Friday, July 29, 2005

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE & THE TRIUNE BRAIN




Check out this website for a great, quick rundown on the triune brain. It's also an example of the concept "ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny," which is fractal-ish as well. (Browse the site while you're there for some interesting theories.)

"Ontogeny is the development of a fetus from fertilization of the egg through the birth of the individual; it applies to any species. Phylogeny is the evolutionary sequence of living beings, starting with single-celled organisms and proceeding all the way to homo sapiens. The process of development of a fetus begins with the single-celled egg that recapitulates the very first living creatures, and then develops through the multi-celled higher forms of life to something that looks rather like the amphibians of the early history of life, and continues on until the creature hatches or is born."

Thursday, July 28, 2005

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - APPLICATIONS



You've got to use your heaad these days. It takes a lot of EQ savvy to know how to handle each different "relating" incident in your life in order to take care of yourself -- first and foremost.

I say "relating" incident, because not every encounter is a relationship, and, despite what some people take away with them from therapy, one should not always disclose, be vulnerable, be "honest." Part of EQ is keeping your "observing ego" going all the time, so you keep yourself out of trouble.

FOR EXAMPLE, today we have a guest article from Dr. Moloney, a retired family practitioner, kind enough to share a few tips with us.

What Not to Tell Your Doctor?
(c) Vincent R. Moloney MD

For many years since medicine has been established as an ethical profession and gained widespread credence people have believed that they could and should tell their doctor everything even remotely pertinent to their health and that it was held in the strictest confidence.

Furthermore, how can the physician make accurate judgments when important or
significant information is missing?

This system worked very well until relatively recently but there now exists a breach
of this confidence that people should know about and this breach has developed from the advent of third party investigations into people's backgrounds. Your medical
records are no longer confidential because you are forced to reveal them. Let us look at some scenarios.

When visiting your doctor's office on a Monday not feeling well you tell him/her that you occasionally drink a half case of beer over the weekend. Believing in the
confidentially of your records you forget about it. Some time later when you apply for life insurance the company requires you to sign a release for your medical records. (No release, no application.) The underwriters peruse your records, note the extra beer, and subsequently rate your premiums higher making you pay extra for decades, thousands of dollars.

You complain to your doctor of recurrent chest pain. Investigation reveals nothing, the discomfort resolves permanently and you have no further follow-up to document the benign resolution. Everything is O.K. Ah, but not really. Those words sit there permanently in the record. Later you apply for a mortgage or health insurance or life insurance, signing a release of your records. You are turned down flat or at least rated a higher premium.

Perhaps you have occasion to mention to your doctor that you have stress, marital discord, job problems, and mental/emotional problems, etc. You later apply for a job
requiring security clearance or background checks. These jobs are many and include police, security and just about any job involving real responsibility. Despite having
resolved the problems guess who might not get the job? You may never find out why, either.

You injure your hand and you admit to your doctor that you punched a wall in anger. It could be the only time you ever did something like that but guess what? Those words will sit there forever and be taken as evidence of emotional instability. Want to try for a responsible job?

It really is a shame to see someone pay higher life insurance premiums for decades or be passed over for a job they really want because of an entry in their medical
record.

What can be done about this dilemma? (Webster: A predicament that defies a satisfactory solution.) Your concerns must be balanced against the doctor's need for information and his real need to document what he/she concluded and why. A correct solution would be very welcome but one is not apparent.

The best approach might be the following: Tell your doctor the truth and discuss with him/her your concerns regarding your record coming back to hurt you and how this can be managed in the best way. In the case of your problem turning out to be benign then make sure the record reflects this outcome and is satisfactory to you AT THAT TIME. Don't be required to scramble around years later trying to correct it. That's lame at best and you probably won't even get a chance. Besides, even doctors don't live forever.

If your problem turns out not to be benign, then there is no choice but to have it in your record. That's life.

When faced with a dilemma all one can do is make the most carefully considered decision one can. Work with your doctor and try to obtain a result that is best for you. After all, it's your life.

Just be careful out there.

-----------------------------------------------------------
Play music like you always wanted. Gain the knowledge
you need to learn rapidly and cut out most of the practice
drudgery. Dr. Moloney is a retired Family Practitioner with
a lifelong interest in music and teaching. Empower yourself to take charge of your music learning by studying his E-book available HERE.

