Saturday, March 31, 2007

Emotional Intelligence: The Kiss

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It's so easy once you get the secret --- that we are our emotions. And our emotions come from our thoughts. There is no emotion that doesn't have a thought attached to it. Our perceptions of life, our past experiences and emotions attached to them, the neuronal firing patterns we have developed in our brains, and our particular slice of reality.

Healing is about emotions. It's not all "in your head," but it IS all in your brain -- and, thanks to the vagus nerve, which extends from the brain down into the intestines -- in your stomach and intestines. Actually in every cell of your body, according the Candace Pert, Ph.D., who is one of the people largely responsible for the development of Prozac.

But why not learn, with emotional intelligence, to make use of your body/brain's OWN "prozac."

It's easy with emotional intelligence. It's the secret.

The thoughts propel the feelings. That's the secret. This video, actually, contains only words. Watch it and see how you feel, how you WOULD feel if you amped up your emotional INTELLIGENCE: for a free ezine about emotional intelligence.

One of the sweetest spirits who ever graced this earth.
9-15-78 - 4-1-99


Surgery Blurs Life and Death

The Miracle on Ice - 1 - MSN Health & Fitness


Have your heart attack in Wake County North Carolina, is one of the useful items this msn columnist found in researching a new procedure that blurs life and death. Emergency teams in Wake County are the first to have mandatory hypothermic treatment for victims.

Yes, there's a new-OLD procedure for treating strokes that involves cooling the body for not just minutes, but hours -- or maybe just a gutsy enough surgeon willing to go with his common sense. I'm not mentioning his name, for a reason. He's the SUNG hero, but there's an UNSUNG hero in this story.

20 years ago induced hypothermia, as its called, was only used as a last resort, when there was really nothing to lose, like surgery on a stopped heart. The body would be chilled down to 18°C (about 64°F), scary, as there are potentially serious side-effects such as frostbite, shock, pneumonia, death.

How did we discover the use of this procedure?

It was thanks to Raul Busto, a research assistant at the University of Miami.

The wonder of this story is that the person who wrote the article found this tidbit, and thought to include it in his article. Raul didn't get to write an article about his finding for the glorious JAMA; he didn't get to speak to the convention of neurosurgeons; didn't get a promotion to head the department or have a chair at auniversity medical center named after him. I don't know the facts but he probably didn't even get a raise.

Busto, observant guy that he is, simply noticed that even when bloodflow was cut off to a section of the brain in certain rats, they didn't have a stroke, and this in rats whose body temps were only a few degrees below normal.

There are people who lack the credentials, by choice, by chance, or by lack of opportunity, who are making tremendous contributions to our lives all the time. The diagnosis by the grandmother down the street, the perceptive comment of the nail technician, a caring neighbor who just notices something, the mechanic tinkering in his garage or the nascent genius in the computer or medical lab.

New systems are suggested by such people, difficult diagnoses are made, procedures thought up, and lifes are changed all the time by the unsung hero -- the person with high EQ (which includes observation, focus and common sense).

It's a shame that we have a system set up where only the Ph.D.s and M.D.s get the recognition -- and are granted the veracity. I consult in offices and I often find the quiet suggestions of the smaller players are ignored and not listened to. Why should a lawyer listen to his secretary when she says they're getting milked by the website designer? No credentials. Why should the CEO listen to the marketing person who predicts a trend that is clearly going to effect future profits. Not her field. Why should the "suits" in Miami listen to a coach who says that cruise passengers would attend lectures on self-help, astrology or engineering? Because everyone in Miami "knows" that all ALL cruise passengers want to drink and gamble ... except for the coach who cruises a lot and listens to the actual people on a cruise ship, wondering about the ship's engines, the stars they see on the romantic nights, and, yes, Virginia, they do not leave their problems at home when they cruise -- they come right along with them, sometimes in person, sometimes in their thoughts and hearts and Nancy Fenn's self-help lecture drew 30 people. (If you want to lecture on a cruise ship, by my ebook - )

The first thing I did when I was sent to a troubled apartment complex, back in my property management days, was to interview the people who actually worked on the property daily, so were forced to apply common sense to the problems at-hand. The leasing agent, the maintenance man, even the mailman could tell me the simple truth, from their EQ and observations, that told me what the problems AND THE SOLUTIONS were. They made me look good. I had the credentials, but thank you Mildred Mannigan for greeting me at the door of Concord Square Apartments with, "If they would simply ____, this apt. complex would be full tomorrow. Will you please TELL someone." If you're the 'they' -- listen.

