Tuesday, November 28, 2006

It's Important to Use Emotional Intelligence with Your Doctor

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Now ... you know the story about not getting your waitress annoyed at you until AFTER you've received your food? What do you think happens if you get your doctor annoyed at you before your treatment is completed??

Dr. Aniruddha Malpani, MD practices in Bombay, Maharashtra, India and has this to say on his informational blog for patients about using emotional intelligence with your physician. A lot of the tenets of Emotional Intelligence are being compared to meditation, because they accomplish some of the same beneficits -- including -- the Middle Path. Emotional Intelligence is all about "not too much, not too little, but just right."

I am a firm believer in the importance of information therapy and I believe that patients should become experts in the treatment of their own illness. Health is too important to be left up to a doctor, and an active partnership is key to ensuring you get good medical care. However, as with everything else, too much of a good thing can be bad !

Some patients become obsessive-compulsive - and often end up harming themselves. They often become too aggressive or demanding, as a result of which they damage their relationship with their doctor.

Unhappy doctors are unlikely to provide a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on - which means that even if they get high quality medical care which is technically adequate, they often get little emotional support.

It's not a good idea to ruffle your doctor's feathers - and a high EQ ( emotional quotient) is as important as a high IQ ( intelligence quotient) when you are a patient. As the Buddha said, The Middle Path is often the best !


Concerned about anger management - yours? your spouse's? your colleagues'? your employees? Whether it's personal concern, wanting to develop personally, court-ordered, or employer-recommended, take our "Anger Management through Emotional Intelligence" course.

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Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Who Are You Grateful To This Thanksgiving?

URL: http://www.susandunn.cc/

Acknowledging the Team

This article is for you if you’re a behind-the-scenes kind of person: the administrative assistant who gets the presentation ready for the guys in marketing but doesn’t get to go to the meeting; the PR pro who writes all the CEO’s speeches and answers all the complain letters; the at-home mother who makes sure the concert pianist practices; the deputy chief whose job description is doing all the things the chief doesn’t like to do or can’t do; or the paralegal who prepares all the pleadings, knows all the codes, and does all the licking and stamping.

This article is also for you if benefit from the work of one of those people.

Temistocle Solear, Antonio Ghislanzoni, Henri Meilhac, Jules Barbier, Michael Carre, Giuseppe Giacosa, Luigi Illica, Renato Semoni, and Nicola Haym all know what this is like.
Who on earth are these people?

Well, even if you’re not an opera fan, I bet you’ve heard of the composers Verdi, Bizet, Mozart, Strauss, Gounod, Handel, Donizetti and Puccini. And I’m sure you’ve heard of some of their operas: Aida, Carmen, Cosi fan Tutte, Madama Butterfly, Faust and Don Giovanni, for instance.

Did you know that these composers wrote the music for their operas, but not the lyrics? Solear, Ghislanzoni and the other individuals in the list are what’s called “librettists.” It is they who wrote the words (the libretto) the opera singers sing, without which you would be listening to a symphony, not an opera. And we never hear their names! In most cases, the words were written first, and then the composers whose names we know so well, wrote the music.

Like Gilbert and Sullivan, they worked together in pairs. The inimitable Richard Wagner was the only one to compose all his own operas entirely by himself, creating both music and lyrics, which may account for why they are so powerful, so Wagnerian. This is quite a feat because composing music and writing words require different parts of the brain.

Sometimes the composer and librettist met in person, while other times they worked via correspondence. Strauss worked exclusively with one librettist, after writing his own lyrics for his first opera and finding out he wasn’t good at it, but most other composers switched around, finding the right librettist for the job, or one who was available. It’s not unlike the way many of us work these days, long-distance and by contract.

What an incredible collaboration an opera is. It takes costume and set designers as well, because an opera is as much visual as it is auditory, and it is what makes Grand Opera, grand. In the Santa Fe opera’s production of “Turnadot,” when the moon appeared, she iwas personified and costumed in a magnificence that seemed to dominate the stage for half an hour. Another opera I hope to see one day is Verdi’s “Aida,” I mean Verdi and Ghislanzoni’s “Aida,” on stage at the Bath of Caracalla in Rome. The Triumphal March of Rhadames features live elephants and horses on stage. Now that’s entertainment!