EQ POINT. It takes a lot of mathematical ability to make it through medical school. Many people with math ability are also musically inclined. Music and math are both symbolic languages. Your doctor may "speak" math and "speak" music better than he speaks English, as a matter of fact.

Researcher Mike O'Boyle, Ph.D., researcher in this area writes: “Various expressions of exceptionality, such as giftedness in math, music or art, may be the by-product of a brain that has functionally organized itself in a qualitatively different way than the usual left/right hemispheric asymmetry.”

Read the complete article HERE.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - How you manage people, including yourself!



LEARNING ABOUT THINGS

The EQ Competenies are:

Resilience

Being adamantly and relentlessly self-forgiving

Intentionality

Flexibility

Creativity

Interpersonal Skills

Integrated Self

Trust Radius

Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. Without it there can be no emotional intelligence.

Optimism is the facilitator of all the competencies.

To find out what your EQ is, take THE EQ MAP.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - One Day at a Time

"Most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself rather than talking to yourself."

This quote is from David Martyn Lloyd-Jones, who wrote a book entitled, "Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Cure". It's nice to distinguish spiritual (mental, self-inflicted) from what we might call "physical" depression, i.e., that which is caused by chemical imbalance or physical causes.

Being aware of your self-talk and monitoring it, and then changing it, i.e., taking control of it, is crucial to emotional intelligence. If you are talking to yourself in demeaning, degrading, pessimistic, discouraging, hateful ways, you can STOP doing this and START doing something different.

You are not a helpless victim at the hands of your thoughts. Most of our self-talk - those thoughts rambling around in our heads all day long, whether we're conscious of them or not -- originate from our parents. Also anyone else who was influential enough to us, or around us long enough. Could be a long-term marriage partner, for instance, but mostly from parents. We internalize how our parents taught us to feel about ourselves.

You had no choice when you were a little kid. Now that you're an adult, you have a choice!

Monitor for a week the things you say to yourself. Write them down and take a good look at them. If they were coming from someoneelse how long would you choose to stay in the room with that person?

Then, start talking to yourself, not listening to yourself.

Good advice!

EQ coaching and resources for all your needs. -

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

EQ - USE IT WHEN YOU 'LOOK AT' STATISTICS



USE YOUR EQ ... BE AN OSTRICH WHO DOESN'T BURY ITS HEAD IN THE SAND

I'm enjoying "Freakonomics," by Steven D. Levitt. This "rogue economist" has been asked to use data to help the CIA catch money launderers. An economist? Levitt believes the modern world, despite a surfeit of obfuscation, complication, and downright deceit, is not impenetrable, is not unknowable, and -- if the right questions are asked -- is even more intriguing that we think.

And he sure has an intriguing way of looking at it.

Now, if you don't bury your head in the sand like an ostrich -- in other words, if you use your EQ to apply it to donciseration of the data and statistics you read -- you can see underlying patterns and learn fascinating things.

Don't do like the czar in folklore Levitt cites who learned that the province with the most illness had the most doctors in it, concluded the doctors were the cause, and had them all executed!

image: www.clipart.com

FOR EQ COACHING, CALL 210.496.0678. You have nothing to lose but losing patterns and habits!

Become an EQ Coach. The EQ Alive! Program is affordable, fast, packed with value, comprehensive, and has no residency requirement. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information. Start immediately.

Monday, July 25, 2005

EQ - EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - MALE & FEMALE


Check out this article on the difference between raising boys and girls, on msn.com, written by Renee Bacher.

The writer refers to Baron-Cohen's book. Simon-Baron, Ph.D., a British psychopathologist, is the author of "The Essential Difference: The Truth About the Male and Female Brain" (Perseus, 2003), a book we highly recommend if you want to learn about "the opposite sex" and the differences that are hard-wired into the brain. Bear in mind when reading this book, this book is about the mythical "average". Either gender can have the type of brain he describes.

His 20 years of research yielded that the average female brain is better at empathizing with others, while the average male brain is better at systemizing and predicting outcomes.

From the article:

In Baron-Cohen's research, both genders exhibit aggression, but in boys it tends to take a more conventional form (physical fighting), whereas in girls, it is usually more subtle, manifesting itself in gossip, social exclusion, and verbal meanness (such as cutting remarks, often made behind the victim's back).

Perhaps girls are adept at this kind of bullying because they are more tuned in to the emotional lives of other people, and hence understand intuitively the impact -- which, according to most moms, is more brutal than a simple blow.


