Sunday, November 11, 2007

How to Change Your Response to Conflict

How we respond to conflict and anger is learned early in childhood and if we don't gain self-awareness and emotional awareness, we carry these patterns over into adulthood, where they are not effective.

This article gives a great introduction to emotional intelligence. For more learning, get emotional intelligence coaching (email me at ) or take THE EQ COURSE. This course is excellent for anger management as well.

From the article: Workplace Coach: Response to conflict learned at early age


Be aware of your emotional patterns.

Understand that we co-create what's working and not working with others.

Identify what you are feeling (feelings inform you about the importance and meaning of a situation) and then choose your behavior. Recent brain-scan research indicates that naming your feeling when upset (either to yourself or out loud) can get you out of "lizard" mode and back into prefrontal cortex thinking mode (where your odds of successful resolution are greatly enhanced).

Get help -- hire a coach or get training in conflict resolution and interpersonal practices.

Notice when you slip into your childhood emotional state, then choose to behave as a

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