Traditions are What Give our Life Stability

Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach

SPRING IS COMING. EASTER IS COMING.

I think of my Mom's potato salad, dying eggs with my children, the years our bird dog spent all Easter morning 'pointing' the eggs we'd hidden Al fresco brunches with fresh strawberry crepes which later gave way to dining room formalities of lamb roast with mint jelly, and fresh asparagus, then evolving back to ham, potato salad and deviled eggs, like my Mom. The years my sons and I celebrated in the Florida Keys, now celebrating with my son's in-laws, grilling out in the back yard. Religious services, spring bonnets, orchid corsages and Easter lilies. Customs particular to South Texas ' bluebonnets and Indian paintbrushes along the highway, cascarones and Fiesta, and finally, PEEPS®!

TRADITIONS

Traditions are what give our life stability and meaning and keep us in the rhythm of life. They give us something to look forward to, something to count on, and something to change when we want to, move, or add new family members! Traditions can always be changed or re-created. In fact, many of our transitions in life involve redoing traditions. EASTER/SPRING

Some of us will celebrate Easter as a religious holiday, others as a secular celebration. It's simply in our blood to rejoice in the springtime. Easter began when the ancient Saxons celebrated the return of spring with a festival in honor of Eastre, their goddess of fertility and spring. Her symbol was the rabbit! It's the custom in most cultures to celebrate the vernal equinox with various symbols of fertility and rebirth, such as rabbits and eggs!

Easter is the first Sunday following the first full moon, which falls on or after the vernal equinox, March 21st. There it falls between March 22nd and April 25th.

CASCARONES?

Is it (a) a waterfall in Northern Mexico, (b)a rare species of Easter orchid, (c)a large South American rodent, or (d) none of the above.

The answer is d.

Cascarones are hollowed-out eggshells filled with confetti. The tradition in the Southwest and Mexico is to crack them over your friends' heads, and the person with the most confetti in their hair is the most loved!

Check out this great cascarones tutorial: http://www.epicurious.com/e_eating/e04_easter/cooking_class.html .

Each year in April, San Antonio puts on FIESTA, which sometimes coincides with Easter ' weeks of festivities. Roadside vendors, grocery stores and upscale boutique sell cascarones. I used to mail them to my son when he was in college in Seattle, and wondered what the Washingtonians would think.

It's believed Marco Polo brought them to Mexico. You can order yours here, just $5.50: http://www.latinworksco.com/cascarones.html .

EASTER LILIES

The Easter Lily originated in Japan, but today, 95% of the bulbs used for the potted Easter Lilies we give, and receive, come from 10 farms along the California/Oregon border. They're grown in various other places, including Michigan. Did you know growers can count the leaves to determine when the plants will flower? Is there anything more fragrant?

CHOCOLATE

I eagerly await the annual spring ballotin from Lady Godiva: http://www.godiva.com/welcome.asp . Is the chocolate bunny more your speed? http://www.chocolatevault.com/easterbunworks.htm has chocolate bunnies, lambs, crosses, hens, roosters, loloes, Easter cards, you name it!

PEEPS® 50 Years of Divine Madness

Some year along the way, 'Peeps®' became a part of our Easter tradition. They're aren't in the house, we don't eat them, but they're v. much a part of the experience. And this year it's the 50th anniversary of Peeps®.

The 'San Francisco Chronicle' noted that over 600 million of these little marshmallow things will be produced, riding on a wave of 'kitsch and nostalgia drawn from two influential demographic pools.'

True in my household! I, the Baby Boomer, include them in baskets because that's what my parents did; my son, the Generation Xer, joins his peers in investigating all that a Peep® is, and all a Peep® can be.

Among the many mouth-watering recipes for Peeps® is Blue Peep® Pie which calls for blue gelatin, Caracao, and 15 blue Peeps®. 'Snip apart each family of Peeps®,' it says. 'Arrange in concentric circles atop pie filling. Use fresh blueberries to fill in gaps between Peeps®.' Full recipe is here: http://recipes.alastra.com/holidays/blue-peep-pie.txt . WHAT CAN YOU DO BESIDES EAT A PEEP®?

