How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams

WHAT STEPS DO YOU TAKE TO ATTRACT THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS?
by Susan Dunn, MA, Relationship Coach

As Find Your Dream Man Expert for a major website, I get lots of questions, but I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me before what precise steps to take. I thought it was a great question, and here’s my answer:

1. Sign up with a Relationship Coach.

When you're really ready to get serious, make the commitment to work with a Relationship Coach. A good one can tell you, from listening to many other women in the same position, what works and what doesn't. They will also shape this general knowledge to fit you as a unique individual. This is worth every cent. As a Relationship Coach, that is what we do. Never was it more true, "Never give advice in a crowd."

That having been said, I'll give some general advice—to the crowd.

2. Make the list.

You know what I'm talking about. Particularly pay attention to "must have" and "can't stand." I have clients make 3 columns - what they want, what they don't want, and in the middle, "rule out." For instance if you demand that your dream man have "no kids." Well, this could really be something to take a look at. Some men have that situation well-managed and others don't. It is essential to review this list with your Relationship Coach, who can direct you concerning what is too rigid, what is too idealistic, what is superficial and will not get you what you want, etc.

3. Envision what you want - see it, feel it, smell it, give it life.

Imagine that he is already with you. Picture him putting groceries in your refrigerator, walking your dog, kissing you goodbye in the morning.

4. Scrupulously clean up your Self-Talk.

Likely you'll be thinking about this a lot, so it’s important that you think about it right and clean up your "self-talk." Remove all negatives in the thoughts that run through your mind (or that you actually verbalize), i.e., you do not dream of a man who isn't a drug addict or alcoholic, you dream of a man who is mentally and emotionally healthy. Dream of a man who has a good job and career history, don't think "I don't want another man who can't hold a job." Your subconscious does not hear the "not" or any other negative word or term. If you say, "I want a man who's substance-dependent free," even then it hears "substance-dependent." Work on this.

5. Take action. Do something. This gives you back your Personal Power (an EQ competency).

Granted an old flame from college may call you, but just the act of getting out to meet men will speed the process. Work with your Relationship Coach for ideas on where the kind of man you want might be found. Bars and dance halls aren't the best bet for "dream man" material. The women I have worked with in my Relationship Coaching practice have found their dream man in these places: SCUBA diving class; Sunday school; volunteering; introduced by his sister; at a singles' party at a friend's house where everyone single was invited to bring a single friend who was available; introduced by their children; bowling league; through eharmony or other Internet dating sites (I cover internet dating in my eBook, "Dating Survival Manual for Women."


I should add here that the woman who used to cut my hair met her husband at a bar one night. She brought him home, he stayed the night and never left. It does happen. It is statistically improbable. And I don’t know about you, but all those statistics always land right on my head. I’m not much on trying to beat the odds. No other woman I’ve talked to who has slept with a man on the first night has kept him. I don’t know a long-married couple that met in a bar. Was she just lucky she could break the rules like that and win?


Come to think of it, they’ve only been married 2 years. I ought to check and see how it’s going. After all, Dream Men are forever.

6. Work on you.


Dream Guys are looking for Dream Girls. Are you one? Or do you need a little polishing up?

7. Be happy.


It’s contagious and its attractive.


Are you miserable because you’re single? If you’re miserable single, guess what? You’re going to be miserable married. If you aren’t happy because you don’t have something, having that something isn’t going to make you happy. You can project your need in such a way that it will drive a man away, because he will think there’s no way he could ever fill up that empty hole. Assume a virtue if you have it not, and act your way into happiness. Actually happiness isn’t a permanent state; but some people make misery a permanent state. It has a nasty way of becoming habitual.

So those are a few of the steps.

But the single best thing you can do is make a commitment to get Relationship Coaching. Put your money where your mouth is, so to speak. Pay someone who has had a lot of experience and can shorten your learning curve and save you a lot of grief. After all, if you knew how to attract your Dream Man you would already have him, right?

You probably spend more money going to movies and eating out, and where has that gotten you???


For relationship coaching, call me at 817.741.7223 or
mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .