Monday, September 29, 2008

The Dow falls / Emotional Intelligence

The Dow falls 777.68 points. That's dizzying.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - the financial market, which SHOULD be rational and logical, is the most emotional thing going on.

And why this fall?

Because we do not like uncertainty.

One reason to study emotional intelligence is because you can't make a rational decision if you don't understand what's going on emotionally. Much of what goes on in offices, between people, between countries, in marriages is emotionally based. It's part of the data.

If you've been in the market as long as I have - not to mention the real experts out there - this is to be expected. It happened after 9/11. I was in for "Black Friday." The real diehards will be saying, "Now's the time to get IN."

The knee-jerk reaction when something falls through and becomes unclear (like the negotiations) is panic, and this is what we are seeing. Is it smart to get out of the market now? Can you even think clearly about it?

Take the EQ Course and coaching, and learn more. It's very helpful.

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Friday, September 26, 2008

Emotional Intelligence is Appreciated at Weddings

Emotional Intelligence - appreciated at weddings.

Recently I attended a family wedding in D. C. Is there anything more beautiful than watching the bride and groom dance their first dance as married couple?

You wonder what goes through the mother-of-the-groom's mind as she watches ... here the reader and the groom await the procession to begin, while the mother obserces.
Those of us in the wedding party reminisced about other weddings and mishaps ... when dresses didn't arrive, the wedding had to be held up an hour awaiting the arrival of a grandmother who was lost, the one where it poured down rain, the guests wouldn't leave the reception bar bill became a hemorrhage of money ... the ones where the families were displeased with the choices and making things difficult ... when the ring bearer bolted at the last minute and ran from the church ... a rehearsal dinner in someone's home and a thunderstorm blew out all the electricity. The cousins who don't get along, the sister from N.C. who refuses to be seated near her brother from Pittsburgh, the bride who has a meltdown, and the groom's mother who has a migraine. Heck, at the last one I went to, the bride's grandfather had to be taken to the ER the night of the rehearsal dinner.
You simply can't plan for all that can happen!
And in this case, we prayed about the weather - scheduled outside for 8 hours, when there had been hurricane winds the week before. I'm not sure I'd have gone for that one - that's a lot of stress. Yet it was the most perfect of afternoons/evenings.
And I helped pull the decorations together. They'd been bought and were there, but no one knew what to do with them. I'm an old gala-giver and was thrilled to coordinate it all. And in my gala-giving days I learned that events always seem to unravel just before they begin, but then come back together nicely, with a little ingenuity. IF YOU STAY CALM. It also comes down to small, petty details that matter -- I knew we would have to go around and pull up the wicks on each of those 100s of tea lights!
What does this have to do with emotional intelligence?? Oh, all the things above. Any wedding is a time of high emotions. Much planning, lots to pull together, people coming together who don't get along (or didn't), and a million chances for things to go awry.
In fact the last outside wedding I went to, it POURED down rain the entire time. The immediate wedding party had a tent, but the rest of us didn't. Our heels were sinking into inches of mud, and we all felt like participants in a wet t-shirt contest.
We learn to cope, and we learn that things are rarely perfect. In this case, one of the men involved in the set-up learned an important lesson. He called the next day and said "I resented having to do all that work, but now I'm sad and lonely and sorry it's over."
With EQ we remember to enjoy each present moment ...because usually we are sad and lonely when they are over! We learn to enjoy our expectations (it's half the fun), and to adjust when our more fanciful expectations aren't met. And that you never know. The wedding the was deluged was Greek, and it turns out rain at a Greek wedding is a great sign of fertility and happiness. Who knew?
Take the EQ course and learn more about intelligent processing, use and management of emotions.

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Thanksgiving on a Budget

How to Have Thanksgiving on a Budget

By Susan Dunn, M.A., The EQ Coach

I'm delighted that this article has been chosen for the November issue of the Key Biscayne Magazine. Since we're all feeling the squeeze right now, with gas prices up, stock market reeling, and unemployment rising, this is good information for you to have.