'I'm glad I'm not the only one who's tried toasting peep!' writes a list member of Gail's Recipe Swap Archive. 'I recently toasted some over a gas stove burner and got pretty good results. The key is to blow them out immediately when they catch on fire''

'Creative alternative uses' are listed on http://www.epicurious.com : 'Pre-Easter fresh Peeps® can be moistened in punch cups and then used around the kitchen window as cheery caulking. You can color coordinate this with your kitchen.'

Eat your heart out, Martha!

Various forms of Peeps® abuse also take place and are noted on the Internet: April Showers is here: http://www.marks.networktel.net/main.html .

Gen Xers may be seeking a Peeps® screensaver: http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/about/screensaver.html or to send a Peeps ® ecard: http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/about/screensaver.html .

Created by Just Born, Inc., they've been joined by Peeps® Marshmallow Jelly Beans. You'll understand the 'creative alternative uses' for Peeps®' when I report that tasters at epicurious.com 'found the marshmallow-fruit combo overwhelmingly sweet. Comparisons were made to Pledge® wood cleaner, bad bubble gum, and lavender soap.'

Wait a minute. Does that mean someone knows what Pledge® wood cleaner tastes like?

NOW VISITING A LOCATION NEAR YOU: The Peep® Fun Bus

It's coming to San Antonio, April 14-20! To find out when it's coming your way, go here: http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/50_anniversary/fun_bus.html , or call the hotline: 1-866-270-9638. You can even request it for your special event or festival.

Heck, that's worth creating a festival for!

Q&A

Q: What do you have to do to get a year's supply of Peeps®? A: Win the Easter basket contest: http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/50_anniversary/contest.html

Q: What's a 'year's supply' of Peeps®? A: 365 packages.

Q: What do the contest losers get? A: 2 years' supply of Peeps. j.k.

WHAT TO SERVE ALONG WITH YOUR PEEPS® FOR EASTER DINNER?

Will it be ham or lamb? Go here to cast your vote: http://epi.advance.net/forums/hamorlamb/ In south Texas, it's customary to cook out. The parks are full. Not having done this myself, I don't know for sure, but I think neither ham NOR lamb is involved.

I think I'll revert to haute cuisine this year. Rack of Lamb with Spinach Pine-Cut Crust and Minted pea Sauce, Hibiscus-Marinated Leg of Lamb (featuring dried nontoxic and organic hibiscus flowers, Red Zinger tea, garlic, olive oil, red current jelly), Lavender Crème-Caramel Tart, Asparagus Napoleons with Oriental Black Bean Sauce, Hot Cross Buns ' ahhh '. sounds well worth the effort to me. Visit: http://www.epicurious.com/e_eating/e04_easter/eastermenu.html for the menus. Or you may wish to have a Vegan Easter. Go here http://www.veganfamily.co.uk/easter.html#uk and you'll hear 'Easter Parade' playing.

EASTER BONNET

·Get your brightly colored Panama hat here, http://www.latinworksco.com/decolores.html

·Recipe for Easter bonnet cookies here, http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/special/feature/famf0401boncook/f amf0401boncook.html

·Attend the Easter Bonnet Rod Run, Oak Ridge Tennessee, http://www.easterbonnetrodrun.com/, 'Ladies bring your finest Easter bonnet, and Men, dress up your bonnet on your car' ·Attend the Annual Easter Bonnet and Hat Parade in San Diego, http://www.softops.org/easter.html

YES, HERE COMES PETER COTTONTAIL --

And last, but not least, the songs from our childhood. 'Here comes Peter Cottontail, hoppin' down the bunny trail, hippity hoppin', Easter's on its way. He's got jelly beans for Tommy, colored eggs for sister Sue, There's an orchid for your mommy, and an Easter bonnet too.

Originally sung by Gene Autry ( http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00003W8B9/susandunnmome-2 0 ) and you can listen to it here: http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GReaster2.htm . SPRING CLEANING

Surely this is a time to spring clean ' your house, car, office, garden, mind, and spirit! Get the weeds out, turn the soil, add some fertilizer, water and sunshine, plants seeds, prepare for blossoms. Rebirth yourself ' come back to life!

