The UNempowered Parent

Parenting coaching is often about empowering adults, empowering parents to get back in charge, and that's a sad fact.

The article about Astro Boy includes -- "another story about a boy who knows more than the adults around him." And we wonder why the problems with this generation!

I do volunteer work with at-risk teens, and beyond the obvious things you would imagine, I find their parents are often "clueless." More than that, sometimes "helpless and hopeless." Somehow they've lost control and it's gotten out-of-hand. For instance, instead of preventing fights between siblings, or stopping them, they call the cops. Teens -- since the beginning of time -- THINK they do know more than adults, but never until this time-period have we had children's literature that supports this ridiculous notion.

If a kid can't count on the adults in his/her life to guide him/her, then they are truly in never-never land. And usually very anxious. That's waaaaay too much power for a teen.

Brain science tells us that the neocortex, the part of the brain that allows us to THINK -- to problem-solve, to consider consequences, to delay impulses and gratification, to anticipate worst-case scenarios, to plan ahead, to be accountable -- is not fully developed in human beings until early adulthood - in the 20s.

Or put another way -- that part of the brain that keeps us lying awake at night worrying isn't there for teens. (Alert the press!) That's why it's called "the bullet-proof age."

I ask every young teen boy the old thing about 'If Mike Tyson made you that mad would you hit him?' and they jump right on it -- "Yes, for sure I'd hit him." And they go on and on about how they've been insulted, or their Mother's been insulted, and disrespect and all that.

Let's face it - all teens are defiant, rebellious, and oppositional. It's part of growing up. It's important that you maintain your position of authority and guidance so you can be there for your child at this critical juncture.

Do you monitor what your kid reads? What movies they see? That's part of it.

If you need Parenting Coaching, contact me - sdunn@susandunn.cc. It's one of the many types of coaching I do.

Check out the great new website by astrologer Nancy Fenn about zodiac trait sign compatibility. It's about zodiac-traits compatiblity - what sign works best for you and how the relationship will go. It's getting raves: www.zodiac-traits.com.