Yes, it's the time of abundance, but if you're on a budget, stick to it and avoid some stress and guilt. It's the emotionally intelligent thing to do! has some great savings tips, and I've added a few of my own.

1. Know your portions.

It's tempting to have a big, beautiful bird, but it's more sensible to buy only as much as you'll need for your family. The formula is 1 lb. per person. If you want leftovers, 1.5-2.0 lbs. per person.

2. Take good care of the bird right after dinner.

If you'll take the time to remove the meat and wrap it carefully in saran wrap or air-tight containers, it will remain nice and moist and tempting for the next meals. For the immediate next dinner, place the turkey in a plastic container, put a piece of waxed paper and then put some wet paper towels atop that. Keeps it nice and moist for sandwiches the next night.

3. Plan your leftovers.

Get those recipes ready. The meal's good just warmed over for the next night, as long as the gravy holds, but after that there's Turkey Tetrazzini, turkey soup, turkey hash. Rotate it with other meals. (Don't refreeze once-frozen turkey.) Try a variety of flavors to go with the turkey. Turkey Tetrazzini is bland. Try your own version of Eggs Benedict, using turkey instead of Canadian bacon. The hollandaise will add a zip. Make King Ranch Chicken (aka Turkey) with hot sauce. They won't even know it's turkey! End with cold turkey salad; the mayonnaise will moisten it. Or Turkey soup - google for recipes, there are tons. Some people even use the bones for stock for this.

4. Grocery shop the day after Thanksgiving.

Bargain-o-rama. Have you ever been? Surplus fresh turkeys at pennies on the dollar, bakery items, breads, fresh yams. Clean out your freeze and get ready. So ... shop for your Christmas meal the day after Thanksgiving!

5. Pay for convenience when it counts.

I like to buy throwaway aluminum pans to cook the turkey in. It's just such a mess to clean up afterwards. My sister buys gravy from the catering shop; an indulgence, but worth it to her. Many young brides find gravy to be the most challenging thing, so it can be a great stress remover, because don't we all live for the gravy!!

6. Consider alternatives.

Make your own pie crust and bread. Unless you live in sweet potato country, canned yams or sweet potatoes are a better bet than fresh. Pre-baked breads are often sacrificed as loss leaders and with the rest of the spread, people don't really care. Pumpkin filling mix, often on sale, is cheaper than buying canned pumpkin and adding evaporated milk and eggs.

7. Make your own stuffing.

That's never on sale! Start on your stuffing mix now. Easy as pie! When your loaf of bread is getting old, put the last pieces on a cookie sheet and put it in the oven. Warm at 350 for 5 mins., then turn off. Leave the bread there to dry out. Put into baggies and save. Keep doing this. If you like cornbread stuffing, start planning lots of chili and cornbread meals! When it's time to make the stuffing, crush the dried bread (still in the bag) with a rolling pin and it'll look and act just like the storebought mix.

8. Decorations? Festive wear?

Shop at Goodwill right now. I'm a thrifty shopper and I always find thematic sweaters at my local Goodwill. Next tip -- If you didn't do it last year, do it this year. Go out the day after Thanksgiving and pick up all those napkins, tableware, ceramic centerpieces and cute decorations for a pittance. If you like a holiday sweater or t-shirt, check those sales out too. And don't let Madison Avenue jerk you around with the change of color-scheme every year. Choose one you like and stick with it!

9. Don't forget about potluck.

Most people who are guests at your table for Thanksgiving, would actually love to bring something so they feel they've contributed and are part of the holiday. And we all secretly feel "it wouldn't be Thanksgiving without XXX," so give them the chance to bring what means Thanksgiving to them. My daughter-in-law's Mom and Dad have pecan trees in the back yard, so they always bring the pecan pie, and what a savings that is!

10. Trompe l'oeil, it's called in France -- fool the eye.

My grandmother taught me this one. She mashed the potatoes and then put dollops of butter on top to melt -- for the eye. Splurge maybe on one item, for instance, some of the stores sell molded butter in holiday shapes. This can sure dress up the brown'n'bake rolls!

