Emotional Intelligence Not Part of the Public Vocabulary?

The Journal Times Online

According to an article in the JournalTimes, Racine, Wisconsin, "emotional intelligence is a term that's not part of the public vocabulary."

Well, we're doing our best to spread the word. It may be better known in other parts of the US, and in the world.

In her article: Q&A: What is emotional intelligence?, Phyllis Sides writes:

Emotional intelligence (E.Q.) is a counter part, so-to-speak, of our intelligence quotient (I.Q.). EQ is rooted in neuroscience and brain research, and is simply defined as our ability to notice and manage emotions in order to connect with other people and build success. EQ includes four basic elements: self-awareness, self management, social awareness and relationship management. When used in combination, those four elements can be more powerful than our IQ in determining success in life.

She goes on to add,

Our first instinct usually isn't to consider our emotions and how they will affect our behavior in the next split second of time. Often, the fastest response comes from the emotional part of our brain which causes us to act without thought. Those responses have the power to make or break the moment; our IQ, or what we know, has little to do with how we handle situations.

And interesting point she goes into is something that has never come up in coaching ... can EQ be abused? She thinks it more often "goes under the radar screen or is ineffectively applied, than abused."

I think it's a sad sign of our times, that people sometimes think EQ is going to be used against them.

But if it were - put on your IQ/EQ cap -- wouldn't it help to know more about it?

As Gerry Spence writes in his great book, "How to Argue and Win Every Time," many (most?) of our interchanges during the day involve someythin wanting something and -- he says -- we are born to "argue." We were not meant to sit mute.

And the difference between having a tantrum because your secretary loses something, and berating her and upsetting the staff around you -- and handling the situation so that it's a win-win, is the different between low EQ and high EQ.

Does yelling at someone ever produce the results you WANT? Does humiliating someone in public ever make them perform better? Does throwing something help you find a missing item?

ANGER IS GOOD FOR KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT, NOT FOR GETTING IT. That's an EQ tenet that's very helpful to many people.

Want to learn more? Take my EQ Course and forge ahead.

You can use to effect win-win outcomes. And, on the other hand, as no less thant Sun Tzu said -- if something is out there that can be used against you the smart person does not remain ignorant.

Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc or visit my website: www.susandunn.cc .