes, homeless shelters and housing programs for the homeless, and that wonderful Habitat for Humanity. To me -- and I would know -- private charity is the best thing since sliced bed. Why? Because it's VOLUNTARY. Our tax programs are not.
  • Have a "learning disability" and you get to take 6 hours to take the 1-hr. final, AND have someone read it to you or write it for you ... but not if you're just an average kid who studied, but finds it very hard.
  • Food stamps ... and St. Vincent de Paul. God bless St. Vincent de Paul.
  • FREE EDUCATION and transportation to go with it
  • College and professional school grants and loans

Yes, our country, the US of A has a lot to offer, and we keep trying. Every solution brings in a new problem, and it's always been that way. The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer, which is getting exponential, but at least if you work at McDonald's you can get rudimentary healthcare in the US, and everyone gets a high school education, so of course it's taken for granted, so there are those who toss it aside. Folks, there are countries on this earth where education is still a luxury!!

I'm following the story of a young couple a client has told me about who are not married, but wanted to have kids, and she is pregnant with conjoined twins who have spina bifida. They're shopping hospitals all over the country for the delivery and the after-care ... which will run into the millions quite rapidly. Who is paying for this? I don't know. I don't even know who's paying for the plane trips to other states to shop for the hospital. He has a minimum-wage job. She does not work.

(If you'd like to help, email me and I'll give you their website. If you don't care to help, if you're scrambling to feed your kids and figuring out how to pay next month's rent, sorry, you already are helping, because you work and pay taxes.)

Meanwhile, the "oppressed entitled" are eating up the money in the courts. Give them a hard time in the office and they have their EEOC phone number in their pocket, a pro bono law student's card, and they've memorized sexual harassment, the age for age discrimination, what constitutes intimidation (being asked to come in at 8:00 a.m. every morning? Not being allowed to wear a nose ring?), and their list of entitlements and rights, memorized better than any of your highly-trained and beseiged HR professionals will ever know the law and the policies.

Yes, there are iniquities and injustices in the work world, that's why we made the laws. There are also those who work the system and abuse it. The two apparently go hand-in-hand.

And then there are the "teeming masses" who came to our shores to get away from something, or find something. They must, at any rate, have felt something in the US would be better than whatever they left behind ...

We have welcomed them and I use the term "we" loosely. The Native Americans who "owned" this continent didn't exactly welcome "us," and "we" all came from somewhere else -- this generation, or the one before it, or ancestors in the 1700s, but nearly everyone living in the US has roots, way back or recent, to another country.

HOWEVER, there's something called assimilation. Joining the group you invade or infiltrate, and participating fully. There's hardly anything more emotional than "culture," which includes religion, because it involves the things that matter most to us - religions, our language, how we relate to families, how we handle sex and marriage, how the elders are cared for (or not), what we eat, how and when and where we sleep and with whom. Very personal things. Things we are very emotional about.

That they are learned, we forget.

There's no particular reason why in Falls Church, Va. we eat a meal with a knife, fork and spoon. It just happened that way. If, in French Morocco, they use the fingers of one hand liberally, and if, in China, they use chopsticks, it's simply because someone thought of it, started doing it, and then -- herd animals that we are, eager to fit in, fearing ostracism, everyone started doing it. Then, as happens with those things, it became a "rule" (the Smiths, in Hoboken, do not eat with their fingers) and even a law ("the Nbumwas in Nranaway put to death a woman caught committing adultery).

So what happens when cultures collide? When the language, the religions, the customs and the laws are different? Besides war, I mean.

What happens when a person leaves the country they were born in, and moves to another one?

I have a good example here in my hometown, San Antonio, TX. Some become fully present in their new homeland. Some do not. And I'm not an arm-chair liberal. I worked with the homeless for several years, raising funds, designing programs, writing grants, and getting in the trenches with my sleeves rolled up.

One of the interesting things I got to do was lecture the seniors honors seminars at the local Catholic college several times a year.

These youngsters were fresh, eager, and humanitarian (also mostly Catholic). I always had a free-for-all, because why lecture when you have bright young minds to listen to? Their questions were interesting.

They always used "they". They ought to provide ... and they ought to have special ... and they should find a way to ....

"Who are 'they'?" I asked.

