TWO DOTS AND AN UPWARDLY CURVED LINE :) AND WE MAKE IT A FACE. HOW COME?From the mailbag, something for you to read. Oh my. And of course you can't just send an entertaining email to The EQ Coach! When you read this, keep in mind that we do this figuratively as well as literally. EQ is about getting it straightened out in your head and NOT reading things into things that aren't there.
And our gigantic human brains are so geared to do this. This is like Hebbian logic. What's Hebbian logic? Go HERE to torture yourself. Sorry, even Wikipedia doesn't make it too clear.
Most comprehensible description I've read is in the landmark, A General Theory of Love.
Here's the general idea. Three fundamental assumptions (go Donald Hebb!)
1. Co-activated neurons become associated.
2. Associations can occur between adjacent or distant neurons, that is, the entire cortex is an associative memory.
3. If neurons become associated, they will develop into a functional unit, a cell assembly.
Electrophysiological studies have demonstrated that many cortical and subcortical neurons being frequently active at the same time strengthen their connections.
If a neuron, call it L, sends one connection to a second neuron, M, their synapse will strengthen when both are repeatedly active together, so that L will later have a stronger influence on M.
This effect is called long-term potentiation (LTP) because it can last a long time.
With extended associative learning, connection strength becomes a function of the frequency of coincident activity."
Roughly translated, it goes like this (as best I understand it): You ask a woman out and get rejected once. So what? Twice ... hmmm. Three times ... bigger hmmm. 20 times, you associate women with rejection. Very strongly.
(This of course can be over-ridden by intensity. Be 5 years ago and get bitten by one dog one time, and that connection (dog=bites=hurt) can last a lifetime. Fall in love at 18 with all your heart and soul and get rejected and you may become a confirmed "bachelor".)
This of course can be over-ridden by intensity. Be 5 years ago and get bitten by one dog one time, and that connection (dog=bites=hurt) can last a lifetime. Fall in love at 18 with all your heart and soul and get rejected and you may become a confirmed bachelor (love=pain). You'll never give another female a chance and never disconnect those synapses..
You go to Italian class and the teacher is nice to you once ... hmmm. Twice ... bigger hmmm. Every time ... you love Italian, you love learning! (The latter because we tend to "generalize" as well. That's why your child's first teacher is soooo important.) Things are also more influential when we're young; that's why it's called "the formative years."
EQ is about those "connections" that we form. Some of them, in some of us, need to be disconnected.
Think you don't have them?
Read this!
Olny srmat poelpe can.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
If you can raed tihs psas it on !
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