Sunday, August 03, 2008

It's 105 Degrees in Dallas


It usually is hot in Texas in the summer!

I had a friend here this weekend from Mississippi. She kept commenting on how hot it was. Each time she mentioned it, I became aware that it was hot, and that I was hot.

Here in Dallas we don't comment on the heat in the summer. What's the use? It only makes us think about it.

And that's one way of coping!

Yes it is hot. It has been 105 recently. I don't know what it is today because I don't need to know, and it only makes it worse. It's a statement of a fact that it is hot. Beyond that, this is something we can do nothing about, that will be here for a while, it's expected, and talking about it only makes it worse.

We can seek temporary solutions to this "problem" - like cold drinks, cold showers, turning up the A/C, and staying inside. We can also occupy ourselves with things so we get our minds off of it. And that's kind of the key to things like this.

Complaining about something only makes it worse. It keeps it in the forefront, it magnifies its importance, and it keeps up, actually from taking action.

It also stresses the people around you. When someone says, "It's hot," I want to say, "Thank for reminding me."

With low EQ, you can move right on to "catastrophizing." This is:

  • It's so hot I think I'm going to die.
  • This is too hot. I can't stand it.
  • I'm going to go out of my mind if it's this hot tomorrow.
  • I'll never be able to sleep tonight. I've got a big meeting tomorrow, my hair will go limp, my makeup will run ... it's a nightmare.
  • This is awful. I can't stand it. Why did I ever move here. I must've been out of mind. Stupid, yes, stupid. That's what I am. I never get it right.
If there's a problem there are always 3 ways to deal with it:

  1. Change it
  2. Leave
  3. Change your attitude
If there's a solution to the problem, get right on it. That's the constructive, EQ thing to do. Either fix it, or get away from it. Failing that, change your attitude. Stressing over the stressor only compounds your own misery, and adds to the misery of those around you.

Remember - "5 minutes of anger suppresses your immune system for up to 8 hours." If you'd like to work on how you handle your emotions, and what you allow them to do to you and your health, email me at or call me at 817-741-7223.

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