Why Have a Life Coach?

What a Life Coach Does

"Dreams are astoundingly important. They keep nagging you because you're supposed to fulfill them. When you sense you're special, you're not neurotic or grandiose. Something inside you is calling to you and you have to listen. When you love to do something, that means you have a gift for it...And when you're gifted at something, you have to do it." - Barbara Sher

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I trained and certified a coach last month who told me after the seminar, "This is my passion. This is what I always wanted to do. Thank you."

Life Coaching is all about finding with you what you were meant to do, and how to get to do it. That little something that keeps nagging at you is trying to tell you something.

When Enita called me, she told me that she sits at her desk all day billing patients for a doctor and hates it, and all she thinks about is writing. I encouraged her to listen to the 'dream'; that is was possible, and we would come up with a strategy.

Someone said, and I can't remember who, capacities clamor to be used. If you don't do what you're good at and love to do, you will be cheating yourself in the only life that you have.

Whether it's career or relationship goals you're dreaming of, let me help you get there from here. It's what I do. I'm a Life Coach.

Guitarist, Defense Consultant_ Jeff Baxter, an Improbable Story

This photo is in the public domain, because it's from NASDA.

Reading Jeff Baxter's bio on wikipedia gives you a surrealistic feeling -- can this be true?

It was, and is, and I repeat it to encourageyou in all the things you want to do anddream of doing.

Jeff Baxter, guitarist, was founding member of Steely Dan and a member of of the Doobie Brothers band. He was born in 1948.

Wrote one commentator, "Baxter had a keen interest in weapons systems (did that give you a jolt?), which began when he was researching music technology. A self-taught expert, it continues, Baxter read everything he could about weapon systems. Today, Baxter chairs the Congressional Advisory Board on Missile Defense and is a highly paid consultant for clients like Northrop Grummanand General Atomics. "

The photo above is rather current and is in the public domain because it was taken by NASA.

Ready for more?

Jeffrey "Skunk" Baxter continues studio work. He occasionally plays in The Coalition of the Willing, a band comprised of Andras Simonyi, Hungarian Ambassador to the US; Alexander Vershbow, US Ambassador to SouthKorea; Daniel Poneman, formerly of the USNational Security Council and now of theScowcroft Group; and Lincoln Bloomfield,former US Asst Secy of State forPolitical-Military Affairs.

Baxter fell into his second profession,defense consulting, almost by accident. Inthe mid 80s, his interest in music recordingtechnology led him to wonder about hardwareand software that was originally designed formilitary use, i.e., data-compressionalgorithms and and large-capacity storagedevices. As it turns out, his next doorneighbor was a retired engineer who hadworked on the Sidewinder missile program. This man gave him some magazines to read andencouraged his interest in military defensesystems in particular.

(all this from wiki) He wrote a 5-page paper proposing converting the ship-basedanti-aircraft Aegis missile into a rudimentary missile defense system. He gavethe paper to Ca congressman Dana Rohrabacher, and his career as a defense consultant began.

To read more about this, go HERE.

For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

We're Just Friends but I Want More

CHECK OUT MY LATEST TOP TEN, www.topten.org

As an Attract Your Ideal Man coach, and expert for a major website, most of the questions I get fall into one of several predicatable groups. One of them is similiar to this letter.

Dear Susan:

We've been friends for years. I'm 30 and he's 35. I think we have a great relationship - lots of laughs and good times and we get along great. The trouble is I've fallen in love with him. I've never said anything. I want more. What can I do? Hint? Flirt more? I don't want to ruin the friendship, but I'm in love with this man. Please help.

Signed: Confused

Dear Confused:

If there's one truth in this world it is this: If the man wants "more" in a relationship, he will go for it -- no matter his age, "shyness," your situation, your attitude, your marital state, the nature of your current 'relationship,' or anything else.

I don't know if you are male or female, it doesn't matter, but this situation you describe takes place in offices all across the nation every day -- she's in love with her boss (or co-worker) and doesn't know...she thinks he does nothing because it's work, he's married, blah blah ...
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Since I get to hear from so many people, here's how it works and these happen to be true stories with names changed, except for the last two.

1. 1. Mary wanted a divorce.

She went to Tom, a married divorce lawyer for professional help. Tom said, within 10 mins. and to her utter surprise: "I'm referring you to someone else because I want to date you."

2. Shereen was seeing a psychologist for whatever (in one of those states where you can 'date' a client once they aren't your client).

In the third session he told her he was terminating the therapy and referring her to another psycholigist because he wanted go have an intimate relationship with her. (He is the ethical type.)

3. Nancy had been in love with her boss, Larry, for 3 months, but #1, he was married, and #2, she needed her job and the policy manual said ...

In the 4th month, Larry asked her out on a date with direct innuendo. Nancy said "What about my job?" Larry said, "What about your job?"

4. Alicia is happily married.

She also can't stand a certain male client who had done some clumsy flirting. She ignored him. She managed to be away when she knew he was coming, assigned her part of the contract to her partner, wouldn't answer the phone if she knew it was he. Alicia had given him no encouragement, in fact quite the opposite. He tracked down her home phone number and asked her out.

5. Dr. John, an Ob.Gyn, put the move on Sandra during a physical exam.

He then left his wife of 25 years, and put his practice into jeopardy.

6. Samantha and Ted had been great friends for a year.

Samantha liked it that way. Ted wasn't her type. She had her eye on Roberto. Samantha and Ted went to the movies on Sunday nights. One Sunday night, to her complete surprise and horror, he reached over and touched her breast and then tried to plant a kiss on her.

7. Tiphany was a high-powered executive.

She hired Frank to be her secretary, file clerk and go-pher. The distance between their ages, rank, education, income and everything else was truly unsurmountable - from the outside, anyway. However, the first time she asked Frank to drive her to the airport, and they were, therefore, out of the office, he put the move on her.

8. Bill CLinton, married and the president of the United States of America, had an intern ...

9. The heir to the throne of England fell in love with a commoner. To marry her, he would have to abdicate the throne.

He did.

IN SUM: Unethical or ethical, disgusting or classy, appropriate or walking the line, interested in marriage or just sex, men don't let the grass grow under their feet when they want to "date" a woman. They aren't shy about it (no matter how timid they appear in other situations); they don’t care if they have a fiduciary relationship with her; they don’t care about anyone’s marital state; they don’t care about the policy manual; and they don’t care whether they and the woman are currently "friends", work colleagues, in direct work competition, or anything else. They could care less about "hints," "encouragement," or "flirting."

THAT'S WHY WE SOMETIMES CALL THEM "CLUELESS", BTW.

If he wanted something different with you, you would know it because he would take action.

(Incidentally, I have also heard from women who did take action with a guy like the one you describe, and got the guy to marry them, and down the line it doesn't work out. If he'd been interested and male, he would've taken action. If he didn't, but gave in, the woman is some kind of consolation prize, duty, last resort or something else you don't ever want to be.)

WORD: When a man wants something, he takes action and you don’t have to do a thing except defend yourself if you don’t want it.

Enjoy the friendship and attract another male who's interested in you that way. You'll know it by how he acts.
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About the Submitter
This piece was submitted by Susan Dunn, Dating Coach, MA, Clinical Psychology, Founding Member of Coachville, Professional Coach - Dating, Life, Career, EQ, who can be reached at sdunn@susandunn.cc, or visited on the web at www.susandunn.cc.

Susan Dunn wants you to know that she offers individual coaching, Internet courses, ebooks and seminars. She serves as attract your ideal man on a major website, and has been a frequent lecturer on cruises. She also trains and certifies coaches worldwide in a long-distance, affordable, effective program. Email her for more information.