Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Emotional Intelligence - How to Spice Up Your Sex Life

WANT TO SPICE UP YOUR SEX LIFE?


According to studies conducted by the Diet & Fitness Center at Duke University Medical Center, morbidly obese people are 25 times more likely to have problems in their sex lives than normal-weight people.

What impressed reseracher Martin Binks, Ph.D., psychologist and director of behavioral health at Duke, was how big a difference it makes in one's sex life to be morbidly obese. There are numbers which indicate "morbidly obese" (like BMI) but I think we know when we're there - or fatter than we'd like to be, or heavier than we should be for optimal health, or displeased with our weight, or when it is interfering with our sex lives, yes?

The study confirmed that desire for sex, performance, and enjoyment all decline with obesity. In fact some "morbidly obese" people avoid sex, even dating, completely. And with the media and other pressure in the US who does this apply to -- thinking that we're "too fat" to enjoy a sex life or "too fat" to date or be attractive to the opposite sex?

A majority of the US population iss overweight, and a majority of females may not be overweight but are pressured to feel terrible unless they are pencil thin.
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One of the hardest thing for women in the US to deal with is the attitude toward weight. Just read the profiles on the Internet dating sites ... "can't stand overweight women," "no fatties need apply," "don't send me a picture 25 lbs. ago," and "first, send me a photo and what size do you wear?"

This is analagous to asking men for their salary, 401k and income, asking for a photo of their bank statement, saying "less than 6 figures, don't bother writing." It's rude and insensitive. Worse than that it isn't considering what a person is really like, on the inside - their dream and plans, their values, how they treat other people, and who they are.

People change. If you're in it for the long haul, your love may have wrinkles come day, gray hair, a few extra pounds, or a bad case of acne. It isn't about what's on the outside!

In Binks' study, the average BMI was over 40 and individuals were asked about four things:

1. enjoyment of sexual activity
2. sexual desire
3. difficulty with sexual performance, and
4. avoiding sexual encounters

All these people were in treatement for "obesity."

65% of them said they had significant sexual problems
50% had difficulties desiring sex
42% had performance problems
41% said they avoided sex
28% reported less enjoyment of sex, compared with 4% of the normal-weight group.

THAT'S A HIGH PRICE TO PAY FOR WEIGHING MORE THAN IT IS HEALTHY TO (you can lose weight) or FEELING BAD ABOUT YOUR SELF-IMAGE (which can be conditioned, caused by a critical Significant Other, parent, or partner, or "in your head" (you can work on your emotional intelligence).

One of my clients, Nancy, started taking the ARBONNE weight loss supplement and lost weight after a year of being at a standstill, despite a decent daily diet and running several miles every day. She weighs 20 lbs. more than the charts say she should. However, she looks good, has no health problems, and is largely operating with an "emotional hangover" from her last boyfriend who, because he, himself, suffered low self-esteem, kept putting her down. This is living in the past! She's also working on her emotional intelligence competencies and self-talk. One of the competencies is "personal power" - not being in the "victim" position.

If your "self-talk" has been poisoned by a negative person, check into the EQ FOUNDATION COURSE or CALL FOR ONE (1) COACHING SESSION.

I DO NOT ASK FOR A COACHING CONTRACT LIKE OTHER COACHES. MOST OF THE TIME WE CAN ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU CAME FOR IN ONE SESSION. I don't know if I'm better than other coaches, work faster, or attract a more motivated and savvY group of clients, but that's the way it works out, so please don't feel like I require a 12-month contract like some coach's, or that one session will be a waste of time or just a prelude for a contract. You know what's best for you. My clients know what works for them. If you want a "contract" please ask for one. Me? I just want to get you where you want to go, whether we accomplish that in one session or several.

I have clients who pop in from time to time, and some who've been coaching with me for years.

If you have a problem in your head about your weight, which is undoubtedly affecting your love life, sex life and emotions, why not give me a call?

If you're a man who's obsessed about the "weight" of women, you might also want to consider that this is really about YOU, and get some coaching.

Everyone deserves a great life, a great sex life, a great partner, and a great job! YES!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

When you mentioned that did you realise health food chart was for sales here health food chart ?