Read the article for more interesting information!

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach. Coaching, business programs, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional success.

Want to become an EQ Coach? Email me for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Can be arranged to fit your scheduled. Trainin coaches worldwide.



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Friday, July 22, 2005

EQ - EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE



From today's mailbag:

I have become so much more in tune with my emotions and of those around me. I am more in control of them and my family and friends have noticed. You are more than welcome to quote me. You are doing so much good, and helping so many people I would be honoured to give any feedback and let others know how it's helped me. Keep up the good work, you have inspired me to be the best person I can be." 
-- Colleen Sibeijn,UK

HOW EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE CAN HELP YOU WIN THE NEGOTIATION


“How Can EQ Help You Win the Negotiation?”
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

“Don’t ask your father the minute he walks in the door,” my Mom used to tell me. “Wait till he’s in a good mood. Let him unwind a little.”

Then some time later, she would alert me that “the good mood” had arrived, and it was time to ask him. It was a mystery to me, but gradually I began to pick up on what indicated a “bad mood” in my dad, and what indicated a “good mood,” and how to use it to my advantage. Eventually I became adept at putting him in a good mood; like most girls, I learned to work my dad over pretty good, and at least some of the time I got what I wanted. At other times he would say, “That’s not going to work on me young lady.” Like playing “Hot Cold” it helped me refine my people skills, and be more subtle.

While it wasn’t always easy to judge “mood,” it was pretty easy to tell when Mom or Dad was angry and, like most kids, I learned to head for hills at such a time. Not only wasn’t it a good time to ask for anything, it wasn’t a good time to be around at all. If you want to win, you have to know when to fold them, as well as when to hold them.

Most kids learn how to gauge the moods of their parents pretty well because it’s important to their survival, figuratively, if not literally. Knowing when Mom’s in a bad mood and staying out of her way at those times makes life easier, and approaching her for something when she’s in a good mood makes it more probable you’ll get it. We also learn that we can sometimes wear a parent down when they’re tired and they’ll give in, and that sometimes kisses and compliments will work where reason and logic don’t. Kids are pretty good little negotiators, and the ones who read social cues the best, and are most attuned to the emotions of those around them, do the best.

So when we grow up and enter the work world as sophisticated adults does all this become irrelevant? Quite to the contrary. There are always people we want things from, just as there are people who want things from us, and while there’s a prevailing myth that business runs on logic, reason and analysis, it is about relationships and negotiations, and emotions quite often determine the outcome. It’s an old adage that people do business with people they like and trust. However you define those words, and how you separate out the components, it is an emotional response, not an intellectual one.

Cognitive intelligence is important – knowing the facts, getting the figures, and doing the homework – but emotional intelligence can be the deciding factor. Whether you want a promotion, a million dollar contract, a new partner, information from someone, or their cooperation, your success depends upon how well you understand and manage the emotional force field around the situation. My Mom was right. Studies show that people do react more favorably when they’re in a good mood, so timing is everything. Do you know how to tell when someone’s in a good mood? And what if they’re not? Do you know how to put someone in a good mood?

Great salespeople know how to bring the good mood with them. They arrive with a good story or positive anecdote, a gift, a joke, or even food. Their intuition, an EQ competency, tells them what will work on each person. Maurice E. Schweitzer, professor of operations and information management at Wharton, calls this “non-task communication.” He has researched this phenomenon, and says, “In negotiation, we have always known that non-task communication – discussion that’s not directly relevant to the negotiation process – is important for closing a deal.”

In recent research, Schweitzer and associates induced emotional states in subjects and found that angry people trusted the least, and happy people trusted the most, and sad people were in between. They found that “emotions which are irrelevant to the judgment task … influence trust judgments in predictable ways.” “Predictable” is the key phrase here, because it gives us power. When we’re negotiating with someone, we want to control as many of the variables leading to a “yes” as possible.

Because decisions are not based solely on reason and logic, emotional intelligence is clearly important to success. There are two things for sure: there is never enough data, and the data is always ambiguous. Let’s say you have $100,000 to invest. Is real estate the best long-term producer, or is the stock market? It depends on who’s talking to you, what they’re selling, and what chart they show you. I’ve seen it “proven conclusively” both ways. And for each of you readers who silently mouthed “But it’s real estate, because …” there was another mouthing “stocks, because …”!

