Sunday, July 09, 2006

Emotional Intelligence: Dealing with Difficult People at Work


EQ IS YOUR SWORD AND YOUR SHIELD. It is as helpful to know how to avoid being manipulated and unduly influenced, as it is to be able to do it when you choose to.

To learn more about this, take the IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE course - interactive on the Internet. Real how-to instructions. (email me and I'll send PayPal link or scroll down)

Guest Article today from my good friend, Bob Jerus:


People complain about buying things they didn't want or doing things against their better judgment. The keys lie in limiting the persuasion and influence power of others.

1. Have your own opinions and views

Influence expands to fill a vacuum. Without clearly defined ideas of your own, the opinions of others carry more weight.

2. Consider carefully how credible your source is.

Superficial characteristics (a good image, friendly smile...) make agreement easy. Consider the power you give away and manage it cautiously.

3. Share personal connection sparingly.

Feelings are more potent than logic. By sharing information, you grant others power. Indifference and vagueness conceal your hot buttons.

4. Listen with all your senses; seek confirmation.

See if all the information you have is consistent. Check and recheck. Allow time. Confirm opinions with objective, disinterested sources.

5. Don't allow yourself to be pressured and/or overwhelmed.

Abdicating decisions often leaves them to the persuader. Pressure and hard sell tactics can be limited by refusing undue pressure. Know the tactics of influence and recognize when they're being used.

6. Take time to think.

Decisions made in haste are repented in leisure. Don't be taken in by false claims of urgency and scarcity.

7. Don't be put on the spot.

A powerful tactic is to engage the pressure of the moment and other people. Greater pressure, feelings of discomfort and awkwardness are most associated with undue influence and manipulation.

8. Understand the tools and techniques of power, influence and persuasion.

By relating to sales and the superficial tactics of persuaders, the proposition can be separated from the process.

9. Question 'proof.'

Verify claims. Realistically assess sources and claims. Consider accuracy and relevance.

10. Be realistic.

Consider the 'friendship' of a sales person with some skepticism. Wonder about inside information. Evaluate and judge both products and people.
(c)Robert G. Jerus, MBA; APC; MA; Certificate in Human Development & Learning Technologies; SPHR, Author, trainer, speaker, consultant, counselor, & coach, who can be reached at, or visited on the web. Robert G. Jerus wants you to know: as a student of human potential, I facilitate learners achieving their objectives through multidisciplinary, multi-sensory experiential tools.

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