All sing the unsung hero. Wherever you are, Raul Busto, thank you. Thank you for all the lives that will be saved because of you. And thanks to the "suit" that listened to Raul when he told what he knew.

Now go out and apply this!

Study EQ with me - .

Friday, March 30, 2007

Strict English Teacher Awarded $1.4 million

$1.4 million for teacher strict with grades - Education -

Ms. Payne was awarded this amount after the jury decided that the school administration had told her she had to raise the grades of the students she gave Ds and Fs to in her English class, and when she didn't, she was given demeaning assignments, and then fired. In retaliation, said the jurors.

TAKE HOME POINT #1: I love juries. We the people! I love what juries do ... and every lawyer fears one. One of the first things they teach you in the legal field is, "any jury can do what any jury can do."

I've seen cases (I'm sure you have too) where they award $1 for part of it, and then hundreds of thousands in the other part, to make a point.

TAKE HOME POINT #2: I'm an English major. I love the English language, and revere the written word. In the past 10 years, I have not seen a published book that didn't have a typo in it. For those of you who wonder why this would bother me, it's because during the decades before that, I never saw a published book WITH a typo in it. We just weren't that sloppy.

I have seen very few pieces of writing that didn't have gross grammatical errors - including national magazine articles, and legal pleadings, business letters, and Internet articles. Typos - not such a big deal on the Internet, but when someone's writing an article and can't make the verb agree with the noun, doesn't know the difference between "effect" and "affect" (or even worse, how to get around it witb another phrase -- that's possible too, you know) ...

Maybe we should be grateful for "the house of Payne."

TAKE HOME POINT #3: The people who ask our best from us. I don't know the "truth" in this legal case, we only know the verdict. However, if this teacher was, as I hope she was, fair but demanding .... don't you remember those teachers, mentors, and coaches who held up to you "the best you"? Who respected their SUBJECT -- whether they were teaching English or character or physics or gymnastics -- and respected YOU -- and combined the two by demanding that you learn to dot those i(s) and cross those t(s).

The bastardization of the English language is one of the tragedies of our times. Utilization of nominalized verbs, senseless jargon, teens who write to me (as Attract Your Ideal Mate on "i no hes no good. he sur has my intrest tho" and want to know why the guy won't pay attention to them ... youngsters who leave our school systems illiterate in TWO languages ...

If it's one law that always holds up, it's that you have to learn the rules before you can break them, and no one is learning the "rules" of the English language any more.

What's even scarier is that you don't know that you don't know. I've saved in my files, the Internet article of a person purporting to write articles for people, and create their websites, and it has several blatant grammatical erros, and a couple of typos in it.

The sad thing is that she's probably getting a lot of business!

IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE WORD ... it brought order out of chaos. Being able to "name" something is an incredible act. If you've watched a baby develop language, you know how much less frustrated they are when they can TELL you what they want, instead of just crying or having a tantrum.

One of the major thrusts of emotional intelligence is to be able to label your emotions, and to express the feelings in words -- and we aren't born knowing that any more than we know that red thing over there is an "apple."


And wherever you are Dr. Duda and Dr. Monihan (my two very strict Latin teachers), Mrs. Lightner (my very strict piano teacher), Ray Garrett, Jr. and Gertrude Hale (my two very strict character teachers). . . you were right. One day I did appreciate it!

And p.s. If you contract my coaching services, you can expect that I will demand the best of you, and the results can be quite amazing!

FREE mini-readings available by email. Send me your concern, question, issue, ruminations and I'll give you a free mini-reading.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Elephants on Parade in New York City

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I've found, in passing on this incredible event in video and photos, that most people aren't aware of this annual event.

How we love our elephants.

Is there an elephant like this in your office? She does her job, carrying a big load on her back, keeping focused on her goal, while the rest of the office functions pretty much like the crowd in this video.

