EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE -WHAT DO YOU PUT ON YOUR FACE?

THE BODY CAN LEAD THE HEAD ... THE HEAD CAN LEAD THE EMOTIONS ... WATCH WHAT YOU PUT ON YOUR FACE
I spent the weekend with a friend of mine who's intense about things. When she's not getting what she wants and gets in an argument, the tension shows all over her face and body. This, in turn, signals the other party (who may have just been "discussing" things) that there's a fight, and they tend to dig into their own position.

I was able to interrupt and say to my friend, "How about if you smile right now?" She did. And then smiled an even bigger smile. Since she's young, she's able to take her experiences as they come, i.e., the ego and the neocortex don't interfere. (What do you think might happen if you interrupted an adult in the middle of a "fight", with "How about if you smile right now?")

"I feel better!" she remarked.

It was basically the end of the argument.

When the other party saw her smile, they were changed as well.

Children ... you will say ... they're easily distractible, easily influenced. And what is wrong with that if it makes things better in the end? Being invested in a fight with someone isn't always the best place to be. Flexibility is an EQ competency, and it means being able to self-adjust along the way. It means avoiding --
**Just because someone makes you angry, you have to make your point
**I MUST convince this person that they are wrong and I am right
**I can't not stay mad. Then what would they think? They'd think I had no backbone!
**I must ... I have to ... I can't not ... NO WAY!

If you'd like to find out more about this, next time you're tensing up for an argument (be aware of this -- in your body), stop. (Understand that you have a choice at any time in the process of an emotion or exchange. Smile. Consider this an EQ exercise and don't try and "rationalize" it. Just smile. Putting your face into these muscle positions makes it nearly impossible to remain tense.

Candace Pertman, the scientist who brought us the chemistry behind the first anti-depressants, suggests putting a pencil lengthwise in your teeth, thus forcing your face into the "smile" musculature. Do this many times a day if you want to feel good -- I mean in the body sense. Your body does not appreciate it when you're tense. It causes your blood pressure to go up, your heart to pound, your arteries and heart to work overtime, shuts down your breathing so you don't get the oxygen you need. Your BODY would appreciate it if you would put that pencil lengthwise in your mouth several times a day. Try it! I find when I do, the muscles in my stomach also relax.

So what if you fail to continue being angry? Nothing much comes from being angry. ANGER IS GOOD FOR KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT. IT ISN'T GOOD FOR GETTING WHAT YOU WANT.

Go ahead and be angry if you like, remain tense and stress your body out. It's your choice. You can also be good to yourself, note quickly what the anger-response is telling you ("I want something I'm not getting", or some ego-position blow) relax, smile, and make a plan.

In this relaxed state, you can figure out how you might get what you want, or you can accept that you won't be getting it (now) and not add a second problem (tension and physical ills) to a first problem (not getting what you wanted, or having to do something you don't want to).

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WATCH WHAT YOU PUT ON YOUR FACE
We recommend Arbonne products, Swiss-engineered and manufactured in the US, because ... what you put ON your face and body gets absorbed into your bloodstream. These products are natural. You're cautious about what you put in your mouth. Be just as cautious about what you put on your skin, because it amounts to the same thing.
ARBONNE ... BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF.
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