And who was at fault when the patient died on the surgery table? Was it the hospital, the internist, the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, the nurse, the manufacturer of the shunt, or the HMO? There will be an expert witness for and against each position.

We like to think we’re making a rational decision based on the facts, but studies show, and common sense affirms, that emotions play a role, and one that you can’t afford to ignore. How can developing your emotional intelligence help you succeed? Here are some examples:

· The savvy businessman across the table wears a mask to conceal his emotions so he’ll have the advantage in the negotiation. Can you read the telltale nonverbal signals? Some nonverbal reactions that are very informative, such as the Adam’s Apple Jump, are beyond conscious control.

· You must choose one of two candidates for the next head of regional sales and their ability to perform will make or break your company this year. Can you keep a clear head about their qualifications and expertise and not be swayed by the subtle and not-so-subtle maneuvers they perform to induce you to choose them?

· You’re a fundraiser and you know who you want to ask for the funds, and how you’re going to do it, but do you know when? Can you tell when they’re in the right frame of mind?

· Time has run out and you must go in right now and ask for the raise. You know your boss is angry because your associate just lost a contract/sad because her son just got turned down at Harvard. Do you know it’s important to change her mood, and do you know how to do it?

· He’s trying to sell you the car and you’ve had the best hour you’ve had for weeks. He’s made you laugh, he’s complimented you, and you’re feeling great. In other words, he’s a master at “non-task communication.” Are you aware of what’s going on emotionally? Are you able to hold the line on the good times and make a rational decision about this car and this price? Studies show that if you’re aware of the emotional factors you can manage around them.

You’ve got the degrees, the credentials and the experience. Is your emotional intelligence competitive?

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach. Coaching, business programs, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional success.

Want to become an EQ Coach? Email me for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Can be arranged to fit your scheduled. Trainin coaches worldwide.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 4U



From the good folks at Higher Awareness:
Being relentlessly and adamantly self-forgiving is an EQ competency. From it comes the ability to forigve -- or understand -- people, time, events, even life itself.
"Let Go Of The Past"

"Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think that you've lost time. There is no short-cutting to life. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time."

-- Asha Tyson

No regrets. As we become more aware, we begin to realize that there's a purpose to everything that happens. This builds our trust, and supports us in being willing to be more open and daring to really experience life as it unfolds.

If we pay attention to what's happening in each moment, we will discover that life continually brings us opportunities to heal our past wounds. When a painful memory surfaces, we can take the time to feel it fully, give compassion to ourselves and any others and allow the energy to release. As we deal with the past in this way IN THE PRESENT, we free ourselves to more fully connect with life.

"The next message you need is right where you are."

-- Ram Dass

EQ - BRAIN WORKOUT RECOMMENDED




In the same way that exercising develops our bodies, makse us feel better, and improves our physical health, exercising the brain brings about the same great results. (Very good for cushioning against aging, too.) How do you "exercise" your brain? With stimulation! Stimulating the brain "exercises" it, makes us feel better, brings better emotional, mental and physical health, and increases intellectual functioning.

It was noted in early EEG studies that people who were good at meditating were able to bring their brains into lower wave patterns, moving from beta (the usual adult state - associated with concentration, arousal, alertness and cognition, and, if too high, anxiety); then alpha (deep relaxation); then theta (dreaming sleep also associated with increased creativity, what's called "superlearning", integrative experiences, and increased memory); and then there is delta, where generally you're asleep.

According to scientists, as we slow the brain wave patterns from beta to alpha to theta to delta, there is a corresponding increase in balance between the
two hemispheres of the brain, which is called "brain synchronization." Brain waves shift from the usual asymmetrical patterns, with one hemisphere dominant over the other, to a to a balanced state of whole-brain integration, with the same brain wave frequency throughout. Dr. Lester Fehmi, director of the Princeton Biofeedback Research Institute feels that hemispheric synchronization represents "the maximum efficiency of information transport through the whole brain". Aren't we always talking about "whole brain functioning"? This allows you to become less "self-conscious" and function more "intuitively."

This makes learning easier, among other things.

Says Thompson "This [integration] creates a state of coherence in the brain...an internal physiological environment for learning which involves the whole brain." The linear, sequential style of problem solving preferred by the left hemisphere is brought into balance with the global intuitive style of the right hemisphere and limbic system. This allows us to have greater access to internal and external knowledge, and provides optimal conditions for expanding intuition in problem-solving. One of the by-products of hemispheric synchronication
appears to be a highly focused state of attending. This means the "mind chatter" is reduced, and you can pay attention with great focus, which is criticial for efficient learning land effective functioning.