For more, go here:

I can't put the copyrighted photo on here, but if you can find the one of the elephants starting to enter the Midtown Tunnel ... well there's the big neon sign there saying to report any suspicious activity.

Like an elephant parade therough the toll booth isn't? They were holding each other's tails at that point.

Interspecies love!

Mini-readings on any issues you want discussed. Email. Free. Just email me at .

[photo by semyon, public, on]

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Birth Order


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Does it matter?

As the world watches, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are preparing to adopt their third child.

Angelina and Brad will now have four children.

Maddox, from Cambodia, is 5
Zahara, from Ethiopia, is 2
Shiloh, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's own child is 10 months

Now look what happens when Brad and Angelina's adopted son from Vietnam, Pax, enters the family picture

Pax is 3 years old. So it will be
Maddox, 5 - a boy
Pax, 3 - a boy
Zahara, 2 - a girl
Shiloh, 10 mos. - a girl

This could make a Family Divide -- the boys (the oldest) and the girls (the youngest). It bumps Zahara down a "rung" in the family hierarchy. It makes Maddox even more the "oldest" and Shiloh even more "the baby." Are there now two "middle" children, or no middle child? Will Maddox feel a special burden as the oldest child, with another sibling to "take care of"? Will Shiloh try even harder to be "the baby"?

How will this all work out? Will they all be able to adjust?

Birth order has a big effect on our personalities, attitudes, perceptions of the world, and feelings of self-esteem.


Why so many US presidents were first-borns?
Does the youngest always remain "the baby" and become "the captured child"?
Does the middle child hate confrontation and always feel cheated?
Are first borns more murturing when they become parents themselves?
Is is true that a first-born male married to "the baby girl" is one of the best marriages? And that a woman who marries a man with sisters on each side of him will have a dream come true?
Are only children always "spoiled"?
Why are twins so popular with other kids?
Is an only child always a lonely misfit?
Do kids fight more the larger the family is?
How is the family different when a girl is oldest, v. when a boy is the oldest?
Does a marriage of two first-borns always have to be a disaster?

What would you do if you were Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and about to bring this new child into the family? What can you do about this in your own life - your own feelings from childhood, or things that are happening with your own children?

Email mini-reading free. Email me at to find out more about birth order and how it has affected you, or is affecting your kids, what's the best family plan, how to help each child cope ... whatever's on your mind.

Email me today for a FREE READING -

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Everyone's Talking about Emotional Intelligence

A SAFER PLACE by fernety (with permission)

Posts - Discussions of a BlondeVixen

Her friends are bouncing from one work drama to another, so she's reading Goleman to learn more about emotional intelligence. It's the BUZZ WORD in MANAGEMENT she says. Emotional intelligence ... the buzz word in management.

What took them so long?

Of course it's best to actively learn emotional intelligence, which you can through my Internet course, with or without coaching to accompany. The more, the better, though. You can really accelerate your learning curve.

We spend 8, 10, 12 hours a day at work ... 5, 6 days a week.

Won't it be nice when everyone knows EQ??


Monday, March 26, 2007

The Tiger and the Tiger Within

Psychology, articles and many more… » 2006 » July

When you study emotional intelligence you will learn about your three brains. One of them can act as primitive and as potentially harmful as a tiger. It pays to get to know this tiger within, so you can anticipate, ameliorate, control, and manage for more success in your life and relationships.

Take the EQ Course and learn more. Individual coaching available and recommended for best results.

"This has changed my life." Kathy T., March 2007

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Wired to Connect

public weblog('jaysen naidoo')

Yes, our brains are wired to connect. Connections, of the good sort, help eliminate or alleviate stress, help us cope better, emotional intelligence is built on a good support system and network, and we are wired to connect with other humans and also mammals. Many people's best buddy is a dog!

Studies show that ISOLATION is harder on our health than smoking, overweight, stress all combined. Think of that!

Emotional intelligence shows you how to work with this natural ability and need to connect with others at a meaningful level. We are our emotions ... if you aren't connecting with others emotionally, you can be alone in a crowd.

Must as I am ambivalent about cell phones, I always think of the connection. The cell phones start ringing at work around 5, and people start to wind down their days, and long for connection with their loved ones. Lovers call each other on the cell all day long, ot txt msg, and it makes them happy.

