A Look At Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature

IT CLAWS ... BUT IT ALSO PURRS, NURTURES ITS YOUNG, AND LIVES IN A PACK

Perhaps you've read or heard about the article, "Ten Politically Incorrect Truths about Human Nature" (Psychology Today, Alan S. Miller, PhD., and Satoshi Kanazawa, Ph.D.)

Some of the things listed are not surprising - that men are physically attracted to blond Barbie-types, humans are naturally polygamous, most suicide bombers are Muslim, men become less competitive with age, and politicians do things like Clinton did.

Others many of us will not have heard of -- offsets of the Trivers-Willard theory -- wealthy couples with higher status have more sons. People with at least one son are less likely to divorce. And beautiful people are more likely to have daughters - 56% v. 48%. (One has to wonder if that is statistically significant. Seems to me to be hovering awful close to chance.)

Interesting too is the proposition that if a woman's being harassed in the workplace, she's being treated equally, at last. (Oh thank heavens, at last I can be abused like a man?)

But wait. Isn't this the ten politically incorrect truths about our ANIMAL nature? And haven't we spent most of our time on earth trying to rise above our animal natures? Trying to get beyond the talon principle, nature red in tooth and claw, climb up out of the slime and stand on two legs?

These are instincts from the reptilian brain, which was programmed eons ago and which we still share with - um - reptiles. They are polygamous, yes. Their instincts are uncomplicated: "Can I eat it, will it eat me, can I copulate with it?"

One politically incorrect behavior not mentioned because it's so REALLY politically incorrect, is that we, as individuals, would like to kill someone in order to get what we want. These may be truths about our animal nature, but many people manage to get to a higher level. Some men find a courageous, loving brunette who may even be middle-aged and marry her and remain faithful. Some men avoid becoming a suicide bomber even if in a country which encourages this. They refuse, or they emigrate to a country more favorable to the good life. Not all politicians behave like Clinton did, or Spitzer, even if they could "get away with it." There are CEOs who treat the men who work for them with respect.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you, after all, is using your thinking brain. Some individuals continue being creative and productive well past the age when Gates and McCartney quit, because the drive is not at the animal level, it's coming from higher up. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SAPIENS IN HOMO SAPIENS?

We have a limbic brain (why we do not eat our children when we're hungry, like reptiles do), and a neocortex - which allows us not just to think, but to think about thinking. Therefore, we can note that we have an animal instinct operating (big deal) and choose not to act on it (that would be stupid). It isn't a command, these "instincts". Unless you aren't linked to your limbic brain and neocortex, that is. If our "human" nature is anything, it is the "homo sapiens" - we're the ones who can think. That means we have choices.

This list of "human nature" is implicitly hooked in to the selfish gene theory, which is, after all, selfish. This is the "it's all about me" side of human nature, amped up. But no less than Pope John Paul II has apologized for acts of "human nature" that were wrong, such as the missionary abuses against indigenous peoples of the South Pacific, and the persecution of Galileo Galilei, a case of workplace harassment if you will.

Killing people may be part of our animal nature, but caring for and about other people is part of our human nature. I thought we left Freud's drive theory (sex and aggression) behind us in the last century. There is just as strong a drive to bond, nurture and protect, which of course would be included in the Politically Correct Truths list, but it goes beyond that. Human nature isn't just about you and procreating your genes at the expense of others. Some of the things Miller and Kanazawa mention may be part of our nature. They may be politically incorrect. But in some cases acting on them is just plain wrong. And that's why you got a limbic brain and neocortex to go along with that reptilian brain. So you'd know this and feel this!

Want to learn more? Take THE EQ COURSE. You will find it fascinating and enlightening. Email me for more information, sdunn@susandunn.cc, and for coaching. It's the best investment in your future you can make. See more at www.susandunn.cc .

Examining the alpha male at work

Examining the alpha male at work - CNN.com

As an early-adopter of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ) I was thrilled to see this article. I, too, have studied the alpha male - - from the vantage point of EQ v. IQ.

Each of the 4 types of alpha males (commander, visionary, strategist, and executor) has its downside, says this article on cnn.com's CareerBuilder, and, most interestingly, the climate is changing -- the alpha males may go the way of the dinosaurs as the influence of more women in the workforce has brought in emotional intelligence and affilitiave, collaborative behavior. Or is it the influence of more EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE in the workplace.

The great divide began when we had to leave Freud and Freudian psychology behind ... the drives - - sex and aggression - - well there's a lot more driving people today, like wanting to enjoy life, find meaning in their work, balance in their lives, and room for the emotional factor. Most important decisions must be made by other than strictly rational, logical means, after all. If you could choose the best stock rationally, all us investors would be millionaires - there are charts, after all. And if you could choose the best candidate for a job by their resume alone, it wouldn't be the miasma that it is, would it? No, it takes intuition, gut feeling, creativity, flexibility, and a host of other EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE competencies.

EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is now looked for as well as IQ in management, leadership and the workplace. In fact it's slowly being demanded in the workplace. If the average job in the US now is 18 months, one of the reasons people leave is because of abusive management. We cannot do our best work in an atmosphere of nit-picking, or where we're ignored, or devalued in comparison to data, for instance. And your EQ will tell you that most of us truly want to succeed, grow, learn, help others in the workplace to do the same, and to be appreciated. Not all the time, but just enough.

Take for instance the alpha male called The Executor. Probably my least favorite to work for because (to me) the Visionary is inspiring; strategists' minds are so fascinating and in my world they generally find a way to avoid much contact with people; and commanders are energizing. I worked for all of these types in my day (and that's why I'm not self-employed!)

Executors, however, are micro-managers who cramp your style, eschew anything creative or "outside the box," and never give priase, but rather pick, pick and pick, and most importantly, must assign blame. I've seen then stop the whole parade for as long as an hour or more, to get out their miocroscope and investigate a rather inconsequential incident. When I'm around one, I always want to shout, "Stop! Just fix it! Let your people free!"

So many things in the workplace today, particularly because it IS more collaborative, are a failing of systems or equipment, or simple one-time human error -- not something that can be fixed. And it takes a real micro-manager to stop the flow of a project, particularly under pressure of a deadline, to fly-speck and see "whose fault it was."

How much better to say to the human who failed at that one point, "That's not like you!" than to harp on the mistake. Someone who continually fails, sure, and particularly one who intentionally sabotages, but the average person having a bad moment or day ... well, it's NOT LIKE THEM, so move forward. Guilt, blame, tempers and anger accomplish th exact opposite of anyone's intent. And lets hope those few people, among them managers, who enjoy making other people miserable, are really on their last legs in the workplace.

Okay. Now I'm off my soap box. But I'm an emotional intelligence coach after all, and I KNOW that EQ matters more in managing people than IQ does. Perhaps the time has come to let the sheer intellect types work in isolation (which they generally prefer), and keep them away from management, which annoys both sides of the equation.

There should be ladders of promotion on two tracks - the people side, and the OTHER side.

The most heartening thing about the article is that emotional intellingence has become so well-known and valued.

We were an early-adopter and have helped so many people improve their lives, and the lives of those around them through emotional intelligence. It is truly the "common language," as I have trained and worked with people around the globe, who immediately catch on to the power of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is empowering. Get involved! See me for coaching, or to take the EQ course. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc