EQ and the Generation Gaps

My sister gave me a crossword puzzle for Xmas and so I got into them again. What a surprise. Now the clues have double meanings. Now it can mean 2,3 words. I remember when I took a graduate Linguistics course, hearing about Noam Chomsky, and the concept of a dictionary and how it is always evolving. So, you gotta stay current. But -- say I -- as with that childhood rhyme about friendship (Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold.) - it's good to become versant in many different kinds of ways -- language, culture, manners. In today's diverse world, it's a necessity.

Since I just moved from Texas to the D. C. area, I am experiencing culture shock. Not that I haven't lived other places, but I was 20+ years in Texas, most of it in San Antonio which has its own little culture. In addition, I do some contract work in Prince William County, which has a different demographic, and also "country," as in Haymarket, Va.

It's been fun learning. I've moved a lot in my lifetime and learned all about it as a kid. Watch. Listen. Figure out what's going on and then figure out how much you want to bend. I also lived in the north as a kid and summer-ed in Texas. Got it wrong, and got made fun of in each place. i.e., in Texas you HAD to way "Yes M'am" and "Yes Sir" -- or you would -- gasp -- get a paddling from the principal. In the north when I said it, they thought I was sucking up to the teacher. I only did it once. I learned early about - or you cultural relativism.

Some examples

A man who had been a pilot in the Air Force and therefore been all around the world, but has lived in Dover, DE for decades, told me that he liked the way I made eye contact. He said that was one thing he liked "about Texas women" which he had noticed when in training at Lackland, and also up in Waco. He said, "The women here look all around," and demonstrated to me. Will I change that? I guess I'll tame it down. That would be smart.

Getting ready to make a purchase at Sheetz in Harymarket, I walked up to the empty country. A man walked up to me and said, "I can tell you aren't from around here. Around here, you form one line." Will I change that? Unfortunately that applies only to the convenience stores in Haymarket. But in Haymarket, I'll do it.

The Koreans here mix the food in big bowls on the floor of the kitchen, sometimes sitting down. Will I do that? Nope! They expect you to take your shoes off when you enter. Yeah, that's okay, except that I researched that long ago, and sure, it works about mud on your shoes, but thye natural oils on your feet also stain and wear carpeting. That's why I got tile in the last house I had!

Honking on the highway is frequent and aggressive in Texas, Not so here. Do I miss it? Not a bit. In fact it's amazing how much stress-from-driving it removes to not hear honking. Good idea. Smart people.

DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS? Heck, don't mess with Maryland. Sign at a convenience store- don't litter. Fine is $1500 and suspension of driver's license. No wonder it's so clean around here. Will I adhere. Doh. I won't be littering in Maryland.

Men in the country area open the doors for women. Non-Anglo males in Falls Church and Chevy Chase open the doors for women. YOu catch my drift?

All my time in Manassas, Va., I've seen one man in a full suit with the tie and polished leather "Daddy shoes" and the whole bit.

The C&W station here plays the Star Spangled Banner at noon.

Sign in the ATM at the bank in Chevy Chase offers you choices of English, Spanish, Arabic or French.

I spent half my life looking for a free, free tennis court. In Manasses and Dale City, I have never seen anyone ON a tennis court. They are all, always, available.

I am preparing myself for the fact that all the public swimming pools are shut down at Labor Day, and I won't be swimming in my pool or my friends' pools. Wait a minute, I don't have a pool, and neither does anyone else.

In this case, the eternal 3 options apply -- change the situation, leave, or change your attitude,

My mom always used to tell me, when I would come to her puzzled by something that had -- yet again -- happened at school, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

Share your thoughts on this!

Psychiatrist Tests, Slays Suspect: A Cautionary Tale

When the 2 wrong people get together - from "Actually It Is Your Parents Fault," a book by Munching and Katz

Suicide via Psychiatrist .. or taking justice into your own hands

Sounds like something out of one of those 58 spin-offs of LAW & ORDER, I know, but it's true: a court-appointed psychiatrist, Manuel Poggi, spent 4 days giving a suspected murderer named Diaz a battery of tests, and then took his own belt and strangled Diaz, who didn't resist. "I had to do it for the good of society," Poggi told a news conference held in the police precinct where he'd committed the crime. "The hour had come to apply justice," he said. Poggie told reporters he'd been driven by frustration into killing Diaz, suspected in 8 grizzly murders, whom he described as "a monster of superior intelligence."

Ironically, there were police officers right outside the room where Poggi and Diaz were talking, put there by the head of the police homicide division, for Poggi's protection. The fact that Diaz didn't call out or try to make some noise that would alert the guards convinced at least one police official that Diaz had actually induced Poggi to murder him. In other words, the officvial believed that Diaz had committed suicide-by-psychiatrist.

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Take a look/feel at how "inducable" you are. And how you may be inducing others to do things. This is the SELF-AWARENESS we talk about in emotional intelligence. In fact it is the CORNERSTONE of emotional intelligence.
For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc

How to Comfort Someone Whose Child Has Died

Chettie blowing a kiss. Chester died April 1, 1999, at the age of 21. It could have been yesterday.

HOW TO COMFORT SOMEONE WHOSE CHILD HAS DIED
by Susan Dunn
Look for my book on the death of a child due to come out next year.

When a friend suffers the loss of a child, we don't know how to comfort them. Our first thought is usually, "I don't know what to say." When a child is lost, we all suffer, and it's particularly hard for other parents to deal with.

"Friends would cross the street to avoid me," one client told me.

What to say and how to help the grieving parents is a challenge.

I had first-hand experience with this when my son died several years ago. Let me share some thoughts from that perspective.

There are some things that aren't helpful:

•Asking the person what you can do to help, or any question, is beyond their capacity. People devastated by grief can't make the simplest decision, and they still have to make burial arrangements, etc. They are only capable of going through the motions. Nothing more. One foot in front of the other.

•Saying most of the things they say in movies --he's in a better place, it was God's will, your memories will comfort you, time will heal. They make no sense at the time. The person is trying to figure out something incomprehensible and doesn't have space to fit in other ideas.

•Assuming the grief-stricken person needs to express their emotions. It's all the person can do to contain the emotions. It's self-protection to shut down, and it's necessary.

•Trying ... trying anything. The grieving person feels the emotional pull when they're already on their last nerve and have nothing to give ... 'this person is trying to make me feel better, make me cry, make me explain something. I'm supposed to do something and I can't.' It's a fragile state.

•Thinking the grieving person needs to do something. To the grieving person, it feels like pressure, it makes absolutely no sense, and often it isn't 'needed' anyway. "You must eat something," elicits "Why?" You can't imagine how you're bouncing pebbles off a distant planet. Words, I'm sorry to say, really aren't of much use.

•References to other deaths. It's just a time not to do that, like sending a book about coping with the death of a child. The person needs not to be a part of a group -- widows who've lost husbands, mothers who've lost sons ... It needs to stand alone.

What, then, can you do?

Burying your own child has been called "a perversion of nature," and is that difficult to get your mind around. What parent has ever considered having to do this? Most of us care more about our children than life itself, and we cannot afford to entertain that thought, so there is no preparation. It's something we sincerely hope will happen to someone else, not us, if it must happen.

We expect our parents to die in our lifetime; it's difficult, but we've been expecting it.

Here are some of the things that helped me through. I can't say they comforted me, as for a time there was no way to comfort me, and I guess that's a point to be made. You don't even want to be comforted. What you want is your child back.

Understand I'm speaking from my personal experience. It's a terrible insult to imagine what someone else is feeling at this time, or what might help.

•My younger sister came to the Memorial Service and just made small talk. When she left, to go back home, she shook her head and said, "Oh Susan." She left a tape by Ian Tyson on my bedside table ... rock with me Jesus help me bear this heavy load, don't let her slip, don't let her slide ... all cowboys cross the Great Divide.

•After the dinner after the Service, folks came back to my house. My niece sat beside me and stroked my hair while she talked with everyone, so I didn't have to.

•A colleague at work met me coming out of the elevator my first day back to work. He looked up, then looked down with tears in his eyes and said, "I don't know what to say," and walked away with his shoulders bent. He had a child the same age as mine. It was thoughtful of him not to stick around and have me feel the need to comfort him.

•My friend who said, "Give me a list of people to call. I'll tell them for you."

•My boss said, when I returned to work, "The only reason I'm letting you be here is that it's maybe slightly better than being home." He gave me little things to do, to occupy my mind, but nothing requiring judgment.