EMAIL ME FOR EQ PROGRAM TODAY.



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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

EQ - One of the Competencies if Intuition, aka Gut Feeling aka Gut Instinct aka Inklings aka Feelings

Call it intuition, gut feeling, inklings, or gut instinct, it takes up where the data leaves off, and gives us quick and sure information, when we know how to read its messages.

We often rationalize the decisions we make through intuition (giving it logical, "reasonable" explanations), but if we do talk about it, since it's a way of "knowing without knowing how you know" (unless you study EQ, and then you'll know how you know!), it's often explained in metaphorical terms and/or with references to the 5 (or 7) senses, because intuition is from sensual information, i.e., from the senses.

Here are some examples of things you can figure out with your intuition that can help you stay safe and succeed.

1. Which way the wind is blowing.

2. What the temperature is in the Board room.

3. When the deal's about to go sour, or when it stinks.

4. When the contract is legal, ethical, morale, but not going to pass the smell test.

5. Who's got the sixth sense for business, or the Midas Touch.

6. Which HR person knows how to look in the horse's mouth.

7. Which VP's got the killer instinct.

8. Which way the judge is leaning, and what story will touch the jury.

9. When it's a case of rats leaving a sinking ship.

10. When's the right time to ask for the raise or close the deal.

11. How to get nerves of steel, or have ice water in your veins when needed.

12. WHich benefactor has a heart of gold.

13. When the pump's been primed, and it's time to ask.

14. When there's so much tension in the room you could slice it with a knife.

15. When to stay out of the boss' line of fire.

16. When someone is about to blow.

EMAIL ME FOR COACHING. You can improve your gut instinct or intuition and it makes a great difference in your life. sdunn@susandunn.cc

Sunday, July 17, 2005

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN THE WORKPLACE



“Don’t ask your father the minute he walks in the door,” my Mom used to tell me. “Wait till he’s in a good mood. Let him unwind a little.”

Then some time later, she would alert me that “the good mood” had arrived, and it was time to ask him. It was a mystery to me, but gradually I began to pick up on what indicated a “bad mood” in my dad, and what indicated a “good mood,” and how to use it to my advantage. Eventually I became adept at putting him in a good mood; like most girls, I learned to work my dad over pretty good, and at least some of the time I got what I wanted. At other times he would say, “That’s not going to work on me young lady.” Like playing “Hot Cold” it helped me refine my people skills, and be more subtle.

While it wasn’t always easy to judge “mood,” it was pretty easy to tell when Mom or Dad was angry and, like most kids, I learned to head for hills at such a time. Not only wasn’t it a good time to ask for anything, it wasn’t a good time to be around at all. If you want to win, you have to know when to fold them, as well as when to hold them.

Most kids learn how to gauge the moods of their parents pretty well because it’s important to their survival, figuratively, if not literally. Knowing when Mom’s in a bad mood and staying out of her way at those times makes life easier, and approaching her for something when she’s in a good mood makes it more probable you’ll get it. We also learn that we can sometimes wear a parent down when they’re tired and they’ll give in, and that sometimes kisses and compliments will work where reason and logic don’t. Kids are pretty good little negotiators, and the ones who read social cues the best, and are most attuned to the emotions of those around them, do the best.

So when we grow up and enter the work world as sophisticated adults does all this become irrelevant? Quite to the contrary. There are always people we want things from, just as there are people who want things from us, and while there’s a prevailing myth that business runs on logic, reason and analysis, it is about relationships and negotiations, and emotions quite often determine the outcome. It’s an old adage that people do business with people they like and trust. However you define those words, and how you separate out the components, it is an emotional response, not an intellectual one.

Cognitive intelligence is important – knowing the facts, getting the figures, and doing the homework – but emotional intelligence can be the deciding factor. Whether you want a promotion, a million dollar contract, a new partner, information from someone, or their cooperation, your success depends upon how well you understand and manage the emotional force field around the situation. My Mom was right. Studies show that people do react more favorably when they’re in a good mood, so timing is everything. Do you know how to tell when someone’s in a good mood? And what if they’re not? Do you know how to put someone in a good mood?