Stay connected!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Queen Elizabeth II to attend first Kentucky Derby

FOX Sports - Horseracing - Queen Elizabeth II to attend first Kentucky Derby

What a great title for an article. It's so eye-catching and heart-warming.

"Firsts" -- they are the biggest -- the very biggest events in life.

Recently I took my granddaughter on her first real plane trip (she had been on that 55 min. one from Dallas to San Antonio). Well, this one was from Dallas to D. C. We had planned a "field trip" tour for her to see the nation's capital, and were focused on all the things she would be able to see for the first time, but what she was most excited about was looking out the plane window. For the entire trip - up and back - she never took her eyes off the window of the plane.

All your own "firsts" are wonderful, and when you are with someone else on a "first," it can be just as wonderful, if you have the emotoinal intelligence competency of empathy, that is.

It takes you back ... it makes you remember how you felt on that same "first." Oddly I don't remember my very first plane trip, I remember my first trip AFTER I had take Geology in college. I looked at the ox bows especially (and was quick to point them out to my granddaughter). Every time you see something for a first time, you stretch something in your brain. Then when you revisit it, with new learning, you see it with new eyes again. And then when you use emotional intelligence and experience it with another person on their first, you can feel again the thrill you had.

New things are essential to emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence includes empathy - understanding that other people have feelings, and being able to imagine what they might be feeling.

It relies on nonverbal intelligence, another emotional intelligence competency. My granddaughter might have been afraid on her first real plane trip. Many are. How did I know she wasn't (besides her words)? Well it's all their in the nonverbals, a large part of emotional intelligence and how we express our emotions. Eye contact is always a big sign. "She couldn't take her eyes off" the plane window.

Well, I would like to be there when the Queen of England see her first Kentucky Derby -- the sport of kings, and a tradition for which we owe the UK a big debt.

She's seen a lot in her day, more than most of us perhaps. I wonder ...

You can increase the boundaries of your life, and deepen your enrichment greatly with emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence allows you to enjoy vicariously the experiences of others.

Learn it today ! Go to . With emotional intelligence you will learn what the Spanish say -- la vida es corta, pero ancha -- life is short, but wide.

Remember? And what you remember is the feelings ... remember your

First kiss
First time you rode your bike
First day of school
First fight with your lover
First job
First day at college
First date
First train trip
First trip out of the country
First new language you learned
First great art you saw
Your first opera

Eyes and ears wide open??

Sunday, March 18, 2007

This site may harm your computer - what's up with that?

This site may harm your computer


I've been told this same warning is currently on my website under the Google search. I went and looked, and yes, it is there. I had my computer specialist check out my site. He has all the latest stealth tools. He found no problems with the website. My website is my biggest marketing tool. I'm doing what I can, emailing google, and hoping this message of speculation will disappear in a couple of weeks without having done too much harm to my website. Mr. Throwing Beans' did (see article). In the meantime, I'm sure thinking about using another search engine in the future.

You know, a "may" is kind of like chicken little. Now do I have to put up on my site "this website will not harm your computer? Actually I'm trying to HELP people with this informative site." And who will read it with that google announcement of "speculation" on there?

What do you think of this?

Emotional Intelligence: The Amazing Skidboot

YouTube - The Amazing Skidboot
Skidboot is all about emotional intelligence, a philosophy of life and a man who knows how to live it.l

Emotional intelligence is about how to communicate, figuring out how to work with another being, how to avoid conflict, maximizing the potential of others, coping with hardship, getting through it together.

Nearly every EQ comptency is here, including focus and intuition.

Friday, March 16, 2007

The Importance of Emotion in Turkish-American Relations - Turkish Daily News Mar 17, 2007

The Importance of Emotion in Turkish-American Relations - Turkish Daily News Mar 17, 2007

An article by former US Consul General in Istanbul, David L. Arnett

He writes:

Practically all of the conflicts between the United States and Turkey, both past and present, can be explained by American lack of sensitivity to Turkish emotional responses and Turkish overreaction to perceived American arrogance. There is also a tendency by Turks to focus heavily on their own sense of outrage while downplaying the emotional effects of their own actions. I will draw upon a series of key historical events to demonstrate these points.