"Them! The government...?" they weren't actually sure.

Back through it again, leading them on to use real words, 'we' established that 'they' should provide food for everyone, clothes, shelter, education, insurance, medical care, dental care, good jobs.

"Why?" I asked.

"This is the US," they replied.

"Who ARE 'they'?" I pressed.

"THE GOVERNMENT," they replied.

Dropping that for the moment, I moved along. "And what is required in return of the recipients of all these free things?" I asked.

No answer.

"Ok," I said, forging ahead, "you have a room-mate. You have more than he does. Just because, and also because you work a part-time job. He wants better clothes. He likes your Nikes and he wants your laptop, he thinks you should give him your Bronco, and take him to the Caribbean with your family on spring break. Are you up for that?"


"In fact his family can't pay tuition next term. How about giving up yours? Or asking your dad to take another job to pay your room-mates' tuition?"

They laughed. They thought I was making a joke.

"How about if you told your room-mate you'd give him some of your stuff provided he came home with you in the summer and worked on your dad's cattle ranch with you. I mean that's where a lot of your stuff comes from, right? "


Well, you see the loop here. Someone has more, someone has less. There are reasons why. It doesn't matter. Must everyone have the same? If one has more, must they give it to the other, no matter what?

Is it right that honors student Tim has more possessions than his room-mate Henry? It's not wrong. It's not right either. It's the way it is. There's no civilization not so contructed, and never has been on this planet, and those that tried "communism" are living today in ways that tell us what they tell us.

So here we all are. Some of us have been in the US longer than others. Most people in the US have more "stuff" than 3/4s of the people on this planet could even dream of ... and of course we want MORE! There are different ways we get this stuff -- inheritance, marriage, luck, hard work, smart work, work ... and taxes.

Another analogy -- the office buys a lottery ticket. 15 of the 20 buy in. The ticket wins. Does everyone in the office get part of the win? Want to give up YOUR share for those that didn't contribute?

When I worked at the homeless shelter, in this town that's nearly 60% Hispanic, it was declared a "safe haven."

The immigration officers could not pull up in front of the shelter and pick off the people who didn't have papers.

We had a housing program. We had houses to give away to homeless people. Let me tell you about it.

First of all, the houses were only for parents with kids. A single man, a Vietnam vet, couldn't have one. That is wrong, but I was the only one who thought so, and so that was the way it was.

Secondly, yeah, there were things they were supposed to do (get a job or have one, be in school, pay a minimal monthly supplement, do housework and repairs, meet with their 'team' and learn life skills), but that didn't always happen.

Thirdly, some of these houses were 1,500 - 2000 sq. ft. houses that at the time would've sold for $100,000. They were foreclosure houses, bought cheap through a grant. They were sprinkled all over town, not just on the southside. They were quite a gift, quite an opportunity. Better living conditions thatn 3/4s of the people on this planet would ever attain. Oh, and they were fully furnished with donated furniture and household items.

There came a discussion about whether those houses should be given to people who didn't have papers, people who were illegal aliens.

The staff and the Board were deeply split on this issue, along the sort of lines you can imagine. The same sort of thing we're talking about now, nation-wide.

I'm going to stop here. Might as well. There won't be an end to it. Much food for thought.

Now, here's something circulating the emails -- THEODORE ROOSEVELT'S THOUGHTS ON IMMIGRATION IN 1907 --

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people." - Theodore Roosevelt 1907

The person who sent me this, BTW, has a son-in-law from Iraq. He's got his papers, he works (hard), he pays his taxes. Last year he paid for his sister to fly over here (to the US) when she was 8 months pregnant. I guess nobody granting visas cared that she was 8 months pregnant and planned to stay for a while. She wanted to have her baby in the US, where the hospitals were better. Of course she had no money nor any insurance.

The hospital had to take her. I'm sure they wrote it off. Excuse me, raised their rates to you and me, the US taxpayer and solid citizen.

It's nice to help some woman out with her baby. Two things would've made it nicer: (1) She pays something for the service, or (2) YOU really want it to happen, and think it's wrong she be denied, so YOU pay for it out of your pocket.

If you want to live in the US and enjoy all the benefits, folks, come on now, ANTE UP.

And learn the language.

It's the least you can do.

