BE KIND. Everyone you know is going through something harder than you can even imagine.

Are you trying to get a book published?

In today's mailbag ...

Eva Shaw, author of over 70 books submitted her first book 49 times before she found a publisher.

JK. Rowling? 29 times - and she had a friend in the business.

Don't give up!

***** Save and repeat for when I get bummed after dozens of my own rejections ****

Good advice, coach!

Emotional Intelligence Test

Emotional Intelligence is really about using all your brain - whole-brained thinking, and balanced living. It's being able to make choices where emotional things are involved, and knowing whether what you're looking at is "a thinking thing" or a "feeling thing."

How Smart Are Your Emotions? This test rates your ability to regulate your emotions in a healthy and balanced manner. www.Assessment.com

Find out about your emotional intelligence. Then call for some coaching. What's really neat about EQ is that you can improve yours. You can't move your IQ, but you can develop and improve your EQ all the time. Get ahead of the game. Start now.

Politicians should go for the gut to win?

Democrats must go for gut against GOP

Emotional Intelligence applied to Politics. Lack of Emotional Intelligence is why the Democrafts keep losing elections.

CONSIDER THIS HYPOTHETICAL begins Dick Polman, columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer. Always an emotionally intelligent way to begin a potentially emotional topic -- like why the Democrats lose.

The Triune brain and its evolution. "Consider this hypothetical."

"Democrats must go for the gut against GOP," Polman and adds:

"But that is not what Democrats do.They are cerebral by nature. They dislike emotional appeals. They fear that if they get too pugnacious, some voters might get mad. But as clinical psychologist and political consultant Drew Westen argues in his new book The Political Brain, this fear of gut-level combat is a big reason the Democratic Party keeps losing national elections." Westen's book is subtitled "The Role of Emotion in Deciding the Fate of the Nation."

According to Polman, Westen studies the brain as a scientist and he says "its emotional properties are 'millions of years older' than its reasoning properties. Therefore, he argues, the Democrats should stop thinking they can win simply by appealing to the intellect. It’s not only bad politics, it’s bad neurology. He writes: “The political brain is an emotional brain. It is not a dispassionate calculating machine. ,."

So he is talking about emotional intelligence - using all parts of the triune brain. Political or otherwise, no appeal to the intellect works as well as something "crafted as a visceral message that aims for the gut and engages the emotions."

Emotional intelligence is about using all of your brain for the best results.

He ends with what Adlai Stevenson said in 1956. The Democratic candidate was leaving a rally when a woman told him, “Every thinking person will be voting for you.” He replied: “Madam, that is not enough. I need a majority.”

AGING has a lot to do with your emotional intelligence. LISTEN UP GIRL FRIEND!

Today we look at -- Should You Live in a Retirement Community (or Let Your Mother)? Actually what we're looking at is aging well.
How to age well is quite the topic these days as medicine extends our lifespans. One thing that’s often debated is whether one should live in a retirement community or not.

This is so much a matter of personal preference. You can be happy and have good experiences anywhere (or not). The main thing is that you keep going and growing. In my coaching practice, I have many people over the age of 60. Let me share some of the things I’ve learned.

Who you hang with matters a lot at any time in life. A retirement community can give you commiseration for things – someone to talk with about Vietnam, and what’s wrong with the government, and what helps arthritis. More importantly, people who can share your frustration. Like going shopping and having to wade through 50 cheese choices instead of 3. People who, when the discussion turns to the fact that there may be social security in 20 years, remember the time before there was social security and know that life goes on – which is irritating for youngsters to hear. That sort of thing, and you should always keep people around who share your history

However, this can be too much of a good thing. It is healthy at any time in life to associate with people who are very different from you—in age and in every other way. I coach emotional intelligence, I should add, and we’re talking here about things that research has shown help us age better.

There’s the famous “new toys, new playmates” study with the mice. The ones who were given a steady supply of new and stimulating toys in their cages, and got to meet new little mice did a lot better. So if you live in a retirement community, be sure you get out of it quite often.

You see, we cannot form new brain cells as we age, but we can form new neuronal connections, and to do this, we need new experiences. Take the analogy of marriage. It’s great to be in love and have a great spouse. However, to keep the relationship alive and interesting, you both need to go out and meet new people and do new things, and bring that back to the relationship.

So wherever you choose to live, make sure you keep going – mentally, physically and emotionally. Learning something new is one of the best things you can do. I mean SO new that you’re totally lost. Where you can feel the brain working to try and get around it, and not really having anything to hang it on. I mean learning to play the violin when you are (or were) a physics professor. Or getting a job if you never worked outside the home. Or moving to a new place where you have to learn how to get around on the highways. If you’re reading this with a parent in mind, encourage this as well. Keep asking, “What’s new?”

One reason people grow through crises is because it’s something you can’t get your mind around. Some people, of course, do not GROW through a crisis, they just GET through it and then, sometimes, harden and grow brittle. Things are not going to adjust to YOU, you must adjust to THEM. You can learn resilience, BTW, it’s an emotional intelligence competency, as is the sort of frustration tolerance it takes to sit in the back of the classroom and know nothing at all. Now there’s a new experience for a senior! Best thing in the world.

Also pay close attention to where you go for counsel. Whether it’s a coach, therapist, or clergy, don’t ever stick with someone who seems to have no ideas or enthusiasm for you and your life, or who doesn’t keep pushing you to your growing edge. You always have a growing edge, no matter how old you are. Unless you decide you don’t, in which case you are right! Check out Yvonne Dowlen, figure skating at the age of 80+: http://www.dailyherald.com/galleries/benskate/index.HTML. “If you don’t move,” she says, “you can’t move.” This applies to the mental and the emotional as well as the physical. This woman has real spirit. She had a car accident and her doctor told her to give up skating and she took that as a challenge. She attributes her health to exercise and supplements. (Check out the great supplements at MyArbonne.

Good role models? Oh, there are the obvious ones, like Art Linkletter, James Brown, Jack Lalanne, Luciano Pavarotti and Colonel Sanders, but that’s like looking at movie stars. There are things we know about their lives, and things we don’t and they sort of live on another plane anyway.

Let me share with you some real life examples, some real life heroes. They’re the best kind. Names and a few details changed for confidentiality.

