Are You Enjoying Music This Christmas?

SWEETS TO THE SWEET

A good way to enjoy the holidays is with music. It can calm your frazzled nerves! We have access to some of the most beautiful music in the world at this time.

This season I've enjoyed "The Nutcracker" with a friend, and then went alone to Trans-Siberian Orchestra, because I couldn't find anyone else intereste in going. Guess what? It was held at our SBC Center (where the San Antonio Spurs play) and (1) It was the first time the SBC Center has ever SOLD OUT and (2) It was the largest audience the Trans-Siberian Orchester has ever played to. GO SAN ANTONIO! It was a fun event. The audience liked the rock version of "Nutcracker" best of all. The light show was amazing, the singers wonderful. Like an opera, the story made little sense and was just thematic. The individual presentations were amazing. My fav. was the young male guitar player with the big, big smile and mane of golden hair. I think the guys liked the female first violinist best with her long black hair, fit body, and black spandez bicycle pants!

MUSIC OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOU

Here's a great list (non-affiliated) for mid-range and budget recordings that are recommended.

Click HERE to join Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, and learn more to increase your enjoyment year round.

The Met's radio opera schedule - - Saturdays at 12:30 p.m. CST.

Check in HERE for the upcoming televised operas from the Met.

Club Vivo members enjoyed Rigoletto this weekend. I was all set to listen to it at the perfect time - - I was driving 2 hours to meet my son, who was driving from Dallas, to give me my grand-daughter for the weekend. Unfortunately, radio contact went out after the first act. I can't believe Austin doesn't have a PBS station, but I searched the entire dial. I was so diappointed!!!

Enjoy your Christmas! It's your decision and choice as to how you spend it, and how you react to it.
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Single? Check out the Single for the Holidays Blog, and watch out for dating at this time. All accounts continue that the men are going buts and madly seeking on the Internet. If you're a guy, take it easy. Christmas will pass and, alone or not, you'll survive. If you're a woman, I'd pass on the passes at this time and wait till things cool down after the holidays.

As a famous actress once said, "It was so cold that winter I almost got married." None of us wants to get into something like that, with someone like that, yes?
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Overwhelmed?

FEELING A BIT INADEQUATE AND OVERWHELMED? FEELING STRESSED? Remember, it's all about CHOICE.

INTENTIONALITY is the EQ competency for the holidays. What do you intend? How do you intend to feel?

If you're on the treadmill right now, and feel like you want to stop the world and get off, take note. When Christmas is over, process.

Ask yourself - -
1. What worked and what didn't?
2. What did I do out of obligation, or to keep up with the Joneses that needs to be let go next year.
3. Did I feel the way I wanted to? If not, what will I do differently next year?
4. This article is already "too late" about the packages ... would it help to shop and mail earlier? Would it help to limit parties?
5. Did you really enjoy this or that, or were you just going through the paces?
6. Is there some traditional that's outworn it's welcome? If so, eliminate it. Kiss it goodbye, remembering it fondly, but let it go.
7. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or uncle or aunt, there are children around? What kind of example are you setting? If you yell at your kid because you're stress out over Christmas, ho ho ho?
8. How materialistic were your gifts? How much did you bust your budget? Change this next year.
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Today's guest writer is Kathy Paauw, and she writes about 7 Tips to Save Time & Reduce Holiday Stress

My dad used to say that the holidays are when you get a whole bunch of people that really aren't that close and don't know each other that well and overcrowd them into a small room for an extended period of time so they can make each other miserable." --Dr. Phil McGraw

As we approach the holiday season, that sense of "overwhelm" rings as loud as the Salvation Army bells.

For some, the holiday season represents stress, pressure, expectations, guilt, disappointment, pain, loneliness, exhaustion . and the list goes on.

And it doesn't have to be that way!

We choose who we spend time with. We choose what activities we say yes and no to. We choose where we go. Your holiday season can be as simple or as elaborate as you choose to make it, and it can be a lot of fun if you plan accordingly.

Take some time this week to think about what's most important to you this season, and then do a little planning. Here are some suggestions to help save time and
reduce stress.

1. Create a list of holiday rituals that are important to you.

Seek your family's input on holiday decisions. Ask family members what they liked and disliked about last year's holidays. Write down the most important elements and
activities you wish to include this year, and plan to make it happen.

Keeping time-consuming and irrelevant traditions or rituals "just because we've always done it that way" can increase stress. Keep only those traditions that have meaning to you, or create some new ones.

Give yourself permission to be in the moment and enjoy the smells, sounds, feel, and tastes that are unique to this season of the year.

2. Make a list of those you want to spend time with during the holidays.

Who nourishes you? Who are the family members, friends, and colleagues you enjoy being with? Who brings you down? Maybe this is not the year to get together with them!

Do you want to do any entertaining? If so, when and with whom? Plan ahead and ask for help if you want it. True friends and loved ones will not care how many hours you
slaved over the stove. Spending time with you is what they'll cherish most. You don't have to be Martha Stewart to throw a great party!

Are you invited to holiday parties that you really don't want to go to, but you've gone in the past because you should? Be at choice -- don't play the victim! This is not about whom you should see, but rather whom you choose to spend time with.

3. Send holiday greeting cards with ease.

I've found a great service that enables you to send a real card in the mail for less than a dollar, including postage, without leaving the comfort of your desk. SendOutCards was recently reviewed in the Wall Street Journal. I have been using their service for a couple months now and I can vouch for the quality of their greeting cards. With a simple click of your computer mouse, you can select from several hundred holiday cards to choose from, write a message (using your own handwriting font and signature) and send a printed greeting card. SendOutCards will print it, stuff it, stamp it (with a real stamp), and send it in the mail for you. Visit http://www.bethoughtfulnow.com for more information and to request a free gift account.

4. Mail packages with ease.

Mail packages early in December to avoid longer lines at the post office and ensure they will arrive in time. Or, better yet, sign up with Stamps.com or another online
postage service and avoid the lines altogether. You can mail large packages without standing in any lines -- as long as you have an accurate way to weigh them before you
purchase the postage online. Once you have added the correct postage (printed from your computer), you can drop the packages off at the loading dock of your local post
office and avoid those long lines.

5. Thoughtfully plan your gift-giving.

Give from the heart, not out of obligation. Decide whom you choose to give to and make a list. This will help you avoid overspending through impulse buying.

If you think back to the most cherished gifts you have received, they are often homemade or from the heart. A gift of time -- such as a gift certificate redeemable for an activity you can do together -- can be very meaningful. Among the most prized gifts I've ever received have been homemade cards with a heartfelt note written inside. Value goes far beyond the cost of the gift.

A great resource for homemade gift ideas is a book called The Perfect Mix. It contains creative edible gift ideas, including wrapping suggestions and tag instructions, along with a source guide for supplies. The book offers more than
90 recipes for soups, breads, muffins, cookies, and other gifts. The gifts I've created from this book have been very well received and appreciated.

Instead of exchanging gifts with friends, consider having a holiday or post-holiday party with them.

Avoid parking hassles, gridlock traffic around the malls, and long lines at the register by shopping online and through catalogs. A number of retail stores now offer
merchandise online, as well. If you are purchasing a gift that needs to be mailed, you can arrange to have it sent directly to the recipient, thus avoiding the extra steps of wrapping, labeling, and mailing the gift.

Wrapping gifts can take a lot of time. Instead of wrapping all of them, use a gift bag with a nice bow tied at the top, or use a decorated gift box.

Consider giving an alternative gift to a friend or loved one by giving to a charity in their name. One of my favorite charities is Heifer Project International. Through
living gifts of animals, HPI is helping families worldwide to become self-reliant. You can buy an animal that can change the life of a hungry family and at the same time honor family and friends. Visit HPI's "gift catalog" at http://catalog.heifer.org/index.cfm

6. Spread holiday cheer with those in need.

Volunteer to serve a holiday meal to the homeless, work in a soup kitchen, or work at a food bank.

Adopt a family for the holidays and provide them with gifts or holiday foods. Many churches and non-profit organizations can match you with a needy family.

Look for a Giving Tree in your local retail stores. The tree is filled with cards that list a specific gift desired by someone in need. You select a card off the tree,
purchase the suggested gift listed on the card, and return the gift to the tree with the card attached. The store wraps the gift and delivers it to the intended recipient.

The end of the tax year is a great time to review your budget and consider a year-end gift to your favorite charities. This can represent a significant tax deduction
if you itemize, while doing great things locally and globally.

7. Use your calendar to help organize your time to reflect your priorities.

Once you are clear about your intentions, calendar them in. Writing them down for follow-up on a specific date will help you to remember to do it and will keep things from falling to the last minute. In other words, make appointments with yourself to follow through with specific tasks by a specific time. As you prepare for the holidays, remember that the greatest gifts of all won't be found under the gift wrap. They'll be found in those special moments when you make a heart connection with those you care about.


About the Author: Wouldn't you love to stumble upon a secret library of ideas
to help you de-clutter your life so you can focus on what's most important? Kathy Paauw offers simple, yet powerful ideas, on how to manage your time, space, and thoughts for a more productive and fulfilling life. Visit her website at: http://www.orgcoach.net
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Thanks be to the Teachers of the World

THANKS BE TO THE TEACHERS OF THE WORLD (gk)

~ GO GET THE KNOWLEDGE ~ of the difference between good and evil, or whatever else captures your fancy. Check out REPLAY: Knowledge you've always craved, deliciously peeled, cored, seeded, diced, sliced and served up to you by the greatest teachers in the US. Gently used tapes and CDs you can finally afford from The Teaching Company.

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About today's story, Garrison Keillor's "American Gratitude"

My Schwimmfuehrer ultimately threw me out of the row boat to make it back to shore. Or not.

Yes, I cried. Yes, I was mad. Yes, I made it. Yes, I was proud of myself.

In this way, he taught me something more vital than just how to swim. He taught me how to know when I knew it well enough ... when to quit hanging on and take off ... when to quit asking head-questions and live the answers ... when to quit pretending I don't know how/am too young/too old/too dumb/too smart/too hurt/too confused/too little/too scared, and just do it. In other words, how to remove myself from the horns of my own dilemma.

GO TEACHERS! Some of the greatest are ready to teach you at THE REPLAY STORE.

There's a great anecdote in EQ-land, about that bastion of brainiacs, the University of Chicago. Not that there's anything wrong with brainiacs. For some unknown (but lovely) reason, it still remains a requirement for graduation from that venerable institution (which has produced some of the best economists we have) that one must pass a swimming test. Sing ho! for the classic education.

The "final," of course, takes place in Lake Michigan.

Simon showed up one fine day last year to take the final, jumped into the water on cue, and proceeded to flail, flounder and sink. Fast forward to when the ambulance crew had succeeded in resuscitating him, and the dean put forth the obvious question: "Young man, what made you think you knew how to swim?"

Simon's reply: "I'd read all the books about it."

Now our article . . .
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American gratitude
We bellyache, we kvetch, we get our undies in a bunch. But we still have so much to give thanks for.
By Garrison Keillor

Nov. 23, 2005 | Family, friends, good health (knock on wood), lots to be thankful for, including this $1.59 Rollerball pen and its flowing cursive line that makes me feel as elegant as Michel de Montaigne.

Gratitude makes sense for an American. We occupy a bountiful country of great civility (yes, really) and robustness and freedom, and if not the No. 1 Country in the World, nonetheless it has some great stuff, including Lake Superior, the Supreme Court, the Greatest Show on Earth, the Four Tops ("Baby, I Need Your Loving") and the World's Largest Ball of Twine Ever Rolled by One Man (12 feet in diameter) in Darwin, Minn. Cawker City, Kan., claims a bigger one, but it's more oblong and was done by committee.

Truly we should be thankful.

And we do try to be. But the English language is so rich in terms of complaint and insult and groaning and rather sparse in the Exaltation Dept., so the Lord doesn't get praised as He should. Instead, we bellyache, we kvetch, we get our undies in a bunch. After all, we're descended from people who considered rejoicing to be bad luck: It tempts fate. So they grumbled about the weather, politicians, children, popular music, new cars, anything modern, and complained about their health year after year until they died and went to heaven, where no doubt they are a little edgy even now -- nice place, paradise -- a little surprised at who else is here, harrumph, harrumph, but never mind -- plenty of bliss, no tears and so forth -- not sure how long it can last, but we shall see.

As for me, I am grateful for the functional. In our home, we are going through a series of malfunctioning coffeemakers that sputter and vomit quarts of hot brown sediment on the kitchen counter and floor, and that makes me grateful for things like this pen, which really is a pleasure.

Or Google, which can bring up 2.3 million references in .03 seconds, none of which sheds light on the subject, but they distract you so that instead of writing about "The Mill on the Floss" by George Eliot, you get interested in dental hygiene.

I'm glad for the E-ticket, which frees us from standing in line at the airline counter so that we can swiftly go stand in line at the security check.

And for the chat room, which frees everyone from inhibitions so that we can find out how much we'd rather not know about other people.

And let us all be thankful for the newspaper, a truly useful object. The press is the watchdog of a free society, and while TV reporters are styling their hair and practicing winsome facial expressions, newspaper reporters are on the phone, knocking on doors, doing the work, holding power accountable. And you read their work and absorb something from it, or not, and then you spread the newspaper out on the floor and it absorbs paint drips, or you pack it in a box around fragile objects, or you roll it up and swat cockroaches, or stuff it into cracks to keep the wind out, or stuff it under the kindling and light the fire -- one simple thing with six distinct uses. Or you can recycle it and it will transcend into cardboard. You can't do that with images on a screen.

These days I am grateful beyond words for a swimming teacher, Alyssa, who is a functional person of a very high order. Twice a week, she takes my sandy-haired, gap-tooth daughter in tow and puts her through her paces. Alyssa is young, blond, brimming with confidence, with broad shoulders and a car horn voice. She hollers, "Kickickickickickkick" and "GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO" and the little girl puts her head down and swims for all she's worth. A few months ago, she was timid in the water, like me, and now she is a fish, all thanks to her wonderful teacher, a taskmaster with a sense of humor, who is in the pool with her pupils, unlike the Schwimmfuehrer of my youth who strode alongside the pool and showered us with contempt and ridicule. Alyssa's gift is enormous to us. My daughter gets a taste of discipline and success and this makes me very happy. So much that is dismal and destructive in the world, but for me, the joy of a 7-year-old girl putting on her swim goggles almost makes up for it. Thanks be to God for the teachers of the world.

Happy Thanksgiving.

um, how could he forget the bottom of the bird cage??
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THE REPLAY STORE. Gently used tapes and CDs you can finally afford from The Teaching Company.

Christmas Affirmations with Emotional Intelligence

LET'S DO SOME CHRISTMAS AFFIRMATIONS!

"By repeating an affirmation over and over again, it becomes embedded in the subconscious mind, and eventually becomes your reality. That is why you need to be careful what you think and believe, because that is exactly what you will get!" -Tony Robbins

Make your affirmations positive (don't use negative words like "don't" or "no longer" or "no more".

Repeat them persistently.

Use "process" so you don't over-ride your subconscious with something you don't really believe [yet]

Present tense



EXAMPLES:

I am in the process of having a stress free Christmas.

I am giving everyone the perfect gift, effortlessly. I know just what to get them.

I am getting along beautifully with everyone around me and spreading Christmas cheer.

I am keeping with my budget and feeling great about it.

I am handling Christmas just fine this year.

I am using my EQ skills to make this the best Christmas yet.

Divorced and Dejected

Divorced and Dejected - 5 Powerful Reasons to be Proud of Yourself
Copyright 2005 Flaming Life Coaching INC.

A painful divorce usually leaves people at the end of their
tether.

This is understandable, considering the amount of energy
that goes into making concessions, holding it together and
completely miss-managing your emotions.

Every life changes, wanted or unwanted ultimately play a
"roller coaster" on our emotions.

For the majority of people, ending a marriage is a huge
step. Thus most people would rather remain in an unhappy
marriage than leave.

If however, you find the courage to let go of an unhappy
marriage or are forced into doing so, the following reasons
can help remount your morale quickly.

1. You can have compassion for yourself. I'm convinced that
when you got married, your intention wasn't to divorce at
anytime.

Your primary reason for getting married was to share your
life happily with your chosen partner. Even it didn't turn
out that way.

None of us has all the answers or control over our lives,
least of all, over the lives of others.

We can only learn to accept what we cannot change. When you
made your vows, you alone knew what it meant to you at the
time.

2. You can stop feeling like a failure, because you're
not! Life is about learning and growing.

Don't get intimidated by statistics quota and let go of the
image of fitting into a model.

You possess all the capabilities to create a great life for
yourself even after a divorce! And don't you believe
otherwise.

Failure only occurs if you give up on yourself. If you're
still hurting, give yourself time to heal. Learn to forgive
yourself and move on when you feel ready.

3. You can start celebrating your success as a free and
wholesome individual.

As beautiful and fulfilling a great marriage can be, you
don't require someone else to make you complete.

I once pointed out to a client that his wife leaving him
could be exactly what he needed. This could get him to
start thinking about his own needs and taking charge of his
own life.

Sometimes people get sucked into their marriage and
completely lose sight of their own identity. I am not
saying that you shouldn't commit to your marriage.

Think about this for a moment: you had an identity before
you got married and you still had that identity after
marriage, so why give it up?

You owe it to yourself and deserve to evolve to your best
possibility in your own time.

Sadly enough, most couples seem to forget this. Especially
those who marry very young.

4. You can give yourself some credit for facing up to the
truth and ending what was no longer fulfilling to you or
your partner.

It requires true honesty and courage to "pull out the
plug," face your chagrin and be consequent.

There are a number of people living in unfulfilling
marriages, as a result of fear of being alone.

Evidences also show that some people remain in their
marriage for circumstantial reasons or based on mutual
arrangements.

Pat yourself on the back and feel proud of being strong
enough to stand on your own. You now have a great time
ahead of you. A time to get re-acquainted with YOU and your
needs.

5. You can be determined to see this new phase as a time of
"becoming".

Envisage your future as an opportunity to examine other
exciting areas of life.

Have a sense of purpose and focus on making the best use of
this period.

How many times have you taken a decision in the past quite
uncertain about its outcome? Only to realize later on that
it was one of your best decisions ever. This could be one
of those times.

Who knows, you might even discover new values deeply hidden
within you.

As you can see, viewing your divorce from the right right
perspective is essential for your inner healing. This can
help you let go of guilt and self persecution. The sooner
you can begin to perceive yourself as someone of worth, the
quicker you can relinquish the past. Thereby you can focus
fully in the present to create a more fulfilling life.


About the Author:

Kunbi Korostensky, N.D., Psychotherapist and Certified Life
Coach is specialised in supporting people in transition,
turn the changes in their lives into invigorating joy and
happiness. View her ebooklet Top 10 holistic Questions to
Embrace Change and Grow at:
http://www.embracingchanges.com/Books-and-Tools-to-facilitat
e-Changes.html or: mailto: kunbi@embracingchanges.com
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A Christmas Gift for You

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - - REACHING AROUND THE WORLD

Check out our SPECIAL CHRISTMAS OFFERINGS HERE or copy this and paste it into your browser: http://www.susandunn.cc/christmas.htm.
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IT'S CHRISTMAS. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR YOURSELF LATELY?

"How Not To Be Disappointed This Christmas - A Practical Tip"
by Guest Author Silvia Hartmann

Many years ago, when I was living in circumstances not quite like today, I invented something in the spur of the moment which is fascinating and has significantly improved my life.

It actually started four months earlier, for my birthday in fact.

I had wanted to buy something very esoteric for me - a personal development tape set about wealth and success; but it was massively expensive and although my husband didn't exactly beat me with sticks on a daily basis, there would have been NO WAY I
would have been "given permission" to buy this with the meagre family funds.

This sort of thing was held to be "stupid" and "pointless" and "a waste of money", and there wasn't anyone at all in my life at that time who would care enough or even try to understand me enough to actually go out and buy it for me.

Please. Start the violins! And then bring in the cello section, for good measure!

Ok, so I was feeble back then, had no self esteem, didn't know what I was doing because I hadn't received my personal development tapes yet :-) but I came up with the idea to sneak the money and then in order to have an excuse for having the tapes around the house, to say that a girlfriend had given it to me as a present.

I went into action. I sold some things, skimmed some of the money off the shopping budget, ordered the set (without using the family checkbook but with postal orders instead!); sat on the doorstep for a week so I could intercept the postman; when it arrived, I hid it carefully and then got gift wrap, wrapped it, put a card to it and signed it with a greeting from the imaginary friend.

Then I put it on the hall table because now, it could be seen and stand up to questioning.

When my birthday came, I hadn't been so excited about it in YEARS.

I raced down the stairs like a kid to get "my present", and even burst out into tears when I opened it (which was explained with an onslaught of PMT) and hugged it.

It was the best present I'd had in YEARS.

Then, Christmas turned up and even though I felt guilty as hell, I did it again with something I similarly desired.

I've been doing this ever since.

Now you may say that's not in the spirit of things, but 25 years later and with the hindsight of a professional career in counselling and psychology behind me that began with that gift I gave myself, I would say that what I did there was to CHANGE
MY LIFE.

There was no-one there to give me what I wanted, and finally, I stopped waiting for that mysterious knight in shining armour, or the glowing angel manifesting on my doorstep, or the mysterious rich uncle who I never knew about, or my husband to undergo some instant personality transformation so he would finally "get me", and instead, I took my life into my own hands.

*I* gave *me* what I need and wanted.

And the result was that I *actually GOT WHAT I NEEDED*.

That's an amazing lesson, in many ways and on many different levels.

Women are STILL deeply entrained to be the providers and to take nothing for themselves; the "culture of everything for others and nothing for you" is even more global than that and extends to EVERYONE.

There are many things about the bold move of DELIBERATELY choosing and wrapping a present complete with a card TO YOUR SELF which are remarkable.

ALL the religions say that you should give service - there is no logical reason to EXCLUDE one single person from the service, of all the many people on this planet.

8 billion minus - one?

And that one is ... YOU?

That makes no sense, but that's the way we have come to understand it.

In psychology terms, to exclude the self from the service and devotion extended to others is actually pathological and a sign there's something wrong with you!

One could argue, and I would indeed argue this, that if you give gifts to other people but NOT TO YOURSELF, you are sending the wrong message, big time.

And practically speaking, this shouldn't be anything special. It should NOT be like the first time I did that - full of guilt or shame or so significant or evolutionary as a concept.

You should just simply be on your own shopping list at Christmas, just the same as everyone else you are buying presents for!

Everyone should buy themselves a gift at Christmas! And on their birthdays, and on whatever holiday or celebration their culture prescribes. They should take the opportunity to express thus practically their support and gratitude for all that was
done, for WHO THEY ARE, with a small gift and a card which carries the words so they may be read, and understood.

That is in essence, a blessing.

To perform this ceremony on behalf of one's self is not only fair, and more than that, it is a HUGE metaphor of integration and integrity.

It is a fantastic opportunity to sit back and assess, very practically, where you're at, what might make you happy, and to enter in a communication with the "forgotten self" that brings this one back into the fold of the 8 billion.

This is not a selfish act at all, but instead, a golden opportunity to ensure that on many levels, this one person gets what they want; that this one person is as happy as circumstances will allow; and you know, beyond all material goods, it really is the thought that counts.


About The Author: Dr Silvia Hartmann is the author of "Oceans Of Energy" and "Project Sanctuary". You can get a free, beautifully illustrated ebook, The Enchanted World, free meditation downloads, a great free wealth course, stories,
fairy tales and articles at http://SilviaHartmann.com
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CHRISTMAS IS MUSIC FOR THOSE OF US WHO VIVO PER LEI / LIVE FOR MUSIC. Join Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music.

Holiday Stress

TIME TO CHILL!

Today's guest article: HOLIDAY STRESS - IS IT THE TIME OF YEAR, OR IS IT THE TIME OF MAN? by guest writer: Bill Douglas

Life seems to compress as the holiday's get closer, and this shows us in no uncertain terms how "intense" our lives have become. Holidays put normal life into hyper-speed, but really our lives in general are now in hyper-speed anyway, which can make the holiday's seem almost unmanageable. However, there is hope, if we can understand the problem.

Research indicating that change is stressful, even good change, explains why the holidays are so stressful, as we are taken out of normal routines and challenged to "perform" in new and abnormal ways during holidays. Furthermore, modern life in general is changing at a mind-numbing pace. So, how do we adapt to change more
healthfully? T'ai Chi / Qigong (Chi Kung) tips for loosening your grip on the holidays, and on life in general, include "remembering to breathe."

So, right now, place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth, and then think of relaxing your torso open from the bottom abdominal area to allow the lower lungs to fill with air, observing as hey fill up through the top as the upper chest inflates. Good. Now, on the sighing exhale observe your body "relaxing" the breath out from the top of your lungs all the way down to the bottom as your abdominal muscles relax back in . . . fully expending the air from the bottom of the lungs. Repeat this allowing the lungs to fill from the bottom all the way up to the top, and then relaxing the air out of the body from the top of the chest down to the upper pelvic muscles.

Although at first it seem as though the torso muscles work to expand the torso open for air, and then forcing the air out, little by little as you relax open to the breath, every atom of your being relaxes open to be breathed effortlessly. Every muscle in your head, face, shoulders, and torso . . . begins to let go, as though the breath were breathing you, and all you need to do is let go a little more with each sighing exhale.

The tip of the tongue placed on the roof of the mouth allows the breath in more gradually, rather than in one big open throated gush. Studies show this slow, gradual, inhale and exhale oxygenates the body much more effectively. As you breathe in the full breaths with the tip of the tongue on the roof of the mouth, your entire being relaxes open to the lightness of air, even the bones, organs, brain and heart. Then as you exhale every atom of your being can "let go" of everything it holds onto to release the loads and burdens of the mind, heart, and body to be exhaled into a healing lightness. You actually expand open with this lightness as an airy feeling of "effortlessness" permeates every tissue and field within and around your body.