Great salespeople know how to bring the good mood with them. They arrive with a good story or positive anecdote, a gift, a joke, or even food. Their intuition, an EQ competency, tells them what will work on each person. Maurice E. Schweitzer, professor of operations and information management at Wharton, calls this “non-task communication.” He has researched this phenomenon, and says, “In negotiation, we have always known that non-task communication – discussion that’s not directly relevant to the negotiation process – is important for closing a deal.”

In recent research, Schweitzer and associates induced emotional states in subjects and found that angry people trusted the least, and happy people trusted the most, and sad people were in between. They found that “emotions which are irrelevant to the judgment task … influence trust judgments in predictable ways.”

“Predictable” is the key word here, because it gives us power. When we’re negotiating with someone, we want to control as many of the variables leading to a “yes” as possible.

Because decisions are not based solely on reason and logic, emotional intelligence is clearly important to success. There are two things for sure: there is never enough data, and the data is always ambiguous. Let’s say you have $100,000 to invest. Is real estate the best long-term producer, or is the stock market? It depends on who’s talking to you, what they’re selling, and what chart they show you. I’ve seen it “proven conclusively” both ways. And for each of you readers who silently mouthed “But it’s real estate, because …” there was another mouthing “stocks, because …”!

And who was at fault when the patient died on the surgery table? Was it the hospital, the internist, the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, the nurse, the manufacturer of the shunt, or the HMO? There will be an expert witness for and against each position.

We like to think we’re making a rational decision based on the facts, but studies show, and common sense affirms, that emotions play a role, and one that you can’t afford to ignore. How can developing your emotional intelligence help you succeed? Here are some examples:

. The savvy businessman across the table wears a mask to conceal his emotions so he’ll have the advantage in the negotiation. Can you read the telltale nonverbal signals? Some nonverbal reactions that are very informative, such as the Adam’s Apple Jump, are beyond conscious control.

· You must choose one of two candidates for the next head of regional sales and their ability to perform will make or break your company this year. Can you keep a clear head about their qualifications and expertise and not be swayed by the subtle and not-so-subtle maneuvers they perform to induce you to choose them?

· You’re a fundraiser and you know who you want to ask for the funds, and how you’re going to do it, but do you know when? Can you tell when they’re in the right frame of mind?

· Time has run out and you must go in right now and ask for the raise. You know your boss is angry because your associate just lost a contract/sad because her son just got turned down at Harvard. Do you know it’s important to change her mood, and do you know how to do it?

· He’s trying to sell you the car and you’ve had the best hour you’ve had for weeks. He’s made you laugh, he’s complimented you, and you’re feeling great. In other words, he’s a master at “non-task communication.” Are you aware of what’s going on emotionally? Are you able to hold the line on the good times and make a rational decision about this car and this price? Studies show that if you’re aware of the emotional factors you can manage around them.

You’ve got the degrees, the credentials and the experience. Is your emotional intelligence competitive? Take THE EQ MAP and find out. Then call me for coaching. You have nothin to lose but losing.

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach. Coaching, business programs, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional success.

Good for leadership, ethics, integrity, career, success, relationships, dating, parenting and, frankly, everything important in your life.

I train and certify managers, HR personnel, therapists, coaches and trainers who want to teach EQ. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program.

Visit the best ebook library on the Internet.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE/The Characteristics of an Emotion






EMOTIONS HAVE THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERISTICS:
From Carl Ratner, Ph.D.'s, "A Cultural-Psychological Analysis of Emotions."

1. Quality: The kind of emotion that is felt in a particular situation depends upon an understanding (concept, representation, schema) of it. Understanding is not simply attaching a positive or negative value to a situation, it is understanding the characteristics, causes and consequences of an event.

2. Intensity: This depends upon cognitive concepts juse as the quality does. The fear generated by something is proportional to one's estimation of the likelihood of harm, and one's ability to defend oneself, which are relative.

3. Behavioral Expression: A given emotional quality is often expressed according to different display rules in different cultures. There include the general ease with which any and all emotions are expressed. "Before the 17th and 18th centuries," write Kasson, "extremes of jubilant laughter, passionate weeping, and violent rage were indulged in with a freedom that in later centuries would not be permitted even to children."

4. Managing emotions: The manner in which people resolve their emotions depends upon cultural concepts about emotions and other phenomena. The Ilongot people of the Philippines, for instance, have a great fear of emotion's potential to disrupt social relationships, [and] consequenly, they immediately dissipate strong emotions in order to ensure continuous amicable relationships.