With privilege comes responsiblity.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Handling Difficult People

DEALING WITH SOME DIFFICULT PEOPLE? Check out my latest ebook about dealing with difficult people, "Don't Corner Something Meaner Than You Are". Click HERE to order.Just $9.99 and packed with things you need to know.


Let’s start with Volatile People. These are some of the easiest “difficult” people to deal with because it’s transitory, because you get to see them at their best at least some of the time, and because you know (in your heart) they feel bad when they act stupid. These are emotional people who react poorly to stress. When things are going well, they’re generally nice folks, but when the heat goes up, they sizzle.

“I know my boss,” says Kareen. “Most of the time she’s wonderful to work for. But put her in tight shoes, an itchy suit, and hot pantyhose on a day when it’s 98 out, run her from one end of the floor to the other, then add laptop problems, a pressure-call from her boss, maybe a fight with her husband that morning … and she’s an ogre. I just stay out of her face on those days. “

What you want to do is avoid them when they are in a bad mood. Like a kid with a moody mother, study them so you’ll recognize the signs.

People who become volatile may have depression, a basic lack of resilience, a sense of inadequacy, a physical illness, chronic pain (mental or physical) or any number of things.

For instance someone who has a chronic disease like osteo-arthritis is coping with intermittent pain that can be disabling. Some days the pain will be worse, and this will shorten their attention span, ability to cope, and temper.

Someone else may be coping with a teenager on drugs, a wife threatening divorce, a sick aged parent – or all of these things. This makes them irritable, distracted, and, like a boiling pot with a lid on it, ready to blow. But not every day, not all the time, and they don't enjoy it when it happens. They "know better."

These people you can soothe and "work with" (which we go into in the next chapter), but this can't be said about someone with Paranoid Personality Disorder. If you have a boss who's paranoid you have to walk a fine line, if you choose to stay ...

To find out more, order the book.

Oxidative Stress is Dangerous

HAVE YOU TAKEN YOUR SUPPLEMENT TODAY? (Beneath the surface, things are happening.)

"You cannot ... I repeat ... you cannot survive oxidative stress. Nobody can survive oxidative stress unless they get outside help (supplementation)," writes Dr. Robert Gamble.

Arbonne offers the DefenseBuilder and Get Well Soon Dietary supplements - technologically-advanced formulas scientifically proven to nutritionally support your immune system. Go HERE to order. On special now.

from Dr. Gamble
"If Your Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me?"

Stress: You may survive emotional stress??

But, you cannot survive physiological stress...often called "oxidative stress".

First of all, what is stress? Stress develops in all of us as a "wear and tear" upon us mentally and physically from factors in our environment, though often brought on by our action... or lack thereof.

Our society has come to an impasse though. We face stress of all kinds today from a variety of causes:

- Ever increasing uncertainties in the financial and
employment world create stress??
- Medical problems create ongoing stress??
- Marital and family problems bring on stress??
- Stress is inflicted upon us through world events affecting gas prices, terrorism, and war??
- Emotional and psychological factors nurture stress.

These stress factors are potent but people do survive them and even thrive. However, you cannot...I cannot survive oxidative stress. Nobody can survive oxidative stress unless they get outside help (supplementation).

What is oxidative stress?

The newest and most dangerous threat to your life and mine is oxidative stress. Oxidative stress occurs when oxidative radicals exceed what your body can quench. Such radicals are those chemical species which contain one or more unpaired electrons, capable of independent existence. They develop in the body as offshoots of cell activity or as products introduced to the body from the outside.

As an analogy, think of running a car engine as the cell production and the car emissions the "radical" production. Such emissions stress the car internally unless removed. The engine produces products which cannot stay inside the car without further damage. They simply must be neutralized and expelled.

Radicals thus damage your body. Upwards of 200,000 radical "hits" is a normal "load" daily.

When radical damage is done, the body can remove the compounds formed by its cell repair system. However, if the body cannot handle the radical burden (with antioxidants for example), then disease can be the result.

Since they are highly reactive substances, they react with all sorts of cell elements readily. This is the ,stress which can physically kill. When the radicals do react with your body cells, they can damage the cells and even kill them. Often, the damage from radicals can change the cell structure enough to cause disease such as cancer, diabetes, arthritis, heart disease and a host of others.

