Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Summit


Where 90% of what you're saying, ain't coming out of your mouth.

Check out the bbc's special on nonverbal communication at the Summit

Commentary by NV expert Dr. Peter Bull of York Univ.

Yes, Blair does seem worried about things back home ... OOPS! Big mistake there to assume we know what someone is worried about.

As a student in my Difficult People class just wrote - - "I have often been misjudged about what I was thinking or feeling because someone assumed because I was "mad" that I was mad at them.

Blair looks preoccupied. But how do we know what he is preoccupied about? That's quite a leap to say what it might be.

It would be hard to refute that Chancellor Merkel is fond of Bush, or positive toward him. I don't agree with the read on Bush in that photo though. I don't agree that his facial expression looks "masterful." What do you think. Share your thoughts.

Being able to read nonverbal communication is part of EQ and one of the mistakes people make along the way is to leap quickly to conclusions as to the origin of the emotion they see or sense.

It takes practice to learn to read nonverbal communication at the conscious (useful) level. It's for sure you are picking it up, but if you're not mindful about it, it can actually work against you. You might just pick up someone's fear (it's contagious you know), or be uneasy and not know why, perceive it as nervousness about yourself, and it would throw off your performance.

It pays to know what's going on. If you aren't aware and mindful about NV cues, you can't use the information, you may misread it, and you can't manage its effect on you.

The first step is to become aware of other people's NV communication. Once you learn to read nonverbal communication, then you need to think about the source of what you're perceiving. It's typical to sense someone else is mad and assume it's about you ... or things back home ... or about your project. Real NV experts check it out. It could be indigestion making them look that way.

YOU: "Hmm, I'm sensing you aren't crazy about this project..."
THEM: "On the contrary, I'm quite enthusiastic about it, but I have a pebble in my shoe."

Learn more about EQ by taking the
EQ COURSE. You have nothing to lose but being lost, out of it, confused, and clueless.

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