© Susan Dunn, the EQ Coach, helps clients develop their emotional intelligence and personal foundation for more health, success and happiness. Visit her on the web at and for FREE ezine.

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Monday, September 22, 2008

Logic and Emotional Intelligence

From The EQ Coach about emotional intelligence

If you want to be a logical and reasonable person, where does "emotional intelligence" fit in?

Lets face it, there are some professions that pride themselves in not being "emotional." Doctors, lawyers, CPAs and engineers come to mind. When I mention "emotional intelligence" they can't see how it would apply to them.

The truth is that the higher up you get in a field - or WANT to - the more you are going to need emotional intelligence to go along with those wonderful logic and intellectual skills and training and degrees.

Why? Because you can't make logical decisions about something you don't know anything about. And most decisions involved people! You may decide, for instance, that the corporation needs a new LAN ... but you're going to have to CONVINCE someone of that.

You may sit down logically and plan your talk to the jury, but you are going to be lost if you can't read their reactions to what you are saying as you deliver the speech.

You can't be an effective surgeon in the operating room if the nurse at your side makes you angry.

Emotional intelligence includes things like focus, managing your own emotions, understanding the emotions of others, "gut feelings," nonverbal communication and many other things that LOGIC CANNOT TELL YOU.

In fact most of the most important decisions in life cannot be made by logic alone. At some point, the data will run out.

Let take the example of the stock market right now, with the state of the US economy. What should you do with your investments at this point? When will the stock market 'come back'? Should you run to treasury bills? CDs? Try and hit the low point and get back in the market?

If you read the experts, you will get conflicting opinions.

Learn more about emotional intelligence (EQ) with The EQ Coach, Susan Dunn, M.A. Coaching by phone, Internet (email), on your site, or at our beautiful facility in Dallas (convenient to both DFW and Love). Why not get away for a weekend and come for an EQ Retreat? Great for CEOs, professionals, and all interested parties.

Email me at for more information.

I also train and certify EQ coaches worldwide. Long-distance or at our facilities in Dallas.

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

What coaching is all about --

"Don't wait for someone to take you under their wing. Find a good wing and climb up underneath it." - Frank C. Bucaro

If you need a wing, that's what coaches are for. I love to support people in their goals, help them generate options and alternatives, get from A to Z, make good transitions, improve relationships - and many other important things.

If you like to be the "wing" for others, why not get certified as a coach. My program is unique - individualized, empirical data (scientific research), fast, affordable, and long-distance, or seminar in Dallas - your choice.

Email me for more information at .

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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Courage and Character

"Ordinary people, even weak people, can do extraordinary things through temporary courage generated by a situation. But the person of character does not need the situation to generate his courage. It is a part of his being and a standard approach to all life's challenges." - Michael Josephson
Is courage part of character? What is character? Is character related to emotional intelligence?
I think so. That's why I teach it. Email to get started - or call 817-741-7223.
Ask me about the EQ Coach Certification program. Certification available for life coaching, emotional intelligence, career, relationships, transitions, retirement and more. EQ relates to everything!

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Friday, September 05, 2008

Who Are You?

"Tension is who you think you should be.
Relaxation is who you are."
- Chinese Proverb

Susan Dunn, M.A.
Life Coach
Dating Coach -

eMail me at or call me at 817-741-7223 for personal coaching in all areas.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Palin and Moral Compass


Emotional Intelligence/Moral Compass

excerpt from Tom Clark, CTV Washington Bureau Chief as it appeared in

"Sarah Palin knew her daughter was pregnant ... Palin needs to tell Americans why that was an acceptable choice, and more, she needs to tell voters what it says about her moral and ethical compass."

I must add here, do we need to have HER tell us what it means. Do we not sense it from the action? That having been said ...

