Brain Cactus for the Brain Coach

Just got this from my sister - a brain cactus for Halloween. Perfect for me since my specialty field is emotional intelligence, aka, Neuroaffective Science.

Yes, Emotional Intelligence is about the triune brain - the reptilian brain, the limbic brain, and the neocortex. The neocortex is the one that has "the left brain" and "the right brain."

How these brains all work together is about balance ... is about wellness ... is about resolving internal conflict ...

Now, one word you've been hearing more about all the time is INTUITION. In fact I talked to a psychiatrist the other day about the topic - how it used to ALWAYS be linked with "female intuition." He sighed and said, "I wish I had it."

Well you hear that GPS is "intuitive" (actually it's more "right brain") and there's ow a perfume, and you name it. But what IS intuition? How do you get it? Does everyone have it? How do you differentiate it from wishful thinking?

It's important that you learn, develop and understand the emotional intelligence competencies, and believe you me, they are misunderstood. Take this clip about "positive thinking" I got in the email bad today:

Beware of too much positive thinking.

Focusing on what you want is great, but ignoring potential downsides will lead to trouble eventually. Most people didn't see the credit crunch coming - certainly not the banks or the government. So every so often, do a 'minesweep' of your plans. Ask yourself "What could go wrong? How can I minimise that risk?"

No! No! That's now what "positive thinking" is. "Learned optimism" is the facilitator of all the EQ competencies, but it isn't "positive thinking" and it isn't what this guy is talking about.

What is it? How can you increase your EQ? Take THE EQ COURSE. It's fascinating. In fact most people call it "the missing piece."

P.S. Learned optimism is about attribution. Want to learn more? email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . You'll love learning neuroaffective science, learning more about how your brain works, and what to "do" about emotions.

I am an optimist - Winston Churchill

DO YOU ALWAYS FAST-FORWARD TO THE WORST-CASE SCENARIO??

“For myself I am an optimist, it does not seem to be much use being anything else”- Winston Churchill

"Learned optimism" is part of emotional intelligence. Resilience, for instance, (an EQ competency) means being able to bounce back from setbacks, losses and defeats and still retain hope and good spirits -- in other words, remaining optimistic.

It means not attributing bad or ambivalent things as "personal, permanent, and pervasive." This means, if she doesn't answer your email, DON'T THINK it's because she doesn't like you (personal), that no woman ever will (permanent), and/or that you have this sort of rejection in all areas (pervasive). Think instead that, like all the rest of us, she may be busy or having troubles with her computer. Or think about the fireflies outside!

We consier optimism to be the FACILITATOR of Emotional Intelligence -- because if you don't think you can do it, why would you even try?

In the new training program the Army is instigating (see post below), they will start teaching soldiers how to change their thinking, to build resilience (and stress tolerance). For instance, if they call home and their wife doesn't answer, don't immediately go to, "She must be out with another man."

Think of all the times you fast-forward to something that is probably unlikely AND makes you sick. Working with your own self-talk is part of emotional intelligence.

Is Emotional Intelligence Just the Fad du Jour?

Is Emotional Intelligence Just the Fad du Jour?

OR IS IT THE KEY (Click on link to read full article)

QUOTES FROM AROUND THE WORLD

“Top leaders are getting in touch with their emotions and those of their staff as intuition and emotional intelligence become the hottest management buzzwords.” (Australia)

“Let me leave you with the million Ringgit question,” writes a Malaysian consultant. “Is it imperative to measure our emotional intelligence and take appropriate steps to bridge our EI gaps? Only you can decide. I rest the case with you.”

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN EQ IS LOW?

It’s expensive in terms of lost money, opportunity, time, relationships, promotions, careers, projects, goals, accomplishments, self-esteem, marriages, physical and emotional health, and even life.

– 75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies
– 70% of the reasons why customers and clients are lost are EQ-related
– 50% of time wasted in business is due to lack of trust
– Seniors get worse in hospitals when the physical therapists don’t engage with them
– Counseling clients fail to change because their counselors lack empathy or optimism
– 50% of marriages fail
– Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for youths aged 15-24 in the US
– Think this is because of industrialized society? Think again. Samoa has the highest suicide rate in the world.
– Impulsive boys are 3-6x as likely to be violent adolescents
– Low levels of empathy predict poor school performance
– Gifted children manifest a near “blindness” to social cues which leads to isolated and sad childhoods
– Doctors with poor EQ skills get sued more
– 75-90% of visits to primary care physicians in the US are due to stress-related problems
– Pessimists live shorter, unhealthier, unhappier, lives, and are less likely to achieve their potential than optimists
– College students in a study with the same IQ and GPA who did not write down their career goals with Intentionality were 50% less successful 15 years later
– Perfectionism is potent. Perfectionists produce better work, get better grades, get enormous positive feedback. Perfectionists also have a markedly higher suicide rate.

Can Happiness Be Learned?

JANUARY 20 - THE MOST DEPRESSING DAY OF THE YEAR
Declared by a scientist in the UK

Does this have to apply to you? With emotional intelligence you can create your own happiness. Can happiness be learned? It's not a light question.

The answer is a resounding yes - I see it happen all the time when I coach emotional intelligence.

It's even moving into the college classroom (at last!)

From an article in the New York Times:

[The write attended a class called the Science of Well-Being] "...essentially a class in how to make yourself happier — at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va. George Mason is a challenge for positive psychologists because it is one of the 15 unhappiest campuses in America, at least per The Princeton Review. Many students are married and already working and commute to school. It’s a place where you go to move your career forward, not to find yourself."

The class is taught by a professor whose area of research is “curiosity and well-being.” According to the article, the course covers such emotional intelligence components as optimism, gratitude, mindfulness, hope, and spirituality. It also emphasizes the difference between meaningful and authentic happiness, and "the hedonistic treadmill."

Typical of the suspicion many have regarding anything "emotional," the syllabus makes it clear that "every topic ... [will be approached] as scientists” and, like in my emotional intelligence certification program, the assigned readings are academic, but the "classroom" exercises are not.

Optimism is the facilitator of all the emotional intelligence components. It can increase your lifespan up to 10 years (as big a 'significance' as smoking or not-smoking) and if you've got your EQ going, you'll add ... and 10 years you'll want to live because you are happy.

Read the article here.