At the outset, however, I wish to avoid the irony of emotional responses elicited by an article dealing with emotional responses. This article touches upon sensitive issues that need to be brought into the open and discussed much more thoroughly in both Turkey and the United States. I raise them with the greatest of respect and genuine love for both my native country and the country that I now know has provided much of my genetic heritage.

What a great EQ statement that last one is. To read the full article, go here.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

EQ at WORK: Rotten to the core: How workplace 'bad apples' spoil barrels of good employees | University of Washington News and Information | Rotten to the core: How workplace 'bad apples' spoil barrels of good employees | University of Washington News and Information

According to the article, one apple can spoil the whole bunch. It really is amazing how much trouble one person can cause in an office (family, group, etc.)

What's especially bad is that I've found, from coaching people, that 'one bad apple' in terms of a workplace that's caustic thanks to one person (yes, it can happen), will spoil a person's attitude and conception of work in general. It's especially bad for "newbies" -- it you're just out of law school and land in a place like this, or have just changed career fields and your first taste of "marketing" is like this. Also, if you've just moved to a new town, you may generalize that that's what work is like in Dallas/New York City/Hope, Alabama.

This study reiterates how difficult it can be when the "bad apple" is established, has tenure or power, or (I would add) is related to the boss


1. Negative people are those who don't do their fair share of the work, who are chronically unhappy and emotionally unstable, or who bully or attack others.
2. One "toxic" or negative team member can be the catalyst for a complete downward spiral in an organization.
3. Vast majority of people surveyed could identify at least one "bad apple" that had produced organizational dysfunction.
4. Teams with one member who is disagreeable or irresponsible are much more likely to have conflict, have poor communication within the team and to refuse to cooperate with one another. Consequently, they perform poorly.
5. One bad apple can ruin it, but one good person (or 2 or 3) can't turn it around.
Negative outweighs positive exponentially.


Say the authors: "Managers at companies, particularly those in which employees often work in teams, should take special care when hiring new employees," Felps said. "This would include checking references and administering personality tests so that those who are really low on agreeableness, emotional stability or conscientiousness are screened out."

Administering The EQ Map would be a good idea. Also train your managers, HR, hirers and interviewers with my EQ Certification Program so they will know what they're looking at.

If you're stuck working with or for a negative person, I recommend you take my Difficult People course to learn temporary coping strategies. EMAIL for course - on the Internet, $39.00

Only alternatives these authors give are (1) isolate the person and let him/her work alone, or (2) fire them.

Learn emotional intelligence yourself and avoid being one of these powerful negative catalysts. The more savvy managers become, and the tighter the job market, the more you will sabotage your own career. EQ just helps!

Angelina Jolie Bringing Baby Home: EQ

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Looks like Angelina Jolie will be able to bring her new child home soon. Reports say that Angelina Jolie and Brad didn't "choose him," he was chosen for them by the agency ... and, that he is "a little bit shy."

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt visited the orphanage some months ago

Well, one of the things we deal with even when it is our biological baby is that we didn't choose him or her! Also, like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's new child, each child comes with his or her own personality, emotional makeup, intelligence, and so forth.

When you come to think of it, the only person we live with and love that WE get to choose, is our partner. That's a really exciting thought.


1. Where your child is concerned, it's the greatest learning experience in life because you get what you get -- a spirited child, a shy one, an emotionally intense child, a stalwart, steady child. Like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, you may be "given" one who is "a little bit shy." Who knows?

At the same time, you get to teach your own brand of "emotional intelligence" to your child. How to manage emotions, what they're good for and what they're not good for, that other people have feelings. How will Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt work with this child who is a little bit shy? It's different than having a boisterous, assertive, out-going extravert.

Some children are more naturally empathic than others. I had one who was a natural comforter, and who noticed when his family members were sad or angry, and then tried to help them. I had another who was just busy doing things most of the time!

2. Among all the other great things about your partner, it stands out that this is your CHOICE. We offer EQ - oriented dating coaching, so you can maximize your chances.

Whether it's for emotional intelligence training to guide your child, to improve your own EQ, or help with dating success, give us a call at (817) 741-7223, or email me at .

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Mixing Memory : What Does Your Music Say About You?#more#more

Mixing Memory : What Does Your Music Say About You?

I don't know about you, but when I meet someone with my same taste in music, to the same degree, I feel like I've found my soul-mate (and there aren't that many).

Vivo per lei ( -- I live for music

This study shows that a person's musical taste reveals a lot about them (emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually), and that we know it.

In one study, people asked to get to know one another on the Internet spent more time discussing music than all other topoics combined.

Were they talking about what they loved, or trying to find out about the other person -- maybe the same thing.

Great blog article by a cognitive scients and yes, cog. scientists have been on to studying music for a long time, as opposed to social scientists.

Monday, March 12, 2007

The Evening Bulletin - Lack Of Sleep Blurs Moral Judgment

The Evening Bulletin - Lack Of Sleep* Blurs Moral Judgment

First they were tested to determine their EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. The people with lower emotional intelligence did worse when sleep-deprived.

This seems to me like another one of those "study of the obvious" research projects (which is EQ, i.e., common sense), but always good to get confirmed. Whenever I read of one of these, I think of doctors. It always seemed to me (married to one through all his training and afterwards), that one of the things bring tested for during internship and residency, was the ability to function intellectually and morally while sleep-deprived. After all, a doctor's emergency patients don't conform to having their crises during normal waking hours.

Lack of sleep blurs mental and emotional ability, just like alchohol does -- it affects the brain, the higher faculties of the brain.

When you are running low on sleep, BE AWARE of what this does to your brain and adjust.

Other people sorely tested in this area are parents of newborns. More than a few cases of child abuse are the result of severe sleep deprivation.

Some tricks to remember when you're seriously behind on sleep:

1. BE AWARE that it will effect your judgment -- as well as other capacities. (The first to go is motor ability.)
2. Refuse to make any decision you don't have to.
3. Ask yourself through the fog, "What would I do if at my best?"
4. Know that you must control your temper when exhausted ... and do so.
5. Realize that certain drugs mask exhaustion, such as cocaine and phentermine.
6. Don't put yourself in positions requiring "moral" behavior when exhausted, i.e., working long hours overtime with that lucious boss of yours when you're both married, and both attracted to one another. Try and make sure someone else is there.
7. WARN your trusted other that you are sleep-deprived. They can then cut you come slack, and also help you monitor your actions. (Listen to them!)
8. Words/speaking are "behaviors." Guard your tongue. Say you are too tired to "argue" about this now. Ask for a time out. TAKE a time out.
9. Realize what tasks require "moral judgment" or circumscribed behavior, You can do math while exhausted, but if it's your income tax, are you more likely to cut a few corners? Probably. You can change the baby's diaper and fix the bottle, but are you likely to react in a short-tempered way to their emotional outburst? You bet. You can clean house when exhausted, but notice that you are more likely to sweep dust under the rug... there are few tasks, really, that don't involve good judgment. That's why emotional intelligence is so important -- it applies to the most important things in life. Being sleep-deprived is like being drunk. You can put together a casserole, but if it drops on the floor, would you scoop it back into the casserole or throw it out, like you're supposed to?


People with high emotional intelligence are SELF-AWARE and this allows them to monitor their own behavior, as if watching someone else. This is called the "observing ego" and not everyone has it.

*These subjects were deprived of sleep for 53 hours.
There is always something known as "sleep deprivatio psychosis" (often referred to by medical students and new parents) where you lose it all.

As they say in the article, when you've got something important to decide (or do) -- SLEEP ON IT!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Tune Up Your EQ » Blog Archive » The 3 Top Ways To Tune Up Your Emotional Intelligence

Tune Up Your EQ » Blog Archive » The 3 Top Ways To Tune Up Your Emotional Intelligence

You'll enjoy reading this site and learning more about emotional intelligence. It is a worldwide phenomenon and for good reason. We all speak the same language with our feelings.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Who Packed Your Parachute?

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<----these folks pack my parachute!!

FROM RAYMOND THIS LOVELY PIECE ... maybe you got it in your email. Notice the emotional - spiritual - physical - mental -- the EQ Checkin(r) I use with clients.

