Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Internet Dating


It's the Merry Month of May. I'm sitting here in sunny San Antonio, where we're enjoying the last few days of temperate weather before the 98 degrees hits, and the weather is just perfect. Balmy and sunny. It's hard to imagine what's going on in the Northeast.

The thought for today:

If I look at the clouds and see a pair of lovers, how are you going to argue with me that it's not there.

The same is true of emotions, and emotional responses.

We all have things we're emotional about. Let's say "irrational." Let's say irrational FEARS.

We're like the kid who burned his hand on the stove, or got bit by a dog. You can talk till your blue in the face, the kid's not going near it again. Which in the case of the hot stove is a good idea. It's what you want.

But what about the things adults have irrational fears about. Especially the ones we aren't quite aware of.

This comes up a lot in dating, one of the most difficult communication tasks we face in life. We have to get to known a practical stranger, and to do so we must communicate.

If you're dating at midlife, let me help you. We can shorten the learning curve. I work a lot with people who are dating on the Internet and can help with some interpretation.

The trends are interesting. For instance I've been watching a site called http://www.italianpeoplemeet.com. As you probably know, there's a site for whatever you're looking for in a mate -- conservative singles, americansingles, match.com, eharmony, Blacks, Hispanics, Asian, over 50, under 30. Most offer you the chance to put your profile on the net and also photos.

Men of course want the photos. There's a Polish proverb -- love enters a man through the eyes, a woman, through the ears. So the words are important to a woman, and Internet dating is good for that, because you can start by writing and reading words, then move to a phone call.

eHarmony sets up a bunch of questions you ask one another back and forth, before you start communicating on your own. You also can share personality profiles.

Well, Italianpeoplemeet is interesting because lately no one bothers to answer the questions, they just write, "I'll tell you later. Write me!" Is this "Italian"? Maybe so! At any rate, you know you're dealing with someone who doesn't like to follow rules they think are senseless, and likes to cut to the chase.

It's "catching." I filled out a whole profile, but now I'm tempted to go back and erase mine and write "I'll tell you later. Email me!" Oh what an unruly bunch! Wonder who started it.

Call me for dating coaching! 210-496-0678. $25 per 45-minute consultation. Onegoing, or one time. Whatever works for you. Email for a time - sdunn@susandunn.cc . Let me help make it more fun for you!

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