Julie is 63. She tore a core muscle last year and had some bad months where she could hardly walk, but she was determined to get back to her – yes – rollerblading, and she is. She also became fluent in Russian and German in the past 5 years.

Maureen lost her adult son when she was 60. This might crater a person, and who would blame them. Instead Maureen moved to a big city and got a job downtown, with a 4 hour commute in some of this nation’s worst traffic and in a new field. She says it’s keeping her young.

Raymond, a retired math professor is 70 and his wife died last year. He is enthusiastically looking on the Internet sites and dating. He travels to one of his kids’ homes every month, and just got back from an Alaskan cruise – his 10th .

Annie, 55, lost her husband 5 years ago and went into a shell. Well not with good coaching you don’t! With encouragement, she’s over her fibromyalgia, started playing tennis again and got back into her size 6s. She’s dating on the Internet and just bought a new home.

On my last river cruise to Russia was Amanda, 87 years old, on her own. She said she hadn’t had time to before then. She fell in Moscow, and got some bandages but she refused to even talk about it, just kept smiling. She said she was there to have a good time, and wanted the rest of us to. What a woman! After the 2-week cruise, she was staying over in St. Petersburg for 2 weeks at a hotel.

Nancy is over 60 and speaks on cruises. Like many people of an age, she knows a lot and always has topics of interest. She stays current on the Internet. She pays a small per diem, and her companion travels free. This makes her very popular! No, she’s not a retired college professor, she’s just a dynamic and great speaker with the wealth of information one can have at this age.

Edward, 85, was someone I trained to be a coach. Coaching is a great late-in-life profession because clients come to you and want your advice and listen to you, good clients that is. Edward said he felt wanted and needed and that his own kids wouldn’t listen to him, so this was fun! And BTW, he had to learn how to do a website. Not a problem to this guy!

Louise is 86. She tells me, "Invite me. If its a dog fight, invite me, or cleaning your garage. I like to get out!"

One last one, Peter the successful attorney, 60. He signed up for a film course and just made his first movie. It’s very artsy. “I needed that,” he said.

60 is the new 40, so 80 must be the new 60. Wherever you decide to live, keep yourself surrounded by the good old things, but be sure and give yourself a nice supply of new playmates, new experiences, and new toys.

Stretch your brain the THE EQ COURSE. Your brain will thank you for it, over and over again.

Want coaching?? (Yes I'm also a "retirement coach.") Call 817-734-1471 or mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .

When a Physician Makes an Error

Emotional intelligence makes you better able to handle stress and more resilient. IF there's anything a physician needs, it's that.

Doctors makes mistakes. They react emotionally when they do.

In what purports to be the first study on this, the Joint Commission Journal on Quality and Patient Safety reported "The Emotional Impact of Medical Errors on Practicing Physicians in the United States and Canada" this month. (See article here: Study Indicates Physicians Experience Stress Following Medical Errors on Yahoo! News )

Of course the pressure in this life-and-death field is tremendous to NEVER make an error. It draws perfectionists and highly competent individuals, and if you are being cared for by a physician you would say -- I should hope so. I was married to a doctor and I know what they go through.

I can miss an appointment with a client. You can make a mistake and send the check to the wrong person. Nancy over there can cut some one's hair too short. Tom can mess up someone's bill. A cop can cuff the wrong person and a college professor can cite the wrong date or theory. All these mistakes can be corrected. But for a doctor -- procedures, diagnostics, treatment -- make a mistake and someone dies. Actually it's usually called "an error."

The errors of omission are just as potentially fatal as the errors of commission. When I worked with a group concerned with medical ethics, there was a case where a patient had been "left in the basement of the hospital" on the way for some test, and expired there.

That sort of responsiblity is understood in the field, but that doesn't make it any easier.

According to the study, 80% of physicians expressed a desire for help after such an incident, but found there were many barriers.

"Counseling needs to be made available to patients and health care professionals so that everyone involved with errors receives the support they need," said Waterman, who led the study.

Notable findings. After a mistake, physicians reported:

• increased anxiety about future errors (61 percent),
  
• loss of confidence (44 percent),


• sleeping difficulties (42 percent),


• reduced job satisfaction (42 percent),


• harm to their reputation (13 percent) following errors

Only 18 percent of physicians surveyed had received education or training in disclosure of errors, and 86 percent expressed interest in such education or training.

While some physicians thought counseling after-the-fact would help, 35% did not think so. 25% were concerned about their malpractice insurance costs going up if they sought counseling, negative peer reactions, lack of time to seek services.

RESILIENCE

Making mistakes and recovering from them is about resilience, an emotional intelligence competency. It means being able to bounce back from adverse events, to recover and continue to move forward. As I say in my EQ and Resilience courses, the good news is you will get lots of practice. That is also the bad news.

Why not emotional intelligence training? I have coached physicians who were also burnt out from listening to other people's problems all day, trying to sort through the approximate language and high-level emotions, having to deny drugs, and having to tell someone a bad diagnosis.

Part of medicine is factual and a science. Part of medicine is emotional and an art and this has largely been ignored in medical training.

Emotional intelligence is a pro-active way of dealing with stress. You know that stress is going to happen, and if you study resilience and emotional intelligence, you can prepare yourself. It's the emotionally intelligent thing to do, because bad things happen to good people, and good people also make mistakes.

Football Requires Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is as essential to winning at sports as it is to winning in everything else in life. Whether you're after the Big Win in career, school, marriage, aging, stress, or retirement ... IQ gets you through school. EQ (emotional intelligence) gets you through life. And the good news is that emotional intelligence can be learned.

"EQ in sports?" you say.

Ever watch someone in a tennis match 'psych out' the opponent? Long time-outs, arguing about calls, taking too long to serve, acting sick or injured, anything to prolong, distract ... or serving with strange sounds?

One of the ways I increased my understanding of emotional intelligence so I could teach it to others, was accompanying my cousin, the tennis pro, to matches. "It's a head game," he would tell me. Well, it's an emotional game, too. If you watch teenagers play, you see clearly that until and unless they can control their emotions, they are going to lose matches they should have won. Their emotional reactions -- their weaknesses -- will be studied by their opponents and used against them, just as surely as they'll learn where to place the serve. It's a game of skill, and part of the skill is identifying and using the other's weaknesses.

Well latest on the emotional intelligence bandwagon is the Kentucky State University football team. They're working with Dr. Dennis Rader, a professor at KSU, who says he's not a sports psychologist but an emotional intelligence coach.