What we don’t see at an opera is the orchestra, a crucial element. They’re listed in the program, of course, and given their bows at the curtain call, but we only hear them, seated below in the orchestra pit.

Many elements go together to produce the opera as see that bears the name of one man only.
Take “Turnadot” for instance. It was librettist Semoni who gave Puccini the suggestion for the opera in the first place, telling him about Turandotte, a play written by Gozzi, based on a fable from the Arabian Nights.

Puccini had been searching for two years for a suitable plot for an opera, and at the age of 61, began “Turandot,” instructing his librettists, Adami and Semoni, to “pour great pathos into the drama.” Puccini, of course, is know for the most beautiful melodies in opera. He was also know for being extremely demanding, requiring endless rewrites from his librettists.

From his point of view, however, the librettists were difficult. We can read his letters begging them to do their work. Semoni was in charge of Act III, and Puccini’s letters beg, “The third! The third! The third!”

At one point, he confessed to a friend “Music disgusts me,” as he evidently had periods of self-doubt and composer’s block. Toscanini paid him a visit and gave him the encouragement to keep going. Every team has their Toscanini; or should.

Puccini was justified in urging completion of the opera as he died before the completion of the third act. The collaboration continued, as Toscanini found a composer named Franco Alfano, whose name is rarely mentioned, to complete it. The world premier took place on April 25th, 1926, the work of one guiding genius and many hands, hearts, and minds.

It isn’t that teamwork and collaboration is new, it’s that it’s newly being recognized. Most of us realize we couldn’t accomplish anything alone, while those behind the scenes who work long and willing hours, long for some recognition. “Appreciation,” after all, top the list when employees talk about what they want at their job. It’s number one so consistently, it’s a wonder it isn’t heeded more.

Richard Montuori, town manager of Bellica, Massachusetts, knows and appreciates his team. I love [my] job, he said in a newspaper interview. “Every day is different and presents new challenges. Finances are a daily and yearly challenge, but no one person ever accomplishes anything alone. We have excellent department heads and town boards that help keep the town moving in the right direction.”

Isn’t it nice to hear someone publicly acclaim the team that makes them shine? I hope your boss or manager does this for you, and that if you’re the boss or manager, you appreciate and acknowledge and sing the unsung heroes in your midst.

But how do you praise everyone? There are always so many.

Here’s a leadership trick I learned from a pro. At the culmination of a fundraising banquet engineered by many, and funded by many more, the director of the benefited-agency rose and thanked everyone who helped make it possible. Then he added, looking around the room, “and I’d especially like to thank someone – you know who you are – who made this happen.”
I thought it was me! So did many other people, I’m sure, and that was what the director had in mind, he told me later when I asked him whom he had in mind, because his glance around the room was professionally ambivalent.

It works. And it’s always, always true.

Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc/. Providing coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional success. I train and certify EQ coaches internationally. Email for info on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for free EQ ezine.

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Monday, November 20, 2006

Swimming with Dolphins Increases Emotional Intelligence


According to a recent press release from Kealakekua, Hawaii, swimming with dolphins improves emotional intelligence by developing an individual’s capacity for ‘biophilia’ - the ability to love life and connect with nature. Increases in emotional intelligence - the ability to become aware of, to manage, to integrate emotions, and capacities such as biophilia - lead to improved communications and interactions with others in social settings. Swimming with dolphins therefore helps individuals develop capacities for resolving interpersonal conflicts, says Dr. Michael Salla, an international expert in conflict resolution who has taught at prestigious universities in the United States and Australia. He has set up a swim-with-the-dolphin program for married couples. Read the rest of the article HERE.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I've also trained coaches who use horses to teach emotional intelligence. But you don't have to go to Hawaii to increase your EQ. You can take the EQ Course and with coaching. Call me at 817-741-7223 for more information, or mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Spot-coaching also available (one-time sessions). Good preparation for the holidays.

