Sunday, May 06, 2007

Dislike Royalty love the Queen

Americans dislike royalty but adore the queen - Yahoo! News

This is so like emotional intelligence (EQ). And isn't it the truth! Historically, "we" left the UK and came over here to get away from that sort of thing - queens and kings, popes and princes, nobles and knights, privilege and peasants ... but when they come to visit, we love it.


It's like emotional intelligence. We may blanch at the thought of learning empathy, communication skills, social graces, etiquette and aplomb, and other emotional intelligence skills, as CONCEPTS, and may not even understand them, but when we meet someone who has them, we are entranced and enchanted.

It's common to dislike something at the conceptual level, or as a stereotype, i.e., "I don't like people from the South," but then when you meet an individual, your perceptions change. Which is generally all to the good! If you are rigid, they do change, and you become the person unwilling to be persuaded by reality.

So be willing to give new things a try, or to try on new things.

How can we not thrill at the visit from the Queen of England? Why? Just because.

Most of the time, she never lets us, or her people, down. Since I was in PR, and lived in the world of "being a presence," I probably have a special appreciation for how she conducts herself; and it requires incredible emotional intelligence.

When she's out and about, she is not a person, not Elizabeth, not a woman of a certain age, she is representing -- representing the kingdom on Great Britain. She can't allow herself a foul mood. If her shoes hurt, she can't pay attention to it. If someone says something rude to her, she can't act like a "person," because she isn't -- she's the Queen. If something untoward happens in front of her, she must maintain her composure. For her, when she's out, the cameras are always rolling, and she 'stands for' something far beyond who she is as a person. This is an obligation, a responsiblity, a privilege, a job ... and she does it well.

She also relies on a huge entourage to keep her going. Maybe someone who can find shoes that don't hurt. Who researches the temperature to make sure she has an appropriate outfit. Who, as we learned, teaches other about the proper protocol when in the presence of the Queen of England. Who looks into the people she'll be meeting and finds out about them, so she can make intelligent conversation. In other words -- she has many coaches!

If you're smart, you do this for yourself (and/or hire a coach). If you want to make intelligent conversation that is pleasant to others, you have to know what you're doing. Things like someone who just lost a baby or a job, someone who is new on the scene, someone who has a speech impediment, someone who has political leanings you don't want to bring up ... all that sort of thing. It can keep you out of trouble? You also need to learn the ways to save yourself when you have blundered. Do you know what to do when you don't remember someone's name? Do you know what to say when you're inadvertently insulted someone? Do you know who gets seated first, and what we're supposed to do about opening the doors for women these days?

It pays to know these things! Get some EQ coaching. You'll love it!

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