Emotional Intelligence with The EQ Coach

The peaceful moment
A BLOGGER WRITES about a moment of emotional intelligence:

Before the Storm
Sitting in my car watching the sun rise, I’m calm. I just finished a workout at the gym and found a quiet spot on a quiet road to pull over and enjoy my breakfast-to-go. This may be my last opportunity to feel this way for a while.

On Saturday, I leave for Italy; then one day after returning, board another plane for Malaysia. Frantically preparing for two weeks away from my home & office is all I’ll be doing once I pull away from this calm spot. So I linger - chewing on my bagel - and enjoy the last few moments of quiet before a firestorm of activity kicks in.

This struck me as such a great example of emotional intelligence. This is someone who really knows themselves, and their feelings. And good vacabulary, i.e., he might have said "before the nightmare begins" or "before I go nuts," or dramatic things like that, be shows remarkable restraint in this writing.

These are feelings we can all relate too - the frenetic energy of travel and being away from homw, especially for business.

But how many of us have the emotional intelligence to find a quiet moment and pull over the the side of the road and rest.

Well, I did the other day. I'd been in the car seemingly all day. Well, a drive, then a 3-hour appointment, then an hour's drive, and I arrived at the destination early. It was mid-afternoon, and I've never really wanted to give up my preschooler's afternoon nap, so I pulled off the road to grab 40 winks. Except in this case, I pulled into a large and empty church parking lot, because I thought I'd be safe there. I was way over by the dumpster, and there were just a couple cars way over on the other side.

I laid back the car seat, opened the windows, and leaned back to relax. Several minutes later there was a knock on the window. Some man was concerned about the daycare there and not wanting the children to ... you know. The knock on the window scared me and took away all the good effects of the rest.

So - remember - it's emotional intelligence but alsological/intellectual intelligence, i.e., next time I won't choose a church parking lot!

And back to our friend, above. I feel sure he handled the travel well. He sounds like that kinda guy.

Call Susan Dunn the Emotional Intelligence Coach for help in increasing your emotional intelligence. I offer online courses, email support, phone coaching, and in addition, I train and certify coaches internationally. Don't wait. Do it now. Before the firestorm of activity begins. Again. sdunn@susandunn.cc or 817-734-1471.

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Matters

This could be the most important article your read this year about emotional intelligence, love, relationships, dating, and success.

What the science of human nature can teach us: newyorker.com

October is Emotional Intelligence Awareness Month

Emotional Intelligence is my field and so this has been a special month for Susan Dunn, Emotional Intelligence Coach. Eq is often what makes or breaks your career and relationships, and your general sense of well-being about life. What's most important to know is that EQ is not set at any given point in life. It can always be learned and improved.

So I invite you to get started now during Emotional Intelligence Awareness Month. Call me for coaching at 817-734-1471. I have offices in Manassas, VA and Chevy Chse, MD. In addition to individual coaching (in-person or by telecommunication), I offer intensive seminars in the DC area and Dallas, TX area. You can email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information.

I also train and certify Emotional Intelligence Coaches, and if there's now a month for its awareness, you know how important emotional intelligence has become.

The HIGH EQ Way to Choose the Right Man for You
Take a look inside him. Ask yourself these questions.

1. What's his EQ? Did you know you can measure it? Since your relationship depends upon your interpersonal skills, it would be smart if you both took the EQ-Map© and then worked with an EQ coach on areas needed. EQ can be learned. Go here - http://tinyurl.com/z94t .

2.Does he have deficits in the limbic brain? This is about eye contact, oxytocin, bonding, parenting, affection, using the word 'we'. If all you're getting is reptilian (sex ) and neocortex (intellectual), why give up good closet space when a Rampant Rabbit and Wikipedia would do?

3.How's the left- right brain balance? Talking to someone who's all left-brain is like getting facts from a machine. Talking to someone who's all right-brain ' they may not be organized enough to show up for the talk!

4.How 'male' brained is he? According to Simon Baron-Cohen ( http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0738208442/susandunnmome-2 0 ), the extreme male brain is good at systematizing, and low on empathy. It takes the average male 7 times longer to process emotional information than for a woman to. What if it takes him 70 times longer? What if he can't get there at all?

5. How does he manage his anger? You need to experience this. Don't make a decision until you've had your first big fight. Make sure you both trust yourselves and the relationship enough to be able to disagree openly and come to a resolution.

6.Will he be there for you? As Oriah Mountain Dream says, will he 'stand in the middle of the fire with [you] and not shrink back?' It's a sign of maturity and character to be able to stand and deliver when you feel like running.

7.Can he be faithful? This isn't a philosophical issue. If it happens to you, it can hit you in the gut.

Male infidelity may be intellectually defensible, but emotionally it destroys the covenant of the relationship the way the radioactive contamination from a nuclear bomb destroys vegetation. It won't be coming back in your lifetime, and without it, there is no relationship.

8.Does he know enough is enough? One should never use more force than is necessary. Can he think before he speaks and then deliver just the right amount. And no more. It shows empathy, self-confidence, and self-control. This means resisting all urges to deliver the big one-two he knows would really really hurt you in a verbal argument.

9.Do you laugh together? If there's anything you can count on to get you through the long haul, it's a sense of humor. Wit gets bonus points with me. It can be used in public, and can save your marriage on a 6-hour car trip with a carsick kid and a broken air-conditioner. Silliness -- now that's the sign of true lovers.

10.Does he say nice things to you about you and the relationship? The formula is 3 positive things for each negative thing. Does he do this? Is he willing to learn?

About the author: ©Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks on relationships, emotional intelligence, career, transitions, retirement.

Susan is the author of 'Midlife Dating Survival Manual for Women," available here: http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html , the best ebook library on the Internet.

For FREE EQ ezine, mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc and put 'ezine' for subject line.

Is a Disruptive Doctor making your Work Environment Hell?

I hate to say it, but ...




No, the person I was talking to today did! She's a counselor, and when I told her "5 minutes of anger suppresses your immune system for up to 8 hours", she said she'd never heard that.

That's the "thing" I use to convince the people who get off on being angry, and are such a source of stress to other people. They're ruining their own health too, of course, but they aren't aware of that.

My EQ program is full of empirical (researched) data that is impossible to refute, and will convince the most cynical person. Um, I have worked with disruptive doctors, annoying lawyers, meddlesome daughters-in-law ... teachers who think they know it all. These people who can't manage their anger and really don't want to, can make life hell for the rest of us.

I also offer the highly-acclaimed DIFFICULT PEOPLE course. It might be just the thing for you.

Email me for more information. sdunn@susandunn.cc
I work internationally by phone and email, and my core courses are on the Internet. I also have offices in Manassas, VA and Chevy Chase MD for your convenience.