Friday, July 25, 2008

Brangelina and the Babies


Susan Dunn is a personal life coach, specializing in emotional intelligence for success in career, dating and personal life. Call 817-741-7223 or sdunn@susandunn.cc

We can't help but join in the excitement about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitts' new twins! Joining a brood with already 6 small children. We also can't help wondering how they will do it.

Even if there are nannies and maids, there's so much work to do, and lot of it emotional and demanding. CHildren learn their emotional intelligence from their parents, by watching how they react and respond to things.
How do we handle the stress?

  • Maybe you have a stressful job where the demands on your time seem impossible

  • Maybe you have two jobs and are struggling to put gas in the car

  • Maybe you are in school and the pressure to compete combines with deadlines and tons of reading

Whatever the stresses you are under, you need to find YOUR way of handling them. Not everything works for each person. Let me guide you with coaching to find the way that works for you.


FROM THE MAILBAG


From Ben: I did the yoga thing and it turned out to be more like another job. Rushing to get there. Working at getting it right. I came home more stressed then when I went there. What's up with that?


From LaDiva: she told me to go to a park and walk in nature. so i did and i breated deep like i was sposed to and just started coughing from all that stuff in the air. and there were kids there fighting and dogs too. this doesnt work for me.


From Kayley: meditation would be nice but i just can't turn off thoughts in my head. seems to me like i'd do better running a mile and get exhausted physically. what do you think?


Well, whatever your stress levels, there IS a way to manage it, and it may not be what works for someone else.


Let me coach you to success and managing the stress.



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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Lessons in Management


LESSONS IN MANAGEMENT
(source unknown)

Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob , the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?: "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"


Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders, in time you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.



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The Dogs Days of Summer


Hubble photo of Sirius, the Dog Star, believed to be in the public domain.

Folks, we are in the Dog Days of Summer. If you're feeling irritable and also lethargic, you aren't alone.

This is the Dog Days of Summer. This is because of the Dog Star, Sirius, and it's serious business!

Going back to ancient times, the Northern Hemisphere has had to deal with scorching summers and has had various explanations.

Here's the story-- Sirius, the Dog Star, is the brightest star besides the sun.

The "Dog Days" are when Sirius rose just before or at the same time as sunrise, but this has shifted somewhat since the precession of the equinoxes over time. This happened to be the heat of summer in the Northern Hemisphere. Also, of interest, it was the time when the Nile River flooded.

The Dog Days used to be considered "an evil time when the seas boiled, wine turned sour, dogs grew mad, and all creatures became languid, causing to man burning fevers, hysterics and frenzies" according to Clavis Calendarium, 1813.

Of course we can see now that it's the heat!!

Official dates are:
Old Farmers Almanac says 40 days, July 3 - August 11
The Book of Common Prayer says July 6 - August 17

REMEDIES:

  • Understand what the heat does to us, emotionally, mentally and physically (that's why we have phrases like - chill, and hot under the collar.
  • Stay "cool"
  • If you're tired, don't take a Red Bull, take a nap
  • Don't pressure yourself or others about things that can wait. "Let sleeping dogs lie."
  • Don't get over-heated - mentally, physically or emotionally
  • Stay out of the heat - literally, and also remove yourself from 'heated' situations.
In other words, it's a good time to practice your emotional intelligence skills. Don't allow yourself to be provoked by others who are "losing it."


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Employees on the Internet

UH OH

Seen on the Scrabulous request board:

Looking for a relatively fast game, but I'm at work so there may be some distractions


How to handle the employees and the Internet takes some EQ - in - action.
EQ is all about leadership, finesse, the "soft" skills that make the hard skills work .... call me (817-741-7223) or email me, sdunn@susandunn.cc, for coaching.


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Brad Pitt's IQ

The IQ ad that pops up on our screens states that Brad Pitt's IQ is 136 -- and can you beat it?

So much interest in IQ! And now there's a growing interest in EQ - emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence refers to all those "other things" that make a person successful in their personal and professional life, besides their raw IQ score.

What's really great is that EQ can be learned. It's considered that your "IQ" is pretty much set in early childhood, but that our EQ does increase over time, if we PAY ATTENTION and learn.

I coach emotional intelligence. Come join me for a great learning experience.

Coaching by email, Internet courses, one-day seminars in Dallas, San Diego and D. C. EMAIL ME for more information.

I also train and certify coaches in emotional intelligence, lifeskills, wellness, relationships, dating, etc. One-day seminars, or long-distance. I have trained coaches all over the world. Distance is no problem!

DATING COACHING - visit the blog: http://datingcoachblog.wordpress.com/ .



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Monday, July 21, 2008

Now YOU Can Be a Coach

Someone asked me the other day about becoming a coach. Did you know that I have trained and certified coaches all over the US and the world?

I train long-distance, and also offer one-day seminars for training and certification in Dallas, San Diego, and the D. C. area. (email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc to arrange YOURS.)

Want to become a coach?

  • The ideal profession
  • You're your own boss
  • You set your own schedule and hours and rates
  • It's a portable profession - you can move any time you want
  • The perfect retirement profession
  • No one can fire you
  • You can only get better with age
  • You help me
  • YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE
  • Tremendous growth field
  • Cited in a recent publication as one of the sneaky 6-figure occupations

Areas I can certify you in include, but are not limited to:

  • Dating
  • Wellness
  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Life balance
  • Stress
  • Parenting
  • Personal Life Coach
  • Business Coach
  • Life Coach
  • Relationship Coach

I have an M.A. in Clinical Psychology, and was one of the founding members of Coachville, serving on Thomas Leonard's R&D team. I am proud to be Step-parenting expert and Attract your dream partner expert on a major website. I serve as EQ expert for WebProNews, and am proud to have been named Spiritual Life Path, and Adult Development Expert for selfgrowth.com, the largest selfhelp portal on the Internet.

Come learn with the coach who trains the other coaches.

Coach training and certification - long distance, on-site, Dallas, San Diego, D.C.; completely unique and personalized program for you, including marketing tips and strategies for a successful practice.

Requirements? An interest in becoming a coach.

Call 817-741-7223 or email sdunn@susandunn.cc



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Thursday, July 10, 2008

How to Learn How to MAKE A DIFFERENCE

"Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren't any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn't be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life's challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes that matter in the world come about. So be that one person." - Buckminster Fuller

Prepare yourself by taking the EQ course, about emotional intelligence. You can be the best you, and can make a difference.

There is nothing more satisfying.
eMail me at sdunn@susandunn.cc



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Thursday, July 03, 2008

Do these pants make my butt look too big?