About the author: EQ Coach', licensed Accountability Coach'. Emotional intelligence coaching, Internet courses, EQ assessments, business EQ culture programs, products available for licensing, training for EQ coaches. www.susandunn.cc, mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine. Affiliates in UK, Australia, Malaysia. Ofrece coaching personal y cursos de Internet sobre inteligencia emotional (EQ). Se habla espanol.

Prefrontal and anterior cingulate cortices which play key roles in vigilance and scepticism

HEALERS ... PARENTS ... DOCTORS ... TEACHERS

Parts of the prefrontal and anterior cingulate cortices, which play key roles in vigilance and scepticism when judging the truth and importance of what people say, were deactivated when the subjects listened to a supposed healer. Activity diminished to a lesser extent when the speaker was supposedly a normal Christian [sic] (Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience)

Schjødt says that this explains why certain individuals can gain influence over others, and concludes that their ability to do so depends heavily on preconceived notions of their authority and trustworthiness.

It's not clear whether the results extend beyond religious leaders, but Schjødt speculates that brain regions may be deactivated in a similar way in response to doctors, parents and politicians.

Emotional Self-Regulation for Stressed Students in LA

From today's emailbag ... a chance to help bring emotional intelligence to Los Angeles's urban high school youth. I am pleased to pass on this opportunity to spread emotional intelligence. The email is from Robert A. Rees, PH.D., the Institute of HeartMath:

The Institute of HeartMath has been invited to design and implement a social and emotional intelligence program specifically tailored to a unique student population in Los Angeles's—urban [sic] high school youth in Green Dot Public Charter Schools.

With a highly committed and caring staff, the Green Dot Schools are transforming high school education in Los Angeles starting with 18 charter high schools which serve some of Los Angeles's lowest income communities. The majority of their students are either Latino or African American with more than one-third classified as English Language Learners.

Green Dots [sic]overall goal is to get all of their students ready to enter college. By offering academically rigorous programs to high schoolers in small, safe learning environments, they are giving hope and opportunity to students accustomed [sic] second-rate education, high drop out rates, violent neighborhoods, and bleak futures.
[The] principal of Animo Justice High School in Central Los Angeles describes the challenges students face just to get to school each day: “For many students, the simple act of getting to school each morning involves crossing several rival gang areas, leaving students in a state of chronic traumatic stress which interferes with their well-being, learning and participation.”

District Psychologist, Daun Baker, speaks about the importance of the HeartMath program being developed for Green Dot Schools: “Providing students with emotional self-regulation skills has the potential to have an enormously positive impact on student’s academic and personal lives.” ...

HeartMath's goal now is to raise $20,000 over the next 4 months to pay for the design and implementation of a fall pilot program at Animo Justice for ninth- and 11th-graders.

With your help we will provide students in Central LA with an emotional intelligence program that really speaks to their hearts and then one day expand this program to high school students in urban school districts throughout the United States.

Click here to invest in HeartMath's Green Dot Schools Initiative

To learn more about Green Dot Schools click here.

Thank you for your support,

Robert A. Rees, PH.D.
Director of Education and Humanities
Institute of HeartMath

'In Honor of' Gift Information: If you'd like to make a contribution on behalf of someone who is doing good work or in memory of a loved one, call Katherine Toll Free at (866) 221-6339. Nonprofit StatusIHM is a nonprofit 501 (c) (3) organization

With THE EQ COURSE you can learn emotional self-regulation skills as an adult. We never stop learning, and these skills are even more important in today's economic climate.

If you have been downsized, or are looking for a new career, consider becoming a coach. I train and certify coaches all over the world. I also have a special job opportunity for you if you would like to receive coach certification and live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information.

Reflections after Christmas about Health and Prosperity in the New Year

TA DA! LOOK WHAT I LEARNED
Send me your Life Lessons Learned in 2008, sdunn@susandunn.cc



Reflections After Christmas About Health & Prosperity in the New Year
by Susan Dunn, MA, Coach, Coach Certification Program




Another Christmas come and gone. What a workout for the emotions!