Wonder if he's gotten his EQ coach certification** yet ...

I've trained and certified EQ coaches with many different backgrounds, who plan to use it in many various ways. An MBA who spcializes in business communication. An equine specialist who teaches EQ through horses. A therapist who wanted to add emotional intelligernce to her mix. A manager who just knew she needed it. A minister who had been asked to prepare himself to teach emotional intelligence at seminary. An entrepreneur who wanted to be a coach and knew that emotional intelligence applied to any problem, and held the solution to any issue a coaching client could present. And I've trained and certified coaches all over the world - Malaysia, the Philippines, UK, Scotland, Wales, Beijing, India ... all over the US, of course.

Head football coach Fred Farrier's football team is still working toward winning its first Southern Intercollegiate Athletic Conference championship (see article here: State-Journal.com http://www.state-journal.com/news/article/2305711) and the coach felt workshops would assist the team to overcome barriers and achieve success, so started to work with Dr. Rader. Coach Farrier is quoted in the article as saying, "We wanted to try to help our team find a way to finish projects and work around obstacles. We felt like if we were able to identify some of those issues we could work through those issues."

To read about the **coach certification program, go HERE (http://www.susandunn.cc/coach%20certification.htm)
Or email me. , or call me at 817-734-1471. It can be yours in 6 weeks or less.

Career and Business Success

Career success and business success depend upon the impression you make on others. We can't help instant judgments about people. You know how they say "you only get one first impression." That's why we work so hard on a first-date, a job interview, or a presentation to a company, and also our websites.

The first time someone sees you (or hears you), or their first glance at your website or resume or business card, they form an opinion.

It's human nature. The reptilian brain wants to keep us safe and so we scan quickly. It's known to be a "sloppy" system, because it quickly differentiates what can either harm or help you and after that, there isn't a lot of thinking. There's no refinement to it. It's "down and dirty."

Now with emotional intelligence, we try to take advantage of all 3 brains. You note the initial impression, take it under advisement, and then you think about it, with the neocortex, or feel about it, with the limbic brain, or both.

However, the initial impression is very powerful.

I happened upon this website, since it arrived in my google alerts. If you were looking for a coach would you contact these people? TGIM Work-Life!

Psychology Today: Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature

Psychology Today: Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature

Ten Politically Incorrect Truths about Human Nature appeared in Psychology Today, the work of Alan S. Miller Ph.D. and Satoshi Kanazawa Ph.D.

ISN'T THIS TRUTHS ABOUT OUR ANIMAL NATURE??

The findings are things like men are attracted to blond Barbie-types; humans are naturally polygamous; women benefit from polygyny, while men benefit from monogamy; most suicide bombers are Muslim; having sons reduces the likelihood of divorce; beautiful people have more daughters; Bill Gates and Paul McCartney have something in common with criminals (waning competitiveness); what Clinton did was “natural”, and men who harass women at work aren’t discriminating, they’re treating them like men--at last. Trivers-Willard theory included. Read full article here.

Some of these things are not just politically incorrect, they are things that many humans endeavor to avoid. They are wrong. And what they are 'wrong' to is our limbic brain and neocortex. We avoid them because we have emotional intelligence.

---Not all men leave their middle aged wives.
---Some people become their most creative and "competitive" in later years, in all fields: Goethe, Nancy Fenn, the Kentucky Colonel.
---When conditions in a country include things that favor suicide-bombing, the vast majority still say "no thanks" and/or emigrate to a country where conditions are more favorable to a good life.
---And some CEOs and alpha males don't get Neanderthal with men OR women in the workplace.

ISN'T THIS ABOUT OUR ANIMAL NATURE, our reptilian brains?

And hasn't most of our time on earth been about getting above the pure animal nature?
Civilized people have always tried to behave, well, not like animals.

Even the Pope comes around and apologizes for what is not just "politically incorrect," but plain out wrong. For missionary abuses aginst indigenous people of the South Pacific, for the persecution of Galileo Galilei (yes there was harassment in his workplace).

After all, it's is also a "truth" about our so-called "human nature" to kill what bothers you. It is the way that some of these alpha males have chosen to compete -- by wiping out whole countries. Just that the killing isn't mentioned, because that's really not politically correct.

We have 3 brains, and it's what makes us human. We are especially noted, as humans, for our neocortex -- the one that allows us to think about thinking. So while these things may be compelling from the reptilian brain, they need not be acted upon. In many cases it is best NOT to act on them. Just because it's in the range of possible behaviors available to you doesn't mean you have to do it, or should do it. Come on now.

It's fine to 'note' that you lust for gorgeous men who walk by. It's more emotionally intelligent, and more "human" (as opposed to opearing like an instinctively-functioning animal) to say 'so what?' and go back home to your husband whom you love and have made a committment to. For the Good Life.

Not all men want to marry a blond Barbie. They find a fine, loving brunette who might even be middle-aged, whom they know will make a good wife. It isn't all about the passing on of the genes. It's isn't all about the reptilian brain which was programmed eons ago.

It's time to crawl up out of the swamp, as it were. It isn't all about what your genes think would make your genes survive. i.e., IT ISN"T ALL ABOUT YOU.

Of course it's good to know that some people function mindlessly at this level so you can be prepared. EQ -- if something's likely to be used against you, it's good to know about it!

Intuition - How to get it, how to use it, why to want it

WHAT IS INTUITION - Get the book, Intuition and learn how to develop this important tool

When you trust yourself, you can trust your intuition.

Definition:
1. quick and ready insight
2. immediate apprehension or cognition; knowledge or conviction gained by intuition; the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference

Also known as "gut feeling" or "gut instinct" it is a way of knowing without knowing how you know. It's knowledge "without evident rational thought." It does not preclude reason, but rather work with it.

Corporations are even hiring Intuitionists.

Call it what you will -- it's an Emotional Intelligence competency -- a powerful decision-making, problem-solving, insight-giving tool that helps us get along better in the world.

It is faster and more sure than reason. You must learn to sepate it out from wishful thinking and paranoia, however. As I say in my ebook, if you can't manage your 'fear' and 'desire,' you can't rely on your intuition, because it will be faulty. How do you tell? Managing the emotions and self-awareness are the beginning. Then we tell you what steps to follow and give many exercises, proven to improve your intuition. When you can trust yourself, you can trust your intuition.