About honesty in relationships, and "the truth."

A constant sort point in male-female relationships has to do with "the truth." To many men, truth is an absolute.

There's a joke circulating about this now - one of many. Here it is:

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

He quickly replies, "Well you have perfect eyesight."

I hate to belabor the obvious on this one. It's a joke because we all know this.

IF you don't have tact, and if you confuse "honesty" with "the truth", as if you owned the truth ... please take some EQ training.

If you are a kind and decent person and a person needs reassurance, give it. It's the higher path.

The "truth" is a relative thing, subject to one's subjectivity. Kindness matters more in human relationships.

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Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Don't Get Sick in July


Because a dear friend of mine became a night manager at a convenience store this year, and I've observed the effects on her working the graveyard shift, I've been looking at the effects of sleep deprivation. I also have heard her stories about the "night people," the people that frequent the store between midnight and 4:00 a.m. Many of them shift workers, and many of them working more than one job. Some have done so for years, and say, "You never get used to it."

What does it do to you to be up all night when you're supposed to -- biologically -- be sleeping? We'll be taking a look at this from different angles and here's one.

Maybe you haven't heard of this if you aren't in the medical community -- DON'T GET SICK IN JULY.

Why?

July 1 is when brand new baby physicians begin their internship, residency and clinical duties at teaching hospitals.

Common sense (emotional intelligence) would tell you you want an experienced professional if hospitalized, not to mention a rested and alert one, but I can tell you, having been married to a physician, that those schedules are grinding - almost a test of how well you can function without sleep.

There is some data to back this up.

According to "Near-miss errors in laboratory blood test requests by interns," there is an increased risk of error.

From the article:

The overall incidence of near-miss events when interns practiced during the first month of training vs. subsequent months was 1.6 vs. 0.6 cases per 100 intern-days at risk. The odds ratio for a near-miss event during the first month of intern training vs. subsequent months was 2.64.
That isn't exactly "alert the press information" -- that's why interns and residents are supervised. How well, is a function of hospital rigor and chance.

But take a look also at the effects of interns' on-call shift schedule as well:

One half of the near-miss episodes occurred during an intern's on-call days and another half of them during an extended on-call shift; none of the events occurred during a standard working shift. These events peaked in frequency when on-call interns had worked for 12–20 h.
So here's a matter of EQ -- if you, or someone you love, is hopitalized ever, but particularly in July at a teaching hospital, check out the 'state' of the doctor. You don't want an intern during his first month of clinical work who's on his 19th hour of duty on an on-call night ... do you?



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Thursday, June 26, 2008

Diamond's Germs Guns and Steel

Youtube.com has some really amazing resources. Now you can have access to Germs, Guns and Steel, by Jared Diamond, an interesting book on a somewhat controversial subject. Here is Part One.




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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

How to become an excellent Life Coach

HERE ARE THE TOP TEN WAYS TO BECOME AN EXCELLENT COACH - a dream position where you are your own boss, help people can't get fired, and is totally portable.


1. Get trained and certified with an individualized program.

As the director of a coach certification program, I know that the individuals who are drawn to coaching are very different and have unique backgrounds. With an individualized program, you do not have to waste your time going over the things you already know, or may even be degreed or credentialed in.

2. Get coaching yourself.

The coach you hire will be your 'model' for how coaching is done. You have a chance to experience the process in real life!

3. Know the difference between a therapist, a coach and a friend.

Friends are well-meaning, but often lack objectivity. Therapists can spend time sorting out things from the past and have constraints because of licensing regulations that do not apply to coaching. In coaching, we go forward. Whatever the person's past, we present them with the opportunity, encouragement and the TOOLS to go forward and re-create their life.

4. Make sure your coaching certification program includes marketing, by an individual who has spent time marketing.

To be an excellent coach, you have to have clients. You are an entrepreneur.

5. Learn to listen more than talk.

This is counter-intuitive, and a mistake many enthusiastic beginners make. You will learn more about the client and their situation by listening, and with guided listening- asking the right, and the hard, questions - you will be able to guide them in the direction that will win for them.

6. Don't think you have to be an expert at something.

What you are an expert in, is coaching. There are many principals and tools that apply to a vast range of situations, whether the person is male or female; a doctor or a longshoreman; a parent or non-parent; a 26 year old or a 65 year old. A good coaching program gives you the META view, the overview, that teaches you to see the commonality.

7. Never think you know it all.

In fact, the fun of coaching is that you will learn from every client.

8. Keep learning on your own.

Just because you have the certification, don't quit learning! I can say with some certainty that anything you learn will make you a better coach. It's a field for people who love to learn.

9. Remember that coaching is a service profession.

Your job is to make your client's life easier, not harder. Be flexible in your schedules, payments, length of calls, etc. For instance, I make my services available nights and weekends -- because that's when working people have time to contact their coach.

10. Join and participate in collegial organizations and activities.

I had the opportunity to serve on Thomas Leonard's R&D team and it was an invaluable experience. I am also a founding member of Coachville. Staying in touch with your leader and colleagues keeps you in front at the trough, so to speak.


By Susan Dunn, M.A. Clinical Psychology, Director of coach training and certification program, who can be reached at sdunn@susandunn.cc, or visited on the web. Susan Dunn offers a flexible, fast, effective and dynamic individualized coach-training and certification program. It can be delivered long distance (I have trained coaches all over the world), or in-person in your town or mine (Dallas/Fort Worth area). My office 20 mins. from DFW. I regularly provide private weekend training for coaches who want to complete the program in a hurry. This program is designed to equip you to be a coach in many different areas. Business, relationships, dating, emotional intelligence, success, wellness, leadership ... Just ask!

With years spent in marketing prior to coaching, marketing and building your practice is an integral part of the program. You don't want to just be a coach, you want to be a successful coach who has clients. eMail me @ sdunn@susandunn.cc .



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If you're happy with your job, you could be in trouble


In response to demand, personal seminars in Dallas-Fort Worth or on-site at your location. Individual coaching in an intensive accelerated format for savvy professionals, CEOs and anyone interested in improving performance. eMail me for information - sdunn@susandunn.cc . Arranged on weekends and/or to fit your schedule. One-on-one instruction with Susan Dunn, M.A.

Were you ever in an office situation where there was one really "Happy" person and they were bullied, provoked, ignored, or demeaned? Or the gossipw as they were 'so happy because they were stupid.' Maybe it was even you. Although we all say we want to be happy with our jobs, expressing this "joy" may not be an asset -in the Western World.

Why?

As David Caruso said, in Expressing Emotions at Work, "Anger is associated with power, joy with weakness." He added, "this is obviously a problem for all of us."