I'm the EQ Coach, it's true, but that doesn't mean I know all there is to know about emotional
management - it's a lifelong proposition; and it doesn't mean my emotions don't give me a ride for their money - remember, 2 of our 3 brains don't take orders.

I study emotional intelligence all the time, both intellectually and in interaction with my clients who are working on theirs, and through the wonderful people who take my seminars and workshops. We learn together, and I'm oh so glad for what I've learned about emotional awareness and management. I reminded myself many times of the tenets of emotional intelligence during Christmas, and it was very helpful.

Resilience

This Christmas was especially joyful for me, and also very heart−rending. I'm preparing my house to sell. No big deal, you say? As we say in the field, it isn't what's happening, it's what it means to you. This is the home I raised my children in as a busy single parent. It's also the lifelong home of my son who died, at 21, just a few years ago. For months I couldn't touch his room, as happens to many parents who lose their children. My coach, bless her, told me to move up to Dallas to be near my surviving son. How could I? His smell was still in his room. New painting and carpeting have removed this last earthly reminder of him, though I suppose it was long gone, and I packed up the things of his I've kept, preparing for the move. There are lots of memories in this house. But life goes on ... and change is good.

Intentionality

At the same time, my older son and his family are coming from Dallas to spend this Christmas me -our last in this house. I asked myself many times what my intentions were, to remind myself. I had a choice. I could either give into the sorrow completely, or I could stuff it down and slap on a happy face. What would an emotionally intelligent person do? She would experience all the emotions as they come and go, feeling the pain, feeling the joy, and celebrating Christmas.
My intention was to enjoy the last Christmas in this home, with happiness in the way Dr. Seligman, the guru of Optimism, means it. There is happiness from pleasure, goodness and meaning, he says, and only one of these necessarily involves what we call "positive emotions." The Life of Pleasure, we're all familiar with - from sugar cookies, to orgasms, to new toys. The Good Life, he says, is getting in touch with your strengths, knowing them and crafting your work, love, friendship, leisure and parenting to use these for flow in your life. The Meaningful Life, on the other hand, involves using these strengths in the service of something you believe is larger than you are.

I also intended to establish a budget and stay within it. This is a very emotionally intelligent thing to do if you want to enjoy the months after Christmas. If you do, there are no reparations to make!

Meaningful Life

Intentionality also means focusing on the task at hand and not being distracted. And Learned Optimism means avoiding the downward spiral. The happy, smiley, ebullient cheerful affect, which psychologist's call "positive affectivity" is inherited he says, and has a normal distribution. This means about half of us have it, and the rest of us don't. It is not, therefore, associated with anything but what you've been born with. Interesting.

Further, he adds, the amount of pleasure in life you have does not add to life satisfaction.
My intention, then, was to experience this last Christmas in this house to the fullest. This meant I was able to take my granddaughter to the church Christmas pageant. My son who died used to sing with the San Antonio Boys Choir. He had the voice of an angel. One special memory is the year the Choir accompanied the SA Symphony and Houston Ballet, singing the chorus of the Snowflakes at the end of Act I. I drove a carload of the boys down for rehearsals, and amidst the usual young−boy activities, one of the other of them would start humming the haunting melody. It's meant for young boy voices. (Don't attend a "Nutcracker" that uses a recording of adult voices!!) My granddaughter sang it to me in the car on the way to church. Life is bittersweet; emotions are bittersweet. Later during the church service, her shenanigans kept me distracted and in touch with the moment. I was also able to delight in the children who sang, the children who were alive, so very alive.

Life goes on and we go with it. And so do our emotions.

Reserves

I lecture on emotional intelligence on cruises, and I scheduled one for the first two weeks in December. Cruises are relaxing and rejuvenating to me. It was a good idea. Give this to myself, I said before scheduling it, and I did, and I was glad. I approached Christmas tan and rested. One thing I would do if I had my life to do over, is take a vacation like that every year.
Reserves apply to all areas of life - health, rest, money, friendships.