Philippe Jaroussky - the tone of an angel, the virtuosity of the Devil

Enjoy Philippe Jaroussky who won the French Lyric Artiste Award for 2007. Phillipe Jaroussky began as a violinist, then started singing. He is a soprano countertenor. Here he sings a beautiful Vivaldi aria. For more on Vivaldi, see CLUB VIVO PER LEI. He sings well with the strings. I love the plucking strings of Vivaldi, don't you?

'This young singer with the tone of an angel and the virtuosity of the Devil has come into the limelight in only a few years as the great new French vocal talent' - La Terrasse

Absolutely incredible, PHILIPPE JAROUSSKY, Vivaldi aria

Retribution, Retaliation, Re-attribution, Reality

THE MIDDLE EAST: Contribution of Basic Cognitive Errors to Cycles of Retribution

He Who Cast the First Stone Probably Didn’t the OpEd article by Daniel Gilbert, Harvard professor and author of "Stumbling on Happiness." Notes:

"He hit me first" provides an acceptable rationale for doing that which is otherwise forbidden. Both civil and religious law provide long lists of behaviors that are illegal or immoral — unless they are responses in kind, in which case they are perfectly fine...a punch thrown second is legally and morally different than a punch thrown first....That’s why participants in every one of the globe’s intractable conflicts — from Ireland to the Middle East — offer the even-numberedness of their punches as grounds for exculpation.The problem with the principle of even-numberedness is that people count differently...

In study conducted by William Swann @ Univ of TX, pairs of volunteers played the roles of world leaders who were trying to decide whether to initiate a nuclear strike. The first volunteer was asked to make an opening statement, the second volunteer was asked to respond, the first volunteer was asked to respond to the second, and so on.

At the end of the conversation, the volunteers were shown several of the statements that had been made and were asked to recall what had been said just before and just after each of them...
The results revealed an intriguing asymmetry: When volunteers were shown one of their own statements, they naturally remembered what had led them to say it. But when they were shown one of their conversation partner’s statements, they naturally remembered how they had responded to it...What seems like a grossly self-serving pattern of remembering is actually the product of two innocent facts. First, because our senses point outward, we can observe other people’s actions but not our own. Second, because mental life is a private affair, we can observe our own thoughts but not the thoughts of others.

Together, these facts suggest that our reasons for punching will always be more salient to us than the punches themselves — but that the opposite will be true of other people’s reasons and other people’s punches...

Examples aren’t hard to come by. Shiites seek revenge on Sunnis for the revenge they sought on Shiites; Irish Catholics retaliate against the Protestants who retaliated against them; and since 1948, it’s hard to think of any partisan in the Middle East who has done anything but play defense.

In each of these instances, people on one side claim that they are merely responding to provocation and dismiss the other side’s identical claim as disingenuous spin. But research suggests that these claims reflect genuinely different perceptions of the same bloody conversation.If the first principle of legitimate punching is that punches must be even-numbered, the second principle is that an even-numbered punch may be no more forceful than the odd-numbered punch that preceded it.

LEGITIMATE RETRIBUTION is meant to restore balance, and thus an eye for an eye is fair, but an eye for an eyelash is not. When the European Union condemned Israel for bombing Lebanon in retaliation for the kidnapping of two Israeli soldiers, it did not question Israel’s right to respond, but rather, its “disproportionate use of force.” It is O.K. to hit back, just not too hard.

Research shows that people have as much trouble applying the second principle as the first. In a study conducted by Sukhwinder Shergill and colleagues at University College London, pairs of volunteers were hooked up to a mechanical device that allowed each of them to exert pressure on the other volunteer’s fingers.

The researcher began the game by exerting a fixed amount of pressure on the first volunteer’s finger. The first volunteer was then asked to exert precisely the same amount of pressure on the second volunteer’s finger. The second volunteer was then asked to exert the same amount of pressure on the first volunteer’s finger. And so on.

The two volunteers took turns applying equal amounts of pressure to each other’s fingers while the researchers measured the actual amount of pressure they applied.

The results were striking. Although volunteers tried to respond to each other’s touches with equal force, they typically responded with about 40 percent more force than they had just experienced. Each time a volunteer was touched, he touched back harder, which led the other volunteer to touch back even harder. What began as a game of soft touches quickly became a game of moderate pokes and then hard prods, even though both volunteers were doing their level best to respond in kind.

Each volunteer was convinced that he was responding with equal force and that for some reason the other volunteer was escalating. Neither realized that the escalation was the natural byproduct of a neurological quirk that causes the pain we receive to seem more painful than the pain we produce, so we usually give more pain than we have received.

Research teaches us that our reasons and our pains are more palpable, more obvious and real, than are the reasons and pains of others. This leads to the escalation of mutual harm, to the illusion that others are solely responsible for it and to the belief that our actions are justifiable responses to theirs.

None of this is to deny the roles that hatred, intolerance, avarice and deceit play in human conflict. It is simply to say that basic principles of human psychology are important ingredients in this miserable stew. Until we learn to stop trusting everything our brains tell us about others — and to start trusting others themselves — there will continue to be tears and recriminations in the wayback .

Comments to the article included:

"The lesson is: Don't start it, because even fair-minded people will pay you back with some extra punishment that you richly deserve for breaching the peace. ..."

"I am a strong believer in the human capacity to use knowledge to modify our behavior in beneficial ways. So, it can only be hoped that these experiments will add to our store of self-knowledge and thus improve our decision-making process. ..."

Research also shows that the best marriages are those where the couple soothe one another in a conflict rather than escalating or agitating.

Now there's a BUDGET EQ COURSE. What's your excuse?

Cardiovascular Disease and Emotions

How many deaths today worldwide? How many births? How many bicycles, cars and computers have been made today in the whole wide world?

Take a look at YOUR WORLD from a different perspection with the World Clock. I'm writing this at 11:26 pm CST and so far today there have been 15 deaths from leprosy in the world, 17,930 deaths from cancer, 40,262 from cardiovascular diseases, and 459 from war. God rest their souls in peace.

You can check for the day, week, month and year. I was amazed to see how many animals have become extinct this year. It doesn't seem possible - tens of thousands??