As one of my clients said, "This is a really happy time in my life, all things are going well, and I love the money from this job. But it's like they want to stamp out the happiness. Am I supposed to walk around glowering and angry and yell at everyone like XX does?"
Conversely you may be into the anger-role, even enjoying it, but beginning to sense that it isn't very good for your health.

Anger gives us information, is a basic emotion, sometimes unavoidable, but the trouble is if you live in that state, you are stressing your body incredibly. 5 minutes of anger suppresses your immune system for up to 8 hours. It is also very hard on the people around you, including loved ones at home. It can become a habit. An anger-junkie, as it were. It does feel good to 'let it all hang out' once in a while, and was even in vogue some years ago, but I can't be the only person noticing the rising rates of depression, heart attacks, cancer and so forth ... with the lifestyle going on right now.
If you've begun to realize you need to make some changes, call me - 817-741-7223, or email me.

Want to learn about 'emotions at work' and the fine art of emotional intelligence? eMail me for coaching - sdunn@susandunn.cc .


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Sunday, June 22, 2008

King of the High Cs does an F

Hear Pavarotti hit a high F.



The high F is from I Puritani, Credeasi Misera

Here are the others giving it a try:



William Matteuzzi, Nicolai Gedda, Gregory Kunde, Javier Cortes, Albert da Costa, Benvenuto Finelli and Paul Groves .

If you're a music lover, join Club Vivo Per Lei. We live for music!


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Saturday, June 21, 2008

Want to Increase Your Bottom Line?

My article Increase Your Bottom Line Through Referrals is referenced on the blog, SuperPerformance, by C.S. Clarke, Ph.D.guest article I published today on Superperformance.com is Increase Your Bottom Line Through Referrals

Clark says:

The guest article I published today on Superperformance.com is Increase Your Bottom Line Through Referrals by Susan Dunn. Susan talks in detail about how to get referrals and other word-of-mouth promotion to build your business. She specifically refers to coaching and therapy practices, but what she says applies to every kind of small business.

Call me for coaching - 817-741-7223, or email me @ sdunn@susandunn.cc . You can't afford not to!


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Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Etiquette and the Ethicality of the Blackberry

Check out this interesting article about BlackBerrys in the courtroom and at depositions.

From the article by Jerold S. Solovy and Robert L. Byman from The National Law Journal

Now, part of the problem is not ethics but manners. We don't belong to country clubs, but we understand that most of them ban BlackBerrys and cell phones. (That isn't the reason we don't belong -- we just don't play the game.) But why? Cell phones we easily understand -- an untimely ring or conversation could actually distract a golfer. But silent thumbing?

Well, these devices are banned because it is bad form, it is rude, to attend to business when one ought to be enjoying one's time in a sand trap. And if it is rude on a golf course, how about in a courtroom? How many judges will permit you to whip out your BlackBerry during live testimony at a trial? Most judges ban BlackBerrys not out of concern for ethical considerations, but because their use is an affront to the decorum of the court.
People are often amazed, when I'm with them that I let my cell phone ring or turn it off. To me it's just etiquette - to pay attention to the person you are with. Which is, after all, the greatest gift you can give someone.

Etiquette is essentially about making the other person comfortable. I am equally impressed when I' m on a date and the man's cell rings, and he turns it off, while continuing to maintain eye contact with me.

Really makes me feel special.

I'm also equally impressed when the person I'm driving with doesn't use ones. Studies have shown how dangerous it is ... calling, or answering, or talking.

Consider your use of cell and BlackBerry.

For full article, go HERE.


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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Are you this excited about dating?

Are you this excited about your work?
Whether it's dating to find your dream partner, your job hunt, your job, parenting - whatever - if you aren't this excited and ready to go .... hire me for your coach.

DATING COACHING, work, relationships, emotional intelligence.




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The WSJ and the Dating Coach

“People can sense your intolerance,” they said. “They can smell negativity.”

Is that you? That's what this woman's friends told her about her lack of success at dating.

The WSJ article on Dating Coach adds:


A few suggested that I try something for the truly desperate: a dating coach. Unlike matchmakers, dating coaches do not arrange dates. Instead, they act as cheerleaders and advisers, pointing out less than helpful behavior.

This article in now over a year old, and I think we all know by now that coaching isn't for the desperate. Also "cheerleader" is not my fave term for coaching, but it's part of it. Think of it more like a boxing coach, if you will. Someone IN YOUR CORNER who knows what's going on at the META level. Someone who can make you better at what you do.

Desperate? We recommend you devote 15 hours a week to your dating, only a part on the Internet.

With the massive numbers of folks looking for matches online, it's clearly the thing to do. Remember, it's a $500 billion dollar industry.

Yes, I am a DATING COACH. I outline for you a STRATEGY that will work. And yes, post-game analysis is part of it. Haven't you come back from a date saying, "I know I shouldn't have..." We eliminate a lot of that, and also the nerves or ennui that go along with it.

Look at it like a job hunt in a difficult terrain. Like, there are places you can live and credentials you might have that make a job hunt an oxymoron. But if you live in a town with low unemployment and have a great but esoteric or over-supplied field, in marketing we would say "a soft market," you will be interviewing, and it helps to know the ropes.

Same with dating. With a Dating Coach, you benefit from all my experience listening to hundreds of daters, my knowledge of the sites, and years of coaching.

I specialize in men and women over 40.
Call me at 817-734-1471, 817-741-7223, or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc and let's get started!

Reasonable rates. Unreasonable results.

Susan is Attract Your Dream Partner Expert for a major website, and Adult and Senior Development Expert for selfgrowth.com, the largest self help portal on the Internet.

Let's get going! Time's a-wastin'. I love what I do, and you will too.

To sign up for my Fr** ezine on dating in today's world, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc and put "dating" for the subject line. You'll love my tips.


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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Online Dating Sites - Are They for You?


Having a hard time finding your life partner??

SUSAN DUNN IS THE DATING COACH.
Let me help you LOOK ONLINE for your PARTNER. I am Attract Your Dream Partner Expert for major website, and a Dating Coach, specializing in online dating as well as traditional.
WHY NOT LET A DATING COACH HELP YOU FIND THE PARTNER OF YOUR DREAMS!

If you are interested in finding your life partner, why aren’t you looking online? Whatever misgivings you may have here are some things to consider.

According to the media, “bringing people together…is a $500 million online industry.” And at this point http://www.match.com/ appears to be in the lead. A recent article in the newspaper alleged that the online dating sites had peaked, but our common sense tells us it has not. As a Dating Coach, I can tell you that I get a new client every day who hasn’t been online yet.