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Sunday, November 19, 2006

Things Not to Do Your First Week at a New Job


Check out my article which is posted on this great job blogsite: http://jobs002.blogspot.com/2006/11/11-things-not-to-do-first-week-on-your.html .
The hardest thing to do is break into groups that are already formed. If you haven't been to a kindergarten classroom lately, go take a look at you'll see this principle in action. A group of kids is playing together and New Child tries to "break in" or get included. There's a real art to it. Some kids have it and some don't. This is Emotional Intelligence at work, and of course you can learn HOW to do it. If someone will just tell you! It's very overt in the kindergarten classroom and it happens often and rapidly, so it's easy to observe. Breaking into a high school clique is harder to observe and more subtle. It's also far more brutal. And then there's the new job and/or new neighborhood or town. It just doesn't get any easier. While learning Emotional Intelligence and the ploys that tend to work doesn't always guarantee success, there are thing you can do that will essentially guarantee you will fail. Read this article for tips on what not to do the first few weeks on a new job.
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For EQ coaching, call 817-741-7223.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The UK - Singing Nursery Rhymes is not Emotional Intelligence

PARENTS FACE PROSECUTION IN BRITAIN FOR NOT SINGING NURSERY RHYMES ... A new program from Mrs. Hughes who gives details of Mr. Blair's "national parenting academy" and adds that it is necessary for children to develop "emotional intelligence and flexiblity, and to have good problem-solving and interpersonal skills too."

This is from the Optimist Patriot, a blog. "Scary stuff out of Britain," begins the blogger. He quotes from a site I could not access called The Corner.

This autumn is likely to see an extension of parenting orders that can force parents to attend parenting classes so that they can be used on the say so of local councils against parents.

For the first time, parenting orders are likely to be directed against parents whose children have committed no criminal offence.

The threat of action against parents who fail to sing nursery rhymes was unveiled by Mrs Hughes as she gave the first details of Mr Blair’s ‘national parenting academy’, a body that will train teachers, psychologists and social workers to intervene in the lives of families and become the ‘parenting workforce’.

Mrs Hughes said that it was necessary for children to develop ‘emotional intelligence and flexibility, and to have good problem-solving and interpersonal skills too.’
Oh my! Let's don't confuse "singing nursery rhymes" with emotional intelligence. This, I fear, is typical media hyperbole. What a shame they did not quote the two sentences just above this one. Mrs. Beverley Hughes, Children's Minister, is further quoted in the Daily News as adding: 'These attitudes start with good family experiences, in the home, with strong, loving, aspirational parents. So supporting parents and providing good early years education can pay dividends here.'

Mrs Hughes said: 'It is now clear that what parents actually do has a huge impact on children's well-being and capacity to succeed, both at the time and in future.

'Some parents already know that reading and singing nursery rhymes with their young children will get them off to a flying start - often because this is how they themselves were brought up.

'For other parents without this inheritance these simple techniques are a mystery and are likely to remain so - unless we act and draw them to their attention.'
(from The Daily Mail reporting the incident, entitled "The Nursery Rhyme Police")
Offending parents can now be sent to court-ordered parenting classes.
The brouhaha is about whether these things can be "ordered," and thus the willful emphasis on "singing nursery rhymes." This is, of course an EMOTIONAL ISSUE. One blog responder, for instance, wrote that stories about trolls under bridges, old women shoved in to ovens, and grandmothers eaten by wolves was ..." He wasn't thinking straight, as you can see, because these, of course, are NOT NURSERY RHYMES, they are FAIRY TALES. And that's exactly what high-running emotions do -- cloud our thinking.
Whatever the arguments here, there's nothing wrong with EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. Clearly it is needed.
Hooray for Mr. Blair and Mrs. Hughes for supporting it. Are their methods the way to do it? Well, if we would each take care of our own shop, learn emotional intelligence, pass it on to the kids ...
Order my ebook "How to Develop Your Child's EQ" for practical tips. Nobody's ordering you to do it, here in the US of A, it's just an emotionally intelligent thing to do.
Regardless of politics, there's not a person in the world in their right mind who could argue there's something wrong with children developing ‘emotional intelligence and flexibility, and to have good problem-solving and interpersonal skills too.’
Is there?
How IS your EQ? Take THE EQ MAP and find out. Then get coaching to address any deficits.
P.S. According to the bbc which doesn't mention "emotional intelligence," but does mention the nursery rhymes, "The Department for Education and Skills stressed there would be no element of compulsion in the help and advice offered to parents and dismissed newspaper claims that some would be forced to attend nursery rhyme classes."
But in the bbc article this was added, which no doubt caused the controversy: "Speaking to the annual conference of the National Family and Parenting Institute, Mrs Hughes said research suggested class was still a more important factor than intellect in how children achieve."