This openness feels almost like the wind can blow right through you. Close your eyes so that you can feel internally the deep letting go as the bones themselves begin to release their grip on issues and tensions they may have unconsciously gripped. You will always find the more you let go, the more you can let go. As you approach the holidays or life beyond the holidays, allow your mind to release its expectations and obsessions as they come up.

Let the world to flow to you and through you, rather than "reaching out" for outcome, and "holding on" to expectations. Often better opportunities are coming at us if we can let go of our grip on the past or illusions of the future.

By being "open" we may dream a much greater reality as it occurs, for the holidays and for our lives. By using holiday stress as a catalyst to breathe life and healing light into our clenching bodies, we can carry the promise of the holidays into our greater lives, breathing open to the goodness that waits to fill every aspect of our year and our lives.

You can experience a "Daily Dose of Bliss" by visiting www.worldtaichiday.org and clicking on "Free Online Lessons" then "Sitting Qigong."

About the Author: Bill Douglas is the Tai Chi Expert at DrWeil.com, Founder of World T'ai Chi & Qigong Day (held in 50 nations each year), and has authored and co-authored several books including a #1 best selling Tai Chi book "The Complete
Idiot's Guide to T'ai Chi & Qigong." Bill's been a Tai Chi source for The Wall Street Journal, New York Times, etc.

You can learn more about Tai Chi & Qigong, and also contact Bill Douglas at http://www.worldtaichiday.org

The Loving Touch

BEST WISHES TO YOU AND YOURS FROM SUSAN DUNN AND STAFF.
We've got some great programs starting in mid-January for your New Year so stay tuned, or visit us on the 'net at www.susandunn.cc .

REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE. YOU'LL BOTH BENEFIT. We never outgrow out need for the human touch.
============
CAN YOU HELP? Stop right now, in the midst of Christmas, and think of 3 things you don't want to repeat next Christmas. I'm sure you won't have any trouble! I'm talking about things I've heard this week, such as:

1. Allowing my daughter-in-law to plan Christmas without my help.
2. Letting who gives me gifts dictate to whom I give gifts, i.e., not running out to get something for someone just because they gave me something.
3. Going to every party I'm invited to.
4. Not calling the kennel in time for the dogs.
5. Not setting a budget and staying within it.
6. Not taking a day off before Christmas to prepare.
7. Next year I will have those Arbonne neutraceuticals before and won't get sick.
8. Plan for something for the week after Xmas. It's so depressing.

I'm compiling an ebook for next year to help make Christmas go more smoothly. So, please, stop right now and send me an anecdote and the antidote. Something like this I received in the mailbag:

Every year the same thing. I mess around and don't make a decision about where we'll be for Christmas. So me and my husband and kids we end up not knowing and then going somewhere we want to go. Next year I'll tell my mom, "We're coming to your house for Christmas," or I'll pick up the phone day after Thaksgiving and invite who I want to to come to our house for Xmas. I'll take control of my Xmas right away.

Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc
==========
I went to the medical clinic today with a little friend of mine. Yes, kids are always sick at Christmas, and then we all get together and it's a new germ pool. We're in the middle of the cold and flu season, and you need to bolter your immune system. For instance, at that clinic, I thought for sure I hadn't gone there sick, but I'd come home with something. The chairs were crammed together and everyone was coughing and blowing their nose. There were at least 10 boxes of kleenex in there.
DEFENSE BUILDER is a great neutraceutical. So is GET WELL SOON DIETARY SUPPLEMENT. All ARBONNE PRODUCTS contribute to your wellness by not adding a source of toxins to your life. What you put on your skin is absorbed into your bloodstream. We recommend the cosmetics, lotions and baby products all made with pure, natural ingredients. Also products for hair loss, weight loss (no ephedra), shaving cream, and YOUR GOOD HEALTH FOR THE NEW YEAR.

Now you can shop safe with me online at My Arbonne.

And why not become a consultant this year? You'll have a lot more money for Christmas next year if you start right away. Everyone's New Year's resolutions are going to include wellness!

What's PEACEful about the Office Holiday Party?

Peace and joy?or resentment?

Are these words you would ever discuss in the workplace? Do they belong in the workplace?

Well, as an emotional intelligence coach, that 's not even a question to ask, because we don't leave our emotions at home when we go to work. In fact they may be even more apt to appear at work than when socializing or at home.

However there are those who are still behind the times.

The FastCompany article begins ...

"Twenty midlevel executives at American Express Financial Advisors are gathered in a room at a conference center outside Minneapolis. Each has been asked to try to convey a specific emotion -- by reading a particular statement aloud. The challenge for listeners is to figure out which emotion each speaker is trying to evoke. It seems like a relatively straightforward exercise but only a fraction of the group comes anywhere close to correctly identifying speakers' emotions."

Best question they ask in the article, written five years ago, is will emotional intelligence "last" or will it be a "fad"?

Obviously it's not a fad because it's not only still here, it's growing expponentially, and around the world. I'm getting as much business these days from India, Singapre and Malaysia as I do from the US, and from Europe.

However, emotional intelligence is not, never has been, never will be, "fad" material.

Emotional intelligence is a legitimate field of study, like psychology or medicine. It takes time to master the theory, plus it's a field where the information is continually growing, with new technology such as the fMRI and so forth.

Since that article was written several years ago, you know it's also not a fad. For many, it 's the answer "psychology" never came up with. As someone said, "What if the field of psychology had studied for 60 years how to fix it not why it got that way.

What troubles us more than our emotions? What causes us more grief than our emotions ... how they feel, what we do because of them, how we harm ourselves and/or others, self-sabotage ourselves, destroy relationship and jobs ... need I say more?

Read the rest of the article here.

The Holiday Energy is Getting Chaotic

THE HOLIDAY ENERGY IS GETTING CHAOTIC.

Practice your EQ skills - - breathe deeply, eat right, get rest, take a time out.
Remember, you can TURN IT OFF.

Turn off the carols and specials, don't go to the mall, put a lock on your checkbook and stash your credit cards somewhere (give them to your mother-in-law!!), take a break if and when you need to, and check my BLOGS for daily tidbits. This one, EQ 4 U, and Single for the Holidays.

IF YOU'RE AN INTROVERT OR HAVE INTROVERTED KIDS (partner etc.) check out Nancy Fenn's blog for introverts. It features an article today on how to handle Christmas for the introverted child.

Introverts have a hard time with "the holidays" and these are great tips from the nation's leading expert on introversion, Nancy Fenn. Introverts make up about 30% of the population.

BOLSTER YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM NOW.
Emotions assault your immune system, and this isn't the time. You don't need to get sick on top of it all, and it's highly likely. Your immune system is your first and only line of defense against flus including the bird flu.
Ask a doctor. There are no cures for viruses.
Build up your immune system now with Arbonne's *Get Well Soon* and *Defense Builder Antioxidant*.
Shop conveniently online with me for natural, conscious, life affirming skincare, neutraceuticals, weight loss and other products.

AFFAIRS INCREASE AROUND THE HOLIDAYS, TOO, UNFORTUNATELY. If you need some information, go to TheCloser.

Lewis, Amini and Lannon wrote in their marvelous book A General Theory of Love, “The cleavage between reason and passion is an ancient theme but no anachronism; it has endured because it speaks to the deep human experience of a divided mind.” (This is revealed in the mythical creatures centaurs.)

EQ QUIZ. Email me your answers (cut and paste) - sdunn@susandunn.cc

Check the ones which indicate a ‘cleavage between reason and passion’, i.e., passion (or emotion) makes you want to do one thing, but then reason (thinking) steps in, and you do something else; OR you think you ought to do something (reason), but your feelings (passion) get the better of you.

___ Mary was furious at her boss and wanted to quit but she needed her paycheck

___ Ann wanted to take 2 hours at lunch to go to a sale but she knew if she did she’d get fired

___ Anthony wanted to date the receptionist but he knew that was against company policy

___ Selina was so mad at her manager, she picked up her liquid paper and threw it across the office

___ Ted was hungover so he slept in Monday morning because he just couldn’t get up

___ Tony didn’t feel like going to work Friday afternoon so he didn’t

___ Samantha didn’t feel like going to work Friday but then she felt guilty at home so she went in late

___ Christine was so mad she wanted to hit her manager but she thought better of it

___Tom was angry at the project leader so he thought about not getting his work in on time but then he realized he’d only hurt himself

_____ Bob wanted to do the report the night before, but he got drunk instead

____ Susan thought it would be a good idea to stay late and work on the proposal, but when her boyfriend called and asked her out, she couldn’t resist

_____ Mary didn’t care about her job, so even though she said she’d stay late, she didn’t

_____ Sue Ann didn’t like her manager, so she came in late every day and wasted a lot of time

Emotional Intelligence

Today we have some interesting thoughts from Jac Rae author of “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time”, a great book for guys to read (and women too!)