And why would you aside from the numbers?

Well, here’s an example.

Martha, a client, is a professional who lives, by her own admission, “in the boondocks.” She works long hours in a city in the Midwest, so doesn't have time to get out -- but then where would she “get out” to, she asks me? Bars and other watering-holes are not the place for her, she says, as they are not for many. The hardest part, though, is that she grew up on the East Coast, and wants to return to the Ocean. So how else is she going to meet the man of her dreams in Indianapolis, Indiana, but to get online.

Then there’s my client who lives in a state and for her own reasons does not want to date someone from that state. There are plenty of “misplaced” persons who would not only be WILLING to relocate, but EAGER to.

Here’s another example. This client is from the Middle East, where the courtship and dating rules are different, and she prefers that style and culture. The percentage of the population in that town that's from her own background? It flies flies below the radar screen. I showed her there’s an online dating site for the group she’s interested in – to her surprise.

Here’s another example. This client happens to want to date Jewish men, although she is not Jewish herself. I showed her a couple of sites (like jdate.com and jpeoplemeet.com) and a quick perusal showed her that the people on the site are interested in meeting and dating Jewish people, though they may not be so themselves. A male client is interested in dating Italian women, and enjoys being on http://www.italianpeoplemeet.com/ .

Granted it can be daunting to maneuver the sites and that’s why a Dating Coach is such a great idea. You can save yourself a lot of time, and take advantage of their vast experience. For one thing, you can jump the learning curve about things like – how the sites work, how to get your name back in the front, what usernames work and what usernames don’t, how to make sure someone you aren’t interested in cannot contact you, the difference between the paid sites and the free sites, what to do about “flirts” and “winks,” appropriate replies, what to avoid, and so forth. It’s always good to go over safety issues too. And what about a photo? Should you or should you not? And what about that site that’s so heavily advertised on TV? I don’t recommend it, and I’ll tell you why.

Dating is more complex than ever. More people are entering the dating scene every day, and the challenge is to get them together, because everyone’s looking.

Looking for what? Well that’s another thing to go over with your coach. What about the man who says he’s “separated” and wants a “casual relationship” or the widower who says he wants “a long-term relationship”? Your coach can help you decipher all these ‘codes’ and help you phrase your own profile in the most positive, dynamic and appealing way, that shows who you really are and what you want.
Let's face it, looking online helps you swing a much wider net. Why not?? Why wait to get aboard this $500 million industry?
P.S. If you're worried about "long distance" dating, I can tell you some examples of great success (and how to make it work for YOU).
HE/SHE IS LOOKING FOR YOU JUST AS HARD AS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR HIM/HER.
eMail me for Dating Coaching - sdunn@susandunn.cc .


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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

How Do Doctors Think? How do YOU Think?


EQ ... it's The Missing Piece.
One of the values of The EQ Course(r) (Offered by Susan Dunn, M.A.) is that it teaches you HOW YOU THINK which is, of course, invaluable.

From Jerome Groopman's book, "How Doctors Think":

I had no ready answers to these questions, despite having trained in a well-regarded medical school and residency program, and having practiced clinical medicine for some thirty years. So I began to ask my colleagues for answers. Nearly all of the practicing physicians I queried were intrigued by the questions but confessed that they had never really thought about how they think. Then I searched the medical literature for studies of clinical thinking. I found a wealth of research that modeled "optimal" medical decision-making with complex mathematical formulas, but even the advocates of such formulas conceded that they rarely mirrored reality at the bedside or could be followed practically. I saw why I found it difficult to teach the trainees on rounds how to think. I also saw that I was not serving my own patients as well as I might. I felt that if I became more aware of my own way of thinking ...

EQ gives you a META skill. Don't miss out. It's the missing piece.
The EQ Course(r) on special until July 1 for $99 this month if you mention this blog offer. Email sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information. Course is on the Internet with email interaction.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Emotional Intelligence Crucial for Success at Work


Redmarketer joins the Emotional Intelligence (EQ)(EI) bandwagon on his blog. "The idea of emotional intelligence," he blogs, "is central to working with others."

It doesn’t work that way in the professional world. [Finishing a project on his own in school when the others dropped out.] The projects are simply too large and the expectations too high for that kind of strategy to bare fruit. So we work as close knit teams. Nay, we live and die as close knit teams. So improving your effectiveness in working with others and groups is necessary to rise to the top as a marketer, analyst, strategist, CEO or any other important role.
Read more here.



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Friday, June 06, 2008

Do you find dating impossible??

I specialize in helping men and women over 40 find their dream partner.

The Top 10 Ways to Succeed at Internet Dating

1. Hire a dating coach.

He or she can save you literally years in the learning curve. Imagine the experience of listening to hundreds of people dating online (and traditional).

2. Choose a name that describes but isn't offensive, aggressive or too sex-oriented.

Brightgirl is good. Boner69 is not. HappyguyinMA is good. Hotgirl is not. (Taken from actual websites.)

3. Keep your emails short and to the point.

This indicates you're interested in dating, not writing.

4. Don't answer flirts and winks

and don't expect yours to be answered. When you're ready to get serious you'll do it right.

5. Move it quickly from email to phone to real date.

Times a-wasting.

6. Up your rejection quotient.

All good sales people know that when the rejections go up, you're about to score. Don't give up, just keep at it.

7. Get a good photo.

It should be current, tasteful and clear. Guys, don't go in the bathroom take off your shirt and hold your cell phone up in front of the mirror. (Yes, there are many like that on the net.) Close up shots with nature backgrounds, or interesting locations (hotel lobby) seem to work best.

8. Change your profile weekly.

This brings you to the attention of searchers; that's just the way the sites work.

9. Investigate different sites.

There's something out there for every interest group, nationality, etc. Read through the profiles and see if it's got the kind of people on it you're interested in.

10. Reveal enough, not too much. We all like a little mystery. (Gals, guys especially like the mystery!)

There are sites that are free, and sites you pay for. Basically speaking, you get what you pay for.



EMAIL ME FOR DATING COACHING - sdunn@susandunn.cc or call me at 817-741-7223. I have coached hundreds of people, internationally. I also train and certify other coaches, so come and learn from the coach who teaches the other coaches.





INTERNET DATING A SPECIALITY. It's the way to go in today's dating world. Let me show you the ropes. I have specific rules that work. Many examples, lots of experience. I can save you time, energy and money.





It's an investment in your future.