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Schools are Paying More Attention to Emotional Intelligence

E is for Emotional
I is for Intelligence
This is an excerpt from an article in the Hartford Courant. To read the whole article, go HERE.

"Beyond The Three R's More Schools Taking Note Of Emotional Intelligence"
November 12, 2006

BY KATHLEEN MEGAN, Courant Staff Writer

Kathy Neuhaus is reading a story to her third-graders at the University of Hartford Magnet School and tells them to tear off a piece of a paper heart every time something hurtful is said to the main character. In South Windsor, at the Philip R. Smith Elementary School, a small, dark-haired first-grade boy complains that he is being left out of a club. He and another boy are referred to a "peace circle" painted on the hardtop, where the principal coaches them as they talk about it.
In Hartford elementary schools, if a child is clearly having a difficult time - acting out or having some other social or emotional trouble - the child can ask for a "chill pass" to report to a special office where he or she can talk about feelings and discuss strategies to handle them.
Not too long ago, feelings were not a topic that was much discussed in the school ...
To help develop your child's emotional intelligence, order my ebook, "How To Develop Your Child's Emotional Intelligence."

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Study Shows Employers Wants People with Emotional Intelligence

What's yours? Take THE EQ COURSE.

"Fortune 500 companies want to hire mothers these days, outlines Katherine Ellison in her book, “The Mommy Brain” because they know that mother’s have “emotional intelligence” that will help them succeed at the “people” skills needed in their jobs. Ellison suggests four subsets of skills that mothers can claim, which put them at a distinct advantage in the marketplace: multi-tasking under pressure, dependability, leadership and caregiving." For the rest of the article, go HERE.

Increasingly we will see employers actively seeking people with measured high emotional intelligence. Get the edge. Start improving yours now with our proven method. See THE EQ COURSE, or call for coaching: 817-741-7223 for individual coaching along with The EQ Course - the most effective way to improve your EQ.

Emotional Intelligence: Mihaly Csikzentmihalyi


We direct you to Swami Jai Sivananda's great blog. Read the whole article HERE.
The Swami says "Adapt, Adjust, Accommodate"

Remember ... the brain is input.

We need our emotional intelligence more than ever these days. I recently observed a job interview where many of the questions involved "fun." I wasn't sure what they were getting at. Fun to me is being challenged in a comfortable zone in a relaxed atmosphere where there's always something to do. Turns out this is what Csikszentmihalyi had in mind, and what the better managers are trying to do these days to stop the hemorrhage of departing employees. Average length of a job these days: 18-24 months. [To learn how to handle the 'new' job interview these days, order my ebook called "How to Ace the 'New' Job Interview." It isn't the same old interview, and you need to prepare and know what to expect. Believe me, the 'new' questions can leave you mystified. If you've found yourself wonder What on earth are they after here? order this ebook now. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .]

And now, an excerpt from the Swami's blog. Listen to how much this relates to Emotional Intelligence. Remember that Emotoinal Intelligence makes your life work better, and makes you feel better, and ... the bottom line is always HEALTH.

There is a wise old saying that advises: `Play, that you may be serious.’ We can toy around with that to add, `Play, that you may be seriously healthy.’The internationally renowned psychiatrist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who developed the famous `flow’ theory, on the fluid manner in which true genius achieved great heights, would agree.