Included here because of the comments about left and right brain, etc.

COMMENTS:
Richard Leiby-The Washington Post: "’Winning Points with the Women in your Life…,’ is sure to drive football loving men right into their end zones!"

Athletic Business: "’Winning Points’ helps improve relationship skills – by using football plays, scrimmage strategies and tactical maneuvers as analogies…"

GETTING YOUR MAN ONTO THE PLAYING FIELD OF LOVE
Guest Article by Jaci Rae

So you've made it into the stadium and you are now stepping onto the playing field for your first day of practice with the Dallas Cowboys. Nervous excitement courses through your veins as the coach talks about the various formations he is going to run the team through and begins to discuss the different play calls and strategies he will be using during this season's games.

While much of what the coach talks about initially lies within the realm of football common sense and comes easily to you, there are a few nuances in the game plan that you will be unfamiliar with. Also, some of the plays are new to you and could cause complications and confusion in the season ahead if you don't understand them.

A team's language will guide you in how to interact and communicate with your teammates on the playing field. This language that each player must learn is full of individual components, called the "plays." For each "play," there is a "plan." Each of these "plays" and "plans" has been specially formulated through years of research and scientific study, producing entire systems of proven techniques that can make winners out of the players and teams.

Once the methods were proven effective, they were gathered together and worked into a playbook for each team to base its "plays" and "plans" on. It is that playbook that each teammate must learn in order to be part of the winning team. This process is much the same as that of the "plays" and "plans" of a relationship. You need to read the manual, learn from those who are already where you want to be in their relationships and listen actively to your partner in order to learn how to speak their language. Once you learn this language, you can enter the game confidently and achieve victory!

A woman's perception of her relationship, as well as the language she uses within a relationship may seem very complicated, and sometimes confusing. You may find particular things in her language syntax that are hard to understand and certainly difficult to interpret! And as if that weren't enough, many women have a tendency to turn over and over in their heads most of what is said to them, finding more than what may actually be there.

While men tend to go with the flow without over-analyzing things, women try to find out what's behind the words they see and hear when dealing with their loved ones. This process is intuitively part of their naturally protective circuitry, helping them emotionally guard themselves and their loved ones. Have you ever heard the statement, "You don't want to mess with Mother Bear?" This applies here because women are built as nurturers and maintain a natural curiosity about their environment, in order to help them protect themselves and those they love from perceived dangers.

This natural curiosity triggers what I like to call the "need to know" gene. Women have the "need to know" or to discover all the "information" about their surroundings and then make judgment calls as to any dangers that may affect those they love. This of course, can lead to any number of natural responses to the perceived dangers of their surroundings and an inherent desire to analyze all causes and effects. Because curiosity (analyzing) is a natural response for women, it tends to bleed over into other areas of their lives, namely their relationships.

In addition to analyzing most of what is said to them, women may often have hidden meaning in what they say, even if they don't intend to put it there. Men are not as complicated (in a good way) with their spoken language. What men say is most often what they mean. So, why is it that so many women seem to include hidden messages behind their words? In the same way that women tend to over-analyze things, sometimes they also include hidden meaning in their spoken words. The reasons for this can be partially found by looking at the traditional upbringing and social history of women.

Parents and other adults teach women, at a very early age, that they need to be strong, confident and know what they want. They are also told that they need to be assertive and independent in order to succeed at fulfilling their dreams and desires for their future.

In reality, though, oftentimes the media image of a woman is much different. Society in general, sees images of successful women on television and in the movies that are more demure and non-aggressive, but still get what they need and desire.

The woman on television or in the media, who ends up with the man of her dreams, may have played it "coy," playing off on her seeming "need" for the man. The media image presented is often in direct conflict with the way that a woman may have been raised. Because of these two conflicting images, women have now received mixed messages and are subjected to confusing images about the way they should behave in society. On top of this, women see the men around them as being intrigued and often fascinated by the media image of a woman, an image that may not always interconnect with the ideals and values that they, as women, were brought up with.

Because of this, women may be unsure how to present themselves and may seek to bring forward aspects of both images at the same time. As a result, they may confuse the two images, hiding their true feelings and thoughts deep within their words, all the while struggling to achieve the final goal of communicating their needs or "message" to those that participate in their lives.

Our environment has a great deal to do with how we relate and react to each other as well as how we communicate with other people. Another huge factor in our character make-up is the individual chemistry that everyone is born with. While much has been said about how different the sexes are, how much do we actually know? The facts show that men and women are conceived equally in terms of their overall intelligence.

However, somewhere between the twelfth and fourteenth weeks of pregnancy, there is a testosterone wash that flows over the brain of a male baby. i This wash does not take place during the formation of a female baby. Let's take a look at how the brain works and try to understand why this is so important.

Testosterone is one of the main chemicals that enable the brain to manufacture and create serotonin, which is an important neurotransmitter in the brain, causing certain nerve cells in the brain to activate and become livelier. Serotonin can also act as an inhibitor. Most neurotransmitters can act as both an exciter and an inhibitor. Serotonin affects the brain's interior, known as the ganglia.

The ganglia are the network of the brain, which is divided into two cells, the L cell and the R cell. Scientists believe that one of these cells makes serotonin and the other produces dopamine.

Dopamine is "a monoamine neurotransmitter formed in the brain and is essential to the normal functioning of the central nervous system. ii" Dopamine acts as an inhibitor in the ganglia, thereby causing a calming effect and dampening activity.

It is believed that during the testosterone wash, a balance between the L cells and the R cells are set, determining the amount of serotonin and dopamine that the brain's network will use. This also determines how spatially or temporally aware a person is, with men being born more spatially aware and women more temporally aware. A person who is spatially aware is generally a “left-brain” individual and someone who is temporally aware, is generally a “right-brain” individual.

The word "spatial" is defined as "relating to space." As men are generally more spatially aware, they tend to be better at judging distances, which comes in handy during parallel parking! The word "temporal," meanwhile, is defined as being "of or limited by time.” This may explain why women seem to be able to associate time and events without much difficulty.

You know what I am talking about here men, that little thing that really bothers men about women -- she remembers everything she thinks you have done wrong and when you did it! I believe this is due in part because of a woman's propensity for temporal awareness.

Because of the testosterone wash, men tend to be more "left- brain" oriented and women rely more readily on the "right-brain." "Left-brain" individuals tend to be more interested in facts, inclined to logic and reason. They are more motivated in providing for the home and usually more interested in becoming engineers, mathematicians and scientist. These are just a few career choices that a "left-brain" individual might make.

A "right-brain" individual tends to be better at, and more interested in, developing relationships and dealing with emotional issues. They are more inclined to emotions and passions and are generally more motivated by investing in the relationships of the home. Their career choices tend to put them in the roles of caregivers or into jobs where they can use their artistic, investigative and research abilities.

This is in contrast to the general tendencies of "left-brained" individual. Again, a clearer picture begins to be revealed when we look at the differences between the sexes in this light. Most men might find a leisurely reading of Popular Mechanics or Programmer's Security Desk Reference fundamentally more interesting than reading Ladies’ Home Journal or Parent Child Magazine, while women are just the opposite.

This is simply a matter of one's interest and NOT an intellectual issue, as both men and women can be motivated for various reasons to read on all the subjects mentioned. Remember that both sexes are born equally in terms of intelligence.

My uncle gave me a funny example the other day of how men see women's thought patterns when it comes to making decisions. I thought that this insight was a great example of men conquering and women looking for sequence and order before they tackle the matter at hand.

Here's what he had to say: "Men rule by action. Women rule by committee. For example: Man sees hill, climbs hill. Woman sees hill, forms discussion group, sets up hill climbing committee, votes for hill climbing team, schedules climb date, checks rain fall charts, does studies to locate best path, sends out scouts, and much, much, much, much later... finally climbs the hill."

The facts stated thus far pertain only to our pre-disposition at birth. The things we experience each day, the lessons that we are taught as we move through our daily lives and the personal choices we make along the way will also be determining factors in how "left-brain" or "right-brain" we become. These factors will also directly affect our communication with and relationship to others.