Some say the moral compass is hardwired. I find this untenable ... it certainly isn't hardwired in all humans, or we wouldn't have murderers, thieves and child abusers. It's the nature/nuture controvery scientists are always dealing with. (Pyschology 101 informs that it is usually both.)

Where do we get a sense of right and wrong? Obviously from our parents. And its their BEHAVIOR we observe, not their words. Obviously from some sort of limbic wiring as well. Reptiles eat their young if hungry. Humans do not.

I believe it is related to our feelings. Behind every behavior is a feeling. There are times when our feelings conflict. It is then that the moral/ethical compass comes in to play.

There's an old exercise in Philosophy 101 - the man's child will die without the medicine so he steals it. The Final Exam Question is: "Is this wrong?? (Please discuss is also added, of course)

Emotional intelligence involves learning how the brains (plural) work ... it includes a good deal of etiquette ... it implies moral and ethical behavior. Intentionality, for instance - saying what you mean and meaning what you say; doing what you say you will do. At least my EQ course does.

A small example - recently I was interviewed by a major magazine about "the etiquette of tipping." The interviewer asked me many questions beginning, "But is it wrong to ..."

Take the EQ Course and learn more. EQ is the key to wellness, good living, success, happiness, and maybe even to a moral and ethical compass.

Email me at .

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Tuesday, September 02, 2008

For Leadership you must have Emotional Intelligence

Blackbird Leadership are Management Consultants & Executive Coaches specializing in Leadership Development, according to their website.
Take a look at the first thing they list under their leadership approach:

Blackbird Leadership's approach
Emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence!

Here at EQ Central, we specialize in training and certifying emotional intelligence coaches, as well as working with individuals and professionals (lawyers, doctors, therapists, professors) and others interested in increasing their own emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligenge is key to leadership. It is like the "meta" skill. It is also crucial to wellness, happiness, and success at work and at home.

Reason No. 99 to learn EQ with us: "5 minutes of anger suppresses your immune system for up to 8 hours."

Today's quote about leadership: "What they know of him [the leader] must be what they hope and require." John Keegan, The Mask of Command

Come learn from the Emotional Intelligence Coach who trains the others. eMail me at , or call me at 817-741-7223 to discuss options and programs.

Susan Dunn, M.A.
Dean, Coach Certification and Training

Individual coaching in all areas
Coaching and training all over the world
Long-distance by phone, email
Seminars in Dallas and other cities
Online EQ Course (interactive with email, phone support)

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How to Make Good Decisions

Emotional Intelligence - How to Make Good Decisions
Making good decisions is what determines the course and success of you life, both at work and at home.

Make decisions with your heart and then implement them with your head. You would think logic and analysis would be the most important part, but that comes afterwards. Remember, Capt. Kirk was the captain. Mr. Spok was just the engineer.

How to decide? "If you know what you feel, you'll know what you want." (M. K. Downing). This is what we mean when we say "gut feeling" - just KNOWING it's right for you.

Most of us were never taught to KNOW how we feel. This leaves you lost when it comes time to make the most important decisions. Becoming intelligent and informed about your emotions will bring your more happiness, better health, and more success at work and at home.
Let me teach you how to hone in on this, and the other important skills involved in emotional intelligence. There are several options, alone or in combination.
  • Personal Coaching
  • 1 1/2 day Seminar in Dallas (most weekends)
  • Interactive Internet course (The EQ Course)
  • Combination

Improving your emotional intelligence (knowing your feelings, how they work, how to manage them, to use them for the important information they provide, what to do about anger so you don't harm yourself or others or your relationships, how to develop intuition (your surest guide) ... these are just some of the concepts we cover.

Your emotional intelligence is crucial to happiness and wellness. (Did you know that 5 mins. of anger suppresses your immune system for up to 8 hours?)
Let me guide you to a better life. Email for information -, or call me at 817-741-7223. We can start immediately.

Susan Dunn, M.A., Clinical Psychology
Founding member of Coachville, on Thomas Leonard's R&D Team
Expert on emotional intelligence
Training and certification for coaches, internationally.


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