It is known that our bodies cannot handle the radical damage we face. All of us are in mortal danger from oxidative stress. Dr. Les Packer at Berkeley is one of the world??s leading experts in antioxidants. He states that 73% of all premature death is due to oxidative stress. (Dr. Steve Nugent, How to Survive on a Toxic Planet, The Alethia Corporation, 2006) p. 12.

The implications are clear: Our bodies cannot any longer cope with the power of oxidative stress which brings on chronic diseases and premature death in record numbers...unless you get supplementation.

(for remainder of article, go HERE.)

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Your Child's EQ

Order "How to Develop Your Child's EQ" HERE.
eMail for private coaching - or
call 210-496-0678.

Don't wait! YOur child is going to need it.

Coaching in Emotional Intelligence - Now's the Time

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Internet Dating


It's the Merry Month of May. I'm sitting here in sunny San Antonio, where we're enjoying the last few days of temperate weather before the 98 degrees hits, and the weather is just perfect. Balmy and sunny. It's hard to imagine what's going on in the Northeast.

The thought for today:

If I look at the clouds and see a pair of lovers, how are you going to argue with me that it's not there.

The same is true of emotions, and emotional responses.

We all have things we're emotional about. Let's say "irrational." Let's say irrational FEARS.

We're like the kid who burned his hand on the stove, or got bit by a dog. You can talk till your blue in the face, the kid's not going near it again. Which in the case of the hot stove is a good idea. It's what you want.

But what about the things adults have irrational fears about. Especially the ones we aren't quite aware of.

This comes up a lot in dating, one of the most difficult communication tasks we face in life. We have to get to known a practical stranger, and to do so we must communicate.

If you're dating at midlife, let me help you. We can shorten the learning curve. I work a lot with people who are dating on the Internet and can help with some interpretation.

The trends are interesting. For instance I've been watching a site called As you probably know, there's a site for whatever you're looking for in a mate -- conservative singles, americansingles,, eharmony, Blacks, Hispanics, Asian, over 50, under 30. Most offer you the chance to put your profile on the net and also photos.

Men of course want the photos. There's a Polish proverb -- love enters a man through the eyes, a woman, through the ears. So the words are important to a woman, and Internet dating is good for that, because you can start by writing and reading words, then move to a phone call.

eHarmony sets up a bunch of questions you ask one another back and forth, before you start communicating on your own. You also can share personality profiles.

Well, Italianpeoplemeet is interesting because lately no one bothers to answer the questions, they just write, "I'll tell you later. Write me!" Is this "Italian"? Maybe so! At any rate, you know you're dealing with someone who doesn't like to follow rules they think are senseless, and likes to cut to the chase.

It's "catching." I filled out a whole profile, but now I'm tempted to go back and erase mine and write "I'll tell you later. Email me!" Oh what an unruly bunch! Wonder who started it.

Call me for dating coaching! 210-496-0678. $25 per 45-minute consultation. Onegoing, or one time. Whatever works for you. Email for a time - . Let me help make it more fun for you!

Sensualizing Your Relationship

New ebook by Susan. Order your copy now. Click HERE.

It's about hearts and flowers, yes. Both these couples are engaged with flowers, but there's a different energy.

Do you know how to get just the right tone into your encounters each time? Do you know what your partner likes?

A purely sexual relationship burns itself out. It also leaves us with a "hangover" -- wanting more, being irritable, groggy, prone to fighting with the one you love. It's "sexual tension" and can easily become unpleasant and annoying, because of all the fighting by day.

It's the "I can't live without him/her, I can't live with him/her" syndrome, that drives loving couples apart.

Sensualizing your relationship changes the pace. It's involving all the senses and brings a deep bonding process into your relationship that focuses on pleasure.

Order your copy now:, or email for instructions.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Boundin': How to Beat the Stress and Bounce Back

Word gets around. Susan Dunn is referenced 10,900,000 times on google. Thanks for helping us spread the word! We're here to help, and we want everyone to know about it.


I have a treat for you today if you haven't seen Boundin' before.

Click HERE to see the video.

Couldn't find a better illustration of Resilience, an EQ competency of Resilience. My sons plays it for his little daughter when she's had a hard day. This version happens to be in French, but you don't really need to understand the words. The message is clear.