He discovered some kids treated everything as play, even activity which adults would dismiss as hard work. Other kids would find everything tough, labeling every activity, including games, as `work’.

Following these kids into their adolescence he found, not surprisingly, that those who treated everything as play were socially more content and far more happier than those kids who continued to treat every activity as drudgery. Today over 2,50,000 surveys worldwide have been done to study the `flow’, confirming everything that Csikszentmihalyi intuited. Some of these surveys, focusing on the health benefits of `the flow’, threw up intriguing impact of play on our bodies.

Play reshaped the neurological map:
  • It organized emotional circuits, a function otherwise performed by rapid eye movement (REM) during dream sleep.
  • It impacted neuro-transmitters, our internal communication, facilitating the creation of those which energized and pacified the nervous system.
  • It acted as a pill to the ills of panic, so we could grow. Panic, like all negative feelings, can stunt emotional intelligence, which is today an important criteria to judge a person’s true merit.

Other innovators have taken up the baton from Csikszentmihalyi. The New Games movement, originated by the international play expert Bernie DeKoven, argues the case for fun. The big bonus, says DeKoven, is health.

Muscle relaxation. When we have fun, particularly a bellyful of it, muscles progressively contract and relax. When we are laughing the abdominal muscles are alternately contracted and relaxed.

Play provides ample scope for `internal jogging’, by calling into play powerful muscles which are not directly under our control, like the heart muscles and the diaphragm (involved with respiration). Play can be likened to a sort of gentle aerobic exercise.

It lowers blood pressure. High blood pressure is, as everyone knows, a silent killer.

What may be defined as play? Csikszentmihalyi, who studied over 90 of the world’s most creative people (including scientist Jonas Salk), defined this as any activity where there was the perfect balance between challenge and ability.

If there is any tilt towards either of this, the result can be catastrophic.

If challenge is greater, than we are strung out and stressed. When the ability is greater, we begin to yawn and turn comatose.

This is why companies are increasingly trying to staunch the high attrition rate in jobs(particularly in BPOs) with the new-fangled `fun’ managers who ensure the employees walk the tight-rope between challenge and ability and retain the playful flow. That is why watching TV cannot be categorized as play, since it involves neither challenge nor ability.
If you're an introvert you'll especially enjoy this definition of flow. You may have been in a stimulating discussion with someone who had you on the edge, enjoying yourself tremendously, and then hear the person say, "Well, that's enough. Let's get together some time and have some fun." When you were having quite a bit of fun right then and there! For more on introverts, check out Nancy Fenn's BLOG. She's the national expert on introverts. Visit her Introverts site. You'll be so glad you did. She's the Introverts' Coach.
What are you doing for your immune system? Our emotions effect our immune system, and our immune system is our health. Order Arbonne's DefenseBuilder and stay ahead of the game. It's the emotionally intelligent thing to do.
Click HERE to take The EQ Course(r). Get prepared for the holidays.

How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams

by Susan Dunn, MA, Relationship Coach

As Find Your Dream Man Expert for a major website, I get lots of questions, but I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me before what precise steps to take. I thought it was a great question, and here’s my answer:

1. Sign up with a Relationship Coach.

When you're really ready to get serious, make the commitment to work with a Relationship Coach. A good one can tell you, from listening to many other women in the same position, what works and what doesn't. They will also shape this general knowledge to fit you as a unique individual. This is worth every cent. As a Relationship Coach, that is what we do. Never was it more true, "Never give advice in a crowd."

That having been said, I'll give some general advice—to the crowd.

2. Make the list.

You know what I'm talking about. Particularly pay attention to "must have" and "can't stand." I have clients make 3 columns - what they want, what they don't want, and in the middle, "rule out." For instance if you demand that your dream man have "no kids." Well, this could really be something to take a look at. Some men have that situation well-managed and others don't. It is essential to review this list with your Relationship Coach, who can direct you concerning what is too rigid, what is too idealistic, what is superficial and will not get you what you want, etc.

