Thursday, October 25, 2007

What Happens When You Give Up Wanting Something?

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From today's mailbag:

Hi Susan,

I read your blog post.

Giving up what you want is sometimes really hard. I fought it for a long time, because my kids were all wrapped up in it too and it doesn't matter that they're all grown up. As a mom, you never stop wanting things to be good for your kids!

I am an American living in Canada, married to a Canadian man. We met and got married in Nova Scotia, I had been living in Washington State. After living in NS for 2 years, I decided I wanted to be closer to my 2 grown sons and the grandchildren I had never met! So I started planning a move. I thought I had it so together. I decided in 2006 that I wanted to be in British Columbia by fall. I figured out how much money my husband and I would have to save to move, figured it out as to how much he would have to be earning and so forth. I researched all the moving options, moving vans, driving ourselves across country, planes, trains, how to get our cats there, searching for a house rental online, and so on.

As the summer progressed, my husband's work situation fell apart. The construction industry in NS, like so much else there, was seasonal and unreliable. Not only were we not saving money, but we were getting behind in paying our bills. Then my younger son announced he was getting married in September and wanted me to be there. This pushed my own deadline ahead at least a month. I stressed and stretched every dollar, worried my brain to death trying to figure it out, then decided to just give up on the timing of it all. If I didn't try to make it happen by September, or by any time, at least I wouldn't be so stressed.

The Universe knew my intentions, my desires, and that would just have to be enough.

This is remarkable, I'm still awed at how this worked...but that same day my husband came home, and before I said anything to him, told me that his work partner wanted to move to B.C. with us. All of a sudden the possibilities opened back up, we could split all the expenses, including renting a house, plus we would arrive with a business partner, always helpful.From there, it all fell into place. My older son said I could come stay with him and his family and go to the wedding with them, then stay with them until I found a house of my own. Then his (Canadian) wife got her mother looking for a house for us in BC, which she ended up finding and sharing with me. The landlord turned out to be a former client of hers, who waived all deposits because he knew her so well (she was his accountant; can't get any more reliable than that!). Meanwhile, my husband and his partner made it as far as Calgary, Alberta and went to work there, and eventually this is where I ended up too. It's a quick 1 1/2 hour plane flight to see my sons, and we're both making a ton of money here, it's like a gold rush, so I can visit them as often as I like.

We went from poverty and loneliness 5000 miles from my family, to moving closer, getting out of debt, and making good money, within a year, once I just "gave it up".-- Kathryn Beach Calgary, Alberta

Thanks, Kathryn, for sharing this with us.

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