•My twin sister called me every 6 weeks and said she was flying out for a visit. (Didn't ask, said.) She would show up at the house and just putter ... cook, clean, garden ... She didn't disturb me.

•When she answered the phone, I heard her say, "She can't talk now. She's seeking the mercy of sleep."

•My friend, who'd lost her 8 month old son ... when I asked her "How do I live with this?" she said, "I don't know. Yours is different. Mine was [just a baby] but yours was [21] and the longer you have them the worse it is." What a magnanimous statement.

•My friend who wrote, "From now on, for me, every tree will be missing a leaf."

•My son's friend who told me, when she heard about it, "That's really [expletive]."

•Between visits, my sister sent me homemade chocolate chip cookies, something very symbolic between the two of us. Mother ... home ... happier times. They arrived in shoe boxes, wrapped in plain brown paper. It's a time to be basic.

•The people who talked about how wonderful my son was, only at a distance ... by email, or letters.

•The friend who gave me a gift certificate for 10 massages.

•People who would, and still do, speak his name.

•Friends who remember the anniversary of his death. For most of us, it will never recede in time. It could be yesterday. It could even be today.

In the acute state of grief, the person can't think, and there's no emotional space. What isn't occupied by grief, is occupied by anger, which the person is trying not to vent against an innocent person. Just be around them, lovingly. Words aren't absorbed. There's authenticity in saying "I don't know what to say," when you don't.

Avoid trying to pull their emotions out, or to put yours on them. (Some people do express them.) Don't make any cognitive or emotional demands. If you can, remove cognitive tasks, i.e., tell them you're picking them up for dinner at Chili's, Tuesday at 6, and to wear jeans.

A gentle touch means a lot. Accept how they're being at the time. Understand that for them to respond is asking them to produce energy they don't have. Even the most gracious of us are hard-put to be gracious at such a time.

Avoid any references to "time." Time may heal this, time may not. You don't know, and the person isn't sure at all.

Chances are good "with time" your efforts will be appreciated and remembered, even if they didn't appear to hit the mark at the time. I'm not sure there is "a mark" to hit. Do the best you can, from your heart. Sincere, heartfelt intentions speak much louder than actual words.

(c) 2010 Susan Dunn, All rights reserved.

Toby Keith - A Little Too Much Amygdala

We've had opera on here,R&B, now a little more C&W.

Here is Toby Keith's "A Little Too Late." A story of the amgdala hidden in here. Some "intermittent explosive disorder"?

At the end, he does a "j.k." but -- and not to belabor what is 'just a song,' too much of this in a relationship will wear the other person out.



How do you learn to manager your anger? To live with an over-active amygdala? If females had written the shrink-terminology, THIS would be "hysteria" and "drama." Yes, guys do it too. And anger has beenc called "the all-purpose male emotion."

Take THE EQ COURSE and find out more. Email met at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Ol' Man River andThings

OL' MAN RIVER
We sweat and straing...body all achin' and racked with pain ...

This painting is not of workers on the Mississipi. It is of workers on the Volga, but one of my favorite paintings and it gets the point across.

I play the piano most nights in the lobby of a building here in D.C. Chevy Chase, to be exact. I have many books, one of which is called, THE BEST SONGS EVER. I love to play from it,and the people love to hear all their old favorites. For instance, I played Mona Lisa tonight and a woman clapped and said it was one of her favorites. I've been surprised and delighted to find out who wrote the lyrics and music to the old favorites ...more on that later.

Tonight I came across OL' MAN RIVER (Kern and Hammerstein). I hadn't heard it in years. I don't always read the lyrics as I play, but in this case I did,and I was so touched. Maybe because it's Friday night -- end of a work week -- and I heard a lot of stories this week of pain, suffering, and questioning.

What I hear a lot in my business is "Why." Why me? Why did it have to happen? Why doesn't God stop them? That sort of thing. It may be attached to God, or Allah, or Buddha ... but it is often there when times get tough.

Frank sings it for us -- "He don't say nothin' ... but he must know something." The expressions on Frank's face are incredible. Nothing shows emotion like blue eyes and he was, after all ... Watching this made me wonder what Frank Sinatra might have been through that we know nothing about. He don't say nothin', but he must know something -- Frank -- to put that much emotion into this song. Watch himstarting at 1.25. And at the end.

