I was killing time, waiting for a client call, so messed around on the Internet. Found a good article - liked the title anyway - something about how to get people to return your voicemails. Written by Scott Ginsberg. It had the usual stuff, some good tips, and then something BLEW ME AWAY. About halfway through, Mr. Ginsberg writes: "Character trumps technique."
I think that's the thing we long to hear (I do anyway), and long to encounter. Someone with character - with intentionality, in emotional intelligence lingo. They say what they mean and mean what they say. They come through. They deliver. They skip the drama and JUST DO IT. They follow the golden rule - treating ME the way they would want to be treated in the same situation.
And that no "technique" can get beyond someone who has no character. (I coach on this constantly to people who interview and hire for their companies and corporations -- no matter how great a person's degrees are, no matter how rich his or her experience, if he or she lies, cheats, steals, is abrasive, or offends others, they are not worth hiring. Right?)
The first thing we learned in Marketing 101, back in the Dark Ages, was that "PEOPLE DO BUSINESS WITH PEOPLE THEY TRUST." Plain and simple. (And not easy, evidently.)
Perusing further, I came upon an email ezine today from one of my favorite coaches, Mark Brandenburg, talking about teaching moments as a parent. Mark is a parenting coach, among other things. Mark Brandenburg says:
We are our child’s main teacher in life. We are surrounded by sarcasm, rudeness, and aggressive behavior. And we have a choice about whether our children become part of this kind of culture, or they adhere to a kinder, gentler, more respectful one. All we need to do is to commit to what we believe in as mentors for our children, and to follow through with “right action.”
To sign up for Mark's free and highly informative e-letter, go here.
A few of the pointers from the article (available HERE)
1. Start with yourself.
He wants you to consider whose calls you would answer first. As we say, emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness. "Without self-awareness there can BE no emotional intelligence."
2. Punch people in the face with your purpose.
This would be focus, an emotional intelligence (EQ) competency; perhaps intentionality. There must be a REASON for your call, and therefore you should give a REASON for a call-back. Makes sense. Why did you call? Well, make sure you say why. Mr. Ginsberg calls this "a call to action." He wants first-time callers to be "respectful and intelligent enough to state their purpose within five seconds of leaving a message." Sounds good to me.
Mr. Ginsberg then points out the difference between a "purpose" and an "agenda." It's a good article. I recommend it.
3. Pamper their ego.
But go a step further, he says, and make them feel essential.
And on the other end, and speaking of ETIQUETTE, which is basically what we are talking about here, along with CHARACTER and EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE -- let me interject here that one of the high points in my life was the day I, as a Development Director for a non-profit (that's fund-raiser) called an engineer in the middle of a nasty, awful day, when I was up to my eyes in alligators, and he answered the phone, "How can I help you?"
From then on, I could not do enough for this man. Word!
Well, two great resources for you there, and a third one - The EQ Course and the EQ Program that I offer, to increase your EQ, your emotional intelligence. It is no mistake that Mr. Ginsberg starts off with self-awareness, and later on mentions empathy. Leave someone the message "you were right,he recommends. It "demonstrates empathy," he says.
According to EQ assessments, incidentally, the average male tests significantly lower in empathy, than the average female (although in overal EQ, on the average males and females test within a few points).
So - male or female, if you want to raise your emotional intelligence, including self-awareness and empathy, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call me at 817-734-1471.
Just like Mr. Ginsberg recommends, I offer you two modes here - email, phone. Neat!
And be sure and check out the list he got from google on why people said they didn't answer calls. LOL. Here's just a couple --
“…He only wants to cause drama between us.”
“…He stood us up last time we worked together.”
“…He was known to be a incorrigible gambler.”
“…If he really liked me, then he would have called sooner.”
“…It seemed like he had nothing to say other than fishing for info.”
“…Our initial connection was lost because a first impression only lasts so long.”
WHY WAIT? Get into the EQ Program now. Most people call it "the missing piece."