Cardiovascular diseases -- there's always a component of emotions and stress when you're talking about cardiovascular disease. There's nothing that stresses you physiologically like anger. It's one of the best reasons to learn emotional intelligence -- for your health. 5 minutes of anger suppresses your immune system for up to 8 hours. Your immune system is your health.

Now there's a Budget EQ Course, so there's no reason to put it off any longer.

Why you should not make (or accept) a Video Resume

Overlawyered

Is doing a video resume good emotional intelligence? After all, you're a dynamic, attractive person who presents well in-person. Is accepting them from applicants the smart thing to do? You sure get a clot more clues when you can see the candidate "in action." Will it help you in your search for a new job or a better job? If you're interviewing for jobs, see my ebook "Acing the New Interview"

Some have thought it a good idea when applying via such online job sites as Jobster, CareerBuilder and Vault.

According to this article on Overlawyered many labor and employment attorney are warning employers that video resumes creates too much exposure to be "comfortably accepted". That's lawyer-eze for "not a good idea."

"Just don't even deal with them," said Dennis Brown, an attorney in the San Jose, Calif., office of Littler Mendelson whose firm recently advised employers about the dangers of video resumés in a seminar. "My advice to my clients who have asked me about video resumes -- and I have had a lot of clients ask lately -- is do not accept, do not review video resumes."

This lawyer feels video resumes reveal information about a person's race, sex, disability, age -- all details that could wind up in a discrimination lawsuit.... "This is one of those instances where a little bit of unnecessary knowledge is dangerous." ...

Another lawyer, Darlene Smith of the Washington office of Boston's Mintz, Levin, Cohn, Ferris, Glovsky and Popeo, said she was deadset against it.

Comments from attorneys for the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission are included in this article on Overlawyered.

You Gotta Kiss De Girl

I think he captures something here ...



Susan Dunn, The Internet Dating Coach. Email me and let's get started: sdunn@susandunn.cc .

About to give up on dating? Now there's help.

Dating and about to give up?? Now there's help. DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN written by an expert.

There's nothing like experience. I've heard the same things over and over, so I know what works and what doesn't in the dating arena. In interviewed hundreds of women in order to produce a manual that can help.

Let me make this easy for you.

Don't give up! Now there's help.

DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN*by Susan Dunn, MA
Attract Your Ideal Partner (and keep him) Expert

Are you trying to date and getting sick of the runaround? I serve as Attract Your Dream Partner EXPERT for a major website. I know what you you're going through. That's why I wrote this book. I consistently get rated "beat of the best" and have 10s in all categories - advice knowledge, expertise, promptness and courtesy.

Now let me share with you what I've found out. Order DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN - newly revised using information gathered from my experience helping women find, attract and keep the man of their dreams.

*special section on Internet dating -- the odds are in your favor, ladies, when you date on the Internet -- provided you know what you're doing. We show you how.

Coaching available as well, mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc . It really helps.

What Kind of Corporation Has a Blog

An authentic one, that's who. Southwest Airlines' Blog - NUTS ABOUT SOUTHWEST

“Blogging works for us because, as a Company, we know we have nothing to hide,” said Southwest’s President Colleen Barrett. “Our Employees absolutely ooze authenticity, and our bloggers have been able to bring that same SPIRIT to the blog.”

AUTHENTICITY is one of the emotional intelligence (EQ) competencies. It works for individuals and it works for corporation. Last year, according to their website, Southwest "boldy went where no other airline and few Fortune 500 companies had gone before -- into the blogosphere."

On the blog you can take a peek inside the culture and operations of the company. There are nearl 30 employee bloggers (both frontline and behind the scenes), and 'customers' can participate. In January 2007, there were more than 70,000 total visitors, nearly 30,000 unique. On NUTS ABOUT SOUTHWEST, you can share "the Warrior Spirit," "the Servant's Heart," and "FUN-LUVing Attitude."

BTW if you love Southwest like I do, and fought to set Love Field free, you can thank Congress for the Wright Amendment Reform Act here: http://www.setlovefree.com/. If you live in Texas like I do, and have a sister in San Diego, you know what this is all about.

P.S. Etiquette also works. Southwest, who lobbied so hard re: Love Field, not provides the link for us to thank Congress.

Well, thanks, Southwest for setting an example of authenticity and etiquette.

Etiquette - with the Queen of England and Others

It happens every day in the workplace. Those "sticky dilemmas."

I sure went through enough when I was in marketing ... like the CEO who wanted to do his own TV spot, and he was not only unattrative, he came off in front of the camera as deceptive. (How did I know? When you're a marketing CEO, it's your job to know that sort of thing.)

Now, if you were photographing the Queen of England, would you tell her to take off her crown?

In a line too good to have been scripted, the Queen replies, "What do you think this is?"

Quite a multicultural SNAFU here. Annie Leibovitz, hired to photograph the Queen, asks her to remove it (ever how nicely), telling her it would be more "casual." Well, yes, that it would.

COMMENTS:

• Yes, there is "simply going too far"? It's an EQ thing
• Come on now, do you honetly think the Queen of England would "storm out"? Don't you think she would have the offender removed?
• It's a TIARA, not a crown?
• You cannot trust the media, you cannot trust photography any more. It appears she's storming out. That footage was from when she arrived.
  
  Watch a video here:
  -->BBC apologizes to Queen Elizabeth II Or go here:
  javascript:navigateToTab('external','http://www.blinkx.com/burl?v=xETsMg94s9hIQaehBFVgqHJijK15OJCr')
• July 12: After implying that the queen stormed out of a photo-shoot with Annie Leibovitz, the BBC refutes the claim and issues an apology. NBC's Martin Savidge reports.

In the workplace, would you:

1. Watch your lawyer practice his jury summary, when you've been asked to watch and give feedback, and then tell him that he needed to make better eye contact?
2. Edit the CEO's article, correcting the grammar? The content? His opinion that "no vice president could be trusted with ..."
3. Advise your colleague that their dress was inappropriate for the office.
4. Tell your secretary she smelled bad.
5. Give negative feedback about anything to a 'superior officer', even if requested.
6. Inform your boss that the reason people wouldn't meet with him was because they said he was always picking his nose.

Tricky questions? The last one is a true example of when a coach was called in to find out why people were avoiding a certain executive.

Nothing's harder than the office politics. Need some help? Take the BUDGET EQ COURSE. There's also the Difficult People course.