Here's Ole Blue Eyes ...



EMAIL ME FOR COACHING - sdunn@susandunn.cc . Long-distance or at my office - Chevy Chase, Md. and Manassas, Va.

I love this video because I'm a coach - Toby Keith's HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW.

Combine this -- "How Do You Like Me Now" with the Forbes video (http://video.forbes.com/fvn/personalbest/toby-keith-lessons-in-success) where Toby Keith talks about his rise to fame.

TOBY KEITH MADE $52 million IN '08 ACCORDING TO FORBES.



POINTERS

He attributes his success to hard work
He mentions a teacher who identified his talent (that's what we coaches do!)
The importance of finding out what you do well -- and each of us does something well

If you're struggling with rejection, can't seem to find work that you're good at/enjoy, are stuck, just got dumped in an email by the man of your dreams who led you on, feel like everyone's ship is coming in except yours, ..let me coach you.

LET ME COACH YOU SO YOU CAN SAY 'HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?'

How to Handle a PR Disaster with EQ

Emotional Intelligence involves, and/or IS, a lot of PR (public relations0>

From an article in ENTREPRENEUR about how to handle getting 'slammed' when you are a small business. Ronn Torossian reminds us that you can move faster as a small business -- or an individual -- and this is an asset -- if you know what you are doing.

TIPS:
1. Can't bury your head in a business crisis
2. Come up with a message about what went wrong and how to address it
3. DON'T WAIT TO APOLOGIZE
4. Communicate that message to everyone who's been affected, in person, one-by-one if possible
5. Do NOT pass things on through a lawyer or spokesperson. Delegating this usually means more disaster
6. Work on your delivery -- what you say in public can be more inportant that what you are actually saying. [HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS??]
7. Compare Tiger Woods' apoplogy with Clinton's.
8. Do everything you can to make yourself and your audience more comfortable9. "Speak compassionately and honestly, and don't pretend to be on a higher level than your sudience. It's the best way to put people at ease."
9. Be resigned to some fallout.

What you are doing here is damage control, and this is a serious emotional intelligence to master.

Got caught staring at another woman when you didn't think your fiance was looking?
Forget to pick up your neighbor's kids at school?
Late with a report at work?

There are so many occasions where we need finesse. Let me coach you on these skills. It's always good to have a Plan B, but it is BETTER to KNOW that you MUST HAVE a Plan B. Nobody's perfect.

P.S. Notice how BP has handled the BP oil spill. One radio ad that I think is particularly effective is the guy WITH THE APPROPRIATE ACCENT who says he's from the Gulf, cares about it, is in charge, and will do what needs doing.

Study other! Get coaching! It pays off.

What kind of manager/boss gets the most out of his/her employees?

I COACH EXECUTIVES, ATTORNEYS AND PHYSICIANS.
Latest offering - EQ for the Disruptive Physician


Studies revealthe same traits over and over, and yet it is so hard for people to grasp.

Here it is again, so listen up!

When people are asked what traits and qualities they admire in their mentors and leaders, the typical responses are that they are caring, engaging, authentic, positive thinkers, creative, patient, empathetic, charismatic and thoughtful.

These are also competencies, traits or qualities that can be learned. For instance, if you are a parent, you are fully aware that you learned PATIENCE when you became a parent. Can "charisma" be taught? Yes. These are all emotional intelligence competencies, and I have worked with many people in these areas. You can only make it so far in a career field, or in relationships, if you do not have these qualities.

Let me help you with the EQ course, coaching,mentoring, or a seminar in the D. C. area. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information. I have coached people all over the world in these important emotional intelligence competencies.

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE TRAITS IS AN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE COMPETENCY THAT CAN BE LEARNED.

Is a Disruptive Doctor making your Work Environment Hell?

I hate to say it, but ...




No, the person I was talking to today did! She's a counselor, and when I told her "5 minutes of anger suppresses your immune system for up to 8 hours", she said she'd never heard that.

That's the "thing" I use to convince the people who get off on being angry, and are such a source of stress to other people. They're ruining their own health too, of course, but they aren't aware of that.

My EQ program is full of empirical (researched) data that is impossible to refute, and will convince the most cynical person. Um, I have worked with disruptive doctors, annoying lawyers, meddlesome daughters-in-law ... teachers who think they know it all. These people who can't manage their anger and really don't want to, can make life hell for the rest of us.