So keep on dancin'!

EMail me to get started learning EQ.
One-time consultations welcome.

I'm getting more calls in two areas at this time -- about mobbing/bullying, and step-parenting concerns. Give me a call, 210-496-0678. (Best to email ahead to schedule s time.)

Semiramis reminds us there's a Full Moon coming up in deep passionate Scorpio. Time to look at your deepest yearnings. If you don't know them, how will the universe know them and send them to you??

If you don't know what you want, you probably won't get it. You can miss getting your deepest desire because you've lost touch with it.

Semiramis is offering $25 email readings and $50 phone readings during this time. Contact her at .

Loss of clear vision can get in the way of your relationships, or bring you warped versions of what you want. The perfect man only he's married. The neatest woman you ever met only she's 10 years older than you and doesn't want kids. The ideal companion but the physical is lacking. Dynamite sex, but you really can't stand her.

Scorpio is the soul-searching sign. Let Semiramis lead the way for you to ...

New research out -- there's one variable that immediately doubles your chances of living to be 100, and it's ... (choose one)

__ Eating broccoli
__ Walking 3x a week
__ Weighing 10% less than the recommended weight for your height
__ Weighing 10% more than the recommended weight for your height
__ Eating tofu
__ Arbonne's DefenseBuilder supplement
__ Having a college degee
__ Playing the harp (there may be something to that, check out link)
__ Living with a dog once you're past the age of 40
__ Being married
__ Living in a rural area
__ Working less than 50 hours a week
__ Taking a real two-week vacation every year once you're over the age of 35
__ Having less than 2 children yourself

Which did you choose?

Well, don't you wish it was one of these, and it is not.


Not fair?

Darn right it isn't fair.
There's nothing you can do about that. It's already been done. It's happened. You have it or you didn't.

Makes sense. The theorists have their ideas, but the notion's been around for decades that the DNA wears out (old eggs, old sperm) and fresh and young is better.

All the data on "first borns"? It turns out it's because they are the most likely to have had mothers younger than 25.

Now, it would be nice if it was one of the choices above, because those are things you can do something about. You could start eating broccoli. You could buy a dog or go to the pound. You could start walking.

However, there's nothing you can about the age of your mother when you were born.


Though people will try to argue about this, it's just common sense you get the IQ you're born with. You can learn more, maybe eek it up a point or two, take the test a second time when you've had more sleep ... but basically your IQ is set at birth.


And if you're destined to live to be 100, and want to enjoy it more -- learn EQ. If your mother was 35 when you were born, and you may not make it to 100, learn EQ and enjoy the years you have.

Those statistics are pretty meaningless when we talk about a certain individual, like YOU, or ME, and no matter how long your life, if it isn't meaningful, it you aren't able to enjoy it, what does it matter.

EQ is about wellness, and it's also about getting the most out of things -- out of your life, your career, your relationships.

One of my professors in grad school (psych.) told us that life was about "learning to let more in." Well, we keep things out, and back off from them, and limit ourselves and experiences because we are leery about "letting more in." Right?

At the extreme, this is my friend Gar whose best friend lost his wife when they were in their 20s and suffered so much Gar -- watching from the outside -- decided he would never risk falling in love, because he did not want to risk suffering like that. He has remained a bachelor his entire life and is now in his 60s. It's his choice, of course, but most of us would agree that he's missed a lot. He's missed good things and adversities, but he's missed fullness. (The Spanish say La vide es corta, pero ancha ... Life is short, but it is wide.)

Resilience -- boundin' back -- allows you to let more in, and also allows you to navigate those times when you get shorn and your dancin' shoes don't feel like dancin'.

Dance anyway! It's the Merry Month of May.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Floyd Patterson, RIP

"You can hit me and I won't think much of it...

... but you can say something and hurt me very much."

Real name: Floyd Patterson
Nickname: The Gentleman of Boxing
Weight: Heavyweight
Nationality: US, American
Birthdate: January 4, 1935
Birthplace: Waco, North Carolina
Death date: May 11, 2006
Place of death: New Paltz, NY
Boxing record:
Total fights, 64
Wins, 55
Wins by KO, 40
Losses, 8
Draws, 11
No contests, 0

Hysterical Mother's Day Video

This is absolutely hysterical.
You'll particularly enjoy it if you have an impossible sibling like this guy does!! Notice who provokes whom to do most of the hitting (and would deny it, of course).