5. Organization: the similarity or difference which a given emotion has with other emotions varies considerably in different societies. The Ifaluk experience disappointment and fright as similar feelings. They also experience an emotion called "fago" which encompasses the English terms: compassion, sadness, love, respect, and gratitude. It is integrally related to safdnesds, unlike the Western conception of love.

Individual coaching - mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

EQ - Can Save Your Life!

FOR MY READERS IN THE UK ... OR PASS IT ON TO SOMEONE YOU KNOW WHO LIVES THERE

The bombings last week in London prompted some creative soul to come up with a wonderful emergency tool. This could save a lot of heartache should tragedy occur.

East Anglian Ambulance Service has launched a national "In case of Emergency ( ICE ) " campaign with the support of Falklands' war hero Simon Weston and in association with Vodafone's annual life savers award.

The wasy it works is, you store the word " I C E " in your mobile phone address book, and against it enter the number of the person you would want to be contacted "In Case of Emergency".

In an emergency situation, helping personnel would be able to locate your next of kin immediately, and contact them.

it's a great idea, isn't it? Maybe someone in the US could get something like this started, or you may know a way to enter "Emergency Contact" on your screen. At any rate, once the word gets around, the first thought of the person on the scene, besides calling an EMS, would be to check the victim's cell phone for this emergency information.

Please forward this to everyone in your address book who can benefit from it.

EQ COACHING, INTERNET COURSES, AND EBOOKS AROUND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE FOR YOUR PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT. CALL 210.496.0678 OR MAILTO:sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Sunday, July 10, 2005

EQ TESTS - The EQ Map

Have you taken The EQ-Map(r)? It's a great way to find out what your emotional intelligence is. You'll also learn the names of the competencies, and read great descriptions about them.

Take the assessment and then call me for coaching to bring up competencies you're deficient in. you'll be glad you did.

"Emotional Intelligence, more than any other asset, more than IQ or technical expertise, is the most important overall success factor," Warren Bennis, Ph.D., Distinguished Professor of Business Administration, USC.

Susan Dunn MA, The EQ Coach
210.496.0678
Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc

Saturday, July 09, 2005

EQ - WE LOVE READING



THE TOP 10 WAYS TO GET YOUR CHILD TO READ MORE

1. Make books a part of your child's life from the minute they're born. Read to them on into the teen years. (P.S. They don't have to be sitting still to hear what you're reading, or 'get' that you're reading a book.)

2. Set a time for serious reading. Just before bedtime is a good time. Let them sit on your lap and look at the pictures as you read, and touch the book.

3. Have books with you for car trips, waiting in line, waiting for the older sibling at soccer practice, etc.

4. Model your own enthusiasm for books and reading. Let your child see you reading every chance you get. Run for a book, not for the remote. (You DO read, don't you?)

5. Take your child to the library or book store and let them choose what interests them. In my town there's a 75% off book store, where no book is over $5. Find something like that, or visit your local Goodwill if money's tight (and the library, of course).

6. Make use of audio books.

7. When your child is bored, suggest reading. Learning to deal with "boredom" is a childhood task, and picking up a book should be one of their first thoughts.

8. Give books as presents.

9. Tell stories. It's on the asme path. Learning to hear a story or read one. It's not like most television.

10. Reading is reading. If a comic book is as far as you can get, it's a start. Or one of those beautifull illustrated children's books. Great art and literature go together. It's all about learning.

CALL ME FOR COACHING - 210.496.0678. The best thing you can do for your children and grandchildren, is to increase your own emotional intelligence!

EQ - Reaching Out

To all my clients and friends in London, please accept my heartfelt sympathy during this difficult time. During many a hard time in my life, I've relief on studies of the British during World War II, and have often relied on the character, speeches and writings of Winston Churchill, that great stateman to the world. We are seeing the British character again. We mourn with you the losses.



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Friday, July 08, 2005

EQ- ESSENTIAL DIFFERENCES

ESSENTIAL DIFFERENCES.

According to psychologist Michael Gurian, men really do think differently than women. (But we know this intuitively.) The reasons why are biological and psychological. Here are a few of the effects of biology:

1. Testosterone, the dominant male hormone, associated with sex and aggression, the search for social power, ambition and independence.

2. Vasopressin, a brain chemical males have more of than females, associated with territoriality, hierarchy, competition, and persistance.