I wrote articles before Christmas about expecting chaos and being surprised if things went right. In past year's, I've written to expect something crucial to malfunction - your dishwasher, the garbage disposal, the washing machine, the oven! For some reason I forgot that this year. After all, the year my son arrived home with a trunk full of dirty laundry, the dryer had broken. I knew to count on this sort of thing. So, when I woke up the morning before my houseguests arrived and found no heat, I reminded myself this was to be expected and nothing to get upset over. It didn't quite bust my December budget. Always have reserves!

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is the enemy of everything good. It puts us in a no−win situation, where others can't please us, and we can't please ourselves. I coach this, and I coach myself on it. As I cruised the grocery aisles choosing items for the Christmas dinner - food, drinks and decorations - I reminded myself that my Christmas meals didn't have to be perfect, they could be "good enough." When this item or that was missing, I reminded myself to be flexible and creative. If not that, then something else.

Relentlessly & Adamantly Self−forgiving

One thing that's hard for perfectionists, and probably for everyone is that sense of personal failure. Of course I could say to myself that if I'd shopped sooner, the shelves wouldn't be bare of the desired white sprinkles, Christmas plates, and smaller turkeys, but what would your emotional intelligence coach tell you? To be self−forgiving.

Flexibility & Creativity

I had to have a red tablecloth ... had to, to make it all work ... the centerpiece, the decorations, the plates. Well, there was no red tablecloth to be had. I could either shop in other stores, when there wasn't time, according to my plan and intentionality. Time to be flexible and creative, I reminded myself. Hadn't I just gone through this with a coaching client. There were other things available in the store, and other things I could use at home. I took it as a challenge to my creativity and put it all together in my head and moved on. Of course it turned out "good enough."

Social Network

It's a good time of year to have a strong social network! People who know you, the real you. My friend who also lost a child, who knows what it likes. Other people who don't, which is nice, too. And it's nice when you're a coach. My work is meaningful to me, and my clients have wonderful EQs and are just wonderful people. I received many emails, card and phone calls expressing their appreciation. On client in particular with whom I've worked for a year. He was unemployed for 11 months. He finally got a job a week ago, being invited back to a former job where he'd been treating poorly, and it seemed to be exceptionally great for him to receive this affirmation. "They're calling it as Christmas miracle," he said. The staff has welcomed him back with open arms. He called to tell me that 3 things had gotten him through this year - one of them being me, his coach. This gives me great satisfaction.

I also need the strong social network because I work in coaching. It's an emotional and turbulent time of year for people, my clients not excluded. It the wonderful circle of life, they on me, and I lean on others. We all support, learn and grow.

Emotional Intelligence

Seligman refers to hedonic motive, pursuing pleasure, enjoyment and comfort, and eudaimonic
motives, pursuing personal growth, development of potential, achieving personal excellence and
contributing to the lives of others. "Eudaimonic pursuits [are] significantly correlated with life
satisfactions," Seligman says, "whereas hedonic pursuits [are] not."

This week after Christmas, I'm busy putting the final touches on the new emotional intelligence
programs and ebooks for the New Year. I'm asking all my ezine subscribers to send in their "life
lessons from last year." It is my intent to make EQ available to even more people in the coming year, and continue the outreach to business to incorporate EQ programs.

It's time for resolutions ... and intentionality is what will make resolutions that work.

As the dust settles after Christmas, and our thoughts turn to the New Year, it's good to ponder what worked last year and what didn't, and to make resolutions to change, grow and learn. Studies show that resilient seniors are individuals who have combined study, work and leisure through all phases of their adults lives. Are you where you want to be?

As we coaches say, "If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting." Emotional intelligence is about flexibility, creativity and resilience in the face of change. Make it one of your resolutions this year to develop your EQ. It covers every aspect of your life and contributes much more to your satisfaction and success than your IQ.

Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, offers a variety of topnotch coaching opportunities, Internet courses, workshops and ebooks on emotional intelligence and personal development. Visit her on the web at http://www.susandunn.cc/ and mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc.