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Is His Shaving Cream Making Him Sick?


If you love him, take care of him. You know he's not eating right, but you can help with Arbonne's DefenseBuilder supplement, prostate and heart supplements, Arbonne shaving cream with pure, natural ingredients (what he puts on his skin is absorbed into his blood stream!!!). He's yours. Make sure he's around for a long time . . . with Arbonne! (If you don't want to mess with the website, just call me at 210-496-0678 or email me and I'll order for you. Then you'll get a bigger discount. It's EASY.


All too often part of the work scene is mobbing and bullying. It's not your fault, unless you fail to do something about it. Order my ebook "Mobbing & Bullying". It tells you what it is, what to do about it, and how to make sure it never happens to you (or someone you love) again.

It's heart-breaking when you see this happen to your adult child or his/her spouse. Order this ebook NOW. Give it to your son, daughter or in-law.

And now for some humor (kind of)!


As any boss or manager knows, are all feeling more entitled to time off these days. Here’s the scoop from a new survey from CareerBuilder:

43% of workers said they called in sick when they weren’t at least once during the last year. This is up from 35% the year before.

The most popular reason for staying home – “rest”

Almost 23% of workers said they just wanted to relax and catch up on sleep.

17% said they just didn’t feel like going in.

16% attributed it to a doctor’s appointment

9% said they had to catch up on housework and personal errands

38% of workers said they considered sick days to be vacation days.

The most popular day for calling in sick was Weds. With 27% of workers taking Hump Day off.

Extended weekends were also popular, with 26% calling in on Monday, and 14% on Friday.

This is risky, as 63% of hiring managers said they are more suspicious of employees who call in sick on a Mon. or Fri.

Almost ¼ said they’d fired people for playing hookie.

(Could they have made these up?)

1. I’m too drunk to drive to work.
2. I accidentally flushed my keys down the toilet.
3. I had to help deliver a baby on my way to work. (someone not in a medical profession)
4. I accidentally drove through the automatic garage door before it opened.
5. My boyfriend’s snake got loose and I’m afraid to leave the bedroom until he gets home.
6. I’m too get to get into my work pants.
7. God didn’t wake me. (Employee didn’t believe in alarm clocks and thought “a higher power” would wake her when she was ready.
8. I cut my fingernails too short, they’re bleeding and I have to go to the doctor.
9. The ghosts in my house kept me up all night.
10. I forgot I was getting married today.
11. My cow bit me.
12. My son accidentally fell asleep next to wet cement in our backyard. His foot fell in and we can’t get it out.
13. I was watching a guy fixing a septic pump, fell in the hole and hurt myself.
14. I was walking my dog and slipped on a toad in my driveway and hurt my back.
15. My house lock jammed and I’m locked in.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Spring - Go with the Energy and Plant a Nice Crop for the Fall


I'm half-kidding ... but you know those looks they can give you. When he (or she) tells you you must get some rest, to go to bed for a week ... when you're a single mom with two elementary school kids in the house, and a dog that just had puppies. Fat chance!

Or when he tells you you're not eating right and need more vitamins and minerals AND you must also lose 20 lbs.?

Medical school is not the greatest for nutrition in the first place. Western medicine has focused one curing, not preventing. But don't get sick just to please your doctor! Get started now on Arbonne's DefenseBuilder and get your immune system built up. Combine it with Figure 8 Weight Loss System and you have a great one-two punch that will thrill your doctor ... but do it for yourself.

Shop with me safely online at MyArbonne. In fact my doctor sells it. To become a distributor, or click on website.

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Spring! It's nature's way of telling us there is always life after death, always a new beginning, always resurrection and transformation, always new growth.

Use the season wisely. Plant the seeds you will harvest in the fall. Select an ebook, take a course, call for a consultation, sign up for the EQ Alive! Program.


Monday, May 08, 2006

It's Not Over Till the Fat Lady Sings

Are you discouraged? Take heart. Call for a consultation - 210-496-0678. There's nothing like an objective coach!