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Offensive People at Work


From Mark Salinas business blog, Insights on the World of Business Management:


How do you deal with an individual at work that lacks Emotional Intelligence? A person that says random, possibly offense remarks, with no concern for the individuals around him/her. This person is upset about something, somebody or maybe has a strong opinion about a political candidate etc. Often we want to go right back with our opinions…. but why become part of that mess?


He recommends emotional intelligence. "Why become part of that mess" is such a great way to put it.

If you're looking for some tips on how to deal with DIFFICULT PEOPLE, take my online course. It's self-guided and full or PRACTICAL EQ tips.

Mention this blog and it's just $29.99. This is a fantastic course, giving you example/response over and over ...


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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

How to Retain Top Employees

"Because I said so," isn't going to cut it, writes Bob Furniss of Touchpoint Associates.

In his article, Furniss discusses the vital difference a relational boss makes to the success of the organization.

From the article:

Almost everyone has had a bad relationship with a boss drive us away from what was otherwise a good job or company. But consider how many times you have hung on to a bad job when the relationship with your boss was strong!

If you'd like to improve your relational skills and emotional intelligence, contact me for coaching. I coach professionals, lawyers, doctors, and bosses.

The costs of employee turnover are expensive, and cross many categories. If you'd like to learn more about how to hang on to good empkoyees, take the EQ program, or email me for coaching. sdunn@susandunn.cc .

See the full article HERE.


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Monday, May 26, 2008

Thoughts for Memorial Day 2008






I REMEMBER ...

Memorial Day -- a time to honor those who served, and also to re-member.

I'm going to preface this with a little story. Once back when, when I was overwhelmed with big house, kids, dogs, busy husband -- my mother-in-law said to me, "You will think back on this as the best time of your life. Really."

And now for Memorial Day. Well, I coach many people, and a fair percentage of middle-aged folks "in transition." Some of the men are going through memories, processing past stages of their lives, including Vietnam. Since that war had less pubilc support and acclamation than others, it is kind of different, but how different can "war" be? War is war, and as Ulysses S. Grant said, "it is hell."

However, something struck me in listening to a friend of mine who works at a senior apartment complex. It is very upscale, and some of the residents are in their 90s, even some nearing 100. I also have a young friend who works there as a waitress. She just started that job so I asked her the other day how it was and what she did. She said, "I listen to the old men talk about World War II. It is the most meaningful job I have ever had."

So here we have gentlemen who served in World War II, talking about it every morning when they are in their 80s and 90s. Was it the best time of their life (as my father said, who served in WW II), or the worst (as my friend says about Vietnam -- yet he talks about it all the time)? Was it, as Dickens so ripely began his great novel, "the best of times and the worst of times"?

The intense times in life makes the memories. If you feel yourself in a war zone right now -- literally or figuratively -- you might just consider that thought. You will surely be looking back at the time later one, with mixed but potent memories.

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Friday, May 23, 2008

Dating Online?


Dating coaching can save you a lot of time, because you can learn from the mistakes of others. So why not email me (sdunn@susandunn.cc) or give me a call - 817-741-7223 and invest in some dating coaching NOW. I coach both men and women ... so imagine all the experience you can learn from.
Article of interest ... Queensland University finds "online daters lack caution"

From the article:

"The social disinhibition that online interactions allow means some people are carried away by their feelings and don't use their heads as they would in normal social situations when meeting people."

Dr Bambling said has seen people in counselling regarding the
consequences of making emotional investments in people they had been emailing after meeting them on line.

"They often become quickly emotionally involved and invest in the other person before meeting. After meeting they move too fast because an emotional relationship actually started when they began interacting online before meeting, in which time they build up a fantasy view of the other person," he said.

"When they do meet, often the other person is not always what they had imagined but if they are already emotionally invested they go out anyway.
______________
This is why I recommend you move quickly from email, to phone, to a Real Date. It saves a lot of time in the long run. It saves you from throwing good money after bad, so-to-speak.

Want to know more? Get in touch with me when you're ready for some serious dating, with serious results.


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Monday, May 19, 2008

Beyond Money

From the email bag: How To Find Your Way Back Home the name of the article. It went on to talk about how we live in a world that often focuses on the importance of making money.

In fact, I was interviewed recently on Life Lessons from Movies' radio show about the movie, "Friends with Money," and they kept asking me questions about how to make more money in the world!! For many people, it has become their obsession... But for many of us, as well, we have a stronger inner need, a desire for meaning and purpose in our lives beyond the material.

I was heartened the other day to run into a young woman. She works as a waitress at an upscale retirement home. I asked her how the job was going and what she does, and she told me:

I listen to the old men talk about World War II. I love it. This is the most meaningful job I have ever had.
Want to explore "beyond money?" I coach lots of people in transition - from this to that. Get in touch with me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .



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Sunday, May 18, 2008

What the Sea Squirt Knows ... and Depression

One of the reasons I want to tell you about this book - SPARK - is because it contains one of our favorite stories ... the story of the sea squirt. I've heard this story in reference to professors who achieve tenure, and also civil servants of the same.

Ratey uses the sea squirt as an example of the relation of exercise to optimal brain functioning and thinking and his premise that only a moving animal needs a brain. The sea squirt, you see, is hatched with a rudimentary spinal cord and 300 brain cells. It has only hours to find a spot of coral on which to put down roots of die. When it does put down roots, it eats its brain. Ergo, only a moving animal needs a brain.

But that's just an intro. The book is full of the correlation between exercise and GOOD THINGS, such as better academic performance, alertness, attention, motivation and good health. Among the areas Ratey claims well-effected by exercise are stress, depression, ADD and aging.

Incidentally Ratey cites depression as the leading cause of disability in the US and it seems to respond particularly well to exercise (v. drugs).

Dr. Ratey, a psychiatrist, claims exercise relieves serious depression better than Prozac, citing the SMILE (Standard Medical Intervention and Long-Term Exercise) study at Duke University which found that both exercisers and Zoloft takers were equally likely to recover from major depression, but that the exercisers were more likely to still not be depressed 2 years later than people on Zoloft or who took Zoloft in addition to exercising.

How much does exercise matter?

Every 50 minutes of exercise per week correlated to a 50% drop in depression levels.

For EQ coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . Ask for the retro rates.



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The Apology

It's entitled "Doctors start to say 'I'm sorry' long before 'see you in court'."

This article discusses doctors expaining their errors and apologizing to the patients and the effect it is having on malpractice lawsuits. And perhaps as importantly, on doctor/patient relationships. It's referred to as "full disclosure" here.

From the article:
At the University
of Michigan
Health System, one of the first to experiment with full
disclosure, existing claims and lawsuits dropped to 83 in August 2007 from 262 in August 2001, said Richard C. Boothman, the medical center’s chief risk officer.