The good news is that since each of us has the freedom to make personal choices, we can learn to hear and understand each other's language when we step onto the playing field to begin practice! "Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands." Psalms 119:73

Once you step up and onto the playing field, however, you will need to hear exactly what the coach has to say during practice if you want to make it to your first game. Copyright © 2005 Jaci Rae and North Shore Records, Inc. For more information about Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life One Touchdown at a Time, go to: www.winningpoints.net or simonsays.com. Winning Points is available at stores around the world as well as online

Jaci Rae is the #1 Best Selling author of “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time” and “The Indie Guide To Music Success” ISBN 978-0-9746229-4-1 as well as the host of the Jaci Rae show. Dubbed by the media as "Racy Jaci" because of her quick wit and "The Rae of Hope," for her powerful insight, please make sure to check her out at: http://www.jacirae.com to listen to Jaci’s popular show, where she has some of the top behind the scenes guests teaching about the music industry on, go to: www.jacirae.com and click on the weekly show link.

photos from www.clipart.com, royalty free

Jean Schmidt Calls John Murtha a Coward?

“Jean Schmidt Calls John Murtha a Coward?”
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

Being an emotional intelligence coach, and having recently published an article on being new to the job (from the emotional intelligence standpoint), several people have asked me to comment on the above-referenced incident. One of the points I had made in the article was the wisdom of laying low when you’re the New Kid on the Block, and not expressing strong opinions until you’ve got the lay of the land.

Having not seen the videos, I went to the source to find out what words were actually said. It’s emotionally intelligence to side-step “hearsay.” We have innumerable research studies proving that people don’t see what happens (the gorilla in our midst experimenta) or hear what is said, and”invent” or “embellish” especially when their emotions are being worked over.

According to the transcript, here is what Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Oh) said: “He (Bubp) also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message, that cowards cut and run, Marines never do…”

It is a giant leap from this to “Jean Schmidt calls John Murtha a coward.” I prefer the Cincinnati Enquirer's title, "Schmidt Causes Ruckus." Incidentally, Bobp, denies having had the conversation with her, which was enough for me to pronounce it “politics,” lose interest, wash my hands of the whole affair. The issues, of course, are very important, and I encourage the emotionally intelligence citizen to research them, make an informed decision, and exercise your right to be heard by your congresspeople.

That having been said, there are other interesting emotional intelligence points here, emotional intelligence being the interface between thinking and feelings that allows for said informed opinions and wise actions.

What Schmidt did was imply (some felt) that Murtha was a coward. I say “some felt” because implications rely on thoughts and feelings the listener supplies, fueled by emotion. This is something politicians rely on, the press, your boss, your spouse, and assorted others who may wish to steamroll you into something Emotions can over-ride thinking, as every teenager knows who’s badgering his or her parent,, and a person not thinking is a person at the mercy of the other.

Murtha was not there when it happened, and had to go on hearsay as well. How would you react if it had been you? Would you take the bait?

Someone with high EQ wouldn’t, someone who’s been around the block a few times, like Murtha. He did not “over-react.” When asked how he felt about it (by Russert), here is what he replied: “…I try not to put this in a personal basis, and I would hope the people would take this suggestion as a responsible recommendation, and then read the resolution that I put forward, redeploy the troops on the periphery as quickly as within the safety of the troops. You know, this is a new member, and
sometimes they give her something to say that –they get out of hand. I try not to take this stuff personal.”

He’s evasive, using political-speak, i.e., what on earth does “within the safety of the troops” mean?? “IN a personal basis”?? Sometimes “they” give her something to say … who are “they?” Nor, for instance, in those quoted passages, does he name names.” He implies he doesn’t take offense, and then sends us back to read what he actually proposed. The message: read what he said, read what she said. Emotional intelligence is about reality-testing.

He further does not "sink to her level," and reply in kind. Why would he snatch defeat from the jaws of victory?

The EQ points here?

If you care about what really happened, go to the source and read it. Then analyze it rationally and make your own decision. Don’t rely on hearsay.

Incendiary headlines sell. Consider this bias in what you read. That's reality-testing, an emotional intelligence competency. EQ is about common sense – take it with a grain of salt, consider the source, the nature of the beast, etc.

Was she set up to do it? Entirely possible. The reactions may have been staged as well, opportunistic, though impromptu.

The apology? From my experience, those who apologize for a specific, avoiding the global, get re-elected We shall see.

In politics, of course, you generally take the bait. Most of the time in real life, it isn’t advised. There’s an excellent book I recommend by a real pro, “The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense,” by Suzette Haden Elgin. She takes you point-by-point through the overt and covert attacks, passive-aggressive maneuvers, and innuendoes from nasty folks we have to deal with all the time, giving responses you can make that will keep you out of trouble. Because, you see, once you “take the bait,” the reason it’s called “bait” is because you are hooked into a position where you can only harm yourself.

Let’s say your new boss comes up to you, a senior worker, and says, “I just talked to Joe Blow in accounting and he said people over 50 can’t remember anything." The assumption, implied, is that you, a senior worker, do not remember anything.

Gonna take the bait?

Not you! You’ve got EQ.

If you say, “Well that doesn’t apply to ME, I remember everything,” you are on very, very thin ground, because no one (including Joe Blow, the young man in accounting) does not remember EVERYTHING. Further, you have condemned yourself, whereas technically neither Joe Blow nor the manager had. Not smart! Low EQ!

Likewise you’re dead-meat if you take the sucker-punch and reply, “Oh, like young people do,” or losing your temper and counter-attacking, replying, "Joe Blow's an idiot," and embellishing it with mention of some group to which he happens to belong.

A possible response? “What an interesting theory. I wonder where he read that.” You thereby imply (fair is fair … remember, your attacker has laid the ground rules here) he read it, that it doesn’t apply to you, etc. Tit for tat. Then get back to your work! A deeper gouge would be “That’s an interesting theory, but in the latest Business Psychology Review, Dr. Edward T. W. Prinpollett refutes this theory on the grounds of the XYZ Principle.” Make it up. Who’s going to take that on, which is again, playing the game by the rules established.

When you give someone the power to “make” you angry, you lose on three fronts. (1) You give up your personal power, an emotional intelligence competency. (2) The physiological reaction of anger prevents you from thinking clearly when you need it most. (3) and your health … a minute of anger suppresses your immune system for up to an hour. Is it worth your health? Generally not. Righteous indignation included.

As Epictetus said many years ago: “Any person capable of angering you becomes your
master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him."

It should also be added that this is an explanation of why the civil, jury trial often brings in a different verdict than the criminal trial.

One reason we study EQ is so we don’t fall prey to all the people who use emotions to manipulate us.
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Save this Cookie!

DO WE HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU!!

Make a cookie of this website -- bookmark it, because we have lots of ideas for handling the emotional turmoil of the holidays, which has hit in full force, judging from today's mailbag!

Cooking can be very relaxing and fun to share with family and friends. It takes the focus off shopping, spending money, and rushing around. And the smell from the oven is wonderful. Is there anything more soothing?

This photo is a cookie my son and I entered in a Christmas cookie decorating contest. It was sponsored by a lovely and small antique shopping mall, and culminated with a nice buffet with Christmas music, cookie sampling, companionship and good cheer. We were thrilled to win FIRST PRIZE! It was a great bonding experience all around, and not very materialistic either, something I try to de-emphasize over the season, how about you?

The holidays are all about sharing, so let me share the recipe with you. It could equally well be cut into the star and decorated in blue and white for Hannukah, or shaped (smile) to fit your own winter celebration and focus. Enjoy my recipe and pass it on!

SUSAN'S SUGAR COOKIE RECIPE

1 cup margarine
1 cup sugar]2 eggs
1 t. vanilla
2 2/3 cups sifted flour
3/4 t. salt
1/2 t. baking powder
1/2 t. baking soda

Cream sugar and margarine. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Blend in dry inredients. Chill dough for 3 hrs Roll out and cut cookies. Bake on ungreased sheets at 375 for 6-8 minutes. Then decorate! (Buy a set of tubes are Hobby Lobby, Crafts, etc.)

Got kids in your life? Let them join in.

P.S. Be sure and buy PASTE food coloring. Liquid coloring will make the frosting too runny. And don't stress, just buy a tin of frosting. Works just fine. We don't like to add extra stress over the holidays.

Join Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, and get some great music going while you bake. Go HERE. Invite your friends to join as well. It's FREE, of course, my gift to you and yours!

Time to Have a Good Laugh

HUMOR IS VERY HARD TO CARRY OFF. You know this if you've ever heard a comedian bomb. But it's magic when it works. Here's a good article about humor in marketing.

Laughter, by the way greases the brain for problem-solving. You'll often hear the people in the marketing dept. laughing. Understand it's what makes it all work. Laughter allows us to relax, release toxic chemicals, generate alternative, be flexible, resilient, and think much, much better.

Now here's a trick -- put a pencil crosswise in your mouth so your mouth is forced into the musculature of a smile and observe what happens in your body.

JUST DO IT!
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Always Leave Them Laughing: Integrating Humor into Your Trade Show Marketing Campaign
By Susan Friedmann

One of the major objectives of any trade show exhibit is to create a lasting impression in the attendee's mind. After all, if a visitor can't remember you, how can he give you his business? You also want to create a positive impression, and unfortunately, that's harder to do than the negative equivalent.

Which brings us to humor. People love to laugh - and they like other people to laugh with them. Witness the almost constant flood of jokes and cartoons that flit across the internet: Proof that humor cannot be stopped. You'll often find that people go out of their way to remember great jokes, where they'll never, ever stop to jot down the details of an eye-catching graphic. This makes humor an invaluable marketing tool --if you can make it serve your corporate objectives.

Some of you are dismissing this idea out of hand. "There's nothing funny about my product!" I can hear you saying. Well, what's funny about rental cars? Beer? Car insurance? None of these items are inheriently funny, yet companies in all three sectors have effectively used humor to fix their products in the public eye.

It is important to remember that your trade show campaign should be fully integrated into your marketing plan as a whole. If you are using humor in your television and print media, bring it to the show floor. However, if you are known as a stoic and conservative company, playing for laughs at the convention center will fall flat. Consistency in corporate image is key.

What can we learn from companies that have successfully used humor? There are four key lessons.

Avis Rental Cars "We try harder" campaign centers on humorous scenarios highlighting what would happen if a rental car company wasn't willing to go the extra mile. They film ridiculous situations, such as an attendant handing out books to customers waiting in long lines, and contrast them with the bright, efficient service a customer could expect from their company. It gets a chuckle - but you'd better believe that when a weary traveler is eyeing the rental car company kiosks at the airport, an image of that book-toting attendant flashes through his mind.

Key #1: Exaggerate the norm.
Contrast exaggerated examples of industry 'norms' with how your company excels. A restaurant chain that serves large portions could highlight the much smaller servings to be had at the competitor's. Wendy's did this very effectively with
the "Where's The Beef?" campaign in the Eighties. Be careful not to explicitly or implicity identify your competitors, or you'll be hearing from some very angry
lawyers.

Remember the Budwiser frogs? How about the lizards? Or the donkey that wanted to be a Clydesdale? Each of these campaigns was phenomenonally successful, yet only
tangentially related to the product at hand. Each approach was slightly different. Frogs croaking Bud - wis - er can be inheriently funny, especially if you've already had a few brews yourself. It also appealed to the coveted young drinker demographic, as studies have shown an intense brand loyalty among drinkers, generally established in the early twenties. The lizard campaign capitalized on the wry, sarcastic humor enjoyed by Budwiser's target audience. The donkey campaign tied into the traditional Clydesdale imagery, a strong if staid marketing tool.

Key #2: Know your target audience.
Jokes that appeal to one demographic may not work with another. Gen Y shoppers have especially sharp funny bones, and may appreciate dry wit. Tie in your classic marketing efforts whenever possible.

Geico and AFLAC have recently done very well with their talking animal ads. By using the same animals over and over to reinforce the marketing message - after all, that poor duck could surely use some disability insurance of his own by now! - both companies have created a brand awareness second to none. Ask the random person to identify a disability insurance company, and chances are that they'll tell you about AFLAC. Ask them about another disability insurance company, and you'll be lucky if they can name even one.

Key #3: Create a character.
Create a 'character' as part of your brand image. This character should show up EVERYWHERE - including television commercials, on the literature you distribute at the show, in your signage and graphics, and potentially as stuffed animals. The Serta Sheep toys have taken on a life of their own, and each and every one of them goes out with the company name blazoned on the side. That's humorous marketing at work. Consumers buy these secondary products because of the laugh-factor, and bring a constant advertisement into their home. The influence on subsequent purchasing decisions may be minor, but it is in fact there.

Humor can be a great way to convey your marketing message. Geico has done this very well with the "I saved money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!" series of commercials. Exercise equipment salesmen, politicians, animated characters - all have been pressed into service to recite those ten words. Using different settings keeps the audience engaged, while constant repitition drives the message home.

Key #4: Repetition counts.
Remember, consumers need to hear a message at least six times before they'll recall it easily. The trick is to keep the presentation fresh while the message remains constant.

Comedians world-wide will tell you that humor is a tough business. It's hard to tell what will make one person laugh and another roll their eyes in disgust. However, if a joke falls flat for a comedian, they simply move on to the next joke and keep moving. If you've invested tons of time and money in your humor campaign, you need to know these three things:

1. It must be funny. Test the campaign on objective people. Lots of objective people. If the majority laugh, you're golden. However, if less than half the people get the joke, drop it.

2. It must be quick. There are great funny jokes that take half an hour to tell. That's nice. Inflict them on your relatives or when you've got a whole room full of trapped subordinates. Customers aren't going to give you that much of their time. You've got half a minute tops to get them laughing.

3. It must reflect well on your company. Ethnic, racial, sexual, and gender based humor has absolutely no place in the corporate world. Perceived slurs - even if they are made in the guise of a joke - will travel around the world as fast as the internet can move, and suddenly your company will have all kinds of attention they don't want.

Laughing is a lot of hard work, isn't it? But once you've found the right balance, you'll have an advertising campaign that will draw the crowds into your exhibit - and more importantly, toward buying your products and services.

Written by Susan A. Friedmann,CSP, The Tradeshow Coach, Lake Placid, NY, author: "Meeting & Event Planning for Dummies," working with companies to improve their meeting and event success through coaching, consulting and training. Trade
Show Marketing by "The Trade Show Coach" - Susan Friedmann, CSP. For a free copy of "10 Common Mistakes Exhibitors Make", e-mail: article4@thetradeshowcoach.com; website: http://www.thetradeshowcoach.com
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Laugh with someone today. Laugh even if it's a little job to yourself. Thank heavens for the Internet, where we can always find some good humor.

Thanks Be to the Teachers of the World

THANKS BE TO THE TEACHERS OF THE WORLD (gk)

~ GO GET THE KNOWLEDGE ~ of the difference between good and evil, or whatever else captures your fancy. Check out REPLAY: Knowledge you've always craved, deliciously peeled, cored, seeded, diced, sliced and served up to you by the greatest teachers in the US. Gently used tapes and CDs you can finally afford from The Teaching Company.

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About today's story, Garrison Keillor's "American Gratitude"

My Schwimmfuehrer ultimately threw me out of the row boat to make it back to shore. Or not.

Yes, I cried. Yes, I was mad. Yes, I made it. Yes, I was proud of myself.

In this way, he taught me something more vital than just how to swim. He taught me how to know when I knew it well enough ... when to quit hanging on and take off ... when to quit asking head-questions and live the answers ... when to quit pretending I don't know how/am too young/too old/too dumb/too smart/too hurt/too confused/too little/too scared, and just do it. In other words, how to remove myself from the horns of my own dilemma.

GO TEACHERS! Some of the greatest are ready to teach you at THE REPLAY STORE.

There's a great anecdote in EQ-land, about that bastion of brainiacs, the University of Chicago. Not that there's anything wrong with brainiacs. For some unknown (but lovely) reason, it still remains a requirement for graduation from that venerable institution (which has produced some of the best economists we have) that one must pass a swimming test. Sing ho! for the classic education.

The "final," of course, takes place in Lake Michigan.

Simon showed up one fine day last year to take the final, jumped into the water on cue, and proceeded to flail, flounder and sink. Fast forward to when the ambulance crew had succeeded in resuscitating him, and the dean put forth the obvious question: "Young man, what made you think you knew how to swim?"

Simon's reply: "I'd read all the books about it."

Now our article . . .
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American gratitude
We bellyache, we kvetch, we get our undies in a bunch. But we still have so much to give thanks for.
By Garrison Keillor

Nov. 23, 2005 | Family, friends, good health (knock on wood), lots to be thankful for, including this $1.59 Rollerball pen and its flowing cursive line that makes me feel as elegant as Michel de Montaigne.

Gratitude makes sense for an American. We occupy a bountiful country of great civility (yes, really) and robustness and freedom, and if not the No. 1 Country in the World, nonetheless it has some great stuff, including Lake Superior, the Supreme Court, the Greatest Show on Earth, the Four Tops ("Baby, I Need Your Loving") and the World's Largest Ball of Twine Ever Rolled by One Man (12 feet in diameter) in Darwin, Minn. Cawker City, Kan., claims a bigger one, but it's more oblong and was done by committee.

Truly we should be thankful.

And we do try to be. But the English language is so rich in terms of complaint and insult and groaning and rather sparse in the Exaltation Dept., so the Lord doesn't get praised as He should. Instead, we bellyache, we kvetch, we get our undies in a bunch. After all, we're descended from people who considered rejoicing to be bad luck: It tempts fate. So they grumbled about the weather, politicians, children, popular music, new cars, anything modern, and complained about their health year after year until they died and went to heaven, where no doubt they are a little edgy even now -- nice place, paradise -- a little surprised at who else is here, harrumph, harrumph, but never mind -- plenty of bliss, no tears and so forth -- not sure how long it can last, but we shall see.

As for me, I am grateful for the functional. In our home, we are going through a series of malfunctioning coffeemakers that sputter and vomit quarts of hot brown sediment on the kitchen counter and floor, and that makes me grateful for things like this pen, which really is a pleasure.

Or Google, which can bring up 2.3 million references in .03 seconds, none of which sheds light on the subject, but they distract you so that instead of writing about "The Mill on the Floss" by George Eliot, you get interested in dental hygiene.

I'm glad for the E-ticket, which frees us from standing in line at the airline counter so that we can swiftly go stand in line at the security check.

And for the chat room, which frees everyone from inhibitions so that we can find out how much we'd rather not know about other people.

And let us all be thankful for the newspaper, a truly useful object. The press is the watchdog of a free society, and while TV reporters are styling their hair and practicing winsome facial expressions, newspaper reporters are on the phone, knocking on doors, doing the work, holding power accountable. And you read their work and absorb something from it, or not, and then you spread the newspaper out on the floor and it absorbs paint drips, or you pack it in a box around fragile objects, or you roll it up and swat cockroaches, or stuff it into cracks to keep the wind out, or stuff it under the kindling and light the fire -- one simple thing with six distinct uses. Or you can recycle it and it will transcend into cardboard. You can't do that with images on a screen.

These days I am grateful beyond words for a swimming teacher, Alyssa, who is a functional person of a very high order. Twice a week, she takes my sandy-haired, gap-tooth daughter in tow and puts her through her paces. Alyssa is young, blond, brimming with confidence, with broad shoulders and a car horn voice. She hollers, "Kickickickickickkick" and "GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO" and the little girl puts her head down and swims for all she's worth. A few months ago, she was timid in the water, like me, and now she is a fish, all thanks to her wonderful teacher, a taskmaster with a sense of humor, who is in the pool with her pupils, unlike the Schwimmfuehrer of my youth who strode alongside the pool and showered us with contempt and ridicule. Alyssa's gift is enormous to us. My daughter gets a taste of discipline and success and this makes me very happy. So much that is dismal and destructive in the world, but for me, the joy of a 7-year-old girl putting on her swim goggles almost makes up for it. Thanks be to God for the teachers of the world.

Happy Thanksgiving.

um, how could he forget the bottom of the bird cage??
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THE REPLAY STORE. Gently used tapes and CDs you can finally afford from The Teaching Company.
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BABY YOURSELF WITH ARBONNE PRODUCTS - - pure, natural ingredients designed with your health in mind. Shop with me online at My Arbonne.

Looking for some charms and crystals for the New Year? Go HERE.

Mastering this Thing Called Living

This painting is called "Gut Feeling"

DO NOT THINK DISHONESTLY

Some good EQ points in today's guest article, framed somewhat differently. For instance, with the basis of neuroscience in EQ, we separate the "mind" ("brain") into emotions and thinking. (And more than that - take The EQ Foundation Course!) Consider The EQ CheckIn - How are you feeling physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as indicative of the balance attainable through the study of EQ. Mastery, in this sense, means almost "flow." When you are neither thinking nor feeling, but acting from your true self. How much faster you operate, and how much more effectively. You don't have to think about it, because you already have; and your emotions facilitate, they do not interfere.

Read on!

"HAD A GOOD I.D.E.A. LATELY?"
by guest writer, Steven Barnes

The most elusive quality of excellence, of peak performers worldwide and throughout history is that thing called "Mastery." What is this thing, and is it possible for ordinary people, however committed, to touch this exalted state?

The answer is "yes," but I've got good news, bad news, and more good news. The first good news is that the path is deceptively simple. The bad news is that it is hard, and can be painful. The last, good news is that those on the path have no real
competition - very few people are actually willing to be excellent in life. They want to talk about it, and dream about it, but are unwilling to actually pay the price.

And this, as I've said, is very good indeed for those of us who are.

The first thing we must do is devise a useful definition of "Mastery" whether we are talking about this quality in the domain of writing and the arts, of interpersonal interactions, of intellectual pursuit. Then we must throw light on a pathway to this quality that will enable us to reach our peak potential.

Try this description: "Mastery is the ability to perfectly match energy and attention to the task at hand."

In other words, if every task has a perfect "profile" of attention and ability necessary to complete it, if you bring either less or more of yourself to the task, you may well complete it, but you will struggle and waste energy-or not perform properly at all.

Or try this description: "Mastery is the ability to perform instinctively and instantly in the manner you would perform had you a month to consider your actions." In other words, to have instant access to your own deepest capacities.

In other words, Mastery is the place where intellectual or physical or emotional preparation meets pure instinct. The reflexes of an animal, the emotional purity of a child, the intellectual focus of a scholar. An incredible goal, designed to create incredible results.

And the achievement of that goal is exactly what I.D.E.A. is about.

Instinctive Designation of Energy and Attention. The deliberate cultivation of instinct, energy, and intellect to maximize your results as a writer, athlete, businesswoman, human being, whatever your goal. The theory is both childishly simple
and devilishly difficult, but is your key to accessing your deepest wisdom.

Basically, I.D.E.A. says that you develop your instincts by giving yourself deep feedback about the way you are currently operating in the world. To strip away illusion, and operate in a "truth zone" about the person you are and the world you live in. As the ancient Samurai Musashi Miyamoto once put it, "Do not think dishonestly." A commitment to total truth will tear the blinders from your eyes, possibly for the first time in your life.

Sounds simple? Just wait. Here's the bad news. In order to be certain that you are accurate in your assessments, you must take responsibility for your life, and the results you have achieved (or occasionally endured!) in all three major arenas of your life: body, mind, and spirit.

1) Body is fitness and health. Your body should be in alignment with your own values, or you should be engaged in a daily process of cultivating the physical health and beauty and performance that WOULD reflect your values. Want to know if you
are? Strip to your underwear and look in the mirror. If you are attracted to what you see, you are in alignment with your values. If you aren't, you aren't. It's as simple as that.

2) Mind. Mind manifests most clearly in our education and career. Any worm will move away from pain, and toward pleasure. Believe me, if you aren't working at a career you enjoy, it isn't due to lack of intellect. In such a case you may have emotional conflicts, value confusion about safety, freedom, and responsibility, and it would behoove you to commit to healing them. The core question: if you won the lottery next week, would you still be at your job next year? If not, you should accept the challenge of crafting for yourself a career path that IS that attractive.

3) Spirit. Just as grass bending can signal the presence of wind, the relationships we have with other human beings in THIS world can help us understand our connection to the divine. The most important relationship to address is the one with our most significant other, our husband or wife, or lifemate. The history of this aspect of our lives tells us an enormous amount about our inner world. The most important question: If you viewed your partner (or the average of your partners, over your relationship history) as being your mirror image, what would that say about you? And don't protest that they aren't, that there's no connection between you and the most important person in your life. What a joke! Our relationships measure our honesty, passion, intelligence, self-respect and general energy Take responsibility here. If you're happy with your relationship, pat yourself on the back! And if you're not, you have work to do.

You need not tell another human being what you learn if you look at these three arenas, but YOU need to know. You need to come to some conclusions about how and why you are in the life space you are in. The answers to these questions must be consistent: in other words, you are willing to judge other people by the same standards you hold yourself to. In all likelihood, engaging in the I.D.E.A. process will give you vast compassion for other human beings: we are all battle-scarred, we
are all magnificent, we have all failed, we have all succeeded.

And we move on, toward the light. For an artist, and we are all artists, this process opens the door to a level of understanding most human beings never approach. If you walk this path, it's important to avoid guilt, blame, and shame-these emotions have no place in the evaluation of our lives. They merely cloud the issue. Meditation, dream diaries, therapy, or talking with good and supportive friends might be valuable to help move through the pain and confusion. What I promise you is that if you walk this path, you will be one of the very very few human beings on this planet who are actually committed to excellence. Mastery can be lonely, but as you climb that mountain, moving toward a more and more rarified level of Performance, you will begin to meet the other climbers. And they will extend their hands to you, and welcome you into an extraordinary family...one bonded not by blood, but by spirit.

About The Author: Steven Barnes is a NY Times bestselling writer, hypnotist, and peak performance councilor. Creator of the LifewritingT high-performance system for writers and readers, he has lectured on story and human consciousness at UCLA, Mensa, and the Smithsonian Institute. Learn more about Lifewriting at: http://www.lifewrite.com.

P.S. We are all doing the best we can under the circumstance, even when clearly we are not.