SEND ME YOUR LIFE LESSONS LEARNED IN 2008. I'LL POST THEM. eMail to sdunn@susandunn.cc .

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More and more people are adding coaching to their life.

If you'd like to become a certified life coach, contact me and let me tell you about the different options I offer. I have trained and certified coaches all over the world and also offer intensive seminars in the Dallas area. Core material is on the Internet, and is self-paced. Various payment plans are available.

The Dow falls / Emotional Intelligence

The Dow falls 777.68 points. That's dizzying.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - the financial market, which SHOULD be rational and logical, is the most emotional thing going on.

And why this fall?

Because we do not like uncertainty.

One reason to study emotional intelligence is because you can't make a rational decision if you don't understand what's going on emotionally. Much of what goes on in offices, between people, between countries, in marriages is emotionally based. It's part of the data.

If you've been in the market as long as I have - not to mention the real experts out there - this is to be expected. It happened after 9/11. I was in for "Black Friday." The real diehards will be saying, "Now's the time to get IN."

The knee-jerk reaction when something falls through and becomes unclear (like the negotiations) is panic, and this is what we are seeing. Is it smart to get out of the market now? Can you even think clearly about it?

Take the EQ Course and coaching, and learn more. It's very helpful.

Logic and Emotional Intelligence

From The EQ Coach about emotional intelligence

If you want to be a logical and reasonable person, where does "emotional intelligence" fit in?

Lets face it, there are some professions that pride themselves in not being "emotional." Doctors, lawyers, CPAs and engineers come to mind. When I mention "emotional intelligence" they can't see how it would apply to them.

The truth is that the higher up you get in a field - or WANT to - the more you are going to need emotional intelligence to go along with those wonderful logic and intellectual skills and training and degrees.

Why? Because you can't make logical decisions about something you don't know anything about. And most decisions involved people! You may decide, for instance, that the corporation needs a new LAN ... but you're going to have to CONVINCE someone of that.

You may sit down logically and plan your talk to the jury, but you are going to be lost if you can't read their reactions to what you are saying as you deliver the speech.

You can't be an effective surgeon in the operating room if the nurse at your side makes you angry.

Emotional intelligence includes things like focus, managing your own emotions, understanding the emotions of others, "gut feelings," nonverbal communication and many other things that LOGIC CANNOT TELL YOU.

In fact most of the most important decisions in life cannot be made by logic alone. At some point, the data will run out.

Let take the example of the stock market right now, with the state of the US economy. What should you do with your investments at this point? When will the stock market 'come back'? Should you run to treasury bills? CDs? Try and hit the low point and get back in the market?

If you read the experts, you will get conflicting opinions.

Learn more about emotional intelligence (EQ) with The EQ Coach, Susan Dunn, M.A. Coaching by phone, Internet (email), on your site, or at our beautiful facility in Dallas (convenient to both DFW and Love). Why not get away for a weekend and come for an EQ Retreat? Great for CEOs, professionals, and all interested parties.

Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information.

I also train and certify EQ coaches worldwide. Long-distance or at our facilities in Dallas.

For Leadership you must have Emotional Intelligence

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE A WINNING LEADER?

Blackbird Leadership are Management Consultants & Executive Coaches specializing in Leadership Development, according to their website.

Take a look at the first thing they list under their leadership approach:

Blackbird Leadership's approach
Emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence!

______________________________________________

Here at EQ Central, we specialize in training and certifying emotional intelligence coaches, as well as working with individuals and professionals (lawyers, doctors, therapists, professors) and others interested in increasing their own emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligenge is key to leadership. It is like the "meta" skill. It is also crucial to wellness, happiness, and success at work and at home.

Reason No. 99 to learn EQ with us: "5 minutes of anger suppresses your immune system for up to 8 hours."

Today's quote about leadership: "What they know of him [the leader] must be what they hope and require." John Keegan, The Mask of Command

Come learn from the Emotional Intelligence Coach who trains the others. eMail me at sdunn@susandunn.cc , or call me at 817-741-7223 to discuss options and programs.

Susan Dunn, M.A.
Dean, Coach Certification and Training

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