3. Oxytocin, a brain chemical more dominant in females, associated with maternal nurturance, verbal-emotive connection, and empathic bonding.

4. Differences between men and women in the way their brains gather sensory and sensual information.

5. The male brain's greater development of cortical areas for spatial thinking and abstract systems.

6. The role of female hormones, including estrogen and progesterone.
Biopsychological drives to discover and express potency that are hardwired into male reproductive parocesses.

Says Gurian, "Men do not hear as much as women do nor take in as much from the other senses. Galvanic skin-response tests show that male skin is less sensitive than a female's -- a woman's skin is ten times more sensitive to touch than a man's. Male skin takes in less physical pain, and brain scans show less neocortical activity in pain responses."

For more on this important subject read: "What Could He Be Thinking?"

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

EQ - About the Fourth of July

4TH OF JULY

THE MEN WHO SIGNED THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died.

Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his Ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Swinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters.

He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. Some of us take these liberties so much for granted, but we shouldn't.

So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.

Remember: freedom is never free!

I hope you will show your support by sending this to as many people as you can, please. It's time we get the word out that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games.

TRIBUTE TO THE UNITED STATES FROM A CANADIAN NEWSPAPER

"America: The Good Neighbor"

Widespread but only partial news coverage was given recently to a remarkable editorial broadcast from Toronto by Gordon Sinclair, a Canadian television commentator. What follows is the full text of his trenchant remarks as printed in the Congressional Record: This Canadian thinks it is time to speak up for the
Americans as the most generous and possibly the least appreciated people on all the earth. Germany, Japan and, to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy were lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of dollars and forgave
other billions in debts. None of these countries is today paying even the interest on
its remaining debts to the United States.

When the France was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who propped it up, and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. I was there. I saw it.

When earthquakes hit distant cities, it is the UnitedStates that hurries in to help. This spring, 59 American communities were flattened by tornadoes. Nobody helped.

The Marshall Plan and the Truman Policy pumped billions of dollars into discouraged countries. Now newspapers in those countries are writing about the decadent, warmongering Americans.

I'd like to see just one of those countries that is gloating over the erosion of
the United States Dollar build its own airplane. Does any other country in the
world have a plane to equal the Boeing Jumbo Jet, the Lockheed Tri-Star, or the
Douglas DC10? If so, why don't they fly them? Why do all the International
lines except Russia fly American Planes?

Why does no other land on earth even consider putting a man or woman on the moon? You talk about Japanese technocracy, and you get radios. You talk about German technocracy, and you get automobiles. You talk about American technocracy, and you find men on the moon ... not once, but several times - and safely home again.

You talk about scandals, and the Americans put theirs right in the store window for everybody to look at. Even their draft-dodgers are not pursued and hounded. They are here on our streets, and most of them, unless they are breaking Canadian laws, are getting American dollars from ma and pa back home to spend here.

When the railways of France, Germany and India were breaking down through age, it was Americans who rebuilt them. When the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went broke, nobody loaned them an old caboose. Both are still broke.

I can name you 5000 times when the Americans raced to the help of other people in trouble. Can you name me even one time when someone raced to the Americans in trouble? I don't think there was outside help even during the San Francisco earthquake.

Our neighbors have faced it alone, and I'm one Canadian who is damned tired of
hearing them get kicked around. They will come out of this thing with their flag
high. And when they do, they are entitled to thumb their nose at the lands that are gloating over their present troubles. I hope Canada is not one of those.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

EQ is FREEDOM

HAPPY JULY 4th

Proclaim Personal Freedom this year ... Talk kindly to yourself about yourself

"What is this self inside us, this silent observer,
Severe and speechless critic, who can terrorize us,
And urge us on to futile activity,
And in the end, judge us still more severely,
For the errors into which his own reproaches drove us?"

-- T. S. Eliot

Our thoughts create our reality, and our self-talk is our most constant companion. We "talk" to ourselves far more any day than anyone else does. Get off your back and on your side, if you aren't already.

Do you berate yourself, proclaiming that you're stupid, fat, lazy, ignorant or insensitive?

Why not just watch yourself with curiosity, knowing you're doing the best you can under any given situation. (If you have things that NEED correcting, be mindful, and get to work. EQ coaching can help.)

If their are self-judgments that don't serve you, let them go. Most people who are hyper-judgmental of others, do so because they don't like themselves.

"Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship to myself."

-- Nathaniel Branden