I'm a coach. My job is to make your job easier!

817-734-1471, sdnun@susandunn.cc .

SEEN ON A TSHIRT: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS
BUT I'M KIND OF A BIG DEAL AROUND HERE

P.S. and so is my crown, as a symbol the UK.

Paul Potts Criticized by Herb Breslin, Pavarotti's Former Manager

Hollywood Hookup : Paul Potts Criticized by Pavarotti's Former Manager - Take a Hike Breslin!

Paul Potts is such an inspiration, singing Nessun Dorma on Britain's Got Talent and winning a 100 pound contract from the growly Simon. A phone salesman, 36 years old who dreamed of one day being able to do what he was meant to do. Bullied as a youth. An incredible voice. He takes on Pavarotti's signature song. He has never had a voice lesson. He is going to use some of the money to pay off massive medical debts from an illness.

Is there something about this story you don't 'get'?

And here comes Pavarotti's former manager, Herb Breslin said (according to the above article):
“Nobody can sing Nessun Dorma and really do it justice unless with it, they have five to 10 years of experience. If they want to have a totally inexperienced, untrained voice sing Nessun Dorma and the audience is going to fall off its feet, it’s ridiculous. But that’s the way things are in the modern age.”

Come on, Mr. Breslin. Even Ask Jeeves has changed!

ThinkFashion writer says it best: "What [Breslin] doesn't realize is that the phenomenal thing about Mr. Potts is not his perfect voice (although he does have a perfect voice in my opinion) - it's his incredible story, his humble attitude and his raw talent for touching people's hearts when he sings."

Now if that isn't about emotional intelligence I don't know what is. Reality-testing ... flexiblity ... the most marvelous things in this world are not logical and defy rational explanation. You also have to 'get' what's going on. There's no analogy I can give that doesn't sound wrong, but I'll forge ahead ... this is saying that it's amazing Dolly Parton is a star when she's so short, or that the only reason Edith Piaf was a superstar was because she could sing ... or going to MacDonald's and complaining about the service.

Or that thinking we the people, when so overwhelmed with this man's story are interested in whether he can hit 9 high Cs like Pavarotti. ThinkFashion says "some people can't enjoy other people's happiness" and that's what happens when you don't get on the bandwagon and for the wrong reasons.

I love this man. I was overwhelmed at his COURAGE. How would you like to walk out there and tell Simon Cowell you're doing to "sing opera"? Nobody can sing opera. Didn't he know that? I was afraid for him. There's nothing worse than opera when it's not done right, and you certainly can't do it without formal training. It's like how can you mess up doing the Texas two-step but for heaven's sake don't get out there and try the Tango until you've been doing it, and with that partner, for 5 years.

Watch Paul Potts here and get out your tissues: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA .

Vincero! Vincero! Vincero!

And incidentally, this man has already introduced a host of people to opera and Puccini. I've been checking the blogs and keep reading "I'd never heard opera before ..." Check out our Club Vivo Per Lei site. This is the kind of joyous total situation we can never get enough of.

BTW, can I just say Puccini rocks! :-)

How to Write CVs and Cover Letters

THESE ARE TAKEN FROM REAL CVs AND COVER LETTERS
I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet pogroms.

Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

It's best for employers that I not work with people.

Let's meet , so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience.

I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.

I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

I am loyal to my employer at all costs....Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.

My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.

I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.

Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.

Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.

Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job.

Marital status: often. Children: various.

The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

Finished eighth in my class of ten.

References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me.

_______________________________

Too funny. But not really. I can't help but comment that this one It's best for employers that I not work with people. is perfectly written, logical, and intelligent (IQ), and just has that real touch of low EQ combined with high IQ one sometimes sees -- naive, "true," unaware of the import of what he/she is saying.

Ah well, forgive me, this is an Emotional Intelligence site and sometimes I have to put in a segue.

WHAT'S NEW AROUND HERE?
The Budget EQ Course - an EQ certification is so obviously a good thing to include on your resume or CV, we've created a budget version. Just as good, and fast, effective and affordable. Now there's no excuse not to take it. GO HERE.

The Voice of Experience

People are trying to define what it is about Edith Piaf. The movie La Vie en Rose is bringing Edith Piaf to the attention of many for the first time. The critics on RottenTomatoes called her voice "a soaring deep-throated voice that came to symbolize a certain kind [how French] of tenacious humanity, a willingness to go on no matter what the odds."

Jazz buff Maureen Murray talked about someone singing who had "been there."

Watch Odette, now 77 years old, when she starts to talk about if she had listened to her mother ...

We can save ourselves some grief (and difficult first-hand experience) by listening to "the voice of experience." And I think when we hear it, we know it. This is the essence of coaching.



The person who posted this video wrote: And before Janis Joplin was singing Down on Me, there was Odetta in 1959 recording it on vinyl for Janis to take it from. There was Odetta soulfully growling Poor Little Jesus and singing Masters of War with force and conviction even beyond Dylan's. "When I was a young girl" is another folk classic I first heard onthe LP Folksy Nina (Simone) . Every 60's folk singer owes a debt to Odetta. Thanks for concert.

Peggy Noonan, We Need to Talk

OpinionJournal - Peggy Noonan

I have been known to say that emotional intelligence is good to know because we all dream in the same language.

I hope you will read this beautiful article. For one thing, it is very gently written on a very very controversial issue. For another, as she says, how do we comfort someone (instruct, advise, educate, train, employ) someone when there is no language in comon.

On of the EQ competencies is vocabulary for emotional expression. I've seen it in multicultural offices, where the person has become offended and uses the word "respeto" or
"rispetto," and it has not been understood -- either the word, because our word respect ends in a hard KT sound and we don't roll the RRRR. The offence was not intentional, the misunderstanding is escalating ... we need a common language.

Noonan says many good things:

...air conditioning. I had forgotten long ago to be grateful for it.

So I turned around and went back. I wanted to say something--I don't know what, find out where she was from, encourage her. I said hello, and she looked at me and I patted her arm and said, "Happy Fourth of July, my friend." She was startled and then shy, and she smiled and made a sound, and I realized: She doesn't speak English. "God bless you," I said, because a little while in America and you know the word God just as 10 minutes in Mexico and you learn the word Dios. And we both smiled and nodded and I left.

I went into Bloomingdale's and wrote these words: "We must speak the same language so we can hearten each other."