Some words of cheer today from the Daily Guru:Today, from the Daily Guru

Success is connected with continuous action.
It's largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
You're not finished when you're defeated, you're only finished when you quit.

The most important quality essential to success is perseverance.
It overcomes almost everything, even nature.

You can have a fresh start any time you choose, for "failure" is not in the falling down, but in the staying down.
It's not over until it's over.

If you've got the courage to stick it out, you'll attain your goal.
Winning isn't everything.
Wanting to win is everything.


Is your Mom getting the nutrition she needs? Probably not, especially if she lives alone.

And even if she is, chances are she, like the rest of us, aren't getting the nutrition we need from the food we eat. It just isn't there any more.

Remember who told you to eat your vegetables, and help you grow up so big and strong. It was Mom. Now it's your turn.

ARBONNE offers a full line of supplements - immune system, heart, hormone replacement, essential fatty acids and more. All Arbonne products have pure, natural ingredients, and this company has done the research (Swiss). They do everything right - mfg in the US, delivered to your door, auto-ship available (big discount), no ephedra, no animal testing.

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Check it out and order some for your Mom for Mother's Day ... and thereafter.

It's the modern, grown-up way of saying, "Eat your vegetables, Mom!" No nasty broccoli. Just great nutrition. Our immune system is our first line of defense against bacteria, and our only line of defense against viruses. All those corporations have made a Bird Flu plan, have you? Isn't it time you started building up your immune system, and helping your Mom to, too?

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Narcissism...on the Rise? Can EQ Help?

IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, YOU'RE PROBABLY WORRIED YOUR MOM ISN'T EATING RIGHT. Well, we don't get enough nutrition from anything we eat these days, so keep why not order some ARBONNE supplements (immune system, heart, skin, fatty acid) for her. Click HERE to shop and buy. What price peace of mind?

NEWLY RELEASED -- MY INTERNET COURSE CALLED "MYTHS, MAGIC AND MEANING." Warning: It is of absolutely no practical value. It's just enlightening, beautifully illustrated, and sure to intrigue you if you like gourmet dining at table v. fast food thrown at you in the back seat of the car.

To order, click HERE. Or order via email, and send me $29.99 via PayPal, .

Myths are other people's religion. Their attempt to explain what science now explains i.e., how the sun gets across the sky every day; or to explain universal things like human nature, that we will never be able to answer, like why it drives women nuts when their man is unfaithful, or why some kids just won't listen and have to do it the hard way.

Here is a poem written by Theodora Goss called "Echo and Narcissus." For a little background on the myth, Narcissus was a gorgeous young man who spurned all the nymphs as not good enough for him, preferring to stare at his own reflection in a pool of water. Echo was a nypmh who got herself in trouble with Juno who was, in turn, having trouble with Jupiter's latest infidelity. Juno cursed Echo, taking away her words. All she could do was repeat back the last words she heard.

She fell in love with Narcissus the minute she laid her eyes on him. When she was pursuing him, he would say "Come here" and she could only reply, "Come here." It seemed like a fight, but he wasn't interested anyway.

The diagnostic term "Narcissism" is named after Narcissus. See symptoms below.


Echo calls from the hillside.
Narcissus is there,
And she plaits white-flowering clover
Into his hair.
The place where he lies is a tangle
Of elder, and vines
Of the honeysuckle dangle
As he reclines.

The pool is deep that he watches
And small fishes dart,
While Echo brushes the crickets
From his rags of shirt.
I saw them there one morning,
I and a deer:
His indescribable beauty,
Her constant care.
She echoed the sounds of the crickets
(What could she say?),
And he burned in his singular beauty
On the common day.
Now there's a pair perfect for each other ... and I don't mean that in a good way. Could EQ help? Well, first off, Narcissists lack empathy, and that's one of the competencies we teach.

Take a look at the diagnostics -- you must have at least 5 to get the "NPD" Narcissistic Personality Disorder).