3. Envision what you want - see it, feel it, smell it, give it life.

Imagine that he is already with you. Picture him putting groceries in your refrigerator, walking your dog, kissing you goodbye in the morning.

4. Scrupulously clean up your Self-Talk.

Likely you'll be thinking about this a lot, so it’s important that you think about it right and clean up your "self-talk." Remove all negatives in the thoughts that run through your mind (or that you actually verbalize), i.e., you do not dream of a man who isn't a drug addict or alcoholic, you dream of a man who is mentally and emotionally healthy. Dream of a man who has a good job and career history, don't think "I don't want another man who can't hold a job." Your subconscious does not hear the "not" or any other negative word or term. If you say, "I want a man who's substance-dependent free," even then it hears "substance-dependent." Work on this.

5. Take action. Do something. This gives you back your Personal Power (an EQ competency).

Granted an old flame from college may call you, but just the act of getting out to meet men will speed the process. Work with your Relationship Coach for ideas on where the kind of man you want might be found. Bars and dance halls aren't the best bet for "dream man" material. The women I have worked with in my Relationship Coaching practice have found their dream man in these places: SCUBA diving class; Sunday school; volunteering; introduced by his sister; at a singles' party at a friend's house where everyone single was invited to bring a single friend who was available; introduced by their children; bowling league; through eharmony or other Internet dating sites (I cover internet dating in my eBook, "Dating Survival Manual for Women."

I should add here that the woman who used to cut my hair met her husband at a bar one night. She brought him home, he stayed the night and never left. It does happen. It is statistically improbable. And I don’t know about you, but all those statistics always land right on my head. I’m not much on trying to beat the odds. No other woman I’ve talked to who has slept with a man on the first night has kept him. I don’t know a long-married couple that met in a bar. Was she just lucky she could break the rules like that and win?

Come to think of it, they’ve only been married 2 years. I ought to check and see how it’s going. After all, Dream Men are forever.

6. Work on you.

Dream Guys are looking for Dream Girls. Are you one? Or do you need a little polishing up?

7. Be happy.

It’s contagious and its attractive.

Are you miserable because you’re single? If you’re miserable single, guess what? You’re going to be miserable married. If you aren’t happy because you don’t have something, having that something isn’t going to make you happy. You can project your need in such a way that it will drive a man away, because he will think there’s no way he could ever fill up that empty hole. Assume a virtue if you have it not, and act your way into happiness. Actually happiness isn’t a permanent state; but some people make misery a permanent state. It has a nasty way of becoming habitual.

So those are a few of the steps.

But the single best thing you can do is make a commitment to get Relationship Coaching. Put your money where your mouth is, so to speak. Pay someone who has had a lot of experience and can shorten your learning curve and save you a lot of grief. After all, if you knew how to attract your Dream Man you would already have him, right?

You probably spend more money going to movies and eating out, and where has that gotten you???

For relationship coaching, call me at 817.741.7223 or
mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Markus Wolf Dies in Berlin: A Man who Knew Emotional Intelligence

"Making use of human weaknesses in intelligence work is a logical matter. It keeps coming up, and of course you try to look at all the aspects that interest you in a human being." -- Markus (Marcus) Wolf

Markus Johannes "Mischa" Wolf who epitomized East German spying during the Cold war, died today in his home in Berlin.

He was head of the General Reconaissance Administration, the foreign intelligence division, of East Germany's Ministry for State Security (Stasi). According to Wikipedia, he was the Stasi's number two for 34 years, most of the Cold War. He ran a network of 4,000 spies and claimed responsiblity for the downfall of Chancellor Brandt.

We have here the sword and the shield of Emotional Intelligence. In the EQ Refresher course lesson this week, we're taking a look at Othello ... another case where someone's knowledge of human nature and human weakness was used to bring someone down. Othello refused to give the promotion to Iago, and the enraged Iago knew exactly how to do Othello in. He did so in a cold, logical calculating way, without ever laying a hand on him. (There isn't much about "human nature" Shakespeare didn't know.)