“Improving patient safety and patient communication is more likely to cure the malpractice crisis than defensiveness and denial,” Mr. Boothman said.

It is often difficult in today's world to say "I'm sorry", admitting fault ... and insurance companies have long recommended against it, but sometimes it's what we really want when we are the offended party.

And, defensiveness and denial are simply not good emotional intelligence - at work, in relationships or anywhere else.

Email me for EQ coaching - sdunn@susandunn.cc . Coaching for professionals, coaches, and interested others.


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Saturday, May 10, 2008

Baby Mine, Happy Mother's Day

BABY MINE ... Happy Mother's Day


One of the most complex relationships in our lives ... and one of the most enduring.
For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .
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Friday, May 09, 2008

EQ- and the Job Interview


LET ME GUIDE YOU THROUGH THE FOG
Interviewing for jobs? Looking for a new job? Just moved to a new location?
Of course you know to prepare. Yes, be able to answer "What's a problem that happened on the job and what how did you handle it?" and "Tell me about yourself."

We all know those pretty well by now!

But considering that most people form their impression of you in the first 30 SECONDS, there's another little bit of homework you need to do.

Especially if you're new to an area ... and you can really consider any new job environment a "new area."

One of the most important areas you could research is to find out how the people dress.

FROM TODAY'S MAILBAG:


Susan, I just moved to the Dallas Fort Worth area. I didn't know
there was a rivalry between the two. I started out working at a firm in
Dallas, but the commute (4 hours a day) was too long. So I tried Fort
Worth. When I walked in for my interview, dressed like I did in Dallas, the woman said, "We don't dress like that here." It seems in Fort Worth you wear some color, and in Dallas, black is fine.

Later I had a temp job. The receptionist told me they liked most
temps, but they did get rid of one. "We just couldn't stand the way she
dressed."

The next interview in Fort Worth I thought I'd done better but it turned out long hair is also "out". The man interviewing me looked at me, then turned to the other woman in the room, who had that shaved hair cut, and said, "I like your hair." That was a slam.

What do I do???? I need a job and I'm stuck between these two cities.

Do your research in this area. It's best to "fit in" as well as you can. Look up the place on the Internet and check out the dress code. Talk to people you know who might know. Go for the middle of the road, neutral look.

You might even go so far as to keep some things in your purse - a set of plain pearl earrings and then gold loops. You will usually have some time between your entrance and the time you meet with the interviewer to get the lay of the land. Like when you sit in the receptionist area. Use this time wisely, to look around and see how things are. Adjust accordingly.

For coaching, call me at 817-741-7223. I'm here to help.
Also ask for me ebook, "Acing the NEW Job Interview." Email me to order.

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Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Guitarist, Defense Consultant_ Jeff Baxter, an Improbable Story



This photo is in the public domain, because it's from NASDA.


Reading Jeff Baxter's bio on wikipedia gives you a surrealistic feeling -- can this be true?

It was, and is, and I repeat it to encourageyou in all the things you want to do anddream of doing.

Jeff Baxter, guitarist, was founding member of Steely Dan and a member of of the Doobie Brothers band. He was born in 1948.

Wrote one commentator, "Baxter had a keen interest in weapons systems (did that give you a jolt?), which began when he was researching music technology. A self-taught expert, it continues, Baxter read everything he could about weapon systems. Today, Baxter chairs the Congressional Advisory Board on Missile Defense and is a highly paid consultant for clients like Northrop Grummanand General Atomics. "

The photo above is rather current and is in the public domain because it was taken by NASA.

Ready for more?

Jeffrey "Skunk" Baxter continues studio work. He occasionally plays in The Coalition of the Willing, a band comprised of Andras Simonyi, Hungarian Ambassador to the US; Alexander Vershbow, US Ambassador to SouthKorea; Daniel Poneman, formerly of the USNational Security Council and now of theScowcroft Group; and Lincoln Bloomfield,former US Asst Secy of State forPolitical-Military Affairs.

Baxter fell into his second profession,defense consulting, almost by accident. Inthe mid 80s, his interest in music recordingtechnology led him to wonder about hardwareand software that was originally designed formilitary use, i.e., data-compressionalgorithms and and large-capacity storagedevices. As it turns out, his next doorneighbor was a retired engineer who hadworked on the Sidewinder missile program. This man gave him some magazines to read andencouraged his interest in military defensesystems in particular.

(all this from wiki) He wrote a 5-page paper proposing converting the ship-basedanti-aircraft Aegis missile into a rudimentary missile defense system. He gavethe paper to Ca congressman Dana Rohrabacher, and his career as a defense consultant began.

To read more about this, go HERE.

For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .



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Multigenerations in the Workplace and in the Home

Any day at work you may deal with different cultures and different 'generations.'

Let's say your boss is a Generation X and calls you in just to check up on things, and when he does, out of respect, he has you close the door and he puts his phone calls on hold.

Then you wander down the hall to get something from the 20 year old Millenial generational who is "busy" with 10 things and on her cell phone, whirlwinding with technical things, making sure everything fits into her life the way she wants it to ...

and you, the Baby Boomer, somewhere in the middle, where you value face-to-face interaction but also consider someone talking to you AND to their cell phone as just plain rude. You prefer email and voicemail when you can, because it's efficient, but you do like someone to stop working when you stop by their office and at least acknowledge you.

So that's the day in the office.

Even more discomfitting is that we all deal with this with our families as well, and often, these days, different cultures thrown in there as well.

I was talking to a client the other day, a 60 year old gentleman, whose sons-in-law are both from Israel, and he's very uncomfortable with the way family get-togethers are run. He gets there at noon, ready for the barbecue, nothing has happened by 2:15, some of them aren't even there yet, and, as he says, "who wants to stick around?"

Want some coaching? Give me a call or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Being able to get along with other people is one of the most valuable lifeskills you can master!

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Saturday, May 03, 2008

Prayer and emotions

Notice how this prayer links the emotion of anger with sorrow and other emotions. Also the physical - my BONES are dismayed.

Supplication (Samuel II 24, Psalms 6)

And David said to God: I am very sad. Let us fall in the hands of God, as His mercies are many, but let me not fall in the hands of man.

Compassionate and gracious One, I have sinned before You. O Lord, full of mercy, have mercy upon me and accept my supplication.

O Lord, do not rebuke me in Your anger, nor chasten me in Your wrath.

Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am pining away; heal me, O Lord, for my bones are dismayed.

And my soul is greatly dismayed; But You, O Lord—how long?