Be sure and thank the people who have packed your parachute.

Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience!

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb.

"I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked !" Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?"

Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory -- he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachutes.

Want to get the balance back in your life. Take The EQ Course. Or call (817) 741-7223 for immediate service. Coaching and consulting. No contract required.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Malaysian CEOs Lack Emotional Intelligence

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by Hamisah Hamid, Times

"Malaysian chief executive officers (CEOs) are highly driven but lack emotional intelligence and coaching, according to a leadership consultant.

Linkage Asia president, Samuel M. Lam, said the study by Linkage Asia showed that Malaysian CEOs do not differ from global CEOs in terms of leadership ability.

"Global executives and Malaysian executives share the same high drive, and there is also no difference in terms of profile.

"But on closer examination, emotional intelligence and coaching/nurture are the lowest in Malaysia," he said at a breakfast forum in Kuala Lumpur last week

Lam said global CEOs are also weak in coaching but they have high emotional intelligence.

"What makes Malaysian companies successful is their leaders' drive. But what needs to be improved is emotional intelligence and coaching," he said.

To read the rest of the article, go HERE.

WANT TO IMPROVE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE? Take the EQ course and/or EQ coaching. Email me at

Saturday, March 03, 2007

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Full Moon / Emotional Intelligence


Because of the business I'm in, I can tell you that right now many people are crabby, out-of-sorts, emotionally volatile, and emotionally under the weather right now. Relationships are being stressed.

It is a full moon. This has been well-documented to fill up jails, counselors' offices and hospital ERs, and confirmed by doctors, ministers and therapists.

It is also a lunar eclipse, thought to be "a full moon on steroids."

How are YOU doing?

Part of EQ is separating out what's internal and what's external. 911 for example, upset nearly everyone. It was an external event with near-global impact. If you then (1) picked a fight with your partner, (2) went on a spending spree, (3) ate potato chips or ice cream and gained 5 lbs., (4) began to worry about a million other small things - etc. you were choosing self-limiting and injurious ways of coping with the emotional force field going on.

Take the emotional intelligence course and learn more about you and your emotions -- and their emotions. It will help you balance and stay centered.

King Ping: ping your favorite services when updating your blog.

King Ping: ping your favorite services when updating your blog.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Danny Meyer believes in emotional intelligence

DANNY MEYER IS A BIG BELIEVER IN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ... and often referred to as "America's most innovative restaurateur"

The folks on JoyfulJubilantLearning talk about Meyer's new boook, "Setting the Table: The Transforming Power of Hospitality in Business":

Meyer is a big believer in emotional intelligence. He lives by it and looks to surround himself with it in the partnerships he selects, eagerly collecting mentors and savoring their wisdom— yet another way in which their classics become his innovation. Self-awareness and integrity are often mentioned as traits he values; they are the common threads running through his “five core emotional skills” sought in the hiring of a staff he refers to as his “51 percenters” (skills divided 51-49 between emotional hospitality and technical excellence) and through a list of nine specific traits he believes define the mind-set and character of his critically important managers.

Meyer describes himself as a “high touch leader” and a “bottom-up manager who subscribes to the concept of servant leadership” and he says, “I believe that leadership is not measured just by what you’ve accomplished, but rather by how other people you depend on feel in the process of accomplishing things.” (pg 217)

The management philosophy Meyer speaks of is a kinesthetic buffet of terms like “constant, gentle pressure” (he explicitly describes the gravity of each of those words) and he is a master of the metaphor. Several are sprinkled through his book, giving it a stickiness this reader is sure to remember. In particular I loved his explanation of why those new to management have to understand the instant appearance of megaphones, binoculars, and fire. In explaining fire, Meyer masterfully illustrates that a high touch, servant leader who understands that ultimately, all employees are "volunteers,” is no wishy-washy softie.

“With each year I’ve spent as a leader, I’ve grown more and more convinced that my team – any team – thirsts for someone with authority, and power, to tell them consistently where they’re going, how they’re doing, and how they could do their job even better. And all the team asks is that the same rules apply to everyone.”
—Danny Meyer in Setting the Table, page 198

To read the full article, go here.

To increase your own emotional intelligence, go here.