According to the BBC, Wolf was the model for John LeCarre's character "Karla". In his memoirs, Memoirs of a Spymaster, he claims to have "perfected the use of sex in spying." He was described as tall and incredibly handsome. See his photo here.

Use Emotional Intellience proactively, or to protect yourself. Take the EQ Course. Get EQ coaching - mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

How to Ace the 'New" Job Interview


IT TAKES more than intelligence, credentials and experience to get the job these days. It takes EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ) TO ACE THE 'NEW' INTERVIEW. (and we're here to help)

Talked to anyone lately who's had a job interview? Maybe it was you. The average employee in the US today changes jobs every 18-24 months, so there's a lot of job interviewing going on, yet you go for your interview, like my client Anne did, and the interview is "suspicious" that you've been "job hopping" -- like you wanted to, couldn't hold a job, or it was unusual.

Anne's had a lot of jobs, yes. First she got laid off. Then she got downsized. Safe at last, she thought, and then her manager died after a year, there was a consolidation and she was out on the streets again. Six months into her next job, her husband's company folded and they had to move with he got a job in another state.

Does this sound familiar? It's happening a lot and it isn't your fault!!

Most clients tell me the questions are getting "strange" and they're hearing "hidden agenda."

That's why I've written "Acing the 'New' Interview," with insider information.

No, it's not the same old interview. There are a lot of questions aimed at emotional intelligence, flight risk, litigiousness, and mental stability.

Interviewers are being glibly "trained" to interview for mental stability and "people skills," and "ability to get along" in a 4-hour seminar, and so they sit down with their list, which they barely understand, and proceed to ask a bunch of canned questions in language that is frankly peculiar.

You may face a cute 30 year old with pink hair who can't even pronounce the words she's reading from a list and whose jargon is so thick and heavy, it's like a foreign language.

In this ebook, which is gleaned from client interviews, and interviews with actual hirers (including one who was drunk, at a cocktail party, and very uninhibited about sharing his "killer" questions and the rationale behind them), we:
  • Demystify the process
  • Explain precisely what it is they fear
  • What they're looking for - what they hope you DO, and what they hope you DON'T do
  • How they get around the questions that are illegal to ask, because they're going to ask them (and what you should do)
  • Under what circumstances you should refuse to answer, and how
  • How to handle it if you've had to file bankruptcy
  • What their notion of a "healthy person" is and how to appear that way, in other words how top recognize the questions, what's behind them, and how to answer them, precisely.
  • Examples of some of the worst questions we've heard
  • How to stay in the safe zone when need be, and how to know when to go there
  • How to answer impossible questions like "team player but works well alone"
  • How to specifically answer landmines like, "describe a colleague you didn't get along with and what you did about it" (yikes!)
  • What to wear to an interview when the company is 24/7 "casual"
  • What to do when you get one of those "Are you still beating your wife?" questions
  • How to figure out when you land in a new culture - many of us move to a new state, halfway across the country, or even a new country, and have to rush right off to an interview
  • Dealing with multi-cultural -- how do you deal with theirs, how do you deal with yours
  • How to say it without saying it
  • What to do with the innuendos
  • How not to take the bait and it will be thrown to you, you can count on that -- in other words, what used to be called "trick questions," but that's a mild term compared to what's going on today
  • How to 'save' an interviewer who is clearly in over her or his head
  • The things you must never say
  • The thing you must always say
  • 3 people there? 6? Who do you play to?
  • How to tell them they aren't making any sense without offending them
  • What an employee lawyer would want you to know
  • And more!

No holds barred! We want you to get the job. Step-by-step intructions on how to survive and thrive. We want to lead you through what has become a maze of jargon, traps, and confusing questions thrown at you by disorganized and incompetent interviewers.

Order HERE. It's $49.99 and packed with information. It' hot off the press with all the latest.

When you read this book you'll laugh, you'll cry, but we want you to ace the interview and get the job.

Do it now. Chances are you'll need it before 2 years is up.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Emotional Intelligence Coaching


NOW is the time to get coaching.

Whether that look is aimed at you, or someone you love, or you just have to be an innocent bystander ... it could ruin the pumpkin pie.

