Emotional Intelligence with The EQ Coach

The peaceful moment
A BLOGGER WRITES about a moment of emotional intelligence:

Before the Storm
Sitting in my car watching the sun rise, I’m calm. I just finished a workout at the gym and found a quiet spot on a quiet road to pull over and enjoy my breakfast-to-go. This may be my last opportunity to feel this way for a while.

On Saturday, I leave for Italy; then one day after returning, board another plane for Malaysia. Frantically preparing for two weeks away from my home & office is all I’ll be doing once I pull away from this calm spot. So I linger - chewing on my bagel - and enjoy the last few moments of quiet before a firestorm of activity kicks in.

This struck me as such a great example of emotional intelligence. This is someone who really knows themselves, and their feelings. And good vacabulary, i.e., he might have said "before the nightmare begins" or "before I go nuts," or dramatic things like that, be shows remarkable restraint in this writing.

These are feelings we can all relate too - the frenetic energy of travel and being away from homw, especially for business.

But how many of us have the emotional intelligence to find a quiet moment and pull over the the side of the road and rest.

Well, I did the other day. I'd been in the car seemingly all day. Well, a drive, then a 3-hour appointment, then an hour's drive, and I arrived at the destination early. It was mid-afternoon, and I've never really wanted to give up my preschooler's afternoon nap, so I pulled off the road to grab 40 winks. Except in this case, I pulled into a large and empty church parking lot, because I thought I'd be safe there. I was way over by the dumpster, and there were just a couple cars way over on the other side.

I laid back the car seat, opened the windows, and leaned back to relax. Several minutes later there was a knock on the window. Some man was concerned about the daycare there and not wanting the children to ... you know. The knock on the window scared me and took away all the good effects of the rest.

So - remember - it's emotional intelligence but alsological/intellectual intelligence, i.e., next time I won't choose a church parking lot!

And back to our friend, above. I feel sure he handled the travel well. He sounds like that kinda guy.

Call Susan Dunn the Emotional Intelligence Coach for help in increasing your emotional intelligence. I offer online courses, email support, phone coaching, and in addition, I train and certify coaches internationally. Don't wait. Do it now. Before the firestorm of activity begins. Again. sdunn@susandunn.cc or 817-734-1471.

Emotional Intelligence better predictor of success in life than high grades in high school

The Huffington Post has an interesting new article about emotional intelligence. You can read it here.

A few quotes:

"School is a place where former A students teach mostly B students to work for C students."

High school grades were never designed to assess the qualities that make you a success in the working world -- like single-minded drive, creativity, and the ability to read people accurately.

Over the last decade, [psychologist James] Parker has been testing first-year students at Trent [University] for social and emotional intelligence, qualities such as understanding of themselves and of others, plus the ability to adapt and manage stress.

So what was the difference between A students and the ones who struggled or even dropped out? It was emotional intelligence, especially the ability to adapt and manage stress.

If you'd like to increase you emotional intelligence (EQ) or learn how to teach others how to increase theirs, by being a certified EQ Coach, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, offers a long-distance, Internet program to train and certify emotional intelligence (EQ) coaches. The course is based on empirical data and research and consists of reading material on the Internet, email support and weekly phone calls. For more information contact Susan at sdunn@susandunn.cc or visit her on the web. Susan Dunn has trained and certified coaches all over the world in this highly effective, affordable program.

How to Talk to a Woman - LBJ talks to Jackie Kennedy

Lyndon G. Johnson (LBJ) pushed through a lot of important legislation. If you listen to his tapes, which are available on youtube.com you will get an idea of behind-the-scenes, and what a great persuader he was.

And if you listen to his conversation with Jackie Kennedy, gentlemen, you will see how he was able to "seduce" people to do what he wanted. He was just "flirting" - he mentions his wife, mother, sister. But these are the things most women tell me they want to hear. And especially that you have time for your lady.

Look here.

Avoid Nigerian and Malaysian Romance Scam Artists Using your Emotional Intelligence

A sad new scam is becoming very prevalent on the Internet - romance scam. Generally the romance scam artists are from Nigeria - though lately from Malaysia as well. They are operating out of Internet cafes, and often correspond with 10-11 woman at a time, hoping to make the kill.

How does this relate to emotional intelligence?

First of all, that you need to have keen instincts when you are dating online. The Nigerian scam artists use the legitimate sites, such as match.com and seniordating.com, and they also will stalk you down on facebook. You can go to DATING COACH BLOG to learn about the common modus operandi. Bad grammar and poor spelling are the first clues (for instance, "I work on the buildings been built). They use the same phrases over and over, one of which is "age is just a mare [sic] number." They also are vague on the details about their supposed hometown (i.e., live in San Antonio, but go blank - get offline when you mention the Alamo). They do not answer your more pressing questions. They often "brb" at important times, or will say that their Internet connection went down. (Either they don't want to answer the question, or they are IMing with another woman/other women). They ask you to go to yahoo IM right away - and yahoo does their best to warn you to be careful who you let chat with you. Read more clues on the Dating Coach Blog.

So, use your INTUITION. If something seems odd, or you get a funny feeling, or something just doesn't seem right, go with your instincts. I've had a lot of experience with this with clients -- sadly -- and can help you ferret out the Nigerian scam artists. And keep Malaysia in mind as well.

Secondly, these Nigerian romance scam artists and Malaysian romance scam artists are psychologically astute. Remember how I've told you that you need to learn EQ because if something can be used against you, you need to know all about it?

They prey on the kind-hearted, the woman who does good deeds, the woman who mentions she is lonely, the woman who says there are no men in her life (to stand by her), the ones who appear a little desperate, and the ones who respond emotionally.

They prey on women who are constantly available -- it's a clue.

They use reassuring phrases all woman want to hear, such as "I'm here for you," "I've got your back," "if XXX happens, just call me," "I will never abandon you," "Call me any time." (Actually they will prefer to place the call, but you get the gist of what I'm saying.

They will peruse your profile and glom on to your interests -- if you're a dog lover, so are they. If you give to charities, that's what they're doing right now.

They are often "engineers" and "project managers," because they know this is a field few women know anything about.

If you say you don't have any money to send them, they will say you are lieing. (You are, and we all hate to be called 'liars'.) They will call you a hypocrite for saying you loved them and not being willing to "help" them.

They will get emotional and put pressure on you, right where you can take it the least.

Knowing you don't trust men, they will give you the names of women to call for verification. These are accomplices, usually in the US, with names like "Candace" and smooth voices.

Nigerian Romance Scammers and Malaysian Romance Scammers -- just another reason to hone up your emotional intelligence.

These guys make their money because they know more about emotional intelligence than their poor victims do! Online dating scams are beoming as prevalent as the email / lottery deals and the Nigerian 419.

Most of all, remember that "if it seems too good to be true," it is. This is a photo often used by scammers (bear in mind the real man in the photograph is not the offender). Now isn't he just too good to be true? He has gone by Gabsy Fisher, John Armstrong,
Mark Braxton, Mike Smith, Scott Smith, Kevin Williams ... and more. (They generally choose very Anglo names.)