1. Grandiose sense of self-importance, e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements
2. Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love.
3. Believes that he or she is "special" and "unique" and can only be understood by, or should only associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. Requires excessive admiration
5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his/her expectations
6. Interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his/her own ends
7. Lacks empathy: unwilling to recognize or identify with feelings and needs of others
8. Often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him/her
9. Shows arrogant haughty behaviors or attitudes

from The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV

Narcissists lack a number of EQ skills that can be learned. All the Narcissists I have known have been exceptional - incredible physical beauty or exceptional skills or talents like athletic ability or singing voice, universal sex appeal, genius IQ, charisma, some attention-grabber like being a twin, or a child prodigy at the piano. This fellow could be, if his parents aren't careful, and yes, parenting plays a role in this.

Narcissists have been "spoiled", though tortured as well, in a mind-warping parental one-two.

How could you send a child out of your home thinking they'd hung the moon and the stars, and, that having been done, the planets now revolve around them? Don't let your child or grandchild grow up with that narcissistic personality. Bone up on how to develop your child's empathy and other EQ competencies with my ebook, "How to Develop Your Child's EQ." Some of the research suggests it's partly because of parents who are too controlling and rigid, while flexibility, creativity, and interpersonal skills are all part of EQ. It's a book you MUST read if you're a parent or grandparent. You owe it to yourself, and you owe it to the child/teenager. Order HERE. This is not, of course, diagnosing or curing, because I'm not a psychologist or doctor or anything like that, it's just common sense coming from a coach who works in the field of emotional intelligence. If someone lacks computer skills, we teach them. If someone lacks interpersonal skills, we teach them.

Visit me on the web at,, 210-496-0678. Coaching, Internet courses, ebooks, business programs, 30 and 60-minute consultations. Email for fr** EQ ezine.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Want to be Rich? Filthy Rich? Here's the Key.


From Netscape: Money and Finance, we now know how to be rich. I mean FILTHY rich, not just a millionaire.

The secret? Be born a Virgo.

But let's look at what else is here.

Berkshire Hathaway's Warren Buffett and Oracle's Larry Ellison are Virgos. So are 12% of those on the annual Forbes ranking of the world's billionaires. That is, they were born Aug. 23 - Sept. 22.

According to our favorite psychic, Semiramis, this makes sense. "At the extreme," she says, "they are nit-picking, coldly rational analysts who think in terms of what's useful and practical." (For a reading with Semiramis, email her at .)

That sounds like my favorite Virgo. He was also very interested in money almost from infancy. He began by stacking things, and rearranging them, reminding me of Midas and his gold. When he got the role of Charlie in the chocolate factory, and sang, "I have the golden ticket," I thought it quite fitting.

I took him with me when he was 8, to a meeting with my CFE (financial advisor), and he sat and listened in rapt attention. He should be a actuary, she said. I gave him some money, we shopped for interest rates, and he bought a CD. I explained the power of compound interest. He never asked for any of the money. He waited.

Well, let's take a look at this from the EQ standpoint. We are talking about a very left-brained person. Detail-oriented, exacting, precise, focused, and certainly not emotional. At one end of the spectrum, we would have Dr. Spok. When we develop our EQ, we develop both hemispheres of the brain and the corpus callosum , the connection between the two.

After all, Midas has to switch hemispheres in order to ENJOY all that money, and sharing it WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

If you're running behind in the money department, you might look into developing your EQ. Being able to control your emotions is absolutely essential. Ask anyone who's in the market. Ask Warren Buffet.

Buffet started out with $10,000 in 1956 and today is worth some $8.5 billion. He is a major player on Wall Street, and famous for his Berkshire-Hathaway, which in true Virgo fashion, he has held, and has never split. He buys companies, and not to sell them. He defies many of the theories of investors, and just keeps making money, the same old way, good old plodding genius Virgo that he is.

For EQ - visit my website, or .

There's some hope for the rest of us, though. There's a gazillionaire in every sign:

Steve Ballmer: Aries
James Dyson: Taurus
Edgar Bronfman Sr.: Gemini
Richard Branson: Cancer
J.K. Rowling: Leo
Warren Buffett: Virgo
Ralph Lauren: Libra
Bill Gates: Scorpio
Steven Spielberg: Sagittarius
Roy Disney: Capricorn
Oprah Winfrey: Aquarius
Steve Jobs: Pisces

BTW, there are the least in Sagittarius. Spielberg should give you a clue!
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Susan Dunn is an Independent Arbonne Consultant.

For a reading with Semiramis, email her at .