Return, O Lord, rescue my soul; Save me because of Your lovingkindness.

For there is no mention of You in death; In Sheol who will give You thanks?

I am weary with my sighing; every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my tears.

My eye has wasted away with anger; it has become old because of all my adversaries.

Depart from me, all you who do iniquity, For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping.

The Lord has heard my supplication, The Lord receives my prayer.

All my enemies will be ashamed and greatly dismayed; they shall turn back, they will suddenly be ashamed.

[prayer if from the Holy City Prayer Society in Jerusalem]


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Friday, April 25, 2008


It starts with the coining of a new word - kluge, which rhymes with huge. It's ...
“a clumsy or inelegant — yet surprisingly effective — solution to a problem.” Something you probably do all the time; I know I do.
As an EQ coach and student of the human brain, I found the book review by Annie Murphy Paul interesting.
Marcus is a prof of psychology at New York Univ. and director of the NYU Infant Language Learning Center.
Marcus says that kluge is a good description of the human body.
Writes Paul:

Take the spine. It would make more sense, and spare us much Advil, if we had
four cross-braced columns of vertebrae instead of a single vulnerable one. Or the retina: it faces the back of the head rather than the front, burdening us with a blind spot where a clump of wiring gets in the way. We’re a collection of patches and fixes, held together with the biological equivalent of duct tape — the handiwork not of an intelligent designer but of the rough-and-ready processes of evolution.

Here I might add that it's good to remember we evolved from a creature on four legs, and hanging limbs off a spine like that made sense. When my back got to hurting when I was pregnant, my good ole country doctor told me to get down on all fours and give my spine a little relief. Are these bits of advice "homey" and "silly." Um, not at all. It helped and, after the fact, made sense.

Murphy adds:

Evolution “kluges” its solutions because it has only the crudest tools at its disposal: genetic mutations and millions of years. Natural selection can select only from what genetic accidents have made available, and the features it chooses may remain in place not because they are optimal, Marcus writes, but “because evolution just didn’t find a better way.”
Neuroscience tells us of the triune brain - one brain on top of another, on top of another, progressing upwards from the reptilian brain, which evolved a LONG time ago, and thus will always be the strongest. Envisioning the brain this way helps to explain the conflicts we all have - it's one brain wanting one thing, and another, wanting another.

Paul faults the author for such 'obvious-ities' as: "Whenever possible, don’t make important decisions when you are tired or have other things on your mind.” I would add here what my psychology professor told me in grad school -- that EVERYTHING is "obvious" once it's een pointed out. It's just that we are "the fish in the water." Sometimes we MISS the most OBVIOUS things.

But so much about emotional intelligence is common sense, which has NEVER been common, and still isn't.

In fact I bet there's someone reading this who makes a note-to-self -- don't make important decision when you are tired!

I would add an even more obvious adage, that we miss over and over again -- Don't talk or deal with things when you are angry. And down here in south Texas, don't deal with things when you're too HOT, is another one. When the reptilian brain takes over, we can't think, and that's when we do a lot of harm.

In fact I'm coaching a man who said the other day, "I've learned to say 'I'm going to end this meeting now before we both say something we regret.'"

There's nothing wrong with a time out.

Keeping your mouth shut is sometimes a good policy. I'm a DATING COACH, and I often have to remind new-daters that one needn't, in fact shouldn't, tell everything right away, especially the bumps and warts and so forth. And don't talk negatively about your ex, or how 'awful' dating is. Those kinds of comments seem to beg the question that you are (1) unhappy; (2) in therapy; (3) both!
How about "don't tickle a gorilla." Learn to notice what's going on with the OTHER person, so you don't "walk into the blade of a fan."
For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . Let me help you get what you want!



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US Elections, Emotional Intelligence and Greek Drama

EQ applications?

Why is emotional expression so important? It means, basically, having words for thing.

Now, let’s take the current election. There’s a FEEL to it that most of us try to grasp, try to find words for.

I lament the passing of the Classic Education – you know, liberal arts, great literature, music, Verdi operas and Shakespeare’s plays – because at some point in each of our lives, there is going to come a time when you are going to need a vocabular that only the classics, history and myths can supply for you.

This is why all lovers are poets, and also, all mothers whose sons die young are poets.

In his article, “Yes, it’s politically incorrect but race matters,” Anatole Kaletsky reminds us of some facts – that there is nothing new under the sun, that we can at times find ourselves in our own Greek tragedy.” (This article is entitled "Yes, it's politically incorrect, but race matters.")

What does this mean – Greek tragedy? Kaletsky continues,

“The 2008 US election has all the makings of a Greek tragedy, in which noble heroes and heroines are forced to follow a course to catastrophe, divinely preordained as punishment for sins and blkunders committed by their forefathers in the dim and distant past. In acting out their ineluctable doom, the eloquent protaganists do not just destroy themselves but also their cities, their nations and even their entire civilisations.”
Strong words … but if you’ve ever found yourself caught in a 'Greek drama', you know the “ineluctable feeling.” There’s a force to it, a drag force. There's no other word for it ... and that's what we're after here. You may have to go THROUGH it, but it's 10x as bad if you can't describe it.

It’s awful, of course, but it is also helpful to know the words for it. For instance, watching the kid down the hall who seems to want his job, and yet be, at the same time, determined to get fired. And all this flying beneath his own radar screen.

I created a Mythology course just for this sort of thing. One should not be, for instance, Prometheus, without knowing it; but then of course you might want to behave differently, and therefore change the outcome.

There is always free will, of course. Feelings change. They also needn’t dictate behaviors. Why would you base any decision on a "fleeting feeling"? (One of the chapters in my course, actually, is called "A Permanent Reminder of a Temporary Feeling," from the J. Buffet song. (How is that different from intuition? Take THE EQ COURSE and find out.) Part of the joy of developing your emotional intelligence is understanding, finally, that you are not your feelings, and that you always have options.

Unless you’re in a Greek drama of course, under the pen of Sophocles. (Bear in mind also that if you aren’t mindful, you can well be playing a part in someone ELSE’S Greek drama.)

I do a lot of DATING COACHING. I nearly always have a client who is embroiled in their lover's DRAMA, just playing a part without being aware of what's going on. You should also be aware of this in dating someone newly divorced, for instance, or someone who hasn't resolved stuff from the past. You will find yourself in a 'drama' - where you are mistaken for a pst wife, a past girl-friend, even a parent!)

Are you? Study emotional intelligence and learn more.
eMail me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .
Ask about THE EQ Course, The MYTHS course, personal coaching, and DATING COACHING.