DON'T WAIT. Email me now - sdunn@susandunn.cc .

If you have a knot in your stomach just accepting the invitation, or if it isn't an "invitation," but a "demand," with a big guilt trip laying in wait ... take action now.

Coaching deals with just such problems and issues, helping healthy people stay healthy and chalk up successes.

  • Coaching (one-time consultations are fine and often all that's needed)
  • Proactive learning -- take THE EQ COURSE. You'll be ahead of the game for the rest of your life.
  • Get serious. The EQ Course plus coaching, for a 3-month committment. 10% from now until Christmas. Why? Because you need it.
  • The DIFFICULT PEOPLE COURSE. Tailor made for those family get-togethers, because there is nothing more "difficult" than someone in your own family. The feelings are intense ... the habits are ingrained ... others play the game along with the perpetrator ... they even set him/her up!
  • Learn how to manage the 3 choices you always have. Which one is appropriate. How to use it and when.

Let's face it. It's hard to be grateful when you're greeted with a smirk and, "There you are, ha ha, dressed like a teenager again, ha ha. On, no, really, I love it. You look darling. [sote voce] for a heroine in a Faulkner novel, ha ha. What? Of course I don't mean it..."

I coach couples ... husbands and wives, lovers, mothers and daughters, and occasionally a beleagured son, like the young man in the photo above.

Work some coaching into your holiday schedule and budget. Look at it as the best investment you can make for the New Year.

You don't want to be faced with the same situation next holiday season do you?

It's important for YOU, and also because there are children watching, and we learn our EQ (or not) from our parents and other significant adults. (See my ebook, How to Develop Your Child's EQ: Specific Tips and other resource ebooks.

Soon you'll be saying, like my other clients, "This is the missing piece."

Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc. Call 817-741-7223.

When the weather gets cold and the stress heats up, it's hard on your immune system. And your immune system is your health. ARBONNE products are made with pure, natural ingredients. My customers with allergies and sensitivities tell me all the time what a relief it is not to have a headache or stomachache ... from their makeup? Yes! Because what you put on your skin is absorbed into your bloodstream.

Shop with me safely online at http://susandunn.myarbonne.com . There are some great seasonal specials and they make super gifts for someone you really care about.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

THINK EQ doesn't belong in the workplace? Think again! (In fact the military was an early-adopter of emotional intelligence training.)
Take the EQ Course and learn more.

Check out this video of the USS Montana

BTW, one of the tags is EGO.

Not feeling so good?. Check out the cosmetics, lotions and supplements from Arbonne. Scientifically designed to support the immune system. What you put on your face is absorbed into the bloodstream. Aren't there enough pollutants out there already. Shop safely online with me at MyArbonne.

Tired of working for someone else. Become a certified Emotional Intelligence Coach. #1 rated program on the Internet. Training worldwide. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information. 10% isdn. 10% discount this month. Mention this offer.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Importance of Sending Flowers


It demystifies things we sense are true, bu might feel funny "believing." Most people call it "the missing piece."

For instance, when we love someone, we send them flowers. Even little boys know to pick flowers for their mommies. When we receive flowers we feel very, very special. If you work in an office you know what it's like when a woman receives flowers.

For instance, take a look at the results of these studies conducted by the Society of American Florists (SAF) in conjunction with researchers from various universities in the U.S

* SAF's Emotional Impact of Flowers Study:

This study scientifically proved that flowers make people happy immediately upon receiving them. Furthermore, that happiness lasts for a long time, and these happy people make more connections with other people, thus spreading their happiness.

* SAF's Flowers & Seniors Study:

Senior citizens who receive flowers experience less depression than those who don't. They
also score higher on memory tests and make the effort to seek out conversations with other people.

* SAF's Impact of Flowers & Plants on Workplace Productivity Study:

When flowers and plants are present in the workplace, people are better able to perform their job duties. They're more productive and come up with more creative solutions to problems.
Obviously, when you're able to perform well on the job, you'll experience less workplace stress.
Take THE EQ COURSE and see all the things you have inklings about. This program works.