Thursday, July 28, 2005
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - APPLICATIONS
You've got to use your heaad these days. It takes a lot of EQ savvy to know how to handle each different "relating" incident in your life in order to take care of yourself -- first and foremost.
I say "relating" incident, because not every encounter is a relationship, and, despite what some people take away with them from therapy, one should not always disclose, be vulnerable, be "honest." Part of EQ is keeping your "observing ego" going all the time, so you keep yourself out of trouble.
FOR EXAMPLE, today we have a guest article from Dr. Moloney, a retired family practitioner, kind enough to share a few tips with us.
What Not to Tell Your Doctor?
(c) Vincent R. Moloney MD
For many years since medicine has been established as an ethical profession and gained widespread credence people have believed that they could and should tell their doctor everything even remotely pertinent to their health and that it was held in the strictest confidence.
Furthermore, how can the physician make accurate judgments when important or
significant information is missing?
This system worked very well until relatively recently but there now exists a breach
of this confidence that people should know about and this breach has developed from the advent of third party investigations into people's backgrounds. Your medical
records are no longer confidential because you are forced to reveal them. Let us look at some scenarios.
When visiting your doctor's office on a Monday not feeling well you tell him/her that you occasionally drink a half case of beer over the weekend. Believing in the
confidentially of your records you forget about it. Some time later when you apply for life insurance the company requires you to sign a release for your medical records. (No release, no application.) The underwriters peruse your records, note the extra beer, and subsequently rate your premiums higher making you pay extra for decades, thousands of dollars.
You complain to your doctor of recurrent chest pain. Investigation reveals nothing, the discomfort resolves permanently and you have no further follow-up to document the benign resolution. Everything is O.K. Ah, but not really. Those words sit there permanently in the record. Later you apply for a mortgage or health insurance or life insurance, signing a release of your records. You are turned down flat or at least rated a higher premium.
Perhaps you have occasion to mention to your doctor that you have stress, marital discord, job problems, and mental/emotional problems, etc. You later apply for a job
requiring security clearance or background checks. These jobs are many and include police, security and just about any job involving real responsibility. Despite having
resolved the problems guess who might not get the job? You may never find out why, either.
You injure your hand and you admit to your doctor that you punched a wall in anger. It could be the only time you ever did something like that but guess what? Those words will sit there forever and be taken as evidence of emotional instability. Want to try for a responsible job?
It really is a shame to see someone pay higher life insurance premiums for decades or be passed over for a job they really want because of an entry in their medical
What can be done about this dilemma? (Webster: A predicament that defies a satisfactory solution.) Your concerns must be balanced against the doctor's need for information and his real need to document what he/she concluded and why. A correct solution would be very welcome but one is not apparent.
The best approach might be the following: Tell your doctor the truth and discuss with him/her your concerns regarding your record coming back to hurt you and how this can be managed in the best way. In the case of your problem turning out to be benign then make sure the record reflects this outcome and is satisfactory to you AT THAT TIME. Don't be required to scramble around years later trying to correct it. That's lame at best and you probably won't even get a chance. Besides, even doctors don't live forever.
If your problem turns out not to be benign, then there is no choice but to have it in your record. That's life.
When faced with a dilemma all one can do is make the most carefully considered decision one can. Work with your doctor and try to obtain a result that is best for you. After all, it's your life.
Just be careful out there.
Play music like you always wanted. Gain the knowledge
you need to learn rapidly and cut out most of the practice
drudgery. Dr. Moloney is a retired Family Practitioner with
a lifelong interest in music and teaching. Empower yourself to take charge of your music learning by studying his E-book available HERE.
EQ POINT. It takes a lot of mathematical ability to make it through medical school. Many people with math ability are also musically inclined. Music and math are both symbolic languages. Your doctor may "speak" math and "speak" music better than he speaks English, as a matter of fact.
Researcher Mike O'Boyle, Ph.D., researcher in this area writes: “Various expressions of exceptionality, such as giftedness in math, music or art, may be the by-product of a brain that has functionally organized itself in a qualitatively different way than the usual left/right hemispheric asymmetry.”
Read the complete article HERE.
Posted by Susan Dunn, M.A. at 5:54 PM