Read the article, it's a good one.

To increase your EQ, take THE EQ COURSE and get coaching (email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . It's a win-win. Terms are flexible, user-friendly, and designed to make your life easier, not harder.

Visit me on the web at www.susandunn.cc and refer your friends.

BBC News: Pupils to get lessons in emotional and social skills (EQ)

BBC NEWS | UK | Education | Pupils to get lessons in respect

WHY WAIT ANY LONGER TO LEARN EQ AND TEACH IT TO YOUR KIDS?

According to a BBC article, the Schools in England are to get £13.7m more to teach pupils manners, respect and good behaviour. New Children's Secretary Ed Balls wants pupils in all primary and secondary schools to have lessons in social and emotional skills by 2011.

It's already having an impact says the UK, being taught in schools already.

This is on top of the £7m already committed to fund the Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning (Seal) programme the government already has funded.

What are you doing to increase your social and emotional skills, so that you can teach you children. Yes, these important skills can be learned, and can be taught at home. Take THE EQ COURSE and buy my ebook, "How to Develop YOur CHild's EQ".

Did Warren Buffett Issue A Death Threat

Warren Buffett Issues Death Threat

Well that's an eye-catching headline -- Warren Buffett Issues Death Threat, and I "bit" just like everyone else, I'm sure.

Lots of "lessons" here. If you read the article you will see that Buffett declined to mention stocks he was investing in .. presumably knowing it would change the progress of the stock just by the mention. Presumably true, it being Warren Buffettm oft known as the world's greatest investor. Allegedly he wrote, "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you."

The article goes on to call it "attention" and to talk about what happens to stocks that are getting "attention."

Of course this "attention" is going to generate emotion, yes?

You might think about this is terms of your home and your office, and in terms of emotional intelligence.

Let's say, for instance, someone makes a "mistake." What sort of attention you pay to this will make a big difference, along with what sort of emotiona you generate around the incident. The person could end up:

--feeling stupid for having made one mistake
--discovering that the way to get attention from you (the boss, the partner, or the parent) is to do something like make a mistake
--they could feel affirmed that you treat the 'mistake' as a small thing, not likely to reoccur and nothing pertaining to the person's ability in general
--the may decide that you are too difficult to work with, because of your extreme reaction to one mistake, and make a note to look elsewhere

ATTENTION is something we all crave. Make sure what you pay attention to brings the results you are looking for. That's part of EQ and part of Intentionality.

Coaching

WHAT TO DO IN JULY? the dog days of summer ...

PLUG IN TO THE SOURCE -Coaching and training with Susan Dunn, The Emotional Intelligence Coach

Emotional Intelligence coaches will be in demand as we face a growing aging population worldwide.

To become a certified emotional intelligence coach, or personal life coach / wellness coach with emotional intelligence specialty, email me @ sdunn@susandunn.cc . This is the No. 1 rated coaching certification program you can afford. NO RESIDENCY REQUIREMENT. We realize traveling to a seminar is a waste of your time and money, and forces you to remain at the level of the lowest person in the group. We offer individualized training.

Latest research on the "use it or lose it" brain theory has proven what we all know through common sense, i.e., emotional intelligence. Mental exercise does us good just like physical exercise does.

The study, reported HERE: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16284851 cost $15 million was was funded in part by the National Intitute on Aging and is coming out in the Journal of American Medical Association today.

Age-related mental decline will affect 84 million people worldwide by 2040, and we're trying to learn all we can about learning all we can.

Mental decline includes senility, Alzheimers, loss of short-term memory, dementia, natural decline, stroke brain damage and other related loss and injury.

We know that combining lifelong learning with play and work is the key to resilience (see Al Siebert's work in this area).

Neuroaffective science is what emotional intelligence is all about. Sign up for The EQ Course and learn more about mental ability, increase your brain power, fight the effects of aging and mental decline.

_____________________
Arbonne's DefenseBuilder bolsters your immune system, the only defense we have against viruses like Nile, AIDS, Bird flu, and airborne tuberculosis. Get started today building your immune system with Arbonne.
Susan Dunn is an independent Arbonne consultant. Shop with her safely online at http://susandunn.myarbonne.com/ .

What personal life coaching can do for you

Susan Dunn Personal Coaching

When you're ready for Dunn personal coaching, you're ready to make some serious changes in your life. Coaching isn't just for pro sports figures, and CEOs making 6 figures -- it's for anyone who wants success, in professional or personal life.

With Susan Dunn Personal Life Coaching you can make the strides you've been eager to. Now is the time. But just like sports training and working out, you have to have the right equipment and the right team backing you all the way. That's why there's Susan Dunn's Personal Life coaching.


You can achieve more than you thought possible when you have the right combination going for you. It's like a body makeover, you'll discover muscles you never had and build strength where you really need it. It doesn't matter where you live, we have coached clients worldwide (just to name a few - India Singapore, all over the US, Scotland, Wales, the UK, Malaysia, the Phillipines, China and more).


WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT


A clear path and strategy
Importan feedback
The support and resources you need
Email support at your finger tips, Internet and phone
No contract
Unlike trying to do this on your own, you get the feedback that makes the difference
You might not be a celebrity -- yet -- but you can treat yourself like one.
You don't have to waste your time in traffic - enjoy all the benefits from the privacy of your own home of office

Sign up now. Call for a personal consultation to see if Personal Life Coaching with Susan Dunn is for you. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc or call (817) 734-1471.


Susan's website is: http://www.susandunn.cc/ .


Susan's company provides personal life coaching - career and personal life, emotional intelligence, resilience, wholeness, wellness, balance, parenting -- worldwide, at your convenience. Give it a try.

Dating Success Manual for Women

At last there's help.











DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN*
by Susan Dunn, MA
Attract Your Ideal Partner (and keep him) Expert



Are you trying to date and getting sick of the runaround? I serve as Attract Your Dream Partner EXPERT for a major website. I know what you're going through because I've listened to hundreds of women trying to figure out what they're doing wrong who were ready to give up. This ebook provides the guidance you need to make a success of it.


There's nothing like experience. I've heard the same things over and over, so I know what does not work, and what does work. Let me make it easy for you.


Don't give up! Now there's help.


Order DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN - newly revised using information gathered from my experience helping women find, attract and keep the man of their dreams.