I also offer the highly-acclaimed DIFFICULT PEOPLE course. It might be just the thing for you.

Email me for more information. sdunn@susandunn.cc
I work internationally by phone and email, and my core courses are on the Internet. I also have offices in Manassas, VA and Chevy Chase MD for your convenience.

Losing Your Composure

Here it is again, in some advice about dating men. This is about the emotional intelligence competency of self-awareness.

Yes, it's bad enough to lose your composure, but it's really bad to lose your composure and have no idea why. This particularly comes up in pressure situations such as job interviews, relationships discussions, and dating.

If you find yourself losing your composure
too often, letting your emotions take over and
regretting it too often after the fact... and
you're starting to recognize that not all of
what you're doing and choosing to do with a man
is totally CONSCIOUS... then it's time you took
the time and the steps to take care of what's
going on INSIDE YOU first.

If you'd like to increase your COMPOSURE, you need to increase the emotional intelligence competency of self-awareness. Let me coach you. Call me at 817-734-1471 or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc and let's get started now. I am a certified EQ (emotional intelligence) coach.

Tight Job Market - all the more need for emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is in the news more all the time. Those of us who were early adopters know why. With the economy in the shape it's in, there is more stress for everyone AND there is more competition for the jobs that are available. As we've said all along, if two people have equal intelligence, skills, and experience, which one is going to get hired?

The answer: The one YOU would want to work with.

Which means the one with the higher emotional intelligence.

Let me help you improve yours. Here are some of the complaints that HR people have when they interview candidates:

** They act like a robot.
** She got hysterical just in an interview session.
** She got so nervous when I asked her questions, I wondered how she would make it through the interview.
** Even with simple questions, he got defensive. I couldn't imagine asking our employees to work with him.
** He was abrasive. I would not ask one of our managers to have him in their department.
** Looked good on paper. In person she was just plain out annoying.

Email me for coaching at sdunn@susandunn.cc and let's get started. This tight market means you need help with stress AND with interview techniques. Let's say personality, and emotional intelligence.

About Expectations and the Family Vacation

Are you getting ready to take the kids on a vacation? If so, check out my article "About Expectations and the Family Vacation."

I offer coaching on most issues (career, personal, relationship, transition, emotional intelligence) and also train and certify you to be a coach. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information.

Prefrontal and anterior cingulate cortices which play key roles in vigilance and scepticism

HEALERS ... PARENTS ... DOCTORS ... TEACHERS

Parts of the prefrontal and anterior cingulate cortices, which play key roles in vigilance and scepticism when judging the truth and importance of what people say, were deactivated when the subjects listened to a supposed healer. Activity diminished to a lesser extent when the speaker was supposedly a normal Christian [sic] (Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience)

Schjødt says that this explains why certain individuals can gain influence over others, and concludes that their ability to do so depends heavily on preconceived notions of their authority and trustworthiness.

It's not clear whether the results extend beyond religious leaders, but Schjødt speculates that brain regions may be deactivated in a similar way in response to doctors, parents and politicians.

St. Patrick's Day in Chicago - YES!

Scawy Blizzard

THE STEPS I JUST SHOVELED.

There's a blizzard here in D. C. right now. I just moved here for this (hah!) and every time we head out to shovel, I think of all the times I've read in the paper, or seen news stories, about people having heart attacks while shoveling snow.

The worry is enough to give you a heart attack.

Here are some excerpts from an interesting article called DEATH BY DRIVEWAY? To read the full article, go here: http://www.slate.com/id/2244173?nav=wp .

Journalists are writing stories about shoveling-induced heart attacks.
"Shoveling Snow Can Cause Heart Problems" (WHIZ News);
"shoveling snow can be incredibly dangerous for someone with a cardiac condition" (Staunton News Leader);
"heart attacks among shovelers are a major concern" (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette).

Is there a real connection between shoveling and cardiac trouble? they ask. And the answer is:

Studies published in the Lancet and the American Journal of Cardiology, among other outlets, show that the incidence of heart failure goes up in the week after a blizzard.