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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Opera Prompters, Life Coaches & Emotional Intelligence

HOW ARE COACHES LIKE OPERA PROMPTERS?
BTW, what's an opera prompter?? And what's that got to do with emotional intelligence?
by Susan Dunn, M.A., Personal Life & Dating Coach
sdunn@susandunn.cc

5 hours you’re standing on-stage, often not singing yourself, but still required to be present. How do you keep from drifting off? Soprano Christine Brewer, soprano with the San Francisco Opera, admitted, in a Wall Street Journal article by Thomas S. Burton, entitled “It’s Not Over (Yet) for Those Who Cue Divas,” that in a recent 5-hour performance of Wagner’s TRISTAN UND ISOLDE, it happened to her. She drifted off, and Jonathan Kuhner saved her life.

Jonathan Kuhner … Philip Eisenberg … know these names? Philip Eisenberg’s name appears on the SF opera program as “Philip Eisenberg, Assistant for Artists, Emeritus. What do these gentleman do? They’re PROMPTERS for operas, and, according to one source, there are fewer than 10 prompters working full-time in U. S. companies these days.

Are they needed?

Well according to Baritone Nathan Gunn, “They always get the biggest applause at cast parties.” One can imagine how many lives and careers they have saved. Don’t you wish you had one?? Well now you can ... but read on.

Gunn pointed out that if you see a singer standing longer than they should at front-center stage, it’s probably because they’re lost and looking to the prompter to lead them back.

Or looking for confidence. A recent article described James Johnson, 68-year-old prompter, descending into the prompter’s box (it doesn’t even have a real name!) minutes before the beginning of Tchaikovsky’s “Eugene Onegin,” where, as the orchestra of the Chicago Lyric Opera began, he kept the beat with his hands, said the first word of many lines, and [exuded] confidence so the singers stayed calm.”

Many of the prompters are ‘of an age’ – many operas must be known (and remember, each has ‘so many words’), and many languages (those ‘many words’ are not always in the singer’s native tongue). They also have to have a lot of emotional intelligence. Opera singers say they can also serve as “your voice of reason and practicality,” when the conductor speaks in that foreign language they do, i.e., “sing like an obelisk,” or “you’re making a sound that’s domelike. I want a parabola.” The opera stars look to the prompters to interpret.

Don’t you wish you had one at work, when your boss says “prioritize according to the functionality,” or “I don’t care, just make sure you choose the RIGHT place.” (This is what personal life coaches do – help you interpret.)

Or don’t you wish you had one to guide you through your role as leading man or romantic heoine in your own romantic drama? Someone to help you keep the beat (how often to call her, how often to see her), to interpret the silence (why doesn’t he call?), or to translate the foreign-speak (“What does a woman mean when she says…?”) This is what personal life coaches do.
Back to those opera prompters, I guess since the orchestra sits between you and me in the audience, and the singers on stage, we do not hear, for instance, when the beat gets ragged and the prompter pounds on the floor of the box to make the beat more pronounced to the singers. Or when, according to a Wall Street Journal article about prompters, Christine Brewer lost her way, started singing the role of another, and the prompter leaned out of the box and yelled, “Stop singing.”

The WSJ article hastens to laud Ms. Brewer’s voice … why are we so hesitant to acknowledge that needing assistance about certain things does not negate other skills? Of course you’re tops in the field of law, but that’s a lot different from courting the woman of your dreams? Of maybe you’re Wife and Mother of the Year, but your career sure could use some coaching.

Prompters are like coaches, because they prepare the singers beforehand, as well as guiding them during. “The prompter’s job,” says Burton, in the WSJ, “combines the skills of a conductor, musicologist and linguist, with an unusual ability to listen to the orchestra, keep time with the hands and deliver the singers’ lines a moment before the downbeat.”

Kuhner describes it as “juggling.” That’s often how I feel as a coach – maintaining the beat for the client’s juggling act!

“Operas just have so many words,” said soprano Susan Graham, in praise of the prompters, who are making a comeback. “I’m a big lover of prompters,” she said.

Need it be said that in Italy, where they originated, they’ve continued all along, but opera houses in the U. S. are bringing them back after a lapse.

Wouldn’t you like to have a prompter when you’re stage-center, whether it be in dating, career, parenting or retirement? That’s what coaching is all about: preparing you beforehand, and making it easier during, for a professional and successful outcome. It’s someone to teach you the lines “when there are so many words,” to interpret the words of others, prompt you and prepare you so you are self-assured, and stick with you until your Perfect Performance is completed and the applause is ringing in your ears. Also I might add, and this will make you laugh -- to tell you when to stop singing!

A personal life coach can also greatly increase your productivity. Caruso wouldn’t have thought of performing without a prompter, and because of this, he typically did one opera one night in one town, and another opera the next night in another town.

Consider, for instance, if you are seriously looking for a lifetime partner on online dating sites. How on earth do you keep track of it all, and how do you know what to do when with each contender … kind of like a 5-hour Wagnerian opera isn’t it? Thank heavens for prompters, and thank heavens for coaches. I know I have greatly increased the success-capacity of many clients, and together we have pulled off some “bravo” and “encore” performances.

“My coach is someone to come back to and check in with along the way,” says one of my clients. “Susan eliminates a lot of static for me so I can concentrate on my game.”

In fact, pretty similar to WSJ’s description of a prompter as “…a safety net and a friendly face, allowing performers to concentrate more…” adding, “They help keep complex and loud passages together.”

For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . Dating coaching a specialty.


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Sunday, April 20, 2008

Supreme Court and Death Penalty

How do you make a decision? By the rules, but your intuition and experience? What constitutes "good judgement." What if you have to enforce something you personally think is wrong? We face these situations in our lives. If you face one of these as a Supreme Court Justice, how you feel and how you make the decision can have massive consequences for many people.

From "Courting Disaster" by Jonah Goldberg:

The court ruled that the state of Kentucky may continue to use lethal
injections when administering the death penalty. But that's not what's shocking. Nor was it surprising that for the first time Justice John Paul Stevens admitted he thinks the death penalty is unconstitutional.

What is staggering, or at least should be, is that Stevens freely
admits that he no longer considers "objective evidence" or even the plain text of the Constitution determinative of what is or isn't constitutional: "I have relied on my own experience in reaching the conclusion that the imposition of the death penalty" is unconstitutional.

Justice Antonin Scalia, in a blistering response, justifiably exclaimed
that, "Purer expression cannot be found of the principle of rule by judicial fiat."

It sounds like Stevens has decided it is "just plain wrong" ... and yet his job is to enforce the constitution. Send me your thoughts on this one - sdunn@susandunn.cc .


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