*special section on Internet dating -- the odds are in your favor, ladies, when you date on the Internet -- provided you know what you're doing. We show you how.

Susan is Attract your dream mate expert for a major website. She is consistently ratef "best of the best" with 10s in all cetegories. She has interviewed hundreds of woman in order to create this book so you can really get help.

Become a coach

WHAT TO DO IN JULY? the dog days of summer ...

PLUG IN TO THE SOURCE -Coaching and training with Susan Dunn, The Emotional Intelligence Coach

Emotional Intelligence coaches will be in demand as we face a growing aging population worldwide.

To become a certified emotional intelligence coach, or personal life coach / wellness coach with emotional intelligence specialty, email me @ sdunn@susandunn.cc . This is the No. 1 rated coaching certification program you can afford. NO RESIDENCY REQUIREMENT. We realize traveling to a seminar is a waste of your time and money, and forces you to remain at the level of the lowest person in the group. We offer individualized training.

Latest research on the "use it or lose it" brain theory has proven what we all know through common sense, i.e., emotional intelligence. Mental exercise does us good just like physical exercise does.

The study, reported HERE: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16284851 cost $15 million was was funded in part by the National Intitute on Aging and is coming out in the Journal of American Medical Association today.

Age-related mental decline will affect 84 million people worldwide by 2040, and we're trying to learn all we can about learning all we can.

Mental decline includes senility, Alzheimers, loss of short-term memory, dementia, natural decline, stroke brain damage and other related loss and injury.

We know that combining lifelong learning with play and work is the key to resilience (see Al Siebert's work in this area).

Neuroaffective science is what emotional intelligence is all about. Sign up for The EQ Course and learn more about mental ability, increase your brain power, fight the effects of aging and mental decline.

_____________________
Arbonne's DefenseBuilder bolsters your immune system, the only defense we have against viruses like Nile, AIDS, Bird flu, and airborne tuberculosis. Get started today building your immune system with Arbonne.
Susan Dunn is an independent Arbonne consultant. Shop with her safely online at http://susandunn.myarbonne.com/ .

Take the EQ Poll - we want to know

WE WANT TO KNOW What would you like to know more about? Why EQ is important? What coaching is like? How to develop your emotional intelligence? How does EQ impact IQ? Courses to take view results

Copy MySpace for Better Personal and Customer Relations

HOW DO YOU PLEASE YOUR CLIENTS AND CUSTOMERS?
OW DO YOU PLEASE YOUR LOVED ONES?

BE QUICK CHANGE ARTIST

We could all take a lesson from MySpace.

Why do users say they love it?

They keep doing what everyone really wants, and it happens instantly.

No sooner do you articulate it, than it appears ... now isn't that the heart's delight of all of us?

It changes all the time keeping up with what we want. Sometimes it's great new things you couldn't even have thought of.

There's always something new and it's all good stuff.

Learn how to be more flexible while still retaining your authenticity with THE EQ COURSE.

One-time coaching sessions always available, as-needed or scheduled. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Ways to stay safe on the Internet

Here are some ways to stay safe on the Internet.

We're all concerned about identity fraud, and viruses on our computers. Of course a good anti-virus security program is the beginning, but even that can't protect you if you keep opening emails you shouldn't. Here are some tips to keep in mind about emails not to mess with. Just say NO!

1. The first clue is often a misspelling.

Since I coach people on writing and marketing on the Internet, this gives credence to my advice that you are judged by how well you write -- grammar and spelling included. That having been said, either the people who send these don't know how to spell, or they are purposely using misspelling to get around spam filters, etc. Whichever reason -- or another reason -- if there's a misspelling, just delete it.

2. The address of the email (as it appears in your inbox) may contain the names of people you send emails to, distorted, combined, or in a different order.

Let's say your partner is Paul, your sister is Amanda, and you bank at Kiwibank. Expect to see emails pop up addressed to Paul Amanda or Amanda Kiwi or Paul. Often two names are used.

3. Don't click any links in the email.

If you want to investigate, do not click on the link, just right click over it and "view source." Look through that screen. You will often see a completely different link. It may contain the words of the place allegedly contacting you, but not as the URL. For instance http://surf-turf.com/paypal . (That's just an example). Do not ever open a file with .exe on the end. Sometimes you can also right-click and check "properties."

4. Do not reply TO the email to ask them about it. Do NOT reply to the email.

Go to the alleged vendor using their correct email address, if you are curious. Clicking reply gives information about your computer.

5. You cannot tell for sure by looking at the header of an email where it is from.
IT pros inform us that IP addresses change. People can invent any email address, including your own, and make it look (to the naive person) that it came from there. It takes a court order to get the IP provider to give over such information. Just let it go. Common sense would tell you that anyone could use your computer at work, that since the IT guy you deal with in another state can "enter" your computer to do things, so could someone else ...

6. If it's too good to be true, it is.

This includes winning the lottery in any country on the planet, or being left the estate of someone anywhere in the world.

7. You will get more than one.

They tend to come in batches. You may receive 2 or 3 in the same day, addressed the same way and saying the same thing. Often this will occur when you do something different. For instance, I just emailed a new client in New Zealand yesterday for the first time, and today I am receiving spoofs from a bank with the ending .com.nz. Checking the source code I could see that it was not from the bank which is not fictitious On their legitimate site I found their contact email, forwarded the email to them without opening any links, and received a notice back from their security dept that it is "phishing", to ignore it, and what remedies to take if I had not ignored it.
8. Anybody wanting to transfer money to your account.

Often these will come from a "solicitator" or "attorney," or just from an individual.

9. Know your vendors.

I think it's safe to say -- and PayPal and Amazon and eBay generally say it -- they aren't going to be writing you to (1) change your password, (2) update your files, (3) confirm your account codes ... or anything else.

10. Send these emails, commonly called "phishing" and "spoofs" to your trusted vendor.
There is a spoof@____ for many companies, including ebay, PayPal and so forth. Forward the email there without opening it and they will write you back informing you if the email is a "spoof" or a "phish" and telling you what to do if you have already clicked a link, etc. (DON'T DO THAT - email them first if in doubt.) You can also go to a company's legitimate website (assuming there is one) and get a customer email address there. We hope that by forwarding these spoofs and phishes, the companies that are doing honest business can track down the perpetrators. But at any rate, keep yourself safe!