But ... and there's always a but, they add:

It's possible that snow-shoveling is no more dangerous than any other physically draining activity—that the same individuals who die while clearing their driveways could just as well succumb to a vigorous jog. The post-blizzard spike could be attributed to the fact that sedentary people with potential heart problems have no choice but to engage in heart-pounding work with a shovel, whereas other aerobic activities (at other times of year) can be put off or skipped altogether.

How to Reduce Depression Rates? Know Some EQ.

How to reduce depression rates in hospitals?

According to an article in softpedia.com:

Norwegian experts argue that training in emotional intelligence could make healthcare personnel more likely to recognize such conditions, and treat them accordingly, PhysOrg reports.

Read the full article HERE.

For training in emotional intelligence, call Susan Dunn, MA, QMHP, at 817-734-1471. Long-distance training, on-site, international, group, individual.

What Kind of Person will Have the Most Successful Relationships

The researchers’ broad conclusion is that a child who can take in social cues, recognize their meaning and respond appropriately, and who is capable of “self-regulating,” or controlling behavior, is more likely to have successful relationships.

There's more to emotional intelligence than this, but it's a start. I teach emotional intelligence. If you're interested in improving yours, or that of your chlid, contact me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . I work long distance, all over the world. I also have trained and certified coaches all over the US and the world, so can help you locate one near you.

The future of your child is at stake, so don't wait. Contact me now.

P.S. And don't forget -- business is relationships (too).

To read the full article, go here.

Susan Dunn's Favorite Communication Operating Principles

Favorite Communication Operating Principles
by Susan Dunn

Virginia Sapir, a psychologist and pioneer in family counseling, wrote: "Once a human being has arrived on this earth, communication is the largest single factor determining what kinds of relationships he makes with others and what happens to him in the world about him."

With this in mind, I present some my favorite Communication Operating Principals.

1. "In order to understand what another person is saying you must assume it is true and try to imagine what it could be true of."
~ George Miller ~

2. "The first law of communication is: Assume you have been misunderstood."
~ Source Unknown ~

3. "Men can take up to 7 hours longer [than women] to process complex emotive data. [They] will not know what they feel at the moment of feeling and will take longer to figure it out. [They] may not be able to put their feelings in words - if they choose a verbal strategy at all."
~Michael Gurian, author of "What Could He Be Thinking" ~

4. "Verbal confrontation is as natural to men as walking or breathing, and as unconscious."
~ Suzette Haden Elgin, author of "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense" ~

5. "There is a libraryful of research to indicate that logic is almost useless as a way of convincing people of anything."
~ Suzette Haden Elgin ~

6. "Never use Hedges ('I know you'd never let me, but . '). They are exactly equivalent to wearing a big sign that say 'Please kick me - I would love to be a victim.'"
~ Suzette Haden Elgin ~

7. "If a man truly wants to communicate with his wife, he must enter her world of emotions."
~ Gary Smalley ~

8. "For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver."
~ George Ade ~

9. "The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."
~ Peter Drucker ~

10. "Sympathetic people often don't communicate well. They * back reflected images which hide their own depths."
~ George Eliot ~

11. "If you can always be taken by surprise because you have no idea what verbal aggression is or how to spot it, you are an ideal target."
~ Suzette Haden Elgin ~

12. "The genius of communication is the ability to be both totally honest and totally kind at the same time."
~ John Powell ~

Whether we're communicating at work, socially, or in an intimate relationship, and whether we're communicating thoughts or feelings, it's a strategy, a choice we make in an effort to accomplish something. And, it's good to remember - if you're there, you're communicating SOMETHING, whether you mean to or not.

Interpersonal skills are part of emotional intelligence and can be learned. Become aware of your communication style and work to improve it.

What's a Social Skill?

A social skill is any skill facilitating interaction and communication with others. Social rules and relations are created, communicated, and changed in verbal and nonverbal ways. The process of learning such skills is called socialization.

aka Emotional Intelligence

From some source, I know not what:

10 Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Skills

1. Smile.
2. Be appreciative.
3. Pay attention to others.
4. Practice active listening.
5. Bring people together.
6. Resolve conflicts.
7. Communicate clearly.
8. Use humor.
9. See it from their side.
10. Don't whine.

Sounds good to me! Want to improve your EQ? Take THE EQ COURSE.

Better yet, become a certified EQ coach and train others. My course is highly-rated, on the Internet, interactive and includes coaching sessions with